Saviours Salvation
by Belle A Lestrange
Summary: Two months after the war and Harry is struggling to cope with life, Having faced his mortality, he decides to take drastic actions to relive the childhood he and Sirius never got to share. After the war, Draco was released on house arrest under the care of an appointed guardian. How is he going to cope when he has to live with his cousin, Sirius Black, a baby Potter and no magic!
1. Prologue

**A/N: Hello my lovelies! Yes, it's happening, another Drarry story at last! I've been working on this idea for months now and have always wanted to write this style of story, so it's definitely a long time coming!**

**The rating will slowly climb as the chapters progress, but I think for now, rating it a 'T' for some imagery and naughty language, is okay.**

**I will try to update this story as often as I can, however I do also need to finish off at least one other fic, so please bear with me. I have been having a lot of medical tests done lately, so you know, fanfic is just for fun but I do adore it! I won't want to tease your little heads too much!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters created by JK Rowling.**

**Enjoy! x**

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**Prologue**

Harry bolted upright in bed drenched in sweat.

There was a loud noise ringing in his ears.

It was only after a few moments that he realised he was screaming. Hunching over, he pressed his face into his knees and starting hyperventilating just as his bedroom door shot open. Sirius stumbled clumsily into the room, settling on the edge of the four-poster bed and wrapped his arms around his trembling godson. His skin was flushed and damp, wet breaths rasping through the dark. They didn't need to talk. This had become somewhat of a routine for them since the war ended two months ago, in May. Sirius held his godson, staring vacantly at the windows as his tired brain caught up with him.

He didn't hold it against Harry for the nightmares.

He still had them himself.

It had even gotten to the point where Harry had bought his godfather an enchanted night-light; it was designed to dim when the person fell asleep, and to turn different soothing colours based on their emotional state whilst sleeping. It had been doing the trick for the last couple of weeks. It didn't absolve everything, of course, but at least he didn't wake up as Harry did; drenched in sweat, screaming and trembling with fear.

Harry hiccoughed.

Sirius continued to rub his back, his cheek leaning on his godson's head. Harry drew in deep breaths, the warm weight of Sirius calming the frenzied mess in his head.

"Was it him again?" Sirius asked in a low voice.

Harry shuddered and shook his head. "Not this time," he choked. He drew in another deep breath. "I was in the cave again ..."

A tear dripped onto Sirius' forearm. He held the teen tighter. "You've gone through so much, Harry. I never wanted this for you but I am so proud of what you did."

"Don't ..."

"Don't what?"

"Don't be proud ... of that."

Sirius pressed his lips together and nodded. He understood. "Alright, do you think you can walk?" he asked after a few moments. Harry nodded. "Good. You're coming upstairs."

"Sirius -"

"No arguments."

Harry resigned himself to his fate as he swung his legs over the end of the bed and stiffly followed Sirius out of his room.

The floorboards creaked as they climbed the stairs to Sirius' room. Hugging his arms tightly around himself, Harry flinched at the dull gold light creating swirling patterns on the ceiling of Sirius' room. It instantly calmed the frayed nerves inside him. Sirius padded over to the covers strewn over on one side of the bed and climbed back under them. Harry closed the door and followed suit on the other side. Sirius levitated the night-light onto Harry's side of the room.

"Sirius I really don't need the light."

"It's for one night, Harry. I'll be fine."

Harry felt relief swell in his chest. Burrowing down into the soft, cool pillows he was overwhelmed by the aroma of his godfather. It was comforting. A welcomed relief especially as his bones stilled seemed to ache after all the walking, fighting and running.

Harry stiffened when Sirius turned onto his side and grabbed him around the waist, dragging him over the mattress so that he was lying with his chest against Harry's back. Tears rushed to Harry's eyes but he blinked them away. Snuggling deeper into the pillows, he watched the swirling lights gently dim before his eyes. He drifted off to sleep within moments.

.

.

The following day Harry woke up to the sounds of Sirius pottering around in their muggle kitchen. It was something that Sirius had insisted on having since Harry only knew how to cook with non-magic appliances anyway, so it made sense for them. By the time he stumbled down into the kitchen, Sirius was dishing up the eggs, toast and bacon with two large mugs of tea. Raking a hand through his hair he sat down at the rickety old table and chairs.

"What time is it?" he asked, reaching for his mug.

"Just after eleven," Sirius said. "There we are!" He set both loaded plates onto the table with a satisfied grin. Harry could almost see the tail wagging. The man was too canine-like for his own good sometimes.

"Why did you let me sleep so late?"

Sirius shot his godson a perplexed look. "Harry you had a rough night. It's summer holidays. You have nothing to do right now. Just take some time to relax."

"I have a lot to do," Harry grunted. "I have all those trials to attend, and funerals and the charity rubbish."

Sirius rolled his eyes as he skewered a rasher of bacon on the end of his fork. "No offence, kid, but those funerals and fundraisers are going to happen whether you're there or not. Sure, you defeated that snake-faced bastard, but you're not responsible for everyone else's closure. Everything is still so raw and painful -these people will understand."

Harry frowned down at his food. He picked at it, his stomach churning with nerves. It took a great deal for him to work up the energy to eat at all, but he couldn't let Sirius' breakfasts go to waste. They were the little kick he needed to function throughout the day. His hand trembled a little as he focused on chewing, swallowing and breathing. If Sirius noticed, he didn't comment. Harry was grateful for that.

He finished off his food and took his plate to the sink.

"What do you think you'll do today?" Sirius asked.

Harry froze in the doorway. "I ... I don't know. I was just going to do some reading."

"Don't you want to go and see Ron and the others at the burrow?"

He felt his shoulders stiffen. "Uh ... No, I don't really feel in the mood for it. Besides, Ron and Hermione always want to sneak off and be alone so ... "

Sirius gave an understanding smile. "That's fair enough I suppose. Do you want to come with me to visit Remus and Teddy?"

"Um ..."

"Or, would you prefer to stay home?"

Harry gave a trembling smile and inclined his head. "I'd rather stay."

Sirius sighed. "You can't hide away for ever, Harry."

"I know," Harry ground out. "Just ... for now, okay?"

For the rest of the day, whilst Sirius was out for a play-date with Remus and Teddy, Harry couldn't do anything except for going into the Black Family library on the second floor, and going through the dusty old tomes to look for anything to occupy his mind. He ended up carrying a couple of the thick books back up to his room and sprawled out on the bed, leafing through each one, reading a couple of chapters that piqued his interest before moving onto the next.

Despite himself he found his interest creeping up as he leafed through a potions textbook. It wasn't necessarily old, published in the mid twentieth century, but the sheer neglect of the house still left numerous artefacts layered in dust. As he thumbed through the copy, he came across something that caught his eye. In that moment, everything seemed to click in his head. It would help him not to deal with the horrible, crushing weight of life after the war. The emptiness of knowing that he still had to go on, to study, to get a job and become a functional member of society.

However, hadn't he done enough of that?

He'd been standing up for the entire wizarding world -alone -and he still had to do things for them? He was just one boy. Hadn't he done enough by now?

Running a hand down his face, he sighed.

He needed to talk to Sirius as soon as he got home.

Thankfully, that moment came all too soon.

Harry was in the kitchen and was heating up the oven for dinner when the man sauntered in from the living-room, the roar of the Floo Network dying away in the background. Sirius always seemed to have a glowing aura about him when he returned from seeing Remus. It was as though being around his old friend was one of two rays of sunshine in the older man's life.

"What're you reading there?" Sirius called from the hallway.

"Just an old potions book from upstairs."

"Of all things to spend a nice day like this doing, and you're reading a _potions_ book?"

Harry didn't even smile.

Sirius sat down at the table, clasping his hands together and leaning forward. "What's this really about, Harry?"

Turning the book towards his godfather, Harry pointed at the potion he'd been looking into. "This caught my eye earlier. I've been doing some reading and it seems to revert the drinker to a younger version of themselves."

"A shrinking solution?" Sirius frowned. "Harry, you don't need to experiment with things like this."

"Why not?" Harry asked, looking up at his guardian. "This could be just what I _need_."

Sirius skimmed the cramped print on the old pages and felt a weight twist in his stomach. He pressed his lips together. "Harry, if this isn't brewed correctly you could be poisoned."

"Or it could give me the childhood I never had," Harry stated with a desperate plea in his voice. "I could have that with _you_."

Sirius rubbed at his temples, ignoring the swell of affection and anxiety in his heart. This wasn't a decision to take lightly. Not to mention, Remus would skin him alive if he found out Sirius had been a part of it. He couldn't deny that he was tempted. All he'd ever wanted was to get out of Azkaban and provide his godson with the wizarding family-life he'd always wanted. His fingers skimmed along the old, crackling page and felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. It wasn't impossible.

In fact, he was very adept at brewing potions. He'd be able to make this one easily enough. Just ... did he really wanted to deal with the repercussions of Harry's rash decisons?

The poor kid had _suffered_.

There was no denying that.

One of the healer's at St. Mungo's had insisted it was the worst case of PTSD they'd seen in someone so young. There hadn't been any medication they could offer other than therapy for Harry to attend twice a week. If nothing else, the therapy had made the nightmares worse. No amount of anger on Sirius' part had been able to make the healer's see that.

He'd pulled Harry out instantly and didn't need to be convinced that the teen wouldn't be going back.

Refocusing on the text before him, Sirius sighed and straightened up a little in his chair. His curls swayed as he rubbed at his jaw with one hand. If Harry was serious about this then he would need time to brew the potion correctly. That would at least give the teen time to change his mind if he so wished.

"If I go to Diagon Alley and buy these ingredients, bearing in mind it will take a little while to brew, will you tell me if you change your mind?" Sirius asked.

"Of course!"

Sirius still felt apprehensive, but he didn't want to discourage Harry. Not when he had that hopeful gleam in his eyes for the first time in two months. It was enough to soften Sirius' doubt, if only for a moment. "Okay," he conceded, "We'll get the things we need."

Harry's face relaxed into the easiest smile. It had been months since Harry had had such a calm demeanour. Sirius wanted to do everything in his power to keep his godson as calm and content as possible.

This potion was in his power -maybe this was something he _needed_ to do.

~0~

Three weeks later, Harry woke up from an afternoon nap to find a phial of acid green liquid waiting for him on his bedside table along with a note from his godfather.

It glowed and fizzed a little as he tugged the cork off and winced at the sharp scent. For a brief moment he hesitated, doubt creeping into the back of his mind. A stab of the overwhelming guilt and fear from his nightmares shot through him. He downed the phial, the potion burning its way down his throat.

For a moment nothing happened.

Harry almost wondered if it was a trick Sirius was playing on him, a test of some sort. Then he felt something twisting inside him, as though he was suddenly shrinking down, the four-poster bed stretching out ahead of him. He felt nauseated and a trickle of fear dropped into his gut. He tried calling out for Sirius -but couldn't.

Briefly, everything stopped and then -

With a loud 'pop' his glasses clattered noisily to the floor.

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**A/N: A very twisty beginning indeed! Let me know what you think of this opening!**

**Also, for anyone who is interested, I have just released another eBook on Amazon that involved vampires! Just search for 'The Patient' by Victoria Hyder and if anyone fancies it, give it a read!**


	2. Chapter 1: July

**A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me. Thank you for babyvfan for the support, and to Fanofbellaandedward for proof-reading this for me! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

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**Chapter One**

**~ July~**

Draco fidgeted on the hard wooden bench as Kingsley Shacklebolt took the parchment from a member of the jury. He swallowed thickly, sweat steaming on his skin. He hadn't slept in weeks. He hadn't been allowed to get a haircut. His fingernails were chipped and rough whenever he clenched his hands into fists.

Shacklebolt unfolded the parchment.

Draco closed his eyes, his heart hammering in his ears.

Beside him, his mother clasped her hand over his own. Her grip was cold and tight, hardly the comfort he longed for in that moment. He drew in a wet breath. Was he shaking? Or was it his mother? He couldn't tell.

"The jury have voted unanimously, and recognises that one Draco Lucius Malfoy was integrated into the ranks of the Death Eaters and bears their mark on his forearm. However, considering he was not of legal age at the time of initiation the Ministry of Magic has deemed him a victim of grotesque abuse and mutilation."

Yes, he was definitely shaking.

"As Minister of Magic, I am certifying that Draco Malfoy is the victim of abuse; physically, mentally and emotionally. The psychological trauma he has suffered at the hands of Voldemort himself, have made fully grown men, break. Through this young man's sheer will to fight to protect himself and his family, I am declaring that he not be committed to Azkaban for being complicit in any crimes relating to Death Eater activity."

There were heated murmurs starting up in the crowd of reporters and civilians present at the trial. Draco was grateful that the auror's had a protective barrier erected between himself and the angry mob on the other side of the courtroom.

His mother squeezed his hand. Her nails dug into his flesh.

"However, for the next twelve months he will be placed into the protective custody of a relative at a secure location where he will be on house arrest."

More angry voices.

Draco frowned up at Shacklebolt. What was he talking about?

"As a personal request to me, should he wish to return to study, he shall be allowed to do so with a series of auror's placed in the school to help protect him at all times."

"Who gives him the right?! Harry Potter wouldn't stand for this after what he's done!" a rowdy man called from the crowd of fuming witches and wizards. Draco wished he could press himself further into the wooden bench.

"I have here a letter from one, Harry Potter," Shacklebolt declared, freeing a letter from the folds of his bright purple robes. Opening it up he called, "It reads;

'_Draco Malfoy is a brave wizard. Despite what people may say, he has been through more than any one person should suffer through. He did what he had to do to survive. He has done things he will never be proud of and will have to live with for the rest of his life._

_As I have done._

_However, I also know and have been shown that he is a remarkably talented and smart wizard. He deserves to regain what was stolen from him. Not everyone gets that chance, many people have died fighting for that chance, but we are in a free world now. I did not fight for frightened people to be condemned. I did not fight for innocent people to be tossed in prison to rot away._

_I fought for us all to have a second chance. A chance for a better life, not hiding in fear._

_See that Draco Malfoy gets the protection he requires wherever he chooses to go. However, if he does show any signs of derailing from this new lease on life, I leave it in the hands of Kingsley Shacklebolt to deal with the matter as he sees fit._

_Sincerely,_

_Harry. J. Potter_'."

The room fell silent.

Draco was terrified. He felt sick to his stomach. Potter had written such a sincere and raw letter in aid of his freedom? Was this a dream? He didn't dare to look up from his lap. He was too scared to look up and see that it was all some toxic, trauma-induced dream.

"It is hereby the consensus of the jury that Draco Malfoy shall be released into the protective custody of his relative, Sirius Black."

Draco's head shot up. His cousin? He hadn't known that he was going to be released into someone else's custody. He wanted to remain with his mother. She needed his support. Father had already been sentenced to Azkaban, there was no way around that. There would be a chance for parole and leniency in a few years time, however too much was happening for his brain to process.

The manor and their assets had been seized, and their accounts frozen, to help 'repay' some of the damage done by the Malfoy name. All their heirlooms were being auctioned off. It made him feel sick seeing all the empty spaces around his home. Shacklebolt had insisted that they would keep the property itself, but everything in it was free game. Draco had literally been watching his inheritance drip away.

"As for Narcissa Black Malfoy; the jury have decreed that she will be exiled from Great Britain for fifteen years with the chance to appeal our decision in seven."

He gripped his mother's hand.

A tear dripped down her cheek as she straightened up beside him. That'd be the only weakness she showed, he knew that. Her lips were pursed and her back was ramrod straight. "It'll be okay, my dragon," she murmured softly, her lips barely moving as she spoke.

He shook his head, barely daring to believe her, to believe the jury's decision. None of it made sense. A part of him almost wanted to crawl into a filthy hovel of a cell and rot on the cold, stone floor. He deserved it, didn't he?

The gavel came down.

The sentencing was final.

Draco still couldn't breathe.

.

.

In the adjoining room, Draco let himself collapse into a hardback chair, his insides numbed from the experience. Narcissa glided into the chair adjacent to him and folded her hands on the tabletop. Under her façade she was as drained as Draco; she wore no make-up and her hair was frazzled at the ends, but that was as far as she would allow the public to see her distress.

Kingsley and their lawyer join them.

"That went as well as could be expected," he stated, seating himself opposite the Malfoy's. "I will ensure that you have a team of four auror's accompany you back to the manor so that you can pack your essentials."

"We're to leave tonight?" Narcissa asked, her brow furrowing ever so slightly.

"You have a port-key awaiting for you for 8AM tomorrow morning," Kingsley stated. "Your son, however, will need to be escorted to his cousin's house this evening. It'll make the process easier and we can finalise the papers now."

Narcissa let out a long breath through her nose. "Very well. Has my cousin consented to allowing my son to stay with him?"

"We contacted Mr. Black prior to the sentencing. His owl arrived with his, albeit, reluctant agreement to the situation on the condition that your son obeys his rules and 'pull his weight' as quoted by your cousin's letter."

Draco was aware of them talking about him, but he felt disengaged from his body. It was as though this situation didn't apply to him, like it was happening to someone else. The one thing that kept going around in his head was that Potter had written a letter on his behalf. He had to wonder as to the jury's leniency regarding his own mother's trial. She was a known Death Eater and had been complicit in some low-level crimes, of what people knew at least. Yet she hadn't even heard the word Azkaban at her trial. She wouldn't tell him why.

"Is the letter real?" he found himself asking. It was as though his mouth worked on its own, his raspy voice cutting through the conversation being had by the other adults.

"I bet your pardon Mr. Malfoy?" Kingsley frowned.

"The letter. From Potter. Is it real?"

The minister took a moment before taking the letter from his pocket and sliding it across the table to the youngest Malfoy. Taking the letter in his hands, Draco unfolded the parchment and read it, feeling disgusted with himself for even knowing Potter's handwriting. It seemed legitimate.

"Did you check this for contamination?" he asked stoically. Shacklebolt nodded. "Okay," he murmured. What else did he have to say at this point? Folding the letter back up, he slid it back towards the minister and recoiled into his chair.

He had been sentenced as had his mother. Now they just needed to wait to be escorted back to their desolate manor and individually pack whatever they had left to take with them. They would be parting ways. His stomach dropped through the floor. He would be without his mother. She'd always been a calming constant in his life and now she would be thousands of miles away, in France.

The auror's came.

They were practically frog-marched towards the floo-network, a large path being cut through the cluster of civilians. Narcissa strode through with all her remaining dignity, her cold charm radiating outwards to show that she could not be broken. Draco knew he looked worse for wear. He had not inherited his mother's cool radiance as much as he liked to believe so. No, he was a coward as much as his father had been towards the end of the war.

His mother stepped through the floo with two auror's on either side of her. Draco watched the flames engulf her. It made him feel sick. As soon as the fire died down, it was his turn. He was extremely aware that the two men either side of him were armed, whereas his own wand was still being detained. Stepping over the grate, Draco caught one last sight of the angry crowd before the green flames leapt up and swallowed him with a sharp tug on his navel.

He only stumbled a little on the other side. Usually there was a hearthrug to soften the impact on his feet -but that had been sold-off a few weeks ago. Straightening up he brushed some soot from his jacket sleeve. Narcissa turned to the auror's and pursed her lips.

"I take it we shall have two chaperones each?" she asked icily.

The auror's nodded.

"Very well. You two follow me to my rooms, you two can accompany my son. It shouldn't take us more than a few hours to pack."

"With all due respect, Mrs. Malfoy," one of the auror's said, bitterly. "It doesn't take that long to pack."

"With all due respect, Mr. Ackley, but the ministry has confiscated my wand. Meaning everything must be done manually. Forgive me for being prudish, but I don't much like the idea of any of you lot going through my clothes."

Her tone was frosty and cut through the air like a shard of ice.

No one argued with her.

With that being said, Narcissa cast one last look at her son before turning on her heel and leaving the entrance hall towards the staircase. Draco watched her go, feeling lost already. At the very least he needed to focus and do something practical. So, he cleared his throat and followed his mother's lead, and beckoned for the auror's to follow him up the grand staircase towards his bedchamber.

The two auror's were stationed by the main door as Draco dug a couple of large trunks from under his bed. They were a little old and the buckles were battered, but he was sure they could be replaced. Preservation charms only lasted so long. From his walk-in wardrobe and drawers he managed to dig out what little attire he had left. It was quite limited to what he was used to. Some of his finer robes had been sold off. It crushed his insides to know that the money was being spent to aid the charities and damage done by the war, most of it hadn't been done by him or his family. Sadly, that was the law.

Manually taking his clothes off of their hangers and folding them himself was beyond arduous. He used to have so much free time, he realised. No wonder his father loathed muggles, even from the simple fact that they had to do _everything_ by hand. How did anyone live like this? He ground his teeth together, biting back the request for the auror's to charm his belongings to fold themselves. That would be weakness.

His clothes managed to just fit into the first trunk, which left the second one freed up for his remaining toiletries, books and other assorted items that he'd managed to hold onto.

Glancing around his room, at all the empty spaces, he felt his heart shatter. Hidden at the bottom of one of his trunks was the small stuffed dragon he'd had since he was little. It was the one childhood possession his mother had allowed him to keep. He couldn't leave that behind. Not that it had any monetary value of course, but it had such sentimental value to Draco himself that he couldn't dare leave it behind.

"Is that everything?" Auror Pembrooke asked.

Draco sighed quietly and nodded. "Yes. That's it."

Back down in the entrance hall of the manor, Narcissa was already awaiting her son and his bodyguards. Her trunks were stationed beside her, looking as full as his own felt. There was a longing in her eyes that was meant only for him and he felt the ache of loneliness spread through his chest. He gave her a smile that barely reached his eyes. She inclined her head towards the door. One of her auror's -was is Ackley? -must be activating the portkey that would take us to Sirius Black's house.

Dread solidified in Draco's stomach.

"The portkey is ready," came Ackley's voice from just outside the large, oak doors.

In silence, they filed out of the manor for what would most likely be the last time for a good few years to come. Draco wanted to run back up to his bed and hide under the covers like he'd done when he was small, but he shook the urge away. The portkey was a battered old purse, frayed threads unravelling where once beads would have been sewn into the silk fabric. It was awkward to pinch at the small purse.

With another sickening tug on his insides, the portkey activated.

~0~

Stepping through the gated off area, Draco stiffened as the tip of a wand pressed into his lower back, urging him forward quickly. Through numerous illuminated windows Draco could see muggles sitting and laughing at some flickering thing mounted on their walls, or doing something that looked like -was that washing or cooking? Either way it involved a lot of handiwork. The sky was barely darkening overhead and despite the twenty minute walk from Kings Cross Station, Draco knew that he wouldn't fall asleep, even when the chance came to do so.

"Is this it?" he asked.

"Yes," Narcissa murmured, reaching into the inner pocket of her robes. She withdrew a sheet of parchment and tapped her wand to the page. "_Revelio_," she whispered. Black ink appeared over the parchment. Holding the page over to her son she said, "Read it. Out loud and clearly."

Gingerly taking the parchment from his mother, Draco mouthed the words three times before glancing up at the houses. Licking his lips he spoke; "Number Twelve Grimmauld Place."

The grating of brick-on-brick filled the night air. Belongings rattled aggressively in the neighbouring buildings of number eleven and number thirteen, however the muggles appeared unperturbed. It was fascinating to watch as an entirely new building pushed its way through, with concrete steps popping up and embedding themselves into the street below.

A door appeared, the number '12' gleaming in the lamplight.

As a unit, they moved towards the concrete steps. Narcissa escorted her son up to the front door. The wood was glossy black, the sole knocker in the shape of a silver serpent chasing its own tail. There was no key-holes or anything else to indicate it could be opened other than by magic. Narcissa pressed the doorbell, hearing it clang out throughout the house within.

It took a little while before someone answered.

Draco didn't remember anything about Sirius Black other than the few mugshots that the Daily Prophet had printed when he'd first escaped from Azkaban. There had once been a tiny photo during his own trials following the war, however his name had been cleared with a fair trial and he'd skilfully avoided the press from that moment on. Whatever Draco had remembered of his cousin, the real thing was something far more grand and strange at the same time. He stood six foot two and had the trade-mark mass of dark brown -almost black -curls sitting on his shoulders with a neatly groomed moustache and beard. He was dressed in a pair of pressed pants and had a pinstriped shirt on, the collar undone and his sleeves rolled up past his elbows.

He took them all in, his grey eyes flicking from face-to-face before acknowledging the auror's stationed on the last step. "Narcissa," he inclined his head. "Draco."

"Sirius," she replied. "I take it you received Kingsley's letter."

"I did."

"I apologise for having to disrupt your life in this manner."

"If it had been up to me I'd have flat-out refused. However," he cast a side-ways look at Draco, "I know that one or two friends of mine would have something to say about any negligence on my part."

"It's greatly appreciated," Narcissa said sincerely, emotion finally ebbing into her voice. From her robes she withdrew an envelope with Sirius' name printed on the front. "This probably contains information on how to protect Draco and yourself from reporters and other counter-measures."

Sirius accepted the letter without a word. He slipped it into his pocket. Glancing down he noted Draco's two large trunks and frowned. "Is that all you have with you?"

Bristling, Draco ground his teeth. "Yes."

Sirius nodded thoughtfully. "That's a shame."

Draco barely had a moment to think of a response before his mother turned towards him and enveloped him in her arms. He may have grown taller than her, but the way she gathered him against her chest always had him feeling tiny and eager to cling to her robes. He inhaled her deeply, drinking in the scent of her french perfume and praying the smell clung to him for as long as possible.

"I love you, my dragon," she murmured into his ear.

"I love you too, mother," he said. He squeezed her tightly, not caring about decorum in that moment. His eyes felt hot but he refused to cry twice in one day. With a kiss to his cheek, Narcissa withdrew from the embrace, her own eyes sparkling in the lamplight.

"I'll write to you as soon as I'm settled in," she promised.

"Thank you," he managed to say.

He watched as Narcissa retreated down the concrete steps. She and the four auror's stepped down onto the pavement, the wards humming as they stepped through. Draco felt the vague disturbance in the air but otherwise was unaffected by it. Once he was added to the wards -if he was added -it'd be different. Draco watched as they moved back through into the gated off park across the street. In the blink of an eye, they were gone.

Sirius turned to his cousin and folded his arms across his chest. "I suppose you'd better come in. It's not safe for you to be out and about right now." He stepped aside and let Draco drag his own trunks in through the open door.

The hallway was pleasantly cool compared to the muggy air outside.

Setting his trunks just inside the door, Draco watched as Sirius flicked his wand to lock the door with a few wordless charms. Turning to his cousin, Sirius furrowed his brow. This was a most unwelcome arrangement. He hadn't even had time to send an owl to Remus to let him know about this current predicament. Not that it was an issue on the other man's part; Remus would have been sensible enough about it.

"Okay, let's get you settled in."

Draco nodded mutely, grasping the handles of his trunks again. He followed Sirius up the stairs to the first floor landing. The door they stopped at, had an ornate 'R' in silver attached at eye-level. Inside, the decor was expected; two-tone grey striped wallpaper lined the tall walls, the bedframe was made of dark wood and intricately carved, with matching bookcases and a dresser opposite the bed. A fireplace stood proudly off to the left side and there was a floor-to-ceiling window beside the dresser, letting in a lot of light.

"This can be your room if you like," Sirius stated. "It's been used recently but everything has been cleaned and freshened up for you."

"Thanks," Draco swallowed thickly.

"If you're feeling hungry, I can have some food ready for you in about half an hour."

Draco stiffened as hunger stabbed through his insides. He didn't have the energy to eat. "I don't know if I can."

Sirius inclined his head. "It's been a long day. A long few weeks. Come downstairs, I'll have Kreacher sort something out for you."

"Kreacher?"

"My house-elf."

"Oh ..." Draco trailed off. They had been forced to free their remaining house-elves by order of the ministry. The ones who wanted to work were auctioned off to other families, some even going to Hogwarts. He hadn't bonded with any of them though, not really. None since second year when he'd had Dobby and sent him to...

"Where's Potter?" he asked.

Sirius frowned, "What?"

"Potter? Harry Potter? He lives here, doesn't he?"

"He does."

Draco waited for more of an answer, or some vague explanation as to why Potter hadn't made an appearance yet, but his cousin was hardly forthcoming. He supposed he couldn't blame him, not after his history with the bespectacled git. Any idiot would know not to let them in the same room together, but sharing a house? For the unforeseen future? How the fuck was that going to go?

"Get unpacked," Sirius' voice cut through his thoughts. "Downstairs in twenty minutes."

"Yes sir," Draco murmured automatically, and cringed. Fuck ... where had that come from?

Thankfully, Sirius didn't comment on it. The frown on his face said it all. He gave Draco a tight-lipped half-smile before leaving the room. His footsteps retreated down the staircase.

For the first time in weeks Draco let out a long sigh, feeling his entire body deflate. He was still incredibly tense and his mind was a mess but at least he had somewhere to unwind later on that night. Feeling stiff, scratchy and exhausted, Draco opted to change out of his courtroom suit. The scent of his mother's perfume still clung to the collar of his jacket. It brought tears to his eyes. Brushing them aside, he changed into a more casual outfit, lying the suit out across the foot of his bed and hugged his arms around his chest.

So this was it? His new home?

It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

With a sigh, he turned away from the room, manually shut off the light, and made his way downstairs for whatever Kreacher was cooking. Maybe food would calm his nerves. He could hope so, at least.

* * *

**A/N: So I hope there was enough information in this chapter in regards to Draco, Sirius and Narcissa post-war. If not, please write any questions in the review and I will answer them as best I can! **

**Bee x**


	3. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me. Thank you to Fanofbellaandedward for proof-reading this for me! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

The long kitchen-come-dining-room had terracotta tiles lining the floor and a rustic feeling running through the entire place, including the copper coloured pots and pans hanging on the walls and shelves above the cooker. A muggle cooker, Draco noted as he stood awkwardly in the doorway. The dining table looked new but well-worn already, the chairs tucked in on all sides. A hunched over house-elf was pottering around the stove, the smell of food suddenly caught in the air and punched Draco in the gut. Whatever was cooking, smelled amazing. He hadn't had much of an appetite in the last few weeks.

The house-elf turned around and froze, his dull eyes growing wide. "Master Malfoy, sir, it is a privilege to be meeting you."

Draco gave a curt nod, suddenly feeling sickened as the elf bowed low before straightening up. He looked a little grubby but completely at home being domesticated. He was old though, that wasn't too unusual.

"Master Malfoy be seating himself, sir," the elf gestured to a chair nearer the stove, "Kreacher is making the shepherds pie. Is Master Black's choice tonight."

Draco settled down, grateful for the warmth emanating from the stove. He hadn't realised how cold he felt.

The dining room was long and narrow, stretching the full length of the ground floor. It was unsettling to think of how Christmas dinners were able to work, if that was even a tradition his cousin partook in. Just as Kreacher levitated the dishes over towards the table, the kitchen door opened and Sirius stepped down into the kitchen. He regarded Draco with a slightly wary expression but sat down opposite him regardless and pulled a plate closer.

They started eating in silence, Sirius dismissing Kreacher to do as he pleased. It didn't last long, however. "So what do you plan on doing now that you've been released into my custody?" he asked.

Draco looked up from picking at his food. "I -hadn't known what to expect after the trial."

"I had a few ideas when I was in prison," Sirius stated, taking a long drink from his goblet. "But they all revolved around killing old friends." He gave a thin smile which sent a shiver down Draco's spine. It must have shown on his face because a sudden bark of laughter from the older man made him jump. "Calm down, kid. The man was killed, friends avenged, I can finally move on with my life. If I can manage it, you will too."

"Somehow that's not reassuring."

This time Sirius gave a proper smile. "Trust me. You'll manage. You just need to figure out what you want to do with yourself."

Draco hunched over his food. It tasted good, he was sure, but to him everything tasted like cardboard. "Most people won't want a Death Eater near them, regardless of how I became one or not."

"Have they recommended therapy?"

Narrowing his eyes, Draco nodded. "Yes ... Why?"

"That's one of the things that Harry insisting on making available for everyone who suffered first-hand in the war. Making sure that they were all allowed therapy. Naturally any criminals or people on trial wanting therapy would need to have Aurors with them, but that was easily done."

"I see," Draco mumbled. "Where is Potter anyway? Too busy with fundraisers to grace as with his time?"

Sirius stiffened a little, his grey eyes darkening. "Bitterness will lead you down a dark path, Draco. I'd have thought it'd be easy to let go of petty playground bullshit considering what you've both been through." He locked eyes with the teen, "You of all people should know the impact Voldemort had on any one person."

Draco bowed his head, "Sorry, sir."

"No need," he said dismissively. "Now let's move on to another order of business."

Draco steeled himself.

"After dinner, we're going to add you to the wards so that you will be allowed to come and go easier, and have protection as long as you remain inside this house." Draco nodded in understanding, "You will make every attempt to be sociable as much as possible. I will escort you too and from your therapy sessions, unless I am unavailable, in which case an Auror will be appointed."

"I'm not a child," he snapped, but there was no heat behind his words.

"I'm aware. It's merely something I have agreed upon. After Christmas we can revisit it depending on progress and whatever else has been done." Sirius laced his fingers together under his chin. "I have also agreed to some terms with the ministry. You have permission to write letters to your mother as soon as she is settled in her house in France, and she to you."

"I ... appreciate that."

"And we can look into opening communication channels to your friends-"

"That won't be necessary," Draco cut in, his jaw rigid.

Sirius didn't ask for him to elaborate and that was just fine with the blonde. He didn't need his cousin to pity him, knowing that he had no friends to talk to. Pansy was out on parole, Blaise and his family had fled to Italy after making a sizeable donation to various charities. He hadn't gotten the dark mark, so Draco didn't see why his friend was running. Perhaps it was just a precaution? Either way, Draco wasn't sure he knew what to say to his friend.

"This is going to be hard for you," Sirius stated, matter-of-factly. What he said next wasn't to be mean, it was just the reality that had been thrust upon them. "It will be hard for a while. People will yell things, spread rumours and constantly piss you off. You _need_ to have some friends."

Draco ground his teeth together.

"I don't know where I would be if I hadn't had at least one."

"Is that all it takes?" Draco found himself asking, even daring to look up at the brunette man. "From going mad?"

Sirius inclined his head, "Believe it or not, once you open the door for one, usually a torrent follow whether you like it or not."

In spite of how he felt, Draco felt his face muscles wanting to smile. It almost happened. Almost. He managed to eat a few more mouthfuls before his stomach protested. Pushing his plate away, he drained the last of his juice and shuddered. "I ... don't think I can eat anymore," he stated apologetically.

Sirius waved him off. "It's fine. It'll keep. For now, I think you'd best have a bath, wash the day off you, and have an early night. I find sleep often ... troublesome. I had the liberty of ordering something that might take the edge off."

Draco gut dropped. Was it a whole crate of dreamless sleep? He found he didn't really want to know the answer. He was just about to step up into the hallway when he stopped. "Where exactly is the bathroom is this ... maze?"

"Up the stairs, second floor, down the corridor and it's the door on the right."

.

.

The bathroom wasn't as large as Draco was used to but at the same time, it wasn't claustrophobic. The floor was black and white tiled like a chess-board and the walls were a deep blue colour. The ancient knobs and taps looked like pewter and were deeply engraved, much like what Draco had back at the manor.

Even the taps were engraved to resemble snakes.

The claw-foot tub stood proudly underneath the window, the pipes gurgling a little as Draco turned the hot water on. Slowly, the tub started to fill, bubbles foaming up as soon as he remembered that he had to _add_ the bubble-bath now. That would take some getting used to.

Perched on the edge of the tub, Draco looked around the rest of the room. There wasn't much to see; there was an oval mirror above the sink that looked older than he was, and there were shelves stacked with various soaps, shampoos and after-shaves all in different colours and scents. Draco had merely used the bottle perched on the window-sill.

Once the bath had filled, he stripped out of his clothes and climbed into the tub, sinking down beneath the bubbles.

Once he'd washed his hair and scrubbed his skin raw, he stepped out onto the mat on the floor, dried off and dressed back into his clothes. The grandfather clock in the hallway announced it was 8PM. He had never felt more ready to sleep in his entire life. Padding up the small staircase to his room, he let the door creak open and froze when he saw the trio of large orbs hovering over by the dresser. He frowned up at them, pressing himself back into the door. What the fuck was that?

"This was something that I'd gotten as a present," Sirius' voice made him jump. The man was too damn quiet sometimes. "They adjust to your emotional state of mind; when you're tired they'll dim down, when you have a nightmare they'll be bright enough to calm you down, or change colour, depending."

Draco glanced at the older man. "I'm guessing it was a gift from Potter."

"Yes," Sirius hummed. "There's only so much waking up and screaming either one of us could take. Darkness was the main catalyst."

"Hopefully they work," Draco murmured apprehensively.

"If they don't we can try something -"

An ear-splitting cry shattered the moment.

Draco cringed away from the door, grabbing blindly for his wand and only finding air. "What the fuck was that?" he grimaced, clenching the bedpost. "Was that a ... Do you have a baby?"

Sirius was already hurrying out of the door. "Not exactly!" he shot over his shoulder.

Draco didn't know what that could possibly mean but he decided he didn't have the energy to find out. Slamming the bedroom door closed he was grateful that it kept the crying to a dull echo, even without a silencing charm. Rooting around in his trunk, he pulled out the worn-out dragon. A tremor ran down his spine as he tugged the covers of the bed back and burrowed down underneath. Despite it being the middle of summer he was glad for the cool weight of the blankets pressing down on top of him. Burrowing under the pillows, he deafened himself to the rest of the world and clenched his eyes shut.

Clenching the dragon's neck tightly, Draco willed himself to sleep.

~0~

Draco sat bolt upright in bed at 7:34AM.

The lights were a dull yellow, sending soft swirling patterns of golden light around the room. His breathing was ragged, his skin drenched in a sheen of sweat. The nightmare had rendered his bath the previous evening completely useless. Scraping his hair back off of his forehead, he started shaking as the cool morning air rushed over him. There was no fire in the grate. His heart sank even further in his chest; usually the house-elves would have lit a fire so that he wouldn't have to wake up to a cold room.

_'I hadn't realised how much I relied on magic_,' he thought bitterly as he kicked his covers aside and hunted through his trunk for something -anything -to wrap around himself to ward off the chill.

Bundled up in thicker layers than necessary, Draco felt as though he could sleep no longer, despite how tempting the bed looked. In the end, his gut decided that he was hungry enough to warrant padding down to the kitchen. The fire in the fireplace and the stove were on, Kreacher was pottering around making eggs and bacon with toast. Draco almost doubled over with hunger as he settled down at the table.

"Morning Master Malfoy, sir. Kreacher is making the master's's breakfast! Would the young Master be needings something he likes?"

"Do you have any sausages?" Draco asked, trying to keep his tone polite.

"Yes, Kreacher is having the sausages." He bustled over to the pantry and returned with a plate of sausages that he added to the frying pan.

The sizzle was loud.

"Thanks."

"No needing to thanks Kreacher, sirs."

Draco opened his mouth to argue but promptly shut it as footfalls echoed down the stairs. He braced himself to deal with Sirius after, what he could only assume, a sleepless night. The door behind him swung open. Much to Draco's chagrin, the older man didn't look much different from last night. His hair looked a little bushier, reminding him of Granger, and he had a fresh shirt on but otherwise looked unchanged. Except for the baby in his arms!

Draco bristled. "Where the hell did that come from?"

Sirius shot him a look but didn't say anything as he transfigured a regular chair into a high-chair, settling the squirming infant into it. "Kreacher prepare some milk."

"Kreacher is getting the milks for the baby Potter."

Draco's jaw dropped. "What -what the fuck?" He leaned over the table, staring right into the brat's eyes. They were bright green and shining, rimmed by thick lashes. The trademark scar was puckered and raw on his forehead underneath a fluffy black fringe. "Oh Merlin's beard! Is that POTTER?!"

Sirius waved him to sit back down, hissing a loud "Shhhh!" as he did so. "Don't be too loud, you don't want to set him off again."

"ME?!" Draco snapped, aghast. "I've not even been here a day! How do you expect me to deal with this?!" He gestured at Potter who was currently suckling on a bottle that Kreacher held out for him. Standing up, appetite gone, Draco backed away to the kitchen door. "I can't -I can't do this!"

"Draco wait!"

The door crashed open, almost smacking the blonde in the face. Remus Lupin -really? Him?! -stood framed in the doorway, looking like thunder, his eyes blazing gold as he glared over Draco's shoulder at the scene before him. The whole look was sort of diminished a little by the baby strapped to his chest. The man barely glanced at Draco as he came down the two steps.

"Mr. Malfoy I suggest you go to your room," he stated darkly.

Despite the instinct to argue his right to know what was going on, Draco decided that angering a werewolf was not a lot different to angering a hippogriff, so he did as he was told. For now. Stepping around the tall man, Draco hedged along the hall towards the staircase and gingerly backed up to his room. Before he'd even reached the first landing, the shouting started making him flinch.

"_WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!_"

"_Moony, don't start_ -"

"_DON'T YOU 'MOONY' ME, SIRIUS! WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE?!_"

"_Didn't you get my letter?!_" Sirius snapped. "_He made his decision! I just helped him, that's all!"_

"_AND THAT JUSTIFIES THIS?!"_ Lupin snarled. A shiver ran through Draco's limbs as he crouched beside the bannister, feeling very much like he was an infant again. "_IF HE WAS FEELING THIS WAY THEN HE NEEDED PROFESSIONAL HELP NOT TO RUN AWAY FROM HIS PROBLEMS_!"

"_HASN'T HE HAD ENOUGH OF THAT, REMUS?!_" Sirius hollered. It was the sound of a caged animal, a wrecked soul barely holding itself together. It hollowed Draco out. Was this was Azkaban did to you? Was that what it'd do to his father? "_HE HAS DONE NOTHING BUT BE THERE FOR EVERYONE ELSE, DOING WHAT THEY ALL ASKED OF HIM! THIS WAS ... This was the only thing I could do for him_ ..."

There was a heavy pause.

"_I suppose there's not much that can be done_," Lupin's gravelly voice stated in a resigned manner. "_For what it's worth, this is the single most STUPID THING you've done."_

_"Is that including escaping from Azkaban or ...?"_

"_You're lucky these two are here, otherwise I'd bludgeon you with a chair!_"

The voices dropped even quieter to the point where Draco could only make out a few words here and there. He sat, hunched over on the stairs with his shoulder slotted between the poles of the bannister. He felt vulnerable and as low as he'd felt since before the trial. What was he doing here? It was barely convenient and now there was this mess with Potter to deal with?

_'Typical_,' he thought bitterly. _'Not even being forced into someone else's care and being on trial is enough for the spotlight. Potter always manages to upstage me somehow_.'

The thought barely lasted a moment before the reality of Potter's dilemma sunk into his brain. To revert oneself to an earlier version of themselves -a younger version -one really had to be suffering.

_'Maybe he had the right_ idea,' he thought idly. _'What I wouldn't give to worry about nothing but crapping myself every few hours_.'

Letting out a long, weary sigh he used the bannister to help hoist him back up to his feet. His body was stiff and aching with fatigue. Even his hunger couldn't convince him to return to the kitchen, no matter how tempting the sausages smelled.

Dragging himself up the remaining stairs, Draco re-entered his bedroom and pushed the door closed, hearing the satisfying 'click' of the lock. Shedding any unnecessary layers, he crawled back underneath the cool weight of the covers and shuddered as the lights lowered themselves to a dull glow.

Exhaustion washed over him within moments.

* * *

**A/N: A bit of a shorter update, but hopefully you guys like it! x**


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me. Thank you to Fanofbellaandedward for proof-reading this for me! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

A weight pressed down on the edge of the bed. It startled Draco awake, his brain still sluggish as he rolled over onto his side and rubbed a hand down over his mouth and nose, trying to get some life back into himself. The room gradually got lighter. Something heavy shifted against his shoulder. He frowned.

Cracking an eye open he was startled to see Sirius sat in a chair that had been pulled up to the side of the bed. "Don't do that," he grimaced as he shifted up on the pillows. "It's creepy."

Sirius arched an eyebrow but didn't comment. Something shifted against Draco's arm again. Glancing down, he scrambled away at the sight of baby-Potter perched against the pillows. Sirius leaned forward and adjusted the baby's position but didn't scowl at the blonde teen for his reaction. "You must be hungry," he said instead. "You didn't come back down for breakfast."

"You seemed busy," Draco stated darkly, eyeing the baby warily. "With all the yelling."

"Don't pay any mind to Remus," Sirius said. "He gets a bit of a hot temper when it's near a full-moon."

Cold dread dropped into Draco's stomach. He drew his knees against his chest and shook a little. "Just -get that thing off my bed!" He hadn't meant to sound rude, it was just all too much. He still hadn't given much thought to Potter being a child, let alone interacting with him.

Sirius complied, but not without pursing his lips. "I only put him there because he was whimpering a lot being on my lap," he intoned. Potter was settled back into his guardian's lap and scrunched his small lips up in distaste. He didn't cry though. That was always a bonus.

"I don't even know what to do -how to deal with all this." A tremor entered the blonde's voice as he tried not to focus on anything in the room. "I don't even know how mother is, I have no future prospects, no work prospects, I -I -I'm like the bottom rung of society!"

Sirius nodded but didn't interject.

"I feel -I feel like I have all this energy inside me but -but nothing can come out! I don't even have a sodding wand!"

"Doing magic doesn't always require a wand," Sirius said.

"I'm not powerful enough for anything else," Draco sneered bitterly. "Besides, they'd probably put a dampner on that too."

"Being bitter will get you nowhere, Draco. Trust me, I know that only too well."

Biting the inside of his cheek, Draco drew a blanket around his shoulders. Why was he so cold all the time? It was summer for Merlin's sake! "Why did you come here?" he asked.

"To check up on you. That's my job."

"Your job is to not kill me before society does," Draco snapped. "That's hardly a feat in itself."

"With the way you're acting right now I'd say I'm doing a good job restraining myself."

Draco glared at his new guardian but didn't rise to the bait. The weight of everything dropped onto him again and made him feel physically sick. He hadn't really eaten much in the last few weeks. His stomach growled in hunger but it just made him feel worse.

"Do you want to come down for something to eat?" Sirius asked, tenderly smoothing his hand over baby-Potter's tuft of jet-black hair. It threw Draco a little, seeing a man originally wanted for mass-murder being gentle and caring for Potter. Or maybe it was seeing a man coming from money, dressed in said money, and being affectionate was something that Draco wasn't too used to from any purebloods in the wizarding world.

Not in his world, anyway.

"I don't think I'm up to racing anyone."

"It's just me and Harry," Sirius said. "Remus left about an hour ago to put Teddy to bed."

"Teddy?"

"Your other cousin. Remus' son."

"Ah ..." Draco frowned at the windows. The sun was low in the sky, sending dull shades of dark orange over the neighbourhood. "What time is it?"

Sirius flicked his wand and muttered '_Tempus_'. "It's nearly 8PM."

"I slept all day?!"

"You've had a long few days, Draco. It'll take a while for your body to recover from the emotional exhaustion. Don't fret, you have time for all of that." Draco didn't respond. "Come downstairs. We can have something to eat, drink and talk."

"I don't want to talk."

"Fine," Sirius shrugged, scooping baby-Potter into his arms. "I'll talk. You can just eat to your hearts content."

"You're not going to leave me alone unless I come downstairs, are you?"

"No."

"Fine."

Sirius allowed him some privacy to get dressed, choosing to take Potter down into the kitchen and get him settled down. As he walked down the stairs he babbled to Potter in a very father-like fashion. An ache spasmed in Draco's chest as he threw open his trunk -he really needed to unpack -and changed into loose fitting clothes. He really was losing weight fast. He never did handle stress well. Trying to make himself look more presentable in the dresser mirror, Draco checked his teeth for debris, before deciding to face the music, so to speak, and go down to the kitchen.

Like earlier it was warmed thanks to the stove, Kreacher was already cooking and Sirius was -of all things -feeding mush into baby-Potter's mouth. Even for a baby, the git had piss-poor co-ordination. Could you call a baby a git? Well, it didn't matter, it's not like he'd understand either way.

"Come on, kid, this isn't hard!" Sirius sighed, leaning down so that he was eye-level with baby-Potter. "If you don't eat this, then I'm going to feed you to Moony! You wouldn't like that, would you?"

Baby-Potter blew a spit bubble, erupting into giggles when it popped.

Draco rolled his eyes as he came down the steps into the kitchen. "So what's for dinner?" he asked as he slid into the chair opposite Sirius and the spit-puddle.

"Whatever Kreacher decides on is usually okay," Sirius shrugged. "Plus, there'll be dessert."

Draco suppressed a groan. He hadn't had anything sweet in months!

Within five minutes, Potter had finished whatever mushy crap Sirius was feeding him and was left to play with some sort of chew-toy as Kreacher came to set the main meal on the table. Roast chicken, potatoes and vegetables. It made Draco insides cramp with want. Sirius plated for himself and then reached for Draco's plate and dished up a healthy portion for the blonde. Draco blanched a little at the amount of food, but reasoned that he probably looked a little ghostly. He took the plate and willed his stomach to accept as much food as he could manage. The last thing he needed was to only eat a quarter of it, and throw-up.

They ate in silence and almost got to the end of the main meal before Draco spoke up. "So why did Potter decide to do something so recklessly stupid -again?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows but smiled a little. "Honestly? He was upset."

"I've been upset for years, too. You don't see me doing this."

"We all handle emotional turmoil in different ways, not that this is any excuse."

Draco frowned heavily. "So then ... why a child? Why not go into a medically induced coma? Or a magical one?"

"Too risky," Sirius shrugged. "He wanted to have some level of control."

"You call shitting himself all hours of the night 'some level of control'?"

A bark of laughter made the blonde jump. "I'll grant you that. Despite what you may or may not know, his childhood wasn't the best."

"I should imagine living with muggles wasn't great," he sneered.

Sirius furrowed his brow. "Not all muggles are bad, Draco. Just like not all wizards are good. The last few years have seen to that."

"That still doesn't justify -" Potter shrieked with laughter when he threw the chew-toy and it bounced back up onto his high chair. "-That."

Sirius shot Potter an affectionate look before returning his grey gaze to Draco. "I think he just wanted to go back to a time where things were simpler for him. The original was simple but harsh; now he has a chance for simple, easy and calm. I'm more than happy to do whatever I can to help ease him through this."

Draco accepted the plate of food from Kreacher. Sirius accepted his with a tight smile before and poured himself a drink before wrinkling his nose. "You know what," he grimaced down at his goblet. "I think we need something stronger."

Draco glanced at baby Potter. He was happily grizzling in his high-chair. Sirius waved his wand and the high-chair transfigured into a play area with a high railing around it. Soft squishie things cushioned the floor and the lower edges so stop baby-Potter from cracking his head open on the tiles. Returning to the table with two glasses and a dark green glass bottle, Sirius pulled the stopper and poured two fingers in each glass of -what smelled like -firewhiskey. Draco raised his glass in silent thanks.

They drank as they ate, the conversation falling off every so often.

A pleasant, warm buzz spread through the blonde man's extremities. His mind was softening at the edges and his limbs were feeling looser. "So why did you agree to help Potter in this?" he asked, his words slurring ever-so-slightly. "What made you think he was thinking properly?"

"Believe me, Draco, I know he wasn't," Sirius stated, a dark look in his eyes as he pushed the almost-empty plate to one side. He swirled the whiskey before taking another sip. "However, I also know he didn't have an easy time of it when he was a child."

"In what way?" Draco frowned heavily. "I can't imagine he wash-wash-wasn't worshipped."

"What do you think you know of his childhood, Draco?" the older man asked. "What did the rumours say about Harry Potter's childhood?"

Ah, that was a good question.

Draco tried to sift through his memories, squeezing his eyes shut with his head tipped back. There had been tons of stories throughout his childhood about how Potter had been spoiled rotten. That by being the only wizard in a muggle household, he practically dominated the muggles and got them to do his bidding! Draco remembered been green with envy at the very thought of dominating over any adult, especially at such a young age. Blinking his eyes open, he saw Sirius gazing at him with bright grey eyes.

"Oh right ..." he licked his lips. "That he had the muggles at his mercy, that he -that he -that he did great things with his magic and terrified them all!" He let out a laugh.

Sirius huffed a smile but didn't interject.

"My father practically idolised him -he didn't even know Potter but I could never measure up!" Taking on an idiotic voice, Draco sat upright in his chair, "'Oh Draco, did you know the Great Harry Potter always eats his greens!' and 'Goodness Draco, didn't you know that Great Harry Potter never says 'no' to his elders?!' On and on that's all I heard ... Nothing was ever good enough compared to the Great Harry Sodding Potter ..."

"Is that why you resented him so much?" Sirius asked, his voice calm and soothing.

"I guess," Draco shrugged, downing the last of his drink. "It's hard not to hate someone who basically got everything right the first time he ever tried it. Sometimes I had to do things over and over before they were good enough to show anyone."

"That's nothing to feel bad about," Sirius insisted. "Do you know how long it took me to get my patronus to come out? Almost a whole year!"

Draco wasn't sure how long it usually took the average wizard to learn how to conjure a patronus, but 'almost a year' must be a long time for any sort of spell. "Well at least you can do one ..." he remarked.

"You never tried?"

"You need to have a happy memory."

"And?"

"I don't have any."

"You must have a few tucked away in there, Draco," Sirius assured, pouring another measure of firewhiskey. "It just needs to be strong enough."

Draco gave a bitter little laugh, "Can't help it if I don't have any. Pleasant memories? Of course I have those. Good memories? I have some of those, too. Great, strong, powerful memories? Memories that can ward off evil and help protect me?" There were no words -just the solemn shake of his head as he knocked back the next glass of whiskey.

"Easy there, kid."

"Just give me another."

Sirius didn't argue. "You need to look at this as a new chapter in your life. If you give up now, then you're going to have a good eighty years of regret and misery ahead of you."

"How do you think my father feels?" he sneered. "Or my mother? Even Potter couldn't handle it. Look what he's done to himself! He's a BABY!"

Sirius dropped his head into his hands and clawed his fingers through his dark curls. "I'm such an idiot for agreeing to it ... " he bemoaned. "He just made such a convincing argument for it that I could hardly say 'no'. He sh-sh-said he'd researched it ... That he knew what to do ..." A shudder ran through the older man as he hunched over the table. "He never had a father -I thought -I thought I owed it to James -t-t-to be one for him ..."

Draco blinked. He felt as though he were trapped behind glass, the world around him slightly muffled and oddly picturesque. "Why did you not have kids?" he found himself asking, his mouth feeling fluffy, like he'd just eaten burning hot cotton wool.

"Didn't have anyone at the time," Sirius shrugged. Was he pouting? "Lily and James married about a year after graduation. Within another three years they had everything; they got married, bought a house and had a baby! Then went into hiding! Then obviously there was the whole 'framed for murder' thing ..."

"Lupin likes you well enough."

Sirius snorted. "I'm surprised he's my friend at all," he stated, ruffling his curls into a messy mass on his head. "You know for the twelve years I was in Azkaban, he'd thought I was a murderer? He hadn't trusted me ... Hadn't wanted anything to do with me ..."

"How did he change his mind?"

"We had this map ..." Sirius waved his hand, at a loss for the words. "It c-c-can never lies ..."

"So ... how's that help?"

"It showed Pettigrew was alive ... Remus -Remus figured out I was inno-inno- shit -not guilty."

"He didn't want you to be guilty," Draco mumbled.

"What was that?"

Looking up, Draco leaned over on the table, his chin almost touching the wood as he stared up at his guardian. "Lupin! He d-didn't want you to be guilty! Th-that's why he forgives you."

"Maybe you're right," Sirius grinned like a dopey idiot. Amusement and something else gleamed in his glossy grey eyes, and Draco had a far-off thought that maybe, someday soon, he could have something good come out of this new chapter of his life? It'd be unlikely to happen, but there was no reason he had to settle for being a completely pathetic bastard.

Somewhere in the house a clock chimed.

Sirius leapt to his feet. "Merlin's balls! We need to go to sleep!"

Draco staggered awkwardly to his feet, "Yes, we need to do that ... Let's go to bed ..."

~0~

Sunlight poured in through the open curtains.

Draco sat bolt upright, the bright lights and sudden movements shattering through his skull. He let out a loud cry of pain as he clutched his head and dropped back onto the pillows. He tossed and turned in agony, trying to twist away from the pain to no avail. . "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he cursed to himself, as he hid under the blankets, not ready to face the blazing hot day just yet. Pressing his arms tight over his head, he shuddered violently. He didn't want to throw-up, but his stomach was whirling in turmoil.

Floorboards creaked from somewhere downstairs.

How was Sirius functioning at all after all that firewhiskey? Had they nearly finished the entire bottle? Bile tickled the back of his throat and he barely made it to the bathroom in time to vomit. Once he'd brushed the taste from his mouth, he changed into non-sweaty clothes and traipsed down into the kitchen.

"You're finally awake then?"

Draco yelped when he noticed Lupin's worn-out, scraggly appearance bent over the stove. In the centre of the kitchen, there was a play-pen like the previous evening filled with squishie things. Inside the play-pen there were two children rolling around and dribbling on teething-rings. One was obviously baby-Potter but -who was the other kid with the bright blue hair? And why did the baby have bright blue hair?

"Sit down," Lupin instructed, already carrying a plate laden with food towards the table. "You look a little unsteady."

He set the food down. Draco dropped heavily into his seat. "Thanks," he muttered, reaching gingerly for a knife and fork. "When did you get here? And how did you get in here?"

"Spare key," Lupin stated with a wry smile. "Good thing I did, too. Kreacher can only babysit a child for so long. He's old, after-all."

Draco cast a glance toward the stove, where Kreacher was perched on a footstool polishing some shoes. Guilt wriggled in his stomach. "It was an accident, I didn't mean -"

"Don't you apologise," Lupin cut across. "I doubt it was your idea to drink, anyway."

Feeling awkward, Draco decided to turn his attention to the food in front of him. Despite his stomach's initial protests, he started to eat. Lupin brought his own plate over to the table, sat down and started tucking in too. As they ate the babies grizzled and squeaked from the play-pen, clearly having the time of their lives.

"Do they need feeding?" Draco asked with a frown.

Lupin glanced over at the play-pen and beamed. "I've already fed them. They're enjoying themselves now."

Draco sat there, watching the babies squabbling, rolling around and gurgling. They seemed so carefree. It was adorable. "Are you still mad at Sirius?" he couldn't help but ask. The alcohol had stripped him of his filters. Any other reservation had been thrown-up into the toilet bowl.

"Of course I am," Lupin sighed. "Sadly, what's done is done. I can only give him a hand when he asks."

Draco snorted into his juice but said nothing.

"How are you finding things here?" Lupin asked. "Have you settled in?"

"I ... uh ... still need to unpack."

"You had all of yesterday."

The blonde bristled. "I'm aware," he replied tightly. "I've also just been through a pretty shit trial."

Turning to him, dish-towel in hand, Lupin arched a scarred eyebrow. "Draco, I go through a full moon and shatter my entire body, mentally and physically, every single month. Let's not split hairs on whose been having it harder, okay?"

"I suppose I can't argue with that."

Lupin smiled thinly. "You can try. You won't win."

Draco was keenly aware that he wasn't all that good at making a good first impression. Not even if said person was an ex-professor.

Gurgling drew his gaze down towards the play-pen. For a three-month-old baby, the blue-haired thing certainly was rolling around a lot, content to put anything in its drooling mouth. Draco grimaced a little as the brat blew a spit bubble and blinked in confusion when baby-Potter popped it with his toe as he, too, wriggled around like a tortoise stranded on its shell.

"What's your kids name?" he found himself asking.

Lupin blinked in surprise. "He's named after his grandfather. He's Edward Lupin. Teddy for short."

"Teddy," Draco murmured. "Better than 'Draco' at least."

"Remus is no better, I assure you."

"Where do you think Sirius is?"

"If I know Sirius, he's got his head bent over one of the toilets and spewing his brains out."

"Why are you always so mean to me, Remy?" Sirius' gravelly voice growled from behind Draco.

The blonde jumped a little, watching with a guarded expression as the curly-haired man slumped heavily into a chair beside Remus and dragged a plate of food towards him. His eyes were red-rimmed and he had rough shadow across his jaw. The way Lupin rolled his eyes and tried to bite back a smile told Draco that this was a more regular occurrence than he'd been led to believe. He watched as Lupin poured a mug of strong, black coffee and slid it over to Sirius before excusing himself to check on the babies.

"Eat your food and stop whining," the ex-professor bit out good-naturedly as he played with his sons' tiny fist. "You're meant to be an adult for goodness sake. Besides, what sort of adult leaves a baby unattended whilst he gets pissed with his cousin?"

"I wasn't pissed," Sirius groused. "Just tipsy."

"So much better."

"I made a mistake."

"Sirius, you cannot make a mistake when Harry is vulnerable like this. You get that, right?"

Sirius bowed his head in resignation, much like a dog being told-off for chewing on the furniture. Draco was almost certain the man's ears drooped. His insides squirmed. They both should have known better. He didn't even like Potter, but for the saviour of the wizarding world to get injured from bumping his soft-spot on something -well, that was just going to be Hell when the papers found out.

Their squabbling was interrupted by the pecking of two owls at the kitchen window.

Remus got up and opened the window, took the packages from both owls and paid them a couple of knuts each. Returning to the table, he sifted through the letters and packets that had come through. Returning to the table, he sifted through the letters and packets that had come through. Two were addressed to Sirius, there was a copy of the prophet, and a letter for Draco in his mother's delicate hand-writing. He tore it open, his chest feeling tight as he unfolded the parchment.

'_My sweet dragon,_

_I arrived in Paris yesterday afternoon and had to go through the upmost ridiculous security measures. It took me hours just to be allowed to leave the premises and be escorted to our summer estate. Honestly, you'd think I'd been the Dark Lord the way these ministry imbeciles go on._

_I have settled in, which is why I'm finally getting to write to you. I have not been appointed any form of help, so I shall have to be rather manual in my up-keep henceforth. It's going to take some adjustment, but we are resourceful people if nothing else. This is the lesser of challenges we have yet to face._

_I hope you have settled in with our cousin. He may be a strange fellow, however I cannot deny the power that he holds, nor the brains to aid himself. They may not align all the time, however he tends to do his best, from what I've gathered. I would not leave you in his care if I didn't trust him at all, Draco. Understand that._

_Tell me all about what you get up to. With very little company over here, I'm sure I'd love any news you have to share._

_All my love,_

_Mother_.'

His hands trembled as he read over the letter two more times, letting the reality of the situation hit home. It burrowed into his heart and swelled up, making him choke on air. He was aware of the two men looking at him from across the table. He drew in a deep breath, steeled himself, and forced the tears back.

"Mother's settled in," he managed to say, voice strained. "She said she's going to have to get used to cooking manually."

"It's not a bad skill to have," Lupin stated. "Growing up with muggles taught me a lot. You should've seen how this lot reacted when I showed them how to cook macaroni and cheese for the first time."

Draco felt his lip twitch a little.

"Holy Merlin's balls ..." Sirius groaned. "They've finally lost their minds."

Lupin frowned. "What's wrong now?"

"Old Moggie sent me a letter. She's stark-raving mad! People will never go for this."

Exasperated, Lupin snagged the letter out of his friend's hands and scanned the letter. His scarred eyebrows twitched upwards in surprise. "Wow. I didn't expect this from her of all people."

Draco frowned, "What's happened?"

Sirius wrinkled his nose in distaste, pushing his food around with his fork. "McGonagal has asked me to come and teach at Hogwart's. As the defence against the dark arts teacher of ALL THINGS!"

"Sirius it's not that bad," Lupin stated. "What else are you going to be doing? Besides looking after Harry?"

"Exactly. I need to be looking after Harry, not -not -not -WORKING!"

Lupin adjusted his position in his seat. "Why not talk to Minerva about this? We might be able to work something out if did decide to teach."

Sirius raked a hand through his curls. "I just don't know. Maybe it would have been good if -you know -Harry had been going back to study. He could have just shared my quarters or something, less invasive. I can't have a child at the school!"

Draco watched a muscle tick in Lupin's jaw. The cogs were clearly turning in his head. The silence stretched on leaving Draco feel on edge. "Just calm down," Lupin murmured off-handedly, "I may have a solution but I want to talk with Minerva to see if it's even possible, okay?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes. There was a hint of a Slytherin inside this man, Draco found himself thinking, arms folded tightly across his chest. He hadn't realised he'd been holding his breath until Sirius nodded and returned to his breakfast.

Lupin took the letter and left the kitchen. His footsteps echoed down the hallway towards the front parlour. Draco watched in silence, feeling very much like an outsider -an unwanted guest -as Sirius stood from the kitchen table, put the empty plates into the sink, flicked his wand for them to clean themselves, before bending down into the play-pen and swiping baby-Potter up into his arms. Teddy was sleeping calmly in the little soft nest area.

"Why do you not want to teach?" Draco asked, simply to shatter the silence. If there was silence, then his thoughts could manifest and he didn't want to let that happen.

"It's not my idea of how to spend my free time," Sirius remarked as he got some mushed-food ready for Potter.

"At least it'd keep you occupied. Most teacher's only stayed a year, remember?"

"That was because they all, in some way or another, had a dark affiliation. Normally with Voldemort."

Draco flinched at the name. Echoes of his aunt's mad cackling, the sound of bodies dropping to the floor -it left him feeling hollow and shattered.

Sirius watched him carefully. "You ever think about going back to school? Finishing your seventh year?"

"Didn't really think beyond the trial," Draco admitted.

"Do you think you might want?"

Draco chewed on the inside of his cheek before sighing and shaking his head. "Somehow I don't think anyone will appreciate my presence there."

"That's not really for them to decide," Sirius said pragmatically. "You can ask Minerva and if she says it's okay, then everyone else can just deal with it."

Regarding the older man with a glare, Draco said, "With all due respect, Sirius, I know what shit I got up to at school. I'm sure you did some unsavoury stuff too. The way those gits deal with it, it will hardly be humane."

Sirius snorted as baby-Potter tried to take the spoon for himself. "That may be true, but if I were to take up the position, then you'd have somewhere safer to go."

Draco snorted. "It barely helped when Severus was there, I doubt you could do much better."

"Well old Snivellus always did like to play both sides of the coin." Draco furrowed his brow. Sirius ignored the look and went back to feeding Potter. Apparently, Potter's body may have shrunk, but his appetite hadn't. "Besides, like you said, it'll give you a year to focus on something else and figure out what you want to do next with yourself."

He had a point. Draco loathed having his own words echoed back to him. However -he glanced down at the letter from his mother -it would probably make his mother proud. To continue studying, to push himself forward and try to have a second chance at life. It'd also give him something interesting to report back to her every week. Malfoy's, for all their faults, were a proud family. Draco didn't want to be the weak-link again, to have the name and pride die on his shoulders. He needed to be stronger than that.

Could he do it, though?

"Maybe it's something to think about," the blonde finally said, folding his own letter up and tucking it into his pocket.

Baby-Potter burped then giggled in agreement.

* * *

**A/N: Well I hope you guys like this update! I'm being nice and updating on my birthday so yey for everyone! :D x**


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me. Thank you to Fanofbellaandedward for proof-reading this for me! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

'_What do I want to do? What do I want to do? What do I want to do?_'

The thought chased itself around Draco's skull as he looked out across the back garden. It was odd to see a back-garden in somewhere like Islington, however it was a long stretch of green grass and would probably make a much welcome hang-out spot in the summer holidays. Provided you had friends to enjoy it with. However, Draco wasn't in the mood to go and bask in the sunshine. It was cooler indoors anyway.

Out in the garden, Lupin had laid out a seating area under a large umbrella. He had Teddy cradled against his chest, the little thing sleeping calmly. Today his hair was a bright, cherry-red. Draco still found it weird, but didn't want to comment on Lupin's offspring. He'd been living at Grimmauld place for just over a week and was almost relaxed about Lupin's casual coming's and going's. He had a key -Draco didn't have a key.

There had been a full-moon four days ago.

Draco had been on edge and tense the entire time. He had been stuck babysitting with Sirius for three nights in a row. That meant they'd been stuck with two babies as opposed to just Potter. That had made him especially uncomfortable; he hadn't been around babies since he was one, and didn't really know how to cope with it all.

Sirius had so much more experience thanks to looking after Potter when he'd originally been a child. It had been strange observing nappy-changing and preparing the milk and food. The man insisted on doing most things the muggle way, although there were a few things he simply had to wave his wand for; like vanishing the dirty nappy.

Despite Sirius' assurance that Lupin was safely locked outside and guarded in the back-garden, Draco was less convinced. He refused to even look out of the back windows as he was doing now, choosing to remain locked into the front parlour with two gurgling brats.

Lupin looked a little rough around the edges but he seemed to slip back into 'being human' a lot easier than anyone Draco had ever seen -and those were generally human all year round. As Lupin stroked his palm over his son's head, Draco couldn't help but feel a twinge inside him. A sharp laugh drew his gaze further down the garden. Sirius was spinning baby-Potter around in circles, pulling him close to make silly faces, and then spinning him out at arm's length again.

It looked fun.

"Draco why don't you come out for some lemonade and sunshine?" Remus' voice made Draco flinch as the older man slid in through the ornate black doors that led out onto the patio. Teddy gurgled against his father's shoulder as he turned his wide, amber eyes to look at Draco.

"I'm er ... feeling too hot. I'd rather stay in h-here."

Lupin frowned. "Draco, I'm perfectly fine. I don't bite."

Shit, he saw right through the blonde.

Draco drew himself up straighter and turned his nose up a little. "I'm not worried about _that_ Lupin. I just don't want to intrude on this weird little family you two have made."

Lupin cocked an eyebrow at that. "Draco, Sirius is your guardian now. He signed the papers. You're as much family as I am."

"Only by blood."

"So what?" Lupin gave a tired smile. "Right now we have the ability to choose our family. Sirius could have easily said 'no' to your mother and to Kingsley. However, he chose to take you in. He wants you here, whether you see that or not."

Draco bristled.

"I just don't feel comfortable being here."

"If you give it a chance, Draco, you might find that you like it here well enough." Teddy's hair flashed brilliant blue and Lupin frowned. "Oh, you little monster!" he scowled down at the baby who suckled his fist obliviously. "Sorry Draco I need to change my son _again_."

As he disappeared down the hallway, Draco was left to look out into the garden. His body hummed with the energy to go outside and join in the fun. However ... fears gripped him from every angle and glued him to the spot. '_Just go outside and sit down and have a drink_,' his brain urged. _'There's nothing wrong with that. You can't mess _that _up_.'

Shifting one foot in front of the other he forced himself to step outside.

It was hot; the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing caused his skin to flare with a prickly heat that made him want to scratch until his skin came off in spiralled peels.

"Draco?" His head snapped up. "Grab a drink and come over here!"

Draco frowned heavily at the ploy, but didn't outright refuse. He took his time pouring himself a drink and taking a sip before stepping out into the blazing sunshine and across the grass. "Did you need me for something?" he asked stiffly, as he stood a few feet away from Sirius and baby-Potter.

"No, no," Sirius grinned. "I just don't like the idea of you keeping yourself cooped away." Draco pulled a face but didn't say anything else. "Go grab that blanket from one of the chairs, I want Harry to try crawling."

"Is he old enough for that?" Draco asked dubiously.

"His ageing is different from Teddy's due to the potion. There's no harm in trying."

"Far too optimistic," Draco grumbled to himself as he turned away and walked back to the patio, snagged the tartan blanket strewn over one of the chairs and went back into the sun. Sirius had him spread the blanket on the grass and then settled down on one side, baby-Potter already scrambling in his hands. Draco knelt down awkwardly on the opposite side, still not sure what Sirius expected him to do.

Sirius sat with his legs spread in a wide 'V' shape -a surprising feat in his pressed trousers -holding Harry up from under his arms. Baby-Potter's chubby little legs kicked and tip-toed on the spot, large green eyes darting all over the place. He beamed toothlessly up at Draco when those big eyes landed on him.

Draco grimaced.

Sirius dropped a kiss onto Harry's head and settled him on his hands and knees. He looked like a sack of flour with googly eyes stuck on. Draco felt as though he'd get as much common-sense out of adult Potter in any case.

"Are you ready?" Sirius asked as Harry bobbed forward several times, looking as though he was ready to speed-crawl across London. Draco tensed; what if the little git managed to make it across the blanket? What would he do with him then?

Crouching down on his knees Draco was tense, ready for the challenge of NOT letting Potter smack his stupid scarhead on the floor. The dumb baby bounced awkwardly in Sirius' hands, gurgling away and getting ready to move -only to sink onto his face the instant his guardian let go. Draco almost chuckled a little at the baby's antics. Sirius scooped the child up and cradled him, pecking a prickly kiss on the kid's cheek. "It's alright, kid, you'll get it in no time."

"How old was he when he first crawled?"

Sirius chuckled again. "About ten months."

"Is that ... Good?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Baby-Potter babbled some nonsense, his tiny fist plucking at the blanket.

Lupin came back out and carried Teddy over to the blanketed area. He frowned as sat down. "Sirius he won't be able to crawl for another two weeks at least. Don't rush him."

"Oh hush Remus," Sirius chided. "He'll turn one before I know it. I don't want to miss anything!"

Lupin rolled his eyes and settled Teddy up against his legs. The baby would have flopped over if the ex-professor hadn't held him quickly under the arms. "I'm not even going to pull at that thread, Paddy. Now, are you capable of caring for two infants?"

"Of course I am. Wait ... why?"

"I need Draco's help to prepare lunch for us."

Draco's head snapped up at the statement and before he could object, Lupin had handed his son to Sirius and whilst watching the curly-haired juggle two brats was funny, Draco felt his stomach sink like a cold weight inside him as Lupin gestured for him to follow. He did as he was told, slinking back towards the house and following the older man into the kitchen.

"Why did you need me to come and help you?" Draco asked as he rolled his sleeves up and stood next to the counter. He looked at the number of ingredients laid out and felt dread. Was this ... their lunch?

"I didn't," Lupin said as he drew out a long, sharp knife. Draco flinched away, eyes wide. Lupin lowered the knife onto the counter and squeezed a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Calm down, we're just making some food."

Draco swallowed thickly and nodded.

"Now I want you to take the other knife and start chopping up those vegetables."

Draco took the knife and felt it tremble in his hand. Suddenly his hand was drenched in blood -not his, but someone's. He dropped the knife with a sharp clattering sound. Granite tiles changed instantly to the wood work-top and the rough floors were now smooth terracotta. There was no blood. It was all in his head.

_'Breathe_,' he urged himself, _'just breathe!_'

"Draco?" Why was Lupin's voice so far away? "Draco, look at me."

A hand came into view and gently took the knife away. The relief was surreal. A shiver ran through him as he was steered towards a chair at the table and lowered onto the seat. Lupin came into view. "Now I want you to take some deep breaths, okay, and listen to my voice." Draco nodded. "Tell me what you saw?"

"Blood ..." he said in a quivering voice. "So much blood ..."

"It's okay, it's not happening."

"I know," he choked out. "I know, I know. It's just ... it comes up sometimes ... that's all ..."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Draco." The blonde scoffed. "Trust me, I've done my fair share of awful things that haunt me."

Draco went rigid as he Lupin pulled him in for a hug. His arms were tight and secure yet somehow it didn't make Draco want to run away. He felt his head burn up, tears stinging in his eyes as he quaked on his chair. Something inside him cracked and something hot and wet raced down his cheek, followed by another, then another ...

"Hey it's okay!" Lupin caught him as he slid sideways to the edge of the chair. "I've got you, I've got you!" He grasped Draco tightly, holding him securely before easing him back against the chair, making sure that he was stable as he rubbed the teen's back. Draco clutched at Lupin's shirt, aware that his tears were staining the fabric. He choked on air, the emotions of the last few months finally breaking free.

"S-sorry ..." he choked.

"There's no need to be sorry," Lupin assured. "You've been through a lot, we all have."

"Y-you all s-seem to be han-handling it better ..."

"Maybe you've just reached your limit."

Draco didn't bother replying. He _had_ had to deal with a lot of crap. However, as already stated, so had everyone else. His tolerance for it just seemed to be lower than the rest of the population -at least that's how it felt. As the tears subsided, Draco was aware that Lupin was still holding him. He stiffened at the realisation. The older man seemed to sense this and let go, letting himself sink back into the vacant chair.

"Do you feel better?" he asked.

Draco nodded mutely.

"Good. Do you want to go back outside?"

Shooting a glance over at the kitchen counter, the teen twisted his lips. "Don't you need help with getting everything ready?"

Lupin gave him an understanding smile. "It's okay, I think I can manage."

~0~

It was a still, hot night and Draco couldn't sleep.

He'd retired to his room at about 9PM.

He'd tried to do some reading but his mind wouldn't focus. His hands were aching and restless but other than touch himself, he didn't have anything else to do. His mind kept racing back to what he'd do if Sirius did take that professor position. What would he do with himself? Would the man have to floo into work everyday? What would Draco do during the days? Learn to cook the muggle way? That was an accident waiting to happen.

He sighed warily.

Floorboards creaked a little somewhere in the house.

It wasn't as upsetting as it used to be. There was a bead of comfort in knowing that he wasn't alone. It hadn't been there the previous week -but it was growing behind all that fear. He pulled the cool sheets over his chest and sighed wearily. It had been a long week filled with listlessness and milling from room to room just to try and occupy his mind. There had been a few things that had piqued his interest, however he still wasn't one hundred percent invested in learning things 'the muggle way' -as stubborn as the thought was. He hadn't even managed to write back to his mother yet. He simply hadn't had anything to say.

Soft noises came from down the hallway.

Feeling curious as well as restless, Draco clawed his sheet away and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Tiptoeing out of his room he strained his ears in the darkness, his own heart drumming a little louder. He could hear a soft voice from down the hall. There was a faint light coming from underneath one of the doors. Potter's nursery. Edging along the door -trying not to step on any creaky boards -Draco crept closer. The door was ajar, letting soft gold light spill out into the dark hallway. Sirius' voice almost made him jump, but it was barely a whisper in the quiet darkness.

"And these are your parents. Now I know you don't remember them, really, but this is your Mummy Lily and this is your Daddy James."

Draco felt his heart twist in his chest. Potter's parents. He hadn't even known their names. Shame flooded through him as he leaned heavily on the wall as he realised the magnitude of that thought. _He hadn't even known their names_. It was a harrowing thought.

"Now who's this goofy sod pulling those faces?" Sirius asked. The brat bubbled. "Yes, that's me, your daft old godfather. Now who's the moody one?" Another gurgle. "You're right! That's Uncle Remy!"

Draco's insides clenched.

"Now who's that snotty little thing there?" Sirius chuckled. "No, that can't be you can it? Harry you were such a litte rugrat."

There was silence for a few moments. Draco was just debating on dragging himself back to bed when -

"You can stop hovering and just come in, Draco."

Freezing against the wall, Draco felt sick, before resigning himself to his fate. Pushing the door open he had the decency to look sheepish as he edged just inside the nursery. "How did you know I was there?"

Sirius tapped the side of his nose without looking up. "I can smell you."

"Ew."

Rolling his eyes, Sirius beckoned the teen over. "I'm an animagus, kid. My sense of smell and hearing are better than most human's these days. Now pull up a chair."

Casting a glance around the room, Draco located a small stool and dragged it closer towards the rocking chair that Sirius was leaning back in. He felt ridiculous being barely elbow-level with the older man, but he held his tongue. Craning his neck a little he saw that Sirius was leafing through a thick, leather-bound photo album. Sirius smiled and clicked his fingers, causing the stool to spring a little higher. Draco grumbled his disapproval at non-verbal magic but didn't argue. He was too curious to care.

"What made you want to look through these?" he asked as Sirius turned the page.

"Harry was grumbling a little and was awake, so I thought this might calm him down."

"Is it working?"

Sirius glanced down at the baby snuggled in the crook of his arm, his large green eyes drooping a little. "Seems to be on the way."

Draco lets his eyes wonder back down to the photo. It was of two lean, dark-haired young men standing side-by-side in their 'sunday best' as mother would have described it. Draco frowned. "Who are those two?"

"That's me and my ... brother."

"You have a brother?"

"Had," Sirius bit out. "He died. Killed, rather."

Before Draco could ask about it, the older man swiftly turned the page to display a photo of a young Remus in a hospital bed. He had bandages all over him and was grinning weakly at the camera as Sirius' overly large head appeared before he dropped back onto the bed and hugged Remus.

"Why was Lupin in hospital?"

"He'd had a rough full moon and it was right before his birthday so I snuck in to cheer him up."

The next photo was of a couple in wedding attire, laughing merrily whilst Sirius and Remus grinned and toasted them. They looked happy. Draco couldn't remember his own parents having any sort of wedding photos. They had rather formal, stiff, poised photos. It was ... different. Baby-Potter yawned and nudged his chubby fists against his eyes, his lips wobbling in defeat. He was ready to sleep.

"That's enough for one night, then," Sirius whispered with a smile. He closed the book and managed to set it to one side whilst scooping Harry up in his arms. "Come on then, rugrat, let's get you into bed."

Draco suddenly felt out of place.

Sirius seemed to sense this because he beckoned Draco over to the cot. "Do you want to settle him down?" he asked.

The teen baulked at the idea. "You -you can't be serious?"

"I am. Always. Literally since birth."

It took Draco a moment to clock on. "That was just ... abysmal," he grimaced.

Sirius chuckled, "Come on, hold your hands out. You'll be fine, I promise."

"W-what if I drop him?"

"I'm amazed you care," Sirius quipped, "but for the record, I trust that you won't."

That hit a nerve. There was trembling in his right hand he could feel it. "I -uh -I don't know."

"Hold your hands out."

Draco wanted to refuse, he did, however his arms seemed to rise up of their own accord. Satisfied, Sirius held Harry out and tenderly shifted him into Draco's hands. The blonde didn't know what to do; did he cradle the brat? Did he hold him out-stretched like a quaffle? He was currently doing the latter when Sirius chuckled. "You've never held a baby before, I'm guessing?"

"Of course not!"

"Calm down, kid, I'm only teasing." Taking a squirming Harry again, Sirius adjusted the position and Draco resigned himself to his fate and cradled Harry bloody Potter. "There you go," Sirius smiled softly. "You're a natural."

Draco shot the older man a disbelieving look. He knew the Sirius was just pandering to him, however he didn't argue. It felt stiff and awkward holding the baby however those large green eyes seemed to droop instantly as though Potter was relaxed enough to sleep. Within moments the little thing was snoozing against his chest, completely oblivious to the fact that his school rival was gently swaying him a little, ensuring that he was as comfortable as he could be against two bony arms.

A chuckle came from the side of the room, making Draco jump.

"Shit I forgot you were there!" he hissed as Sirius grinned as him. "It looks like he's asleep."

Sirius nodded, "Yes it does. I told you, you could do it."

Draco rolled his eyes, a little distressed by the emptiness he felt when Potter was taken out of his arms and settled down into his cot. He watched the brat as Sirius set up a weird spinning thing over the cot and backed them out of the nursery. "I should probably head to bed," Draco said softly, not wanting to disturb Potter. The last thing he needed was a wailing baby in the middle of the night.

"If you have any more trouble sleeping and want to talk, you know where my room is," Sirius whispered, "I don't mind talking. Most nights it takes me ages to get to sleep so if you need company ..."

"Thanks," Draco said. He hoped he sounded sincere because he meant it. He was sure he did. "I think I just need to try and sleep now," he said, feeling both on edge and exhausted.

Sirius nodded. "Well you know where I am."

"Yeah ... Thanks."

They parted ways on the landing.

Draco listened with his ear against the door until he heard the distant 'click' of Sirius closing his own bedroom down further down the hall. He breathed a sigh of relief. Dragging his feet back to the bed, he settled down and drew the sheets over himself. He hadn't even been able to keep any of his photo albums -he could only hope that his mother kept them in her vault. The last thing he needed was his baby photos publicised in the papers.

However ... Potter had looked especially soft and squishie as a child. No wonder Voldemort was embarrassed at being defeated by someone who couldn't even wipe his own arse. The thought made him smile weakly as he reclined back on his pillows and stretched his tight muscles. He had about a month and two weeks to decide what exactly he wanted to do, and if Sirius did take the job at Hogwarts, he needed to either go back for his final year and get his qualifications, or be assigned a new guardian.

The thought was daunting.

Despite being there just over a week, the ice with Sirius and Lupin was gradually thawing. He was grateful for that and would definitely tell his mother about it first thing in the morning.

_'Just carry-on ignoring the fact that scar-head is in a nappy right now,_' his brain chided. '_You were never good at ignoring him before, why do you think it's easier now?_'

"Well he can't answer back for one," he murmured into the dimly lit room.

_'Yet_,' his brain countered. _'He can't answer back yet. Just wait until he starts ageing, then he can be as irritating to you as he was before_.'

"Fuck!"

There was no way around it. As soon as Potter started ageing per month, as the potion claimed it would do depending on how Sirius stabilised it, then it would mean that every month Potter would age a whole year. On the one hand, it meant having a birthday party every month which was never a bad thing for Draco's sweet-tooth. However, on the other hand, it meant that Potter would start remembering all the bad shit that happened before and during the war. It meant arguments and hostility and Draco knew he wasn't ready to deal with hearing what would come out of the saviours mouth.

It would be cruel, it would be callous and it would be one hundred percent true.

No ... He knew what was coming, and it broke what little shards of a heart he had left.

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**A/N: I hope this chapter was worth the wait and that the insight into Draco's situation is more grounded? Let me know what you think! Thanks for the birthday wishes! X**


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me. Thank you to Fanofbellaandedward for proof-reading this for me! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

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**Chapter Five**

It took Draco another week before he had completely unpacked everything he'd been able to carry with him from the manor.

He had written his mother back, carefully leaving out the part about Potter being the world's soggiest brat in the process. The last thing he needed was for the Ministry to assume he had been the one to de-age the idiot and send him off to Azkaban. He was a little envious when she had reported that she was growing accustomed already to using a muggle stove. Draco had steadfastly ignored any sort of progress on his part, choosing to either avoid the kitchen until he was called down for a meal, or making sure he was nose-deep in whatever he found in his cousin's library.

However, he knew he couldn't avoid it forever.

There were so many muggle contraptions in the damned house. He knew that, sooner or later, he was going to break something of value without even realising it. Like that evil black thing in the front parlour that had strange moving pictures in it. It reminded Draco of a pensive, but some of the things didn't make sense. What the hell was a McDonald's anyway? And why were people loving it so much?

Other parts of living at Grimmauld place weren't too bad. Sirius was of course busy with baby-Potter, a fact that Draco still found himself uneasy about. After his realisation that Potter would one day grow up again and remember all their fights, Draco had ensured that he interacted as little as possible with the stink-bucket. For now, it worked. Potter was a baby and could barely crawl let alone chase Draco down. The problems would start in a few months when more memories came back to him.

He was not looking forward to that.

The weather was growing gradually hotter outside as the summer intensified. It would have been around this time of year that Draco could go swimming in the pool at the manor within hours of getting off the train at Kings Cross. Here, there was no such luxury. Sirius had spent the morning blowing air into some weird, blue rubbery thing and then filled it with a shallow level of water. He'd sloshed around in it with Potter, earning excitable squeals from the lump, before he'd gotten too tired.

It was one a particularly hot afternoon that Sirius found Draco in the front parlous, lounging in an armchair and doing some casual reading about magical creatures of all things. He'd spent all day keeping away from the windows, not wanting to be in direct sunlight. He was wearing some of his usual, pressed attire but it was becoming unbearable in the heat. The fabric did not breathe against his skin and it left his lungs feeling too hot to sustain air. Sirius cleared his throat, causing Draco to flinch.

"I wondered where you were hiding," he said.

"Well you found me," Draco snipped, closing the book with a glare at his cousin.

Sirius gave him a once-over and frowned. "Are you comfortable in that? What you're wearing?"

Draco glanced down at himself. It was true his black slacks and white pressed shirt weren't the most casual of clothing, however anything else he owned that wasn't winter-wear, was still just as thick as his current outfit. He bristled with humiliation. He should be used to that sting by now.

"Do you want us to go into town and find you something easier to wear?"

"I don't need any hand-outs," he sneered, opening his book back and bowing his head.

"This is hardly a hand-out," Sirius said. "Even I had to change out of my usual clothes today." He paused for a moment, choosing his next words carefully. "It'll only get worse as the summer progresses."

"Thanks but I don't really think a shopping trip is going to cheer me up," Draco sneered bitterly.

"It's hardly a shopping spree," Sirius said. "Just something more weather-appropriate."

"I'm fine as I am."

Even as he said those words the prickly hit rushed over his chest and down his back in a sickly wave. He closed his eyes for a moment and waited for the nausea to subside before refocusing on the words before him.

"Come on," his cousin urged. "Look, let's just grab you some jeans and a few t-shirts. Something loose. You'll feel better."

Draco sighed and rubbed at his temples. He was getting a migraine. "Fine," he sighed, "Whatever gets you to stop whining at me. However, I want you to be aware that I'm doing this under protest."

"Duly noted," Sirius intoned. "Now, get yourself ready. As soon as I get Harry dressed, we can head out!"

As the door to the parlour swung shut, Draco groaned. Why did Potter have to come? Then he kicked himself. The little snot-monster was barely a year old yet, there was no way he could be left alone. Draco did not enjoy the idea of being stuck in a hot, sweaty muggle shop with a bawling brat and his manic cousin. It was a recipe for disaster.

However, a plan had been made and he had no power to sway the matter in his favour.

Resigning himself to his fate, he plucked at the fabric sticking to his skin and wondered out into the hallway to put his shoes on and make himself look presentable. If there were any reporter's from the Daily Prophet about to stalk him around London, then at the very least he didn't want to look too dishevelled and le them think that the world had beaten him at last. Sirius came down the stairs within five minutes, wearing a t-shirt and weird blue trousers instead of his usual collared attired and pressed trousers. Draco wrinkled his nose but bit his tongue. Potter was strapped to his cousins' chest with a weird contraption, a little yellow sunhat sitting neatly on his head.

"Ready?" Sirius asked, slipping his feet into the most hideous, white rubber shoes Draco had ever seen, and pocketing his wand and keys.

"Yes," he bit out.

"Don't be like that," the older man chided. "You'll feel better I promise."

"And if I don't?"

"Then I won't put you in the oven."

Draco blinked at the statement and grumbled. "You know, threatening me with muggle objects will stop working one day."

"Not any time soon if you keep moping around with your books!" Sirius called as he hopped briskly down the steps to the pavement. Draco hesitated before stepping out into the sunlight and pulling the heavy door shut behind him. Charms hummed through the wood, locking and bolting it from the inside. Envy stirred in his gut. He missed being able to do magic. Following Sirius' lead, Draco descended the concrete steps, pausing only briefly before stepping down onto the pavement. He felt the wards shudder as he left the safety of the house. Glancing back over his shoulder, he was both unsurprised and disappointed at losing sight of Number Twelve. He knew it was still there … but still. It left him feeling hollow.

He hastened to catch up with Sirius.

The sun baked him alive through the thick fibres of his sleek white shirt. He felt illuminated, letting all wizards around London know where he was. He was a walking target. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He kept pace with Sirius as much as he could. "So where are we going?" he groused, clasping his hand behind his back.

"We're going into London. We only need a few things for you for now."

The answer was especially vague and irked Draco. He held his tongue. Every time he shot Sirius a look, his eyes would catch on Potter's chubby little face half-hidden under the yellow sun-hat. He was fast sleep right now.

Sirius marched him through numerous streets. They were long, baking in the hot sun and as they moved through them, Draco became aware of more muggles cluttering up the walkway. There was so much tan skin exposed; dark flowing hair, large sunglasses hiding half their faces, and large, bulging bags that looked as though they were about to burst open on the road. Draco felt hot and irritable as tall buildings with glass fronts came into view. Stationary mannequins appeared on display in numerous outfits.

To his utter horror, Sirius took a sharp left into one of the shops.

Draco cast a look up at the sign above the door, the sun in his eyes, and grimaced before reluctantly following inside. The wave of cool air was refreshing as it hit him out of nowhere. He whipped around trying to find the source and failing. He froze in place, a bead of sweat racing down the side of his face.

"Draco?"

He spun around to face Sirius. He swallowed thickly. "S-sorry."

"Just wondered where you'd gone," Sirius motioned for him to follow him towards a sterile white staircase. The sign next to the foot of the stairs read 'MENS' with an arrow pointing up. Sirius waited for him as he mounted the steps. He curled an arm under Potter's chubby little legs and cocked his head to the side. The mannequins were smooth, white, blank figures on podiums. It made Draco feel so uneasy he could barely focus on the clothes until he walked into a rack.

His cheeks heated up.

Sirius smirked but didn't say anything. "So what colours do you like?" he asked instead.

"What?" the blonde frowned.

"To wear," Sirius said. "No offense to you, kid, you can't go around wearing black in the level of heat we're going to get."

"What're you, a seer now?"

"No, I watch the news."

"The what?"

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "I'll show you later. For now; we need to pick you out some clothes."

Draco picked at the closest thing to him and wrinkled his nose. "The fabric is so _cheap_!"

"It's thin, which is good for the hot weather," Sirius replied in a neutral tone. "Come on. I'm not doing this all myself."

With a sigh, Draco resigned himself to his fate. He leafed through all the basic tops and tees, feeling his insides cramp with discomfort at the cheap fabric, the gaudy designs and the hideous styles. He wouldn't be caught dead in any of this muggle rubbish. However, he couldn't just make his clothes bearable with a cooling charm, and neither Sirius nor Remus had volunteered. As he browsed through rack to rack, he came across a single faded green t-shirt that had a graphic outline of a snake striking with its fangs extended. Reluctantly, he plucked the hanger up, along with a blue t-shirt with a similar design of a Chinese dragon on it, before craning his neck up to see where Sirius had gotten to.

Unsurprisingly, he'd wandered over to the baby section.

Draco grimaced, his skin feeling hot and itchy in his current attire, as he walked across the glossy white floor to where Sirius was leafing through the pint-sized outfits. As he drew closer he could hear Sirius talking to the brat as he wriggled in the holster strapped to Black's chest.

"Harry you need to choose; blue bunnies or green dinosaurs?"

Whatever Potter did in response, it made the older man chuckle and hang one of the outfits back on the miniature rack.

"Bunnies it is." As he turned, Sirius' eyes landed on Draco. "Ah, there you are. Have you picked some things out?"

Draco indicated the two shirts with a bored expression.

"Great. I grabbed some shorts and cut-off's for you and a few vests, in case we go out somewhere hotter than here."

Draco cocked an eyebrow but didn't comment on the absurdity of the idea.

"Let's get you a changing room so you can try it on."

"W-what?" Draco blanched. "Why do I need to do that here?"

"So we can see what fits you before we buy it?"

"They don't just take your measurements and get the size that fits?"

Sirius had a bemused expression on his face. "No, Draco, they don't. Just try these on. If they don't fit you, let me know and I'll get you a different size."

Draco frowned. Sirius motioned for him to turn and head towards the changing rooms. It felt like he was walking towards his doom. The last time he'd felt so much dread was when his father had called him down because the Dark Lord had wanted his attendance at a meeting during his fifth summer in Hogwarts. A chill ran down his spine, he saw black spots and the heat rushed over him, boiling his blood and making his ears ring.

His foot slipped on the glossed floor and the air rushed past him. He had a moment of panic before something hard gripped his arm. Sirius shot him a concerned look, not the infuriating displeasure he was so used to from his father. Eyes darting around, Draco tried to see how many people had witnessed his idiocy.

No one … No one had noticed.

No one was looking at them, noticed them.

It was like being invisible. For the first time in his life, Draco was close to tears with relief. Not that he'd shed them in public. Drawing in a deep breath, he shook Sirius' grip off his arm, took the items from his cousin and marched the rest of the way towards the changing rooms. He was glad there was a sign directing him otherwise he would've gotten lost.

"How many items?" the bored-looking girl asked at the small counter.

He frowned at her, sweat smeared across his skin. For a moment his mind went blank before she gestured at the items in his arms. "F-five?"

She snatched a coloured tag off the counter and handed it to him. "Men's are down the end and to the left."

Draco barely processed the directions before her attention was dragged elsewhere. If he hadn't been so humiliated at his own foolishness, he would have snapped at her sheer graceless appearance and rude manners. However, he was not in the mood. Swallowing his pride, he stalked down and to the left as instructed.

He found an empty cubicle and went inside, drawing the blue velour curtain shut behind him.

Now that he had a moment alone, he let the emotions wash through him. He huddled over on the narrow seat, his insides cramping as he dropped his head into his hands. What was he doing here in a muggle shop of all places? He needed to be amongst his own kind! He needed other wizards and magic, owls that dropped off letters and his mother asking if he'd like to join her for afternoon tea on the veranda.

This … This was a nightmare.

Choking back against the lump in his throat, he cuffed at his eyes and drew in some long breaths before steeling himself. The mirror glared back at him with red-rimmed eyes and bright pink blotches on his cheek and neck from the heat. There was a cool breeze coming from somewhere in the changing rooms. Forcing himself to his feet, Draco unfastened the buttons of his shirt and trousers and gingerly stepped out of them, folding them and setting them aside on the hard bench.

Standing in a cotton vest and boxer-shorts, he winced at his reflection; it was clear he hadn't eaten properly in months, his knees had always been a little too knobbly for his liking, and his hips and collar bones protruded a little too much. Pursing his lips, he stepped into the shorts and pulled one of the t-shirts on over his head.  
He grimaced at his reflection; the fabric felt almost as cheap as it was and –despite not fully understanding muggle-money –it was clear that they over-charged for some of this rubbish. With a sigh, he reached for the next item. Within twenty minutes he was sweating profusely from pulling various items in various fabrics on over his head. That was it, he'd tried them all on and had settled on four of said five. That should shut his cousin up for the time being.

Stepping out of the changing rooms, handing the number tag and rejected item back to the snooty girl, Draco grimaced at the grin on Sirius' face as he bounced Potter in the chest-harness. "What're you grinning at?" he snapped.

"Just wondered what took you so long."

"Whatever," Draco sneered. "Where and how do I pay for this shit?"

"Relax, I'll do it. Why don't you go and wait outside?"

"No thanks," the blonde muttered, falling into step alongside his cousin as they went up to a large white desk.

Sirius handed the items over the counter and the guy behind it used some strange white tool to shine a red light on each price tag. The total flashed in green numbers on a small screen that was eye-level. When the total flashed up as £22.97, Draco had barely started working out the conversion to galleons, before Sirius thrust a bag against his chest and said a loud 'thank you!' to the person who had served them.

.

Back out on the street, Draco swept the damp hair from his face and glowered at the crowds milling by. He clutched the slippery bag in one hand, his knuckles flashing white as Sirius teased the baby snot-rag.

"So where're we going now?" Draco bit out, forcing Sirius' attention back to him for a moment. "I don't fancy getting sunburned just because you have the attention space of a gnat."

"Charming as ever," Sirius commented. "How about a bookshop. That's easy enough, isn't it?"

Draco shot his cousin a glare.

"Of course, none of the books will hand themselves to you, but they won't bite you either so … it's a win-win in some cases." Without another word, Sirius led the way towards a large bookstore. Draco didn't even bother reading the name of the shop, it wouldn't mean anything to him anyway. The air was cool, smelling of paper and ink. It had an instant calming effect on Draco as his eyes landed on the numerous shelves. Sirius nudged him forward and his feet did the rest.

He found himself wandering over to the 'Fantasy' section, intrigued by what muggles termed 'fantasy' in general, and also by how overly designed their bookcovers seemed to be. Unlike in most magical bookshops, their covers didn't move but then he'd expected that. What he hadn't expected was that their covers would be so … graphic. Feeling disturbed at being so intrigued, he bent down so that he could scan the spines. One or two books he'd pluck out, reading the back of it –really? Did muggles need to read a summary of the books they bought? –and examined the covers; some were wildly exaggerated like ones by that Prachett guy, whilst others had awful summaries and even worse cover designs like that 'Twilight' nonsense; why would he read a book about a guy who liked apples and liked blood?

He'd read scarier rhymes when he'd been an infant.

Eventually, Sirius came looking for him. Potter was starting to fuss so clearly that meant it was time to go back to Grimmauld Place. Draco felt his insides twist at the thought; he loathed to admit that he'd liked spending time in the unusually quiet book shop, simply taking his time and not making a total prat of himself. He sighed; the summer was barely beginning. There would be more than enough time to go back to the bookstore if he really wanted to.

.

Once back at the house, the wards activating as soon as they'd stepped through, Sirius flicked his wand at the door. A series of locks slid into place, flooding Draco with the realisation that he was a prisoner in this house, regardless of how he was told to view it. His palm started to sweat again from where he gripped the bag with his new, muggle clothes inside.

Vanishing the chest harness, Sirius balanced baby Potter against his hip before turning to Draco. "Why don't you go up and have a shower, hm? Then change into some fresh clothes, whilst I give Harry some lunch."

Draco nodded mutely.

"Then, if you fancy it, Kreacher can make us something to eat as well."

"Um … I'm not feeling too hungry," Draco averted his gaze. He felt emotionally exhausted and barely had the energy to stand upright as he did, let alone forced down food and make conversation at the same time. "I might just take a nap. Too much sun."

It was lame; so transparent that he knew Sirius didn't believe the words as they tumbled out. However, the older man didn't argue or berate him for his bullshit. He simply adjusted his grip on Potter, who was currently trying to eat his own fist with no teeth, and inclined his head. "Very well," Sirius said. "You know where I am if you need anything later, then."

"I do." He startd to ascend the stairs but stopped halfway to the landing. There was a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like his mother snapping at him for forgetting his manners. Gripping the banister, he cleared his throat and said, "Thank you, Sirius. For taking me out today."

Sirius looked up at him, bemused, but gave a tight smile in return. "It's okay, Draco. Try and get some rest. I might have Remus and Teddy over for dinner tonight, so you're welcome to join."

A rejection was on the tip of his tongue, however he stopped himself. Swallowing past his pride Draco simply replied, "I'll think about it. If I feel better I may join you."

"Suit yourself," was Sirius' final word as he turned to go into the kitchen. Potter's wide green eyes peeked over Sirius' shoulder up at the blonde before the door swung closed between them.

Draco stared at the closed door for a while before reanimating and climbing the rest of the way towards one of the bathrooms. He needed to wash the day and humiliation off of him if he was going to attempt to face his cousin again. As the hot shower hit his naked body, Draco shuddered at the thought that one day, a very grown-up Potter would come to him and laugh at him for having nearly fainted in a muggle clothes shop.

He grit his teeth and ducked his head under the stream of water.

He needed to get out of this situation, and fast.

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**A/N: Who loves baby Harry yet? x**


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me. Thank you to Fanofbellaandedward for proof-reading this for me! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

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**Chapter Six**

The end of July had them celebrating Potter's 'first' birthday.

Somehow Draco had gotten dragged into helping prepare –a notion he found completely abhorrent. This was one of the things Potter definitely wouldn't remember. Other than from photos, how many people truly recounted their first sodding birthday? Still, the blonde was instructed to clean some of the downstairs rooms manually as well as set-up the table. There was no telling who exactly was going to show up to the sham this event was, however Draco had to concede that it would have been foolish for his cousin NOT to tell anyone else about Potter's current predicament.

Then again, Sirius was a reckless man. There was no telling what he would or wouldn't do.

With a sigh, Draco sank into one of the kitchen chairs, grimacing at the sickeningly 'cute' décor he'd been forced to string-up. Lots of brightly coloured balloons and streamers clung to any high surface and the table had a freshly laundered cloth spread over it, with paper plates –who the hell invented _those_? –and weird bendy white utensils. Muggles were a strange, _ugly_ breed. Yet, when Sirius came down from changing Potter _again_, he had a pleased look on his face.

Draco grumbled as his cousin clapped his on the shoulder. He shrugged the hand off, not wanting to be thanked for such rubbish. He didn't even know who else was coming to this thing, other than Remus and his own little snot-bucket. Judging by the number of plates and the size of the cake being kept in the pantry, he could only imagine it was going to be more than ten people.

The thought made a prickly heat rush over his skin.

He told himself it was his starched shirt. He'd dressed in his usual attire as a manner of principle. Just because he couldn't do magic didn't mean he was going to surrender and wear the muggle tat Sirius had bought for him. Still, he unfastened the top button and fanned himself a little when his cousin had his back turned.

"Are you going to join us when everyone else is down here?" Sirius asked as he spoon-fed Potter some sort of orange mush from a jar.

Draco grimaced as Potter dribbled it down his front. Wrinkling his nose he shook his head. "I don't know who else is coming but I think it'd be best for me to keep out of everyone's way."

"Draco, there's no time like the present to start making a good impression."

Letting out a mirthless laugh, Draco stood up from his seat. "The only reason no one would feel physically threatened by me, is because the Prophet had a field day saying that I could not use any magic whilst under house-arrest. I'd rather take my chances bathing that little mandrake before facing whatever cretins you've invited."

Sirius rolled his eyes at the use of language from the blonde teen. He was angry, hot and restless. Like a cage animal, he'd lash out at anything even if it was someone offering a good meal and companionship. "I'd have thought anyone with your sweet-tooth would have loved to dig-into the chocolate cake I bought."

"I can have chocolate sodding cake whenever I damn well please!" he sneered. "I don't have to celebrate Potty's birthday to do that!"

Sirius sighed and scooped up some carrot-goo from Potter's chin. "Well no one else is going to arrive until 2pm. Why don't you go to your room and cool off for a bit? You must be dying in that outfit."

Draco glowered at the man currently wearing thin slacks and a loose fitting shirt. He did look cooler than Draco felt but he wasn't about to admit to that. "Whatever," he said. Turning on his heel he left the kitchen.

As he mounted the stairs, he stretched his arms above his head and worked the kinks out before kicking his bedroom door open. Nothing had really changed in here, except for the single photo of him ad his parents that he kept on the nightstand. Guests would arrive in a few hours. That meant he had just enough time to get some reprieve from this heat, if only for a little while. Unfastening his shirt, he clawed it off over his head and sighed in relief as cooler air drifted over him.

His slacks came off next.

Standing in just his underwear, Draco spun in a slow circle, his eyes fixed on the mirror at the other end of the room. Nope, still skin and bone and just as pale. He didn't know what he expected to see, but the reality always seemed to make him catch his breath. Swallowing thickly, his gut grumbled at the thought of that large, chocolate cake just waiting to be eaten. Then a wave of nausea rushed down his throat and made his insides squirm.

Probably best to avoid that.

Climbing up onto the bed, Draco felt the hairs all over his body stand up at the coolness of the cotton. Rolling over onto his back he stretched out, knots loosening in his joints as he flexed his fingers and toes, staring up at the dark ceiling over his head. This room never seemed to get much light, which was a blessing considering how hot the rest of the house was.

He soon fell asleep in the cool room, not caring if he ever woke up again, let alone for Saint Potter's birthday.

~0~

Sirius wiped Harry's chin and dropped a kiss onto the sleek cap of black hair. It was hard to believe that when he grew up, it would still be the same wild mess as before. Not that he minded. He'd missed so much of Harry's experiences growing-up that even arguing over a decent haircut was going to seem like pure magic to him. He sighed, wishing that the timing of his current state of affairs was better organised. Handling Harry was one thing, but Draco was something he wasn't sure how to handle. He did his best, taking as much advice from Remus as the man was willing to give, but there was only so much other people could offer.

"What're we going to do with that boy, eh?" he asked as he lifted Harry out of his high-chair.

The baby blew a raspberry, his chubby little legs kicking in the air.

Sirius chuckled, cradling the alert baby to his chest. The last few weeks had been so surreal to him. Despite how ill-prepared Remus thought he was, he'd managed to handle Harry quite well before Draco had come into the picture. He'd figured out how to change a nappy with only two mishaps and he'd watched Lily prepare Harry's bottle for feeding all those years ago. The rest he'd admittedly had to wing-it, however so far there had been no problems caring for Harry.

Draco on the other hand.

He was in a state of denial. It was almost like he expected to wake up each morning in Malfoy Manor again. The rest of his day seemed to go downhill from there.

Glancing over at the calendar, Sirius felt a weight settle in his chest. A few more days and he'd need to take Draco to his first counselling session. He'd asked to postpone it to allow Draco some time to adjust to being in a new living environment, however their leniency had only pushed the ordeal back a month. Something tickled at the back of his mind; therapy would no doubt have been a miracle after he'd escaped from Azkaban. He'd barely had time to breathe before the Second War came about. He was lucky that he still had Remus by his side.

_Oh, Remus._

The man was too lenient, too caring and too easy on Sirius –far easier than he actually deserved. He had done some stupid things in his time –granted escaping from Azakaban was still the top of the list –however allowing Harry to de-age himself was coming a close second.

Bouncing Harry in his arms, he stroked his thumb over the pudgy cheek and cast a glance around the kitchen. Despite himself, and Draco's lack of magic, the kitchen did look cheery enough to resemble a child's birthday. He needed to make a point of thanking the blonde teen as soon as the last guest left.

Harry grizzled against his chest.

"Oh alright you bubbly little thing," Sirius grinned. "Let's get you dressed and all handsome for when everyone arrives!"

He carried the infant up to the little nursery room he'd made out of one of the spare rooms next to his own bedchamber. He thought it best not to mention to Draco that he was currently sleeping in Harry's old room. Settling Harry on the changing table, he flicked his wand and three of the finest little baby outfits levitated out of the nearby drawer and hovered in the air. Harry chirruped with laughter, clapping his little hands as he tried to reach for the clothes.

Sirius chuckled, "Well which one do you prefer? Dragons? Unicorns? Or pygmy puffs?"

Harry gurgled.

"Pygmy puffs? Really?" Sirius frowned. When Harry wriggled with delight, the man chuckled. "Alright, you're the boss, kid. Pygmy puffs it is!"

Within forty minutes the cavalry had arrived.

That meant Remus, Teddy, Andromeda –who was not entirely approving of their situation –and Molly and Arthur Weasley, even though he didn't entirely approve of the woman's parenting style. The kitchen was adorned with fairy-lights twinkling everywhere and the table was laden with food. Harry was settled in the highchair, gleefully clapping and grabbing at the colourful robes people were wearing and the gifts presented in-front of him.

Draco remained in his room.

It seemed easier that way, so that they could get the party over and done with by the time he awoke from his nap.

Once Harry had eaten his food, Sirius extracted him from the high-chair and bounced him on his lap. Remus was next to him and saw that the man had a slightly awkward grip on the infant in his hands. He reached out and placed a comforting hand on Sirius' wrist. The smile shot his way made him flush a little. He readjusted his grip on Teddy nestled comfortably in his lap.

Molly came over and settled down in the chair beside Sirius. Remus watched as his friend tensed up, his jaw setting a little tighter as the ginger woman reached out for Harry. "Sirius, I still can't understand what the point of all this is," she stated.

"Birthday's are meant to be celebrated, Molly," he replied. There was a bite in his voice as Harry was taken from his lap and positioned on Molly's plump one. Wooly flowers were suddenly surrounding Harry as he leaned back against her bossom.

"I didn't mean the birthday, Sirius. I think this is incredibly ridiculous. You need to write to someone at the Ministry and just explain what happened so that they can make Harry the right age again."

"Molly let's not discuss this here okay," Remus cautioned.

"Well why not? We're all here. We can talk some sense into the man."

Sirius bristled, his fingers tightening into fists.

If there was one thing Sirius hated more than anything, was being told that he wasn't good enough. He'd fought in the war, he'd seen his entire life end in the span of a single night, and he'd spent twelve years believing that all those whom he'd loved dearly, thought him a murderer.

He was more than sane. He was the most rational he'd even been in his adult life. He was taking this seriously; why could no one trust him?

Molly didn't seem to notice the change in his demeanour, however Remus and Andromeda did. Swooping into the situation in a mass of brunette curls, Andromeda announced loudly that it was time for the birthday cake. Sirius released a breath under his nose as Andromeda stealthily shifted Harry back into his high chair. Flicking her wand, she levitated the cake from the counter and slowly coaxed it over to float in front of Harry. Arthur dimmed the lights and Sirius knelt down beside Harry so that they were almost cheek-to-cheek.

"Ready kid?" he grinned as Harry gnawed on his chubby little fist.

Altogether, they started singing 'Happy Birthday'. Harry, of course, had no idea what was going on but he was more than happy to stare around as the grown-ups chimed his name.

"Time to blow out the candles!" Sirius gave the baby a tickle under his chin. Harry squealed excitedly.

Sirius and Remus helped to blow out the candles.

Harry blew a spit bubble.

Everyone applauded with adoring laughter, even Molly.

Sirius had been there for Harry's original first birthday. This time around there were a few more people, some newer faces, however Harry still looked as happy as he had been the first time around. He couldn't wait to get the photos developed tomorrow, once all the decorations were tidied away.

~0~

Draco awoke to the sound of crying.

It was faint and if he hadn't woken up to go to the bathroom he wouldn't have heard it at all.

Swerving away from the bathroom door, he made his way down the hallway, the boards creaking a little as he walked. The door to Potter's nursery was ajar and he could hear Sirius' gruff voice, tired from sleep, trying to soothe the brat back to sleep. Folding his arms against his chest, Draco leaned back against the wall beside the doorframe, listening as Sirius paced in the room.

Was he trying to rock Potter back to sleep?

It couldn't be that late, not really. The sky seemed to only just be darkening outside the landing window. It could only be 9PM the latest. Why was Potter still awake?

That's when it clicked.

Potter had just turned one. That meant that he'd be ageing another year over-night. By the sounds of it, it was just as pad as re-growing one's bones with skele-grow. Draco shuddered at the thought. He did not envy the brat.

"_Come on, kiddo, I know it's painful but you just need to relax_."

Sneaking a peak through the gap in the door, Draco watched as the older man rubbed his face, trying to stay awake long enough to get Potter settled. As he watched the red-faced infant whimper and drool onto his godfather's arm, Draco couldn't help but feel a twinge of envy. There had been many memories from his parents that consisted of him being left to his own devices, to squawl into the night for hours on end. Self-soothing, it was called. Bullshit was a more preferable term.

Merlin, was he really jealous of Potter as a _baby_?

Rubbing the back of his neck, he let out a soft sigh. He needed to get back to bed, despite having slept the entire afternoon away. He felt a little guilty at having missed the party completely, however with the people who had been invited, he knew he wouldn't have been welcome.

Even though one of them was his own aunt.

He didn't notice that Potter had settled down until the nursery door swung open. Sirius stopped short when he saw Draco standing there. They stared at each other for a moment before Sirius raised a finger to his lips and pulled the door to. The hallway was in total darkness for a while until Sirius flicked his wand. The small, pearly-blue light stung Draco's eyes. He had only just adjusted to the eerie glow before realising that Sirius was already making his way down into the kitchen. He had no choice but to follow.

Once in the kitchen, Sirius illuminated the low-hanging light and set about pouring two glasses of chilled milk and honey. Setting the glasses on the table, Draco shot the older man an inquisitive look at the chosen beverage.

"It settles the mind," Sirius stated, his voice rough and dry.

"Rough night?" Draco asked.

The older man sighed. "It really shouldn't have been. The party went well, Harry didn't fuss too much and I got through the entire evening without strangling Molly Weasley."

"A feat in itself," Draco remarked.

"Hmmm," Sirius hummed, shooting his cousin a glance. "They all left before 7pm. Poor thing fell straight to sleep. He's been tossing and turning for the last few hours, I was just too tired to notice." Leaning forward, head in his hands he groaned. "I'm such a shit father-figure."

Draco blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. He shifted awkwardly in his seat. "I … I don't think you've been doing a bad job."

Sirius gave a dry laugh. "Whatever you say, kid."

"Honestly," Draco continued. "You've definitely improved since I first arrived. At least you don't drink when the brat's awake. That's something."

Sirius scoffed. "Shouldn't be drinking at all."

"Well … I'm sure even your parents drank at some point when you were little."

They lapsed into silence.

Draco hugged his arms around himself.

"There's still some cake in the pantry if you fancy a piece of it," Sirius mumbled. It almost sounded like he was talking just to fill the silence.

The blonde teen sipped at his milk, decided he liked it, and continued to drink.

"I'm going to have to sort out a reply for old Moggie in the morning," he groaned. "I am not looking forward to that conversation."

"Moggie?"

"McGonagall. She's a cat. Get it?"

Draco rolled his eyes and focused on his drink.

"Have you thought about your therapy session at all?"

That shocked a response out of him. Spluttering, he wiped his mouth on a napkin and glowered up through his blonde fringe. "The only reason I'm going to talk about mental issues that do not exist, is because the Ministry has stated it's part of my parole. That's all. Don't think I'm about to come back with a renewed outlook on the world."

Sirius shot him a wry smile. "I wouldn't dream of it. However, your first appointment is this Thursday. I'll be escorting you."

"Who's going to handle the snot-bucket?"

"Remus has kindly offered to look after Harry since this is a 'special circumstance'. He's also made it very clear it will not be a regular thing, so you'd better get used to being around messy things that scream too loud."

"I lived with Pansy in the Slytherin dorms for six years. I think I can handle Potter."

"We'll see about that."

The smirk Sirius wore as he eyed Draco over their glasses of milk, was enough to make the blonde's blood freeze in his veins. That look was something he had only seen on two other people's face before in his entire life. Usually, when they wore that sort of mischievous grin, it meant there was going to be a lot of drama, a lot of screaming and no doubt something to do with loud, colourful explosives.

Whatever Sirius had in mind, it did not bode well for Draco.

* * *

**A/N: *cue dramatic music!***

**So what do we thing Sirius is going to make Draco do?!**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me. Thank you to Fanofbellaandedward for proof-reading this for me! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**_Chapter Seven_**

.

Draco was up and ready by half six in the morning. He hadn't slept too well, not with his impending therapy lesson hanging over his head. He felt irritable as he sat at the kitchen table, straining his ears for the first sign that his cousin was awake. He could hear Potter grizzling away without a care in the world. He'd had a single, harrowing moment, where he actually thought that Potter had the right idea in de-aging himself.

It was a good thing he was going to see a therapist.

He was worried that he was going to have someone who slipped under the radar and wasn't a 'neutral party' as he'd been assured they were.

Remus came through the floo in the front parlour. The noise was so sudden it made Draco leap out of his chair, sweat breaking out over his flushed skin. As soon as he saw that it was Remus, his heart settled down, although he still felt wound tighter that a spring.

"You wouldn't have an iced tea would you?" Remus asked, rubbing a hand down his face. "I thought I was going to be late."

"No, it's fine," Draco stated, his jaw tense. "I don't even know if Sirius is awake yet."

Remus rolled his eyes as he went over to the fridge and poured himself an iced tea. "Would you like one?" he asked, his hand hovering over a second glass. Draco was about to refuse, however the blooming heat of the day suddenly rendered him parched. He swallowed drily and gave a stiff nod.

"Thanks," he said as Remus handed him the glass.

He cast a sideways glance at the amber-eyed man and couldn't help but think that, if it wasn't for his sheer shabbiness and the scars, he'd be an attractive man. The thought made his insides twist violently. The taste of the tea was suddenly acrid on his tongue.

Footsteps thundered down the stairs, a welcome distraction.

"Look who's here, Harry! It's Uncle Moony!" Sirius exclaimed as he threw open the kitchen door, bouncing the baby in his arms.

Draco looked up at his cousin and barely suppressed a sneer. Today he'd dressed in pressed slacks and a beige shirt with a caramel brocade waistcoat over the top. The suggestion of a pocket-watch chain glinted in his pocket. Potter, for his part, was dressed in a pair of berry red dungarees and a bright blue t-shirt. The dungarees has a little fuzzy snitch embroidered on the front pocket.

"I didn't think you two were awake yet," Remus stated as he took a drink from his glass. He looked especially muggle in a pair of threadbare jeans fastened with a shabby leather belt. He had a striped shirt on underneath a thin knit cardigan.

"Why are you too so dressed up?" Draco croaked. "It's one of the hottest summer's we've ever had and you two are wearing _layers_!"

Remus and Sirius shared a bemused look at his outburst. Remus reached out and took Harry from his guardian, easily balancing him on his hip and pulling faces to make the silly brat laugh. Sirius slid into the chair adjacent to Draco and levelled his gaze on him.

"You know if you ever get uncomfortable with the heat, Draco, you can ask either one of us to put a cooling charm on you."

Draco felt his cheeks flush an uglier shade of pink. "I just don't understand why you'd walk around dressed like that at all!" he gestured at his cousin's clothes. "Aren't we going to have to walk through muggle London?"

"A little, yes."

"So what's wrong with those weird clothes you bought me the other week?"

"If you feel better in those, you can wear whatever you like. I'm only wearing this because I needed to go to the bank afterwards and those goblins get very funny when someone walks in wearing denim."

Draco averted his gaze, humiliation staining his ears red.

Truthfully, the basic cotton t-shirts and cut-off 'jeans' did feel better to wear than his stiff slacks and high collared shirts. Especially considering the heat was getting worse and worse.

"When is your appointment today?" Remus asked conversationally.

"At midday," Draco grumbled.

"We'd best be making a move, Remy," Sirius stated, standing up from the table. "Are you sure you'll be okay with Harry?"

Remus shot his friend a deadpan look before rolling his eyes. "Yes, sir Padfoot, I do think I can manage to _not_ kill an infant."

Sirius grinned, "Excellent. Hopefully we'll be back by 2 o'clock the latest."

"Send a patronus if you're running late."

"Will do!"

Draco offered Remus a tight-lipped expression as he followed his cousin out of the kitchen. In the entrance hall there was a side-table beside the elephant-foot umbrella stand. On the table there was a single, battered coin purse. The threads spiralled out of the seams like spiders legs. Just looking at it made Draco's skin crawl.

"Right, the portkey is set to activate in two minutes," Sirius said as he patted down his pockets. "I'm sure I have everything I need. I may pop to the bank whilst you're in your session if you don't mind?"

Draco shook his head. "That sounds better than waiting for me to finish."

Sirius frowned. "Are you okay, Draco? You seem edgier than usual."

There was so many things, oh so many things, that Draco wanted to say was wrong.

He didn't want to sit in a room with a stranger for an hour.

He didn't want to tell said stranger anything about his failings, his time during the war and his non-existent plans for the future.

He didn't want to tell a stranger anything about his family.

Or his old friends.

Or Potter.

Instead, he just stared straight ahead and murmured, "I'm fine."

If Sirius was about to say something else, he didn't get a chance. The portkey vibrated as it activated in his palm. Draco reached out and grabbed it. With a sickly tug on his navel, they disappeared from Grimmauld place with a 'pop'.

~0~

The office was brightly lit with the sun filtering in through the large windows. It reminded him of the French balcony windows that were in their summer villa in France. The villa his mother was currently staying at.

Sat on the beige, leather sofa, Draco eyed as much of the room as possible without actively moving his head. He was hunched over, hands clasped together in his lap. The therapist –Lisa, because she insisted on being called by their first names –sat patiently across from him in a matching armchair. She was in her late thirties at least and looked as though she wouldn't even know what magic smelled like. Yet, according to Sirius, she was a pureblood. He didn't know of any pureblood's that used such a common name for their children, but it wasn't his place to question it.

She hadn't said a word.

They'd been sat like that for the better part of fifteen minutes.

If she wasn't going to start asking questions, what was the point of him even being here?

"How are you finding living with your cousin?"

The question startled Draco. He hadn't been expecting her to break the silence at all, however she wasn't being paid just to sit there and watch him brood. They stared at one another, but when it became apparent that she wasn't going to elaborate on her questioning, Draco sighed.

"It's … interesting."

"In what way?"

"He seems to have a strange way of getting through the days."

"You mean his personality isn't the sort that you're used to?" He nodded. "Is that generally, or from someone who is meant to be 'older and wiser'?"

Again, Draco fell silent.

He wasn't sure on the answer to that question. He knew Sirius had had a very troublesome past, some that most still couldn't disconnect from the man before their very eyes. Yes, in some ways being surrounded by Dementor's for thirteen odd years had driven his mentality into regions barely any man could comprehend, however he had fared better than most. Of course, he had his bad days. Draco could only imagine they weren't as prominent as when Potter had being his normal age.

He bit down on his bottom lip in thought. What would happen if Sirius had a manic episode? Or if he went into a depressive state like Draco had been upon first arriving at Grimmauld place?

Who would look after Potter then?

Remus wouldn't be able to cope with two children under his feet all day, least of all at a full moon.

"Draco?"

He looked up at the woman sitting across from him. His shoulder's stiffened at being caught worrying. Forcing himself to sit a little straighter, he glared straight up into the doctor's eyes and bit out, "Living with my cousin is fine. We each have our ways and are getting used to one another. That's it."

She noted something down. Draco couldn't tell what it was.

"Has he taken you into muggle London yet?"

"Once," Draco said. "I didn't like it."

"Really? Why not?"

"They're muggles," he curled his lip in distaste. "They're so primitive."

Cocking an eyebrow at him, Lisa leaned back in her chair. "Is that really the attitude you should be having, Draco? Right now your magic is restricted so surely that makes you realise how easy wizards have it?"

"Yes," he snapped. "That doesn't mean I like it."

"Your cousin was disowned at the age of sixteen by his own family. He lived with his best friend and was often out and about in muggle London."

"Great," Draco drawled. "And?"

"He learned to appreciate that they have things harder than we do. He still uses his own magic, doesn't he?"

"Exclusively."

"So what harm was done?"

"That he has adapted muggle _things_ in his house that look … odd."

"Learning about them will make them seem less daunting," Lisa placated.

Draco rolled his eyes.

"I feel as though this time is a good learning curve for you," she went on. "Learn from the mistakes that brought you to this point."

"I didn't make mistakes!" he snapped, blood rushing to his head.

Lisa fixed him with a cool stare. "Are you honestly telling me that all the decisions you made that led up to the war and through it, are ones that you're proud of?"

He clenched his jaw and fists tightly, the flesh flashing white against the strain.

"No," he ground out. "I am not proud of what I did. What I was made to do. I live with that guilt burning through me every day."

"I'm almost surprised you're admitting to it during our first session."

"What's the point in lying?" he sneered. "Everyone knows what I did regardless of the motives. I've heard what they say about me."

"It makes you angry, doesn't it?"

"Yes."

"And how do you think your cousin will react if you have an emotional outburst because of your anger?" Lisa asked, her eyes sharp behind her glasses. "Do you think he'd beat it out of you? Torture you?"

Draco snorted. "He's a Gryffindor. He wouldn't."

"He was arrest for murdering twelve people, Draco. Clearly some people deemed him capable. I daresay his years in Azkaban haven't helped his triggers."

A muscle ticked in Draco's jaw. Was that true? Was his cousin balancing on the precipice of insanity, with a baby-sized-Potter in toe?

A chirruping sound broke the silence.

"I'm afraid that's all we have time for today," Lisa smiled, uncrossing her legs and setting her quill on the table. "I'm impressed. You're a hard one to crack, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco didn't know what to do or say to that comment. Her smile was even worse. Shifting to the edge of his seat he cast his eyes down towards his lap and asked, "May I leave now?"

"Of course. I'll see you next week."

He didn't reply.

He just left the room.

True to his word, Sirius was outside waiting for him, having already completed his errands in the hour Draco had been in session. He must have sensed that Draco didn't wish to speak, so they merely exited the building, side-by-side, and took the portkey back to Grimmauld place.

~0~

Sirius opened the door and allowed Draco to head inside first. The blonde teen hadn't spoken at all since he'd been picked up from his therapy session. Sirius wanted to ask, like any rational concerned adult, however the tightness of Draco's jaw made it clear that he was in no mood to talk.

He watched the kid hurry up the stairs, his shoulders hunched and his face downcast. His bedroom door slammed shut within moments of him vanishing from view.

Sirius sighed and ran a hand down his face.

He was just heading into the kitchen when the roar of the floo in the front lounge made him tense. He knew he was being foolish, but he couldn't help himself. Years of training himself to react to the slightest whisper, always put him on high alert.

Remus noticed his expression as soon as he came out into the hallway, Teddy strapped to his chest and Harry asleep in a muggle-styled carrier. "What's with the face?" he asked, keeping his voice low so that he didn't wake the children.

Sirius sighed, letting his shoulders sag. "I really want to make a joke about moody teenagers but … I think the therapy hit him a little harder than he expected."

"Ah, I see." Remus cast a look up the staircase. "I wouldn't worry too much. He probably just needs to take some time."

"Hmmm."

"Tea?"

"Right, sorry. I'll make us some. Would you mind settling the kids in the playpen?"

"They're sleeping, Padfoot."

"You can transfigure into a cot just by sneezing and you know it."

Remus rolled his eyes but smirked smugly as he followed the brunette man down into the kitchen. It was pleasantly cool compared to the sticky heat outside. Remus was already only wearing a loose button down shirt and linen slacks. Whilst Sirius busied himself making some iced tea, Remus flicked his wand at the playpen and transfigured it into a cot. Settling both infants inside and making sure they were comfortable and dry before he, too, sank down into a chair and dropped his head back with a sigh.

"So how did therapy go?" he asked as soon as he was handed a blissfully cool drink.

Sirius shrugged, hunched over the table. "It went, as far as I know. He didn't say a word the whole way home."

"Does that worry you?"

"A little. I'd prefer to know what the kid's thinking. After all, we've just come out of a war. Some of us for the second time," he shot his friend a pointed look. "I'd rather no one have any mishaps because no one knew how to help."

"You mean like how I thought you'd killed all those muggles?"

Sirius choked on his tea. He turned bewildered eyes to his friend, who calmly sipped at the frosty drink. "How can you say it so casually?"

"If it weren't for the map, Sirius, _our_ map –I don't know if I'd have believed you otherwise."

Sirius ground his teeth together but allowed the matter to drop. Truthfully, he would have blindly believed anyone –even Pettigrew –if they'd said they'd been innocent. Remus wasn't as trusting as that. He'd had a whole lifetime of not being trusted for his condition, so it made him naturally cautious around others.

It still stung a little, though.

A hand rested on his forearm. Remus' eyes were concerned and open as he offered a smile. "I'm glad I was wrong," he said.

Sirius grasped the hand on his arm and squeezed it. He looked up into his best friend's eyes and couldn't deny how easy it felt, talking about such hard topics with one of the only people he trusted in the world. He don't know if it was the mixture of hot and cold air in the house or if Remus was just a magnetic human being, but Sirius saw rather than felt that he was leaning closer.

_TAP! TAP! TAP!_

"Fuck!" he hissed, nails digging into Remus' hand. He stood up so fast the chair clattered. "Fuck these fucking owls!" he cursed.

"Yes … Fuck the owls," Remus echoed as he drew his hand back and rubbed the small pink marks away. Quirking an eyebrow at Sirius' silence he asked, "Who's it from?"

"Old Moggie," Sirius murmured, still reading the letter. The owl hadn't bothered to wait for a reply.

"What does Minerva want?"

"She's offering us a contract."

"Us?" Remus frowned, standing up to read the letter. Sirius let him take it, leaning back against the cool stone counter as he waited. Remus frowned a little as he mouthed the words on the letter. "Well this certainly complicates matters," he said once he'd reached the end.

"Yes it does. We both have children, Remus. There's no way we can both teach!"

"Perhaps, if we were to both take positions, we should have our offices linked to the floo network here. That way on our free period's one of us can come back and help Draco take care of the children."

"What if Draco doesn't want to do that?" Sirius countered. "Not to mention he has therapy session's once a week. And what if he wants to study and complete his final year?"

"We'll have to discuss it with him, obviously."

"I don't see how this is going to work."

Remus raked a hand through his hair. It didn't sound like the most feasible plan. There were too many practicality issues that would be unavoidable. "We're going to have to tell her about Harry," he finally said.

"Nooo!" Sirius groaned. "What'll that do?"

"It'll show her the predicament that we're in. That we'll either need a schedule arranged in a certain way, or that only one of accepts the position."

Sirius glowered at his friend. "I'm not going to be the one telling her."

"Oh yes you are!" Remus retorted. "You're the one who let Harry get himself into this mess, so you can fix it with 'Old Moggie' and make it work."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Why do you always have to be right?"

"Because I'm good at it. Now, go and firecall Minerva before you lose your edge."

Sirius barred his teeth but stalked out of the kitchen regardless. Remus smirked to himself when he heard the front lounge door slam closed.

A hesitant knock came at the door.

Remus frowned over his glass of ice tea. "Yes?"

Draco peered around the door frame, looking stiff and awkward. Muggle clothes really were a strange look on him. "I heard a door slam," he offered lamely. "I haven't cause an argument with Sirius have I?"

Remus' eyebrows shot up. He shook his head, "No, no. He's just talking to Minerva about a possible teaching job."

"She offered him one?"

"Both of us actually."

Draco frowned as he went over to the counter and poured himself some iced tea. Manually. The very muscles seemed to scream in protest as he brought the glass over to the table and sat down. "How is that going to work?" he asked. "Between you two and the brats?"

"That's what they're figuring out," Remus said,

Draco hummed. He toyed with his glass before taking a small sip.

Remus watched the teenager for a little while. His skin looked sallow, like he'd avoided daylight as much as physically possible. He had so much potential. Even when he was thirteen he'd been almost too ambitious for his own good. He hadn't been able to produce a patronus, either, a fact that Remus found rather upsetting. Perhaps he'd just missed it?

"Draco, have you ever thought about redoing your seventh year?" he asked.

The blonde head snapped up. Grey eyes narrowed. "No. Why?"

"It just seems a waste that you have all this free time on your hands. You may not be able to do the magic, but you could easily pass the written exams and master the theory behind it all."

Draco huffed. "No thanks. I know what they'd all say about me. I'd be an outcast."

Remus inclined his head. "True, but you wouldn't have to be ashamed of anything. You've been cleared of most charges, you're doing some time for it and I don't see why your future should be hindered by your past."

He shook his head, "No offence, Lupin, but I'm a sitting target. I can't do magic. No one's going to forget I'm a Death Eater."

"Were."

"What?"

"You _were_ a Death Eater. You no longer _are_. You barely were to begin with."

Draco bristled, though he wasn't sure why. "I don't think it's a good idea right now."

Remus nodded in understanding. "What if I were to teach you privately?"

Draco scoffed. "You're going to teach, help look after two kids and try to teach me in your mythical free time? I don't think so."

Remus was about to argue when the door swung open.

Sirius stepped down into the kitchen and raised his eyebrows in a questioning manner. "Am I interrupting?"

"No."

"No."

"Right. Well, I just spoke with Minerva about our situation and she still wants both of us to teach. So much so that she's reconfiguring the timetables so we can both teach Defence Against the Dark Arts on rotation. She said to see how things go and then after Christmas we can evaluate things."

Remus sighed, letting the information sink in. "What about not living at the castle? Did she agree to link our offices to here?"

Sirius nodded, "She did, but she did also offer a private chamber as well in case we got too caught up with work and needed to stay the night."

"I doubt that'll be necessary, but I won't complain."

"So, are we agreed? She said she wants our answers by next Monday the latest."

"I'll have to think about it and see how Andromeda feels about it all. I'm sure she'd be happy to pop in and look after Harry and Teddy, if we needed her to."

Turning to Draco, Sirius clapped him on the shoulder and asked, "What about you, Draco? How do you feel about all this? I know it's a bit sudden considering that you've only just settled in here, but you wouldn't need to come to the castle unless it was an emergency."

"What sort of emergency?"

"I don't know –in case Harry ate some soap or something."

"I'd hurry to you as soon as Potter started farting bubbles."

Remus bit back a smile, "Sirius, I think we all just need to weigh up the pros and cons. We can discuss it later on, perhaps over dinner or something. You can't ask Draco to make this agreement on a whim."

"Do whatever you want," the blonde teen shrugged as he downed the last of his tea. "Don't let me hold you two back from getting on with your lives."

"Draco, this is to be a new start for all of us," Remus said, placating him.

Draco was already mounting the stairs out of the kitchen as he huffed, "Obviously."

Sirius sighed as soon as he was sure Draco was out of earshot. Both men sank back down into their chairs as Teddy grizzled in his sleep. "What are we going to do with that boy?" Remus asked, staring at the doorway as though willing the teenager to reappear.

"Just give him some time," Sirius said. "He'll come around."

* * *

**A/N: Draco really does like to bottle it all up, doesn't he? What do we think of Dr. Lisa? x**


	9. Chapter 8: August

**A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me. Thank you to Fanofbellaandedward for proof-reading this for me! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**_Chapter Eight_**

**_~ August ~_**

.

.

Harry turned two during the first week of August.

In order to celebrate that, and to officially kick-off the summer as a family, Sirius and Remus made the decision to go to the seaside for the weekend. They invited Draco to come along with them, even stating that they can get permission granted for him to go from his parole officer, however the blonde scrunched his nose up. He didn't understand what the hype was to go to the seaside. He'd never been a fan of such things. An unbearably muggle thing, in his opinion.

Remus and Sirius had rolled their eyes at one another and proceeded to pack whatever they may need in a trunk to take to a small, sleep town on the coast.

It was the Thursday before everyone else was due to leave for their 'long weekend' –another ridiculous muggle thing –when Draco had to reason that perhaps a change of scenery would do him good, on a mental level. Not to mention, days upon days of being cramped up in the musty old house with the hot sun baking the walls and setting cobwebs on fire wasn't doing him any favours.

Not that he'd admit it to anyone, but he'd _never_ actually gone to the beach before.

He stood at the foot of his bed, arms crossed tightly over his chest. His skin was clammy to the touch and his head felt hot. He was staring down at his own drawers, their meagre innards taunting him. He didn't even really own anything similar to what he'd seen Sirius packing the day before.

What ever _were_ shorts?

He felt itchy, as though he wanted to run and beg to go along with them, but couldn't find the words.

There was no way he'd get permission from his parole officer granted within a day, anyway. They claimed to need at least a weeks notice before he ventured off anywhere for longer than a second.

Was he just being paranoid? It wouldn't really hurt him to ask, would it?

In the end, he sighed and made his way down to the kitchen for lunch.

Since the weather was getting increasingly stifling, lunch usually consisted of cold cuts of meat in sandwiches and patatoe salad, as well as anything else that could be served room temperature, or colder. Draco munched idly through his food, not really tasting anything and feeling the hairs all over his body, prickle in anticipation. Toddler Potter sat across from him in a booster seat, ladling creamy mush into his pumpkin juice. Now that the thing could run head first into things and babble utter nonsense, Draco was beginning to loathe the brat even more. It was one thing to be an annoying baby, but an entirely different thing to be an annoying toddler.

It could even talk now … sort of.

.

Remus was the one who broached the subject of their little holiday. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us, Draco? I'm sure it won't be a problem."

He wanted to leap on the invitation, but sheer stubbornness and pride stopped him. "I … no, I think I'll be just fine here."

Sirius frowned and clapped his younger cousin on the shoulder. "Come on, Draco. Get out of your comfort zone for a little while. It will be fun."

Peering up through his blonde fringe –bloody hell he really needed a haircut –he frowned at Sirius. "What if it isn't? What if I don't enjoy any of it?"

A sympathetic glint appeared in those blue-grey eyes. "Then I promise we won't stop trying until we find something that you can enjoy, too."

Draco looked down at his plate. He didn't have much of an appetite, not since the end of the war. He wasn't enjoying any food like he used to, not even dessert. He let out a long, weary sigh. "Will this be a completely muggle holiday then?" he asked, unable to keep the bitterness from creeping into his words.

Like two grown adults, Remus and Sirius chose to ignore the tone of his voice. "It will be, yes. Except for the portkey."

"What would I …um … What would I need to take with me?"

"Well, some light weight clothes, a book maybe. Anything else you might need, really. Oh, and definitely sunglasses!"

Draco scrunched his nose up, "I don't need to wear glasses."

"They protect you from the sun," Sirius grinned. "I have a very swish pair, don't I, Remy?"

"Sure, Paddy," Remus rolled his eyes.

Sirius turned back to Draco, "If you like, we can go out to the shops after lunch and find you some more clothes to take with us. How does that sound?"

Licking his lips, the blonde nodded mutely. Across the table, Toddler Potter clapped his small hands in excitement. "Beach! Going swimming!"

Sirius chuckled. "That's right, Harry. We're going to go swimming as well."

"Guess what else we can do?" Remus joined in, as though divulging the best kept secret ever. "We can build sandcastles!"

"Sandcastles?!"

Draco watched them interacting so easily. He didn't know what a beach was, really, and even less clue as to the purpose of function of a sandcastle. He doubted it'd be a very impressive castle, if it needed constructing by the sea of all places. However … Regardless of what any of it meant, it felt exciting. Or, at least, on the cusp of excitement. Draco didn't really know how to feel, only that he was definitely feeling left out of the 'family' atmosphere that seemed to strike up so easily between the two men and their offspring. Draco could very well have made a crude joke about mutts and their packs, but decided it'd be in bad taste.

"Right!" Sirius clapped his hands, leaping from his chair. Draco startled at the sudden sound and glared up at his cousin. "Let's go shopping!"

~0~

First thing on the Friday morning, just after 6AM, Draco was roused from his sleep by the low thumping of something bouncing around. With a groan he rolled out of his sticky bed and stretching his creaking joints. He raked a hand through his hair and then stood up to make his way to the bathroom. As he was walking along the landing, he heard Remus and Sirius' voices from the lower level, talking as they arranged all the essentials by the front door to shrink and take with them. Draco shuffled along to the bathroom, his feet barely walking in a straight line.

Once he'd brushed his teeth and arranged his hair to sit neatly, he left the bathroom feeling a little more alert. He just needed to change into some of the lighter, muggle clothing he'd bought the previous day. Rather, Sirius had bought it and Draco assured the man he'd pay him back.

Just as he was passing by the nursery, he heard the bouncing sound again. He groaned to himself. He could just ignore it. Then again, Sirius was busy and Remus was over-looking everything with his own infant strapped to his chest.

Pushing the door open, he saw Potter standing upright in his cot, his chubby fists wrapped around the bars and his wide green eyes alert and excited. As soon as he saw Draco, he grinned and starting bouncing again, grizzling as the blonde neared the cot. Draco stood with his arms folded against his chest and almost smiled. Almost.

"I'm not picking you up, you know?" he stated with a wry smirk. "Not everyone's gonna bend to your will, you soggy thing."

Potter beamed. He raised his arms and opened and closed his fists. "Draco, up!"

"It's not happening, kid," Draco shook his head. "You can wait for Sirius to come and get you."

That was the wrong thing to say. Potter's lips wobbled as he hung over the railings of his cot, his eyes glossing over.

Draco groaned, "Don't do that, scarhead. What, can't you be alone for two minutes?"

The toddler whined and awkwardly wiped at his nose.

Rolling his eyes, Draco grimaced as he went up to the cot and bent down to lift the child up. He cursed all his ancestors as he awkwardly held the kid at arms length. What did he do now? How did he hold it right? As stiff and rigid as he felt, Draco managed to shift the toddler onto his hip. He wriggled about until Potter seemed to sit comfortably in the crook of his body.

"Right," he grunted under the kids' weight. "I need to get my shit together. You'd better not snot on anything."

For the most part, Potter had been really well-behaved as Draco settled the kid in the nest of his pillows and blankets, still unmade, on his bed. Potter seemed to have a knack for touching anything within arms reach, clearly a trait he'd never grow out of. Whilst he busied himself with chewing on an old belt of Draco's, the blonde teen set about packing his trunk. He didn't need to take a whole lot, just his new muggle clothes as far as Sirius had told him. However, he didn't have any other means of transporting said clothes. He hoped it would be enough clothes to see him over the next four days. He wasn't entirely sure how muggles and their fashion, worked.

Sirius was hardly a role-model in that department.

.

By 8AM everything was packed, shrunken down and packed into a muggle rucksack that Sirius was going to carry. Not that Draco minded.

The portkey was due to go off at 8:20AM, and when they finally reached their destination, Draco felt like puking on the pavements.

They place they'd ended up in, was a coastal town called Margate. Draco couldn't recall ever hearing of it before. Remus had been the one to book the 'Bed and Breakfast' they'd be staying at. They had to walk for about ten minutes, squinting into the sunlight as Draco trailed behind the group, taking in all the bleached buildings, the gold sand and the luscious sea that stretched on for miles.

"There's plenty of time for that, Draco!" Remus called over his shoulder.

Draco hastened to catch up.

Their 'Bed and Breakfast' was a cosy set-up in a tall building with a large oak door at the front. The house itself was painted a strange, peachy colour. Draco noted that it looked nice in the sunny weather, but would probably resemble a rotten fruit as soon as the skies turned grey. He kept the opinion to himself, however, as they were shown up to their room.

They had a set of adjoining rooms, both with two double beds in each. It was at the very top of the building, and Remus insisted that it was worth the money. Nowhere else would have such a room available, unless they'd gone to a luxurious hotel ten miles from the sea.

"How do you want to do sleeping arrangements?" Sirius asked as he settled Harry down on the edge of the bed, and took his little cap off. His black hair stood up in all directions as he swivelled around on his butt, taking in his new environment.

"Well, Teddy and I can sleep in the other room," Remus suggested. "Or Draco, maybe you'd like to have the room to yourself? To have some privacy?"

Draco was stunned for a brief moment. "Er … I don't mind. Maybe it'd make sense for all the kids to be in the same room."

Sirius hummed, "Well that's true. Less hassle." Turning to Draco, he frowned. "Are you sure you'll be alright on your own?"

Draco shrugged. "I don't see why not. It'll hardly be any different than at Grimmauld place."

Remus eased Teddy out of the chest harness and rocked the little thing against his shoulder. "Why don't we all freshen up a little, put some sun cream on and head out for some lunch? I'm starved."

Sirius barked out a laugh. "Sounds good." Crouching down in front of the bed, he tweaked Harry's knee until he squealed with laughter. "Is that a 'yes' little man? Are you hungry?"

"Sandwiches!"

Around the corner from their B&B, they came across a little café across the road from the waterfront. The pavements were baked, Draco could feel the heat radiating off of them. His skin felt slimy as they settled down at a table under a striped awning. Sirius had insisted he be slathered in some strange-smelling white cream because apparently it 'protects him from the sun' or something bullshit. He'd gone along with it purely to appease his guardian.

They sat at a white metal table with metal chairs that had striped cushions on them. It wasn't the most comfortable he'd ever been, but then this was hardly a five star place. Still, he sat with a vaguely disgruntled look on his face. Potter was perched on Sirius' lap. Remus had his own son nestled back against his torso, his hand continuously brushing the tuft of blue hair without thinking.

A young woman with brown hair pulled back into a bun came out, chewing gum and handed them menus. Draco grimaced down at his menu, noting it even _looked_ sticky. Sirius must have noticed, as he placed a hand on the teens shoulder. "Don't look so daunted. What do you want to eat? We'll see if we can get you sorted."

Draco frowned down, noting the unmoving pictures of the food. None of it looked particularly appetising but his gut was already cramping with hunger. He hadn't eaten before they'd left. "Um … I don't really know."

"How about a full English?" Remus suggested, before glancing up at the waitress. "Are you still able to make that?"

"Sure," she smacked her lips. "All-day breakfast, if you fancy it."

"I'll have one of those, with double sausages, if you please," he smiled up at her. "How about you, Paddy?"

"I'll have a full English as well," he grinned, flashing his teeth. He turned his attention down, as Potter grabbed for his curls. "What're you after, kid? You fancy a sausage?"

Draco's head shot up as Potter grinned, flashing his baby teeth. "Sausage sandwich!"

Sirius grinned back at the young woman. "Is a sausage sandwich possible? He's addicted to his sandwiches at the moment."

The woman smiled for the first time, her eyes landing on Potter. "Oh, he's precious! Yeah, sure, sausage sandwich is fine. I can bring a Ribenna for him as well, if you want? Can even stick the straw in himself!"

"I like straws!" Potter beamed.

"One Ribenna is it then," she turned to Draco and cocked an eyebrow, "What about you, darling? Anything you fancy?"

Despite his hunger, Draco really have the energy to chew. Since arriving to stay with his cousin, he'd only taken to eating small meals. "Er … Yeah, just a sausage sandwich for me, thanks."

Remus ordered some drinks too, and after she'd written everything down, she walked back intot he building. Turning his amber eyes onto the blonde teen beside him, Remus frowned. "Are you sure that's going to be enough for you Draco? You didn't eat this morning."

"I'm fine."

"Well we can always get some chips on the pier, can't we?" Sirius shrugged as he adjusted Potter on his lap. "Or an ice cream? Either way, this won't be our only meal of the day."

Remus pursed his lips but opted not to say anything.

The food arrived and they ate. Potter was kept quiet as he munched his way clumsily through his sandwich, the ketchup smearing over his cheeks. Sirius had to keep stopping to use a damp napkin to gently clean the toddlers face, despite Potter's protests and squirming. As Remus and Sirius demolished their portions, Draco was very much reminded of their canine attributes.

.

.

Once the food was eaten, Remus insisted that they put a little more cream on their faces. Even Draco. The blonde did it automatically, watching as Potter also squirmed and protested, batting Sirius' hands with a chubby fist. Once sufficiently protested by the suns evilness, they walked out from under the shade and crossed the street towards the beach.

Draco was stunned as his shoes sank into the soft, gold sand.

He hasn't felt something so soft in who knew how long. Any memory of such softness was from another lifetime ago. He had to hurry to catch up with the rest of the group as they walked lazily down a wooden walkway, drawing closer and closer to the sea. It hushed and frothed as the waves broke across the damp sand. It fizzed and was absorbed, dragged back to the depths, before another wave rushed up to them.

Potter squealed in delight as he tugged Sirius' hand, forcing the older man to stoop down and follow towards the waters edge. Draco crossed his arms over his chest and watched as Sirius popped each of Potter's kiddie shoes off and grabbed both his hands. His insides did a funny sommersault as he watched Potter being held by his arms and swung out over the waves, being dipped so that his feet skimmed the cool water. Every time his feet vanished from sight, Potter's laughter filled the air.

Beside him, Remus chuckled. "I remember the one and only time we took Harry to the beach. He was just as excited about it then as he is now."

Draco frowned and shrugged, the heat of the sun slowly baking him from behind. "I don't see what all the fuss was about."

Remus watched as Sirius picked up Harry and spun him around in circles before dunking his legs back into the frothy waves. Harry squealed and kicked about in delight. Shielding Teddy's face from the sun, he turned to Draco and nodded towards a bench in a shaded spot by some large rocks. Draco followed, almost like he was a puppet. They settled down on the worn wooden and Remus rolled his shoulders, sighing softly as knots were released.

"My wife died in the war."

Draco's head snapped around, his eyes wide. He hadn't been expecting that. He watched Remus' face for any sign of a cruel joke, but found nothing. His insides turned cold, making his skin break out in goosepimples, despite the heat. His eyes dropped down to where Teddy was grizzling in his harness, his bright eyes taking in all the sunny splendour.

"I … I'm sorry," Draco choked out. It terrified him that anyone could say such a statement so casually.

"She had her whole life in front of her," Remus sighed. "She was younger than me by a good few years. For some reason she settled for me. I should have forced her to stay home, but she wouldn't have it. She was killed –I survived."

Draco swallowed, his throat dry.

He didn't know what to say, what could be said, over something so harrowing.

"I should be glad that one of us lived," the older man sighed, the bags and lines around his eyes suddenly more pronounced than ever. It aged him terribly. "So that Teddy wasn't an orphan. I just wish to Merlin it wasn't me."

Despite the sickness that pooled in his stomach, Draco couldn't ignore all the times he'd felt the exact same way. Still did, in fact.

"I know things are dismal right now," Remus continued. "I don't know the right answers for everything, but you are in as good position as any right now. You can control where you go from this point forward. You're not in Azkaban. You don't need to suffer like Sirius did. The man … He may be stunted, emotionally, and on more mental levels than either of us can count. However, the one thing that Azkaban could never kill inside him, was the love and determination he felt for getting back to Harry, to his family. He's a good man, Draco. Just like I know you are."

Draco blinked, stunned by the words. He cast his eyes over to wear Sirius had thrown caution to the wind and was sat right in the sand, hunched over and grinning as Potter smashed a sandy mound with his fists. His insides twisted again, as Sirius ruffled the snot-buckets mop of black hair.

A hand rested on his knee, squeezing.

"You've been given a second chance, Draco. I know we're far from the family unit you'd always imagined, but a mis-matched family is better than no family. It's hard on all of us, in different ways," the older man said, his amber eyes turning and lingering on where Sirius sat. "We have to deal with what's been forced upon us and learn to enjoy what the next chapter of our lives has to offer."

"You say it like it's so easy," Draco accused, his voice latching.

A short laugh. "Trust me, Draco, there are days I can't even get out of bed. It hurts me to be such a failure in front of my son, but one day I hope he will understand."

"So you're just going on blind faith that your son will be forgiving? That he'll want to stick around, waiting for a change that may never happen?"

Remus inclined his head. "I have to trust that I'll love him enough for him to understand what we went through."

"And what about …?" he let the question hang in the air between them. He shifted on the bench, the sun burning at his ankles.

"You have us. We're not going anywhere. The one thing I can count on, is that Sirius Black is like a damned bad penny; he's always showing up when you don't want him."

Draco almost smiled.

"Besides, he juggled taking care of me so I could take care of Teddy, as well as keeping Harry from self-imploding after the war. He's come so far since Azkaban. If he can come through that, there's nothing that you and I can't do, too."

Draco hummed in thought. His eyes strayed back to Sirius as he rolled up his trousers, toed off his shoes and held out his hand for Potter to hold on to. Together, they strolled towards the water and waded in ankle-deep. Whenever a wave came, they tried to jump over it. Potter got soaked from his toes to his chin!

It looked … fun.

Remus followed his gaze and smiled. "Go and join them," he said, nudging the blonde gently.

"What if they'd rather I wasn't there?" he asked, almost too quietly.

"You won't know until you try."

Draco huffed in annoyance. Damned self-righteous werewolves and their spawn.

After a few moments just sitting there, making as much a point as he could, Draco eventually peeled himself off the wooden bench and stepped out into the blazing sunlight. He felt as though his skin was being set on fire as he walked down the wooden walkway towards the waters edge. Padding awkwardly over the last leg of sand, he squirmed. Did he call out of just go straight in for it? He cast a look over his shoulder as Remus, but could barely see the man thanks to the glare of the sun.

With great anxiety thrumming through his veins, he wriggled his feet out of his shoes and hurried across the hot sand until his feet came to the waters edge. It was cool, damp and gritty. He wasn't sure how to feel about it.

"Draco!" Potter cried out gleefully. "Come jump! Come jump!"

The teen grimaced at being spotted, but now he didn't have a way out of it. With dread in his belly, he waded into the water. He gasped at how cool it was compared to the heat of the sun. Walking out to where Sirius stood, grinning like an idiot, Draco squinted back at him. The water felt refreshing but his skin was on fire.

He almost attacked when he felt Potter grab ahold of his hand.

"Jump, Draco!" Potter insisted, bobbing his knees. "Jump over the waves!"

"Alright you bossy git," Draco grunted, more to himself than the toddler.

Sirius let out a bark of laughter, a noise that still set Draco on edge.

Each holding a hand of Potter's over his head Sirius asked, "You ready, squirt? On three we're going to jump okay?" He eyed Draco pointedly over Potter's head, jiggling the little arm.

Draco frowned.

"One … Two … Three … JUMP!"

He felt so foolish at jumping over a wave that barely reached his knees. Potter, on the other hand was thrilled –even if he did spit out some sea water.

"Shit!" Draco hissed. "I didn't mean –"

Sirius waved him off, "It's fine, just need to lift him higher on the next one, okay?"

Draco nodded. It wasn't okay. It _really_ wasn't okay.

Still, the next wave was brewing and he only had a few seconds before –

"JUMP!"

He jumped whilst hoisting Potter as high as he could manage. The brat cleared the wave entirely, laughing loudly as he splashed back down into the shallow water. "Again!" he cried out, bouncing so hard Draco was sure his arm was about to free itself from its socket. "Again, again, again!"

Apparently he had no choice.

There would be many wave jumps that afternoon.

* * *

**A/N: If none of you guys fell in love with beach-fun Harry, then I can't even LOOK AT YOU! *snape-swishes my bathrobe***


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: Thank you guys for being patient with me. Thank you to Fanofbellaandedward for proof-reading this for me! Thanks to Mizzrazz72 and Chocolatesauce18 for their reviews!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

.

.

"Have you thought anymore about returning to Hogwarts?" Sirius asked the following morning. He carried Potter against his chest with such ease, that Draco couldn't help but envy the tanned muscles.

Draco took a lick of his ice cream. "I don't think it's something I'd want to do. I can't go back there. Not after the things I've done."

Sirius nodded with a hum. He look a lick of the ice cream in his free hand and then offered it to Potter who opened his mouth wide and took a bite of the soft creamy mush. "Perhaps you should write to McGonagall about studying by yourself and taking the exams privately?"

Draco frowned as they walked down the high street. The shade was refreshing. "I doubt she'd want to do my any favours. Not after all the trouble I've caused."

Sirius sighed and came to a stop. Draco winced and stopped, too, refusing to look up and meet his gaze. "Listen to me, kid. Dumbledore saw something in you worth a second chance. I think I'm starting to get it, myself. Now if you don't want to deal with the other kids, then fine. I just –I don't want you to regret the chance of doing something more with yourself. You can at least get the theory exams done, right? Do the practical ones after they release your magic?"

Draco hadn't thought about any of it in such a practical way. He was a little stunned; if McGonagall did agree to such an arrangement, then he could pass his NEWT's without having to see any of his old classmates.

"That … doesn't actually sound like a bad plan," he hedged.

Sirius grinned wolfishly. "There you go! We can even get you the reading materials from Diagon before term starts."

"Sirius you don't need to waste your money on –"

"On what, Draco? On family? I'd cherish every moment of it!"

Draco frowned up at him as they resumed their casual stroll down the high street. They had yet to go into any shops. "Why would you cherish something so inane?"

"Maybe it's because I was in Azkaban for twelve years. It makes even the silliest things seem like a milestone."

The words sent a chill settling in Draco's stomach. He swallowed thickly, his appetite for the ice cream having vanished. He held onto the brittle cone, just so that he could take a cool lick every now and then to avoid speaking much.

Every so often Draco's attention was caught by something in one of the narrow, latticed windows. Sirius would come to a stop beside him and ask if he wanted to go inside, but Draco always found himself refusing. Truthfully, he wanted to see if he could find something for his mother, but there was no way to encompass the entire seaside town in just a single object or two. Neither Sirius nor Remus ever pressured him, though. Raking a hand through his blonde hair, he hurried to catch up to Sirius who had stopped outside another shop. There were strange racks and a bookcase propped up outside, almost reminiscent of Diagon Alley.

"What're you looking at?" Draco asked.

"I'm trying to find some postcards that I like," Sirius muttered in an offhand manner. "We've taken some nice photos, but I want something muggle to add into Harry's scrapbook."

Draco glanced at the ratty wire rack. It had loads of colourful cards on them depicting unrealistic versions of the town they were staying in. He peered closer, silently hoping that one of them would start moving –no such luck. Sirius plucked a few cards from the rack and then went over to peer at the counter. Draco glanced back at the cards. Would mother like one? They were so common in comparison to an elegant letter written on embossed parchment, however there was a quirky sort of charm to it. How much was 50p in sickles and knuts?

His stomach clenched in humiliation.

He'd never had to ask for money until now. He felt like a beggar.

"Draco? Did you see anything you liked?" Sirius called from the counter inside the shop.

His felt his body flush with embarrassment. He didn't even realise his cousin had came up behind him until he turned and almost collided with Potter's shoulder. "Sh –er –sorry. Didn't hear you."

Sirius frowned down at him. He kept his voice low as he asked, "Are you alright?"

"Fine."

A pause. "Did you want to get some postcards? I'm sure your mum would like one."

Draco twisted his mouth up, now wanting to divulge just how accurate Sirius' assumptions were. He shrugged nonchalantly and turned back to the rack. "I suppose she would like to know where you've been taking me," he stated.

Sirius hummed but didn't say anything. He took the postcards from Draco and went back to the counter to pay.

Once they were back out on the high street, Draco fidgeted with his hands in his pockets. "How much do I owe you for the cards?" he asked, keeping his head bent towards the pavement.

"Draco those cards didn't even cost me two quid, okay? It's nothing to worry over."

"Sirius can you just tell me?"

Sighing, the older man was quiet for a moment while he did the math. "It's about five sickles and three knuts for all three cards."

Draco nearly stopped in his tracks. "Is that all?"

"I told you it was nothing."

"S'rus! Want to go home!" Potter whined, kicking his little legs in agitation. "Too hot!"

"Alright, kid, alright. Do you want to go and have a nap with Teddy?"

"Yeah!" Potter grinned, completely forgetting that he was meant to be annoyed. "Sleep with Teddy."

"Now, don't you hug him too tight. He's still a baby."

Potter mumbled something but Draco didn't pay any attention. He was trying to pen the letter in his head. He hadn't written to his mother in over a month and, if her few letters were anything to go by, she was becoming increasingly worried. At least now he had something of note to report back to her.

.

.

Later that evening, Remus asked Sirius if he fancied going to the pub down the road for a drink. From his position in the adjoining doorway, Draco could practically see the raised ears and the tail wagging. He knew what was coming before either man had dared to look at him; he was going to be babysitting Saint Nappy-Wearing Potter and Teddy. He gave a resigned sigh but accepted his fate on one condition; they had to show him how to work the strange, black box sitting on the chest-of-drawers.

He had seen images and heard noises coming from it the previous evening, but it unnerved him to have the thing looming in the corner of the room without knowing how to disarm or control it.

"Okay, Draco. This is called a television. Muggles use it to entertain themselves, or find our what's going on in the world," Remus explained. He held a long, black thing with a load of small squishie bits on it. "This is the remote. You can turn the volume up or down using these arrow buttons," he pointed to the volume buttons. "And these ones are to go up a channel or down a channel."

Draco felt even more confused than before.

"I get the volume," he lied. "But what's a channel?"

"A channel is a program. For example, one will have the news on it, so you can keep up to date with things in the muggle world. Almost like the Daily Prophet. Other channels with have things like documentaries on wildlife, there's the crime channel –"

"I don't want to watch people doing crimes!" Draco snapped.

Chuckling, Remus shook his head. "No, you won't. Sometimes it'll be about a crime in the past and they're acting out how it happened now that the case is closed. Other times it will be completely fictional."

The blonde frowned. "Well if it isn't real, why would I care about it?"

"It's entertainment."

"I don't see why."

"Well, try watching one and see how you like it."

Draco took the remote in his hand and turned it over again and again. "Are there other things to watch?" he asked absently.

"It varies from night to night," Remus stated over his shoulder as he looked at himself in the mirror. He was wearing basic muggle jeans –something Draco still didn't agree with as a fashion choice –and a white linen button-down shirt. The long sleeves worked well to hide his scar-laced forearms. The pale lines across his face were unavoidable, though. "Just flick through and find something you like. There's usually movies on Saturday nights at least."

Draco glanced up at the brunette with a frown. "What the hell is a movie?"

Remus gave him a patient smile. "It's like a fictional documentary. Or your favourite book acted out so that you can watch it instead of having to imagine it for yourself."

Draco sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "I guess I have the rest of the night to figure it out."

"Don't worry. Paddy yelled at his first ever T.V. for a week straight. He was convinced someone was locked inside it," Remus chuckled.

Draco's eyebrows rose in bemusement just as the aforementioned cousin came in from the bathroom with a freshly changed Potter in toe. "Right, we're all set," he grinned, indicating his russet coloured silk shirt and light trousers. He bent down and sat Potter on the same bed as Draco. "You be good for Draco now, do you hear my Harry?"

Potter blinked those large, green eyes and nodded eagerly. "Be good for Draco."

"Good boy," Sirius pressed a big, bristly kiss to the toddlers' forehead. Then he turned his attention to Draco. "Teddy's already down for the night," he nodded over to the cot. "But if he wakes up, just make sure he has everything he needs. He shouldn't be hungry, but if he is, just feed him a little bit, okay? We don't need him being sick."

Draco swallowed thickly, but nodded.

"Good. We won't be out too long."

"What if there's an emergency?" Draco asked, tensing at the idea of being defenceless against two children.

Sirius frowned. Thankfully, Remus came to the rescue. "It's okay. I have a mobile in case of emergencies." He took a napkin from the bedside table and wrote out eleven numbers. Draco frowned as he was handed the napkin. "Now, if there is any issue, pick up the phone, dial that number and wait for me to answer, okay?"

Draco fidgeted on the bed. He felt the burn of humiliation tarnishing the back of his skin. "I … Can you show me how to do it?"

"Sure thing," Sirius took the reigns and picked up an ugly, clunky white object littered with the same numbered buttons as the 'remote'. Draco frowned, leaning closer so that he could see exactly what Sirius was doing. Once the numbers had been punched in, in the correct order as written, he held the device to his ear and waiting.

A strange ringing sounded out, causing Draco to leap to his feet in alarm.

"Hey, hey it's okay!" Remus held up his hands in surrender. "That's just my phone."

Draco glared at him, his heart thumping heavily in his chest. "Why –Why did it make that noise?"

"So I knew that someone was trying to contact me."

Draco's throat felt tight. His eyes felt hot and irritated as Sirius replaced the 'phone' and straightened up. Both men wore a look on their face, a look that made Draco feel positively queasy. Pity. "We can stay home tonight if you'd like, Draco. Just say the word and we'll stay."

"No! It's –look, I'll be fine, alright?" he snapped. He turned his back on both men and settled back onto the bed. "Go out and enjoy yourselves."

'_At least some of us should_,' went unsaid.

Remus and Sirius exchanged a worried glance, however Draco began channel-surfing, effectively distancing himself from their presence. In the end, they decided to just go out for a couple of hours, leaving the blonde to explore the world of cutting-edge muggle technology.

.

It took Draco all of half an hour to work out a system for the television; he went through all the channels several times and then started making notes on which ones would host what variety of show. That would be good for when he was alone. At that moment, he had Potter slumped back on the pillow beside him, jiggling his legs every so often to dispel the extra energy.

Great. The sodding Saint Potter was even able to dictate what to watch purely because of his _age_. It took another twenty minutes to find something that wasn't too distasteful for an infant, which seemed to be a hard feat past 8 o'clock at night.

Two programmes into the evening, Draco was amazed at what muggles deemed entertaining; not only were the ways to broadcast said 'shows' impressive, but the subject matter of most of these late-night shows were sometimes so well played-out that Draco felt drawn-in, almost like he was _there_ with the characters instead of sitting on a bed with a babbling brat that seemed to like diving into the pillows.

Sooner or later, Potter would bash his stupid scarhead against the headboard.

Draco ground his teeth together.

"Draco! Look! I'm gonna dive into this shark tank!"

"There are no sharks, Potter," Draco intoned, not even bothering to look.

"The pillows are sharks."

"No, they aren't."

"You have to pretend they're sharks, Draco. That's how pretend works."

Draco ignored him.

He felt the brat scramble to his feet and dive head-first into the pillows, over and over again.

"Alright, that's enough!" Draco snapped. He reached out and grabbed Potter's wrist, forcing him to stop bouncing. His cheeks were flushed from exertion and his black hair was a rumpled mess. "No more jumping on the bed. You'll fall and hurt yourself."

"No. I'm careful!"

Draco glowered at the child. "I said 'no'. Anyway, it's past your bedtime."

"I don't like having the light on …" Wide green eyes dropped to the bed.

Draco frowned. Didn't Sirius say that Potter suffered from nightmares after the war? That he needed to sleep with the light on most nights? Why wouldn't he want the light on, unless …?

He didn't remember.

The thought slammed into Draco's chest like a brick wall.

Potter didn't remember anything about the war. He wasn't just suffering in silence like most of them, no. He had completely erased the last fifteen years of his life. He just wanted happiness, a whole family …

His heart twisted and ached in his chest. He felt his eyes and throat burn with suppressed anguish. He wasn't about to let it all out in front of Potter though, brat or not.

"Draco?" A small, warm hand touched his cheek and he flinched, almost knocking Potter over. Potter blinked up at him, his hand still on Draco's cheek. "I don't like you sad."

Draco blinked his eyes, trying to get rid of any shine in them. "Whatever you say Potter," he cuffed at his eyes quickly before clearing his throat. "Time for bed. Go on."

He tugged the covers off of one side of the bed. He quickly checked on Teddy; he was still sound asleep in his cot, his hair a fluffy lilac colour as he dreamed. Draco turned the lights off –light switches were one of the many muggle absurdities that he wished he could just '_incendio'_ at first sight –and turned the bedside lamp on. The room was instantly cosier.

"Better?" he asked, feeling worn-out.

Potter nodded from where he was dwarfed by big pillows.

"Good."

Draco turned the volume on the T.V. down and reclined back against the headboard, his own mind feeling tired. He really needed to get better sleep, but it evaded him at every turn. He was dimly aware of Potter burrowing into his side, the warmth of his little body the last thing that Draco remembered before he drifted off to sleep.

~0~

_He was walking. _

_That's all his dreams felt like now; walking down long corridors made of black, shining marble. Just like in the Department of Mysteries. Just like his home._

_There was a door at the end. He didn't need to touch it to know that it would open as soon as he neared._

_He barely makes it over the threshold before hands dart out of the darkness and pin him to the cold wall. Nails dig into his flesh and he can hear cackling, but there's no one else around._

_Red eyes blaze to life before him._

_'Crucio!'_

CRACK!

The bathroom door banged open and Draco yelled out at the sound. He doesn't remember how he got to the bathroom floor, nor why Sirius is snapping at Remus for him to go to the children. He's aware that he's shaking, that he's speaking nonsense but he can't control any of it.

He's face his soaked with tears and his nose is running. His body feels like it's burning up and his mind is about to melt out of his ears.

He isn't breathing … Why isn't he breathing?

Unlatching his jaw, he takes deep, gulping breaths through sobs. He heaved and sucked in air but it didn't help. It just fans the flames inside him. Everything hurts and he doesn't know why.

Cool hands touched his skin and everything inside him snapped, unravelled into oblivion and he continued to cry. His vision is blurred and he didn't understand what's happening. There's the tinkling of glass and the crunch of it being magically fixed together.

What had broken? The mirror?

His face his wiped despite his weak protests, and then washed clean, before he got bodily lifted off the bathroom floor and carried out. He picked up the smell of cologne and cool air clinging to Sirius' shirt and leaned into the soft fabric.

Cool, softness pressed against his back and he almost sighed with relief. His throat was raw.

It was dark … For the first time in ages he just wanted to lie in the dark and not have to see or face anything.

He drifted in a semi-conscious state for a while. He wasn't alone in his room. The bed dipped with the weight of another person. It should have terrified him, should have made his heart tremor with fear. However, he turned into the warmth, his raw, damp cheeks stinging as he hiccoughed on air. Cool arms cradled him and the soft fabric was against his forehead. A hand rubbed his back through his shirt. He hadn't been held like that, not since before the trials, since Mother …

A tear rushed down his cheek. His headache throbbed at the base of his skull. A thumb wiped the tear away. He swallowed past the lump in his throat, barely making out the soft noises in the adjoining room.

He fell asleep with his head against Sirius' chest.

.

.

Sunday morning they packed everything up and took a leisurely train back into London. Everyone seemed rather subdued, whether from the heat or the lack of sleep, Draco couldn't really tell. He noticed Potter would look over at him across the table between them, but didn't speak. It was just as well. Draco didn't know if he was capable of talking without breaking-down.

The following day, he requested an appointment to see his therapist.

* * *

**A/N: So my lovelies, this is to be the final update whilst I am away on holidays! I will be gone for three weeks -back on the 19th August -so please leave lots of love and reviews for me to read in my down time ;) Hope you all have a great summer!**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

.

.

Sirius had accepted the position as DADA professor, alongside Remus.

They would each work a week and had spent hours pouring over a calendar to make sure that Sirius was always working on the week of a full moon and that Remus was always working on the week that Harry would age a year.

It had been a long conversation and once the timetable had been sorted out and owled to McGonagall, their joint attention had turned to Draco.

It had taken two hours and a lot of raised voices from Sirius, more so because he was easily excited than anything else, before even Draco couldn't deny that the prospect of studying magic again did have a faint sheen of appeal for him. His conditions were simple; he'd be tutored at home in private and study whenever he could. Any and all home work was to be taken to him and to the respective professors to be marked via owl or Sirius. If he was able to pass all the theory and written exams with good grades, then as soon as the restrictions on his magic were lifted, he'd be able to sit the practical exams.

Maybe there was something waiting for him on the other side of his torment.

As it stood, the only thing he had looking forward to in the coming week was for Potter to officially turn three years old.

They weren't going to be having another party. Draco was glad for that; there was only so much leftover cake a boy could take.

He'd written to his mother informing him of his decision to continue on with his studies. She had been pleased of his decision, stating that he had nothing but time on his hands these days, so he may as well make the best of it all.

He didn't tell her about all the muggle appliances he had to learn about, though. Perhaps after Christmas, but not right now. It still felt like his skin was dirty every time he flipped the light switch.

McGonagall, in her wisdom, had also stated that he was more than welcome to return to school to use the facilities for his studies, although he was pretty sure Sirius would allow him to brew potions in one of the unused rooms. She had explained in her letter to him, that should he ever wish to come to the school grounds, she would ensure that he have a personal escort so as to discourage any wand-waving whilst his back was turned.

He appreciated the sentiment, however he knew how shitty students could be.

He'd been one of them for years. To think of all the pranks he'd gotten away with without being scolded for it.

It all felt too neat, too practical, too easy.

He wasn't ready to let any of it settle and become real in his head, not yet.

A quick glance at the calendar made his insides twist. There was only a week and a half until term officially started. He had yet to go to Diagon Alley and get the books on the list McGonagall had written to him. Of course, there were less practical things to buy, so it shouldn't cost too much money for Sirius to acquire what he needed. He still felt like a leech having to take money from a man who had been exiled from his own family.

The thought … struck a cord within his chest.

Stifling a yawn, he reasoned that it was getting late.

Potter was already asleep in his cot in the nursery and Sirius was sprawled out on the sofa in the lounge, watching that infernal T.V.; apparently tonight there was some crime related documentary that he was 'into'. He'd asked if Draco wanted to join him, but he'd declined, instead retreating to the coolness of the kitchen to pen a letter to his mother and read over the various papers he'd accumulated over the last few days.

Shuffling the papers into a neat stack, he tucked them under his arm, manually turned off the lights and then climbed the stairs to his bedroom. The low murmur of the T.V. was becoming more familiar to him now. In a way it was comforting to know that he wasn't alone in the huge, dark house.

.

Placing the papers on the top of the dresser, Draco stripped down to a muggle t-shirt and his boxers before pulling back the thick duvet and lying on top of the cold, rumpled sheets. A shiver ran over him and he laced his fingers over his stomach, staring up at the canopy over his bed. He wondered what the next few months would be like, in the lead-up to Christmas. Remus and Sirius would be busy trying to figure out what lessons to teach what age-group. Draco was going to be studying, with Remus as a more level-headed aid.

Perhaps he would get to see his Mother on Christmas Day?

The thought of Christmas in general made him nervous. What if the Weasel family wanted to come back over? What if it wasn't just the parents but the offspring as well? Draco felt his lips curl into a sneer out of habit. What if Granger showed up too? How was he supposed to face all of them?

His heart seemed to speed up at the thought.

He didn't have to see any of them. He could do as he'd been doing since day one; staying in his room, making no noise and pretending that he didn't exist.

It was better from everyone involved, anyway.

No interaction between himself, Granger and Weasel was ever going to go well, least of all in regards to Potter's current predicament. Granger would immediately start thinking of ways to reverse the potion, or at least speed the process up … to what end? She was dating Weasel, so why would she need Potter around?

As fucked up as it all was, Potter being a baby made sense after what he'd been through.

Granger and Weasley wouldn't see that, though.

They'd blame Sirius for being too childish and incompetent and blame Draco for simply being a Death Eater and in the same house.

Letting out a groan, Draco cupped his hand over his face and sighed. Why did he even care what those two morons thought about him? They'd always hated him, another year of dealing with their insolence was hardly going to break his bleeding little heart.

What if they wanted to come over regularly to be around Potter?

"Fucking brat," Draco hissed under his breath, feeling the ugly heat pooling in his belly.

He rolled onto his side, trying to get comfortable. From downstairs, he heard Sirius turning the T.V. off and slowly make his way upstairs. He stopped off to check-in on Potter in his little nursery. He walked by Draco's door and paused. For a fleeting moment, Draco froze, barely daring to breathe. What if Sirius came in to check on him? He barely remembered the night they'd slept together in the same bed. He'd felt safe, comforted and as though he was understood, if even for a brief moment.

Swallowing thickly, he listened for the click of the door.

There was none.

Sirius continued on his way along the landing until he got to his own door and went inside.

Draco lie stiffly on his bed, ears strained for the tiniest sound of movement. He heard the creak of the springs in Sirius' bed as the man lie down on it. Would he sleep at all? Was he just as worried about what the coming weeks would bring? Eventually, Draco let himself relax, letting the coolness of the room lull him into a disjointed sleep.

~0~

"Are you sure you can handle all three of them?" Remus frowned, glancing over as Draco stood as still as a statue on the edge of the room, arms folded tightly against his chest.

Andromeda pursed her lips at her son-in-law. "I'm perfectly capable of copying, Remus," she stated briskly. "Teddy is a chirpy little thing, Harry can walk by himself now and Draco is quickly becoming my new favourite ornament, so kindly stop worrying yourself wretched and go with Sirius to sort out your office."

"We won't be gone too long –"

"Remus, everything will be fine," Sirius assured, slinging his arm around Remus' shoulders. "Like you said, we'll be there a few hours tops and then we'll be back to take everyone home for a nap and then their dinner."

Remus wrestled himself free from Sirius' embrace, ignoring the broad grin the brunette wore. "You'll floo us if anything happens, right?"

Sirius sighed, "Remy, do you want to stay here with the kids while I sort out the office?"

Amber eyes flew wide. "Absolutely not!" he snapped, flaring his arm in a decisive arc. "Knowing my luck, all the furniture will be bought from Zonko's and the rest will be bought from the Weasley's!"

"Then kindly get in the fireplace and floo your backside to our office."

"What about the rest of me?"

"Oh, go splinch yourself for all I care. Maybe you can leave that smart mouth of yours here for a change!" Sirius barked out, grabbing a handful of floo powder and stepping into the fireplace. "Hogwarts School, Houndstooth Office!"

In a flash of green flames, he was gone.

Remus' jaw dropped to the floor. "McGonagall let him name the office, I should have known!"

Andromeda smirked at her son-in-law. "I suggest you go after him. There's no telling what that man will do just to one-up you."

"He's been gone all of thirty seconds, how much trouble do you think he'll cause?" Remus sighed.

Andromeda dropped a pointed look down at Harry who was staring up at her with wide, green eyes, and then cocked an eyebrow at Remus. "I don't need to tell you, dear, that thirty seconds is long enough for Sirius Black to be left unattended."

Grumbling, Remus snatched at the floo powder on the mantelpiece and repeated the name Sirius had shouted out. There was a flash of green flames and he, too, was gone.

Turning her attention to her temporary guests, Andromeda bounced Teddy up onto her hip and announced, "Who's ready to get baking?"

The look of fear on young Draco's face was almost enough for her to cackle. Almost.

.

From his position at the kitchen table, Draco watched as his Aunt and Potter made a mess of the baking ingredients. He wrinkled his nose at the clouds of flour that permeated the air. The counter-top was littered with broken egg shells and chocolate crumbs. Teddy seemed happy enough in his little carrier that had been charmed to rock gently whenever he got unsettled. Draco had an invitation extended to him to come and help, but he'd declined. It was bad enough that he was done to his last clean outfit –he kept eyeing the so-called washing machine in the kitchen but still had too much pride to ask how it worked –before he'd have to resort to muggle clothing.

He was not going to get it dirty.

Potter squealed as Andromeda starting mixing the icing the muggle way. Draco frowned but didn't comment; if he reminded anyone of his presence, they'd ask him to participate. He'd gone to the beach, hadn't he done enough already?

"That's the cupcakes all done!" Andromeda announced cheerfully, as she wiped her hands down on an apron. Picking Potter up, she flicked her wand at the kitchen counters and immediately they jumped up and started to wash themselves in the sink. Another flick made both herself and Potter clean again. Settling down at the kitchen table, she finally fixed her dark eyes on Draco. "Are you going to do anything other than sulk, Draco dear?"

He froze. Her mannerisms and her wild mass of dark curls –so much like his Aunt Bella.

She furrowed her brow before understanding dawn in her eyes. "I am not my sister, Draco. I fell in love with a muggle for crying out loud. Even if Bellatrix polyjuiced as me, she'd sooner eat her own vomit that even pretend to live my life."

"She'd dead," Draco murmured.

"I'm not sorry to see her go," Andromeda stated. "Once upon a time she was my sister. The woman who died was not the same girl I grew up with."

Draco's insides twisted, but he said nothing.

"So how are you finding it living with my dear cousin and little Harry?"

Draco almost rolled his eyes, but he had to remind himself of his manners. "It has its challenges," he said. "Sirius can be erratic at times. Potter is usually with him."

Andromeda stroked Potter's dark tuft of hair as he scribbled on a piece of paper with some weird, waxy sticks. "How have his friends taken the news of his predicament?"

Draco's head shot up. "I –I don't know. They're not my friends. They seem to be pretty preoccupied."

Andromeda hummed thoughtfully. "I can imagine it's been hard for Hermione. Last I heard they were in Australia trying to bring her parents' memories back. Imagine, having to erase your life from your own parents'? It doesn't bear thinking about."

Draco drank in her words without comment. Granger had obliviated her own parents before the war? How –How did she have the strength to accomplish that? A cold weight sank into his gut. All those times he had mocked her for being a muggleborn, all those times he had sneered at the very idea of her parents, and she'd sacrificed ever having them again, just to keep them safe.

He could never be that brave.

Tears glossed over his eyes and he tried to blink them away.

"Do you think they'll want to visit Harry when they come back to England?" Andromeda asked, pulling him out of his own head.

"I … I'm not sure. I suppose they will as soon as they know what's happened."

"That's true," she agreed. "School starts up again in just over a week. They might drop by unannounced before then."

Draco felt his shoulders tense. "There's no need for me to speak to them. If they've been reading the prophet then they'll know I'm living there, too."

"Have you enrolled in the new school year?" she asked, rhythmically bouncing Potter on her lap.

"Yes, but I'll be studying privately, avoiding the castle as much as I can." He let out a long sigh, "I can't go back there yet. Not after what I've done."

"I understand," she said. It sounded as if maybe she did. "For what it's worth, Draco, the war forced a lot of people to grow up before their time. People will come around eventually. Until then, just focus on what you want to do and what you need to do to get through this difficult time."

Draco tried to force a smile before taking a sip of his lemonade.

Potter grizzled and demanded Andromeda's attention of his pictures, most of them ridiculous scribbles. She crooned and cooed and ruffled his hair, even pressing a kiss to his cheek. Draco needed to remind himself just how un-jealous he was.

The floo in the kitchen fireplace roared to life, making Potter gasp, "Oh!"

The clock on the mantle chimed for 5pm. Where had the time gone?

Sirius and Remus ducked out of the floor, brushing soot from their clothes. Andromeda cleared her throat with a raised eyebrow. Both men froze, flushed and then banished the dirt from her kitchen floor.

Upon spotting Potter, Sirius beamed brightly and immediately scooped the brat into the air, twirled him overhead and them pressed big, sloppy kisses all over Potter as he squealed and laughed at Sirius' antics. Remus smiled adoringly, before lifting his own son out of the carrier and holding him tenderly against his chest. Teddy's hair flashed bright pink.

Draco swallowed past the lump in his throat. He was all too aware of how much of an outcast he was, even here.

As if sensing his thoughts, a hand rested on his shoulder.

"How're you holding up, kid?" Sirius asked, grinning down at him. Potter peaked around Sirius' mass of curls, his wide eyes watching Draco.

"I'm fine," he replied curtly.

"Did you bake cupcakes with Harry?"

"No."

Remus frowned from across the table. "So you just sat in the chair all afternoon?"

"Oh Remus don't fuss!" Andromeda admonished. She busied herself with levitating a tray of drinks over the table. Ice cubes clinked in the glasses and both men took one each, clearly relieved. "So, how did setting up the offices go?"

"It went well enough," Remus shrugged. "We had to enlarge the office to twice its size to fit both our desks and other equipment in. For the most part, though, it'll work well for us."

"Although Minerva has informed us that she'll be writing a letter informing the parents that she is employing a werewolf as a professor. She even has it approved by the Minister, just to shut up the board of governors. The last thing we need is a torrent of owls telling us werewolves aren't fit to teach," Sirius sneered at the last sentence.

"Paddy," Remus said, his voice low and soothing. Sirius looked up at him, their eyes locking. "It'll be fine," he soothed. "I'm a big boy, I can look after myself."

Sirius pulled a face, but there was no malice behind it. They two men really were like big teenagers. And they were meant to teach a class? Unbelievable.

"Okay, I think we should make a move and get ready for dinner," Sirius announced.

Draco drained the last of his drink and stood up, drifting over towards the fireplace. He leaned against the mantelpiece, ead bowed to the floor as he watched out of the corner of his eye; Sirius kissed Andromeda on the cheek, still juggling Potter against his hip, and then turned to Remus. They exchanged a few words, probably about Remus coming to spend the night at Grimmauld place. The amber-eyed man seemed deflated, shrugging haplessly and shaking his head 'no, not tonight'. Draco could vividly picture a tail and ears drooping at the soft rejection. The way Sirius was holding onto Remus' curved arm, the way his hand stroked down, lingering just a little too long.

Were they …?

"Ready to go Draco?" Sirius asked, reaching across him for the floo powder pot.

Draco jolted, his cheeks blushing. "Y-yes," he said. "Is Remus not coming with us?"

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at him. "No. Remus is staying here tonight. He's had a long day."

Draco nodded mutely, giving a tight-lipped smile and wave over his shoulder as Sirius disappeared through the floo. Taking a pinch of powder himself, he stepped up into the grate, grimacing at the mess of ash that clung to the bottom of his trousers, before clearing his throat.

"Number Twelve Grimmauld Place!"

The green flames roared to life. Andromeda, Remus and Teddy disappeared in a flurry of flames, the emerald green searing through into his brain. He clamped his eyes shut and clenched his jaw hard as the swirling sensation threatened to make him topple sideways. He always tried to stand perfectly still. One wrong move and he'd be falling out of some poor witch's fireplace.

Eventually, the floo network spat him out; he staggered out of the fireplace almost catching his feet on the hearthrug on the other end.

He'd barely bent down to dust himself off before he was hurled backwards against the nearest wall, the engravings biting into his flesh as something thin and sharp was pressed right against his throat. His vision barely caught up with what was happening before a cacophony of shouts assaulted his ears.

"Ron, drop your wand now!"

"Ron, don't you dare!"

Forcing his eyes to adjust to the face leering down at him, Draco forced his mouth up into a sneer, purely out of habit.

"Good evening Weasley," he smirked, even as the fist at his collar tightened even further, causing him to avidly focus on breathing slowly and carefully. He did his best to hide the fear threatening to pour out of his veins as he jutted out his chin and arched an eyebrow. "It's been a while."

* * *

**A/N: Oh yes I am a right little BEEP BEEP BEEP to end a brand new chapter on a cliffhanger! Mwahahahaha! I couldn't stop myself from doing it :D**


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, but comic con is 6 odd weeks away and I'm suddenly SO stressed!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

.

The wand pressing into his throat was making him panic a little but he refused to let it show on his face.

Around him, Sirius and Granger were snapping in all manner of octaves for Weasley to drop his damned wand and let him go. Draco did his best to keep his cool demeanour in tact as, finally, Sirius stepped up to them and took Weasley's wrist in a death grip and forced it away. Whatever the redhead man was feeling, it was now being shared equally between Sirius and Draco.

"I will _not_ have you attacking _my_ family in _my_ house, do you understand me, Ronald?" Sirius demanded, a tinge of manic aggression tinting his words. It was rare he shouted, so very rare, for he'd never had any need to, save for arguing with his family way back when.

Draco dared to look up at the ginger. Despite the ugly shade of red staining his face and clashing with his hair, he lowered his wand up, nostrils flaring the entire time. It was only then that Draco realised Sirius didn't have Potter cradled against him.

"Fuck, Sirius where's Potter?" he snapped, forcing himself off the wall. Damn, if the man had lost Potter, he was never going to live it down.

"It's okay I have him," Granger's voice dispelled his heated panic.

Draco straightened and regarded her coolly, "I see."

The tense atmosphere vibrated around them. Sirius took Potter away from Granger and murmured to him, their heads bent together. From his angle, Draco could just about see the tears in Potter's green eyes and the way his mouth twisted downward. He felt a wave of negative emotions rush through him, but he couldn't pinpoint the exact cause. It hadn't been a gratifying day by any means.

Granger and Weasley regarded him, their expressions so easy to read, it was like an open wound.

"I'm going to put Harry to bed," Sirius stated matter-of-factly. "If I hear _anything_ other than talking, I will alter the wards so that neither of you can come back, do I make myself clear?"

"Sirius are you honestly defending this Death Eater?" Weasley sneered.

Sirius turned his sharp, blue eyes onto the redheaded teen. Weasley may have been tall for his age, but he had nothing on Sirius. The man may have only been an inch or two taller, but his immaculate attire and personality resonated throughout. "I am defending no one, Ron. Draco is my cousin, he was acquitted on probation and cannot do magic. Whatever he may or may not have done to you, it's in the past and we are moving-on as of now. If you cannot deal with it, I'm sure Kreacher will be happy to escort you back to the Burrow."

His tone was final and with that, he carried Potter out of the room.

As the door shut behind him, Weasley turned to Draco with an ugly sneer, "Just because you have Sirius on your side, ferret, doesn't mean that I'm about to trust you after the shit you've pulled!"

"Yes, I'd gathered that, Weaselbee," Draco retorted coolly.

Granger sighed and rolled her eyes behind them. She'd stowed her wand away and hugged her arms around her. She looked more dishevelled than when she'd been in sixth year potions; her curly hair was in disarray and unravelling from a scruffy braid, her clothes hung off her a little too much and there were dark bags under her eyes. Draco knew he didn't look that much better. Despite being at Sirius' dinner table three times a day, he'd barely put on any weight since the trials.

He shook the thoughts aside before he actually felt _empathetic_ towards Granger.

"This is all just a shock to us," Granger stated as she wandered over absently towards one of the armchairs. As she sank onto the edge of it, she raked a hand through her hair. "We were hardly expecting to come back to find Harry as a child."

Draco cocked an eyebrow. "And what does that have to do with your bed-mate jabbing his wand at me?" he sneered.

Granger flushed and Weasley turned an even uglier shade of red, his grip on his wand tightening.

"We should have been told," she sounded exhausted, like she didn't have much fight left in her.

"So talk to Sirius, not me."

"What exactly do you know of the matter?"

"I have nothing to say," Draco stated. He folded his arms over his chest, and tried to focus on his breathing.

He didn't see how Granger was smeared with dirt and running from Nagini.

He wasn't seeing Weasley cling to her in what could have been their final moments.

He didn't feel sick that he almost got them all killed …

"_Draco?_" Granger's voice was distorted. Why was she wavering? He swallowed the saliva pooling in his mouth, but that just made him want to vomit. "_Draco are you okay?_"

"Fine," he snapped, trying to take deep breaths. "I'll be right back."

He walked briskly out of the lounge as quickly as he could before hurrying up the stairs to the nearest bathroom. Locking the door behind him, he ran the taps until the water was cold and splashed his face and neck. He shivered and coughed before cupping water in his hands and gulping it down.

_Just breathe …_

_The war is over …_

_Just breathe …_

A knock came at the door.

"_Draco? Are you alright?"_ came Sirius' voice. Potter must have gotten settled, then.

"Fine," he choked back. "I'll be down in a bit."

There was a pause before Sirius made his way along the landing and descended the stairs. Straining his ears, Draco could hear the murmuring of their voices. He needed to get a grip on himself. He needed to get the next hour or two whilst Sirius filled in the other members of the golden trio about what had happened to Saint Potter, and then he could go to bed and try to forget this nightmare of a day.

.

.

The fire in the kitchen crackled away as Sirius cast a non-verbal spell for the iced tea to be served to everyone at the table. Granger cupped her hands around the base, stroking the condensation with her fingers absent-mindedly. Not once did she take a sip. Weasley, on the other hand, seemed to drink his beverage in the most passive-aggressive manner possible. His anger was still simmering a mere breadth beneath the surface. Draco couldn't help but assume that he could very well blink in an offensive manner, and the redhead would lose his collective shit.

As he sat down at the table, a glass swerved across the woodwork in front of him. Glancing up at Sirius, he felt his insides twist as the older man winked at him and gave an imperceptible nod for him to drink. He took a small, obligated sip.

Drawing in a deep breath, Granger broke the silence. "Why didn't you tell us? We could have rushed home and tried to talk him out of it."

Sirius regarded her for a moment, his face revealing none of his inner thoughts. "Harry had a lot on his mind to deal with, Hermione. You mustn't feel offended that he didn't include either of you in this decision. This was something he wanted to do for himself."

"I just … why, Sirius?" she turned large brown eyes to the older man. "I don't understand why he thought this was necessary."

"He wasn't able to deal with the things he did, the things he saw. Truthfully, he may have played to a weakness with my own personality," Sirius admitted, stroking his forefinger around the rim of his glass. "He didn't know what to do with the new life he was able to live. He was fully willing to do what needed to be done. He made his peace with that. He was at a loose end."

"That doesn't mean the answer to that was to bloody go and de-age himself," Weasley groused.

"Perhaps not," Sirius agreed. "However, on the same note, this was the one thing he's asked of anyone in a very long time. If it doesn't aid him in any way, then we can just hold our hands up as it being a failed experiment. For now, I want to be able to give Harry a better childhood than what he had originally. Maybe that can help ease some of the earlier trauma he suffered."

"You can't undo certain things, Sirius," Granger sighed wistfully.

"I'm willing to try," the older man retorted. "As it stands, Harry doesn't remember any of you, so you're welcome to stop by if and when you can. Just let me know beforehand. Things will be trickier once he ages to eleven again, but we have a little while before that becomes an issue."

Granger looked as though she wanted to lecture Sirius on the blasé attitude, but closed her mouth at the last second.

"Plus, I don't get why we weren't told about Harry's situation, but this blonde git gets to live _in the same house_ as well as knowing about it!"

"Believe me, I've hardly enjoyed watching Potter burp carrots and peas on himself every other night," Draco remarked drily.

Granger frowned at him.

"Draco is here because he has no other family to take care of him whilst he's on probation," Sirius stated.

"I guess that what happens when all your family are Death Eaters."

"Ron!"

"That's enough!" Sirius barked, slamming his fist on the table. They all jumped. "Now you listen to me; I am sick to my back teeth of this petty fighting and all the other pureblood whining bullshit! As long as you are under my roof and in my presence, I will not tolerate an ounce of it. Do you hear me? That goes for all of you.

Furthermore, if anyone has an issue with Draco being here, kindly find a reason for him to leave. He is my family, my blood, and he _stays_. Harry did not fight and die for us, to have this bullshit carry on when he's sleeping just two floors above us! Do not cheapen his sacrifice because you don't like what Draco did to you in school. Bullying does nothing but encourage the crap that got us into this mess in the first place."

Draco glanced at Granger and Weasley. He suppressed a proud smirk at the shameful tint in their cheeks.

Clearing his throat, Sirius straightened his jacket and hair before taking a drink of his iced tea. "Now, are we going to discuss the future terms and conditions of your visiting Harry?"

"We need a contract to see our best friend?" Weasley gaped incredulously.

"If he's your best friend where have you been all summer when he needed you?" Draco couldn't resist snapping back. Merlin's balls, he really did know how to say the wrong thing at the wrong time. He knew perfectly well where they'd been, thanks to Andromeda. Not that they had any reason to believe he would know this.

Before Weasley could open his mouth, Granger replied, "We were in Australia with my parents. There were … complications due to the war. We were helping them make sense of it all. They'll be coming back to the UK by Christmas."

'_Interesting_,' Draco thought. '_Granger's more devious than I gave her credit for_.'

Sirius flicked his wand and summoned a roll of parchment, a bottle of ink and a quill. "Right, let's try and organise this," he muttered to himself, readjusting his position in the chair. "You two will be attending Hogwarts in September, correct?"

"Yes," the Gryffindor's replied in unison.

"So you would have weekends free to do as you please?"

"Depending on what we're studying at the time and any Quidditch practice, if that's even a factor for eighth years, then yes, generally," Granger said.

Sirius nodded and scribbled some notes. "And obviously you'll have to take note of when there's a full moon as you won't be allowed around at that time."

"Surely we could be more help to you then," Granger interjected. "If you wanted to keep Remus company during the full moon, Ron and I could help Draco look after Harry and Teddy."

"Excuse me, I am not Potter's care-giver," Draco ground out. "I just happen to be in the same house."

Sirius did his best to conceal a smile behind his moustache. "Perhaps we should stick with visiting every now and then when you can manage it?" he stated carefully. "We can revisit this after Christmas when Harry has gotten more used to you two, however he's still very wary of strangers. We can't overwhelm him."

Granger frowned a little but didn't argue. What Sirius said was true, it was a wonder Potter didn't cry whenever Draco entered the room. Remembering those vivid green eyes made Draco feel tense and edgy. He took another, long sip of his drink.

"Fine, that's fine," Granger finally said, throwing up her hands in surrender. "I'm too tired to argue anymore. This summer has been nothing but nerves, tension and sleepless nights. I almost don't even want to go back to Hogwarts and deal with more stress …" her voice wavered a little.

Weasley wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders and squeezed. He wasn't looking too well-off either, now that the angry redness and faded.

Sirius reached out and cupped his hand over Granger's. She looked up at him, blinking tears away. "Things will get easier from here on out, Hermione. You just need to have patience."

"How can I when one of my best friends is a toddler?" she sniffed.

Sirius smiled affectionately. "We all deal with things in our own way. Harry de-aged himself and you guys went on your own little mission halfway across the world. You need time to process everything." He paused for a moment before asking, "Are you two okay for a place to stay, or do you want to sleep in one of the spare rooms?"

Draco's heart rate spiked. No, no, no, no! They couldn't stay! He'd be beyond tense until they left the following day. He couldn't deal with the heat, the nightmares and insomnia!

"Oh no that's alright," Granger waved the offer away. "Molly's expecting us back at the Burrow, we just said we were popping by here first." She paused for a moment before her eyes widened. "Molly knows too, doesn't she?"

Sirius nodded.

"Merlin's fucking bollocks!" Weasley snapped, kicking at the table leg as he stood up. "I'm going to have serious words with her when we get in!"

"Oh, Ron, just leave it be! We know now, let's just leave it alone."

"No, she could have warned us what we were in for!"

"We made her swear not to, along with Andromeda and Arthur. It's too risky for Harry's protection," Sirius stated. "You two must adhere to the agreement also."

"Of course," Granger said reflexively. "We're not idiots, we kept Harry's secrets all through the build-up to the war, we're not about to be careless now."

It would have been a weak argument from anyone else, but even Draco had to admit that the whole reason Rita Skeeter had to make up crap about Potter was because she could never find out any real gossip about the Boy Wonder.

.

.

Granger and Weasley stayed until their glasses were empty before Sirius escorted them out towards the floo in the front parlour. The distant roar of the flames carrying them away was almost comforting to Draco. He sat, rigid as a board at the kitchen table, staring at his unfinished drink. He couldn't deny his relief at them finally leaving. He felt like he could breathe again, as though he wasn't walking on glass.

"That went a lot better than I expected," Sirius said from behind him as he closed the kitchen door. He dropped down onto the level flooring, and collapsed into the nearest chair. He sighed heavily before catching sight of Draco's deadpan expression. "Despite the rather poky beginning on your end."

Draco rolled his eyes, "Yeah well, Weasley always did have a temper on him. Apparently the war hasn't helped."

Sirius snorted. "I don't see why it would."

Draco didn't comment. He drained the last of his drink, grimacing at the gritty sugar residue at the bottom.

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep tonight?" Sirius asked his voice low, almost caring.

Draco shrugged. "I guess I'll just have to see."

"You're welcome to wake me up if things are getting a bit too hard on you, you know?" Sirius said. "Just give me a good kick to wake me and I'll help you in any way I can."

"You don't need to lose sleep over me," Draco stated. "I can deal with this on my own."

"I'm aware," the older man said. "I'm merely saying that you don't have to do that anymore, not if you don't want to."

Draco closed his eyes and drew in deep, calming breaths. "I think I'll head up now if you don't mind. It's been a taxing evening."

Sirius gave a silent nod, his eyes following the blonde teen as he walked out of the kitchen.

The stairs creaked so loudly it was a wonder that Walburga didn't start screaming from where her portrait had been buried in the back garden.

Nothing had changed, not really. As Draco lie on top of his bed-covers, the sticky heat making him perspire and fidget relentlessly in the stiff gloom, he couldn't help but feel physically sick at having seen Weasley and Granger earlier that evening. He'd thought he'd done a decent job of blocking out the worst parts of the war, only having to suffer the snippets in his deepest of nightmares.

However, seeing two ghosts from said nightmares was terrifying.

They didn't plead for him to kill them, to spare them, to rid them of their pain by any means possible.

They didn't laugh and leave him to burn in the Fiendfyre.

They didn't come to his trial just to throw owl shit at him.

"I'm _not_ weak!" he growled under his breath, his sweaty hands clenching into fists. "I am a Malfoy! Malfoy's are not weak! We rise above all that makes others weak!"

The words rang hollow in his ears.

If Malfoy's were not weak, then how come his father was in Azkaban? Was that his medal of honour? If Malfoy's were not weak, then why did Narcissa and Draco quietly accept their fates and go about life as though nothing has changed for them?

He was a coward.

He _was_ weak.

A raw sob scratched out of his throat. He pressed his hands over his mouth, trying to suffocate the sobs and the hot tears that bubbled inside his head but refused to come out of his eyes. He lie there, trembling on his bed for a good twenty minutes before his stomach churned and he had to run to the bathroom.

He dry-heaved over the bowl, only a bit of stomach acid and phlegm dribbling out.

He took his time making sure that nothing else was coming up.

Drawing in deep breaths, Draco pulled the chain and sat on the bathroom floor, hunched over with his sweaty face in his hands. It was cooler in the bathroom at least, despite this one not having a window. Once he'd managed to calm himself down and force himself to stand, he brushed the foul taste out of his mouth and rinsed with a peppermint flavoured concoction. Rinsing his mouth out one last time, he avoided looking at his reflection head-on, before heading out onto the landing, turning the light off manually as he went.

At the end of the landing, he paused.

Turning left, he found himself in front of Sirius' door. There was a dull gold light dancing under the doorframe.

Drawing in a deep breath, he pushed the door open.

Sirius was asleep, splayed out like a starfish across his bed. Draco was torn between wanting to see Sirius wake up just so that he wasn't alone in his suffering, and skulking back to his own room and not cause more drama.

However, the promise of a long, sleepless night was enough to make him reach out and prod his cousin's shoulder.

"Sirius?" he hissed quietly, almost wanting the man to not hear him. "Sirius!" He full-on shoved the older man onto his side.

A hand shot out and grabbed his arm, the other pointing a wand to his face.

Mania ebbed out of the steely blue eyes as realisation dawned on Sirius. "Sorry, Draco," he gushed, tossing his wand aside and gripping the blonde by the shoulders. Draco could feel the adrenaline thrumming in his palms. "Force of habit," he hedged, before bending down to peer into Draco's eyes. "You haven't slept," he observed.

"N-no," Draco swallowed thickly, the grip on his shoulders making him regret his decision.

"You went up before me."

He simply nodded.

Sirius' eyes softened as did his death grip on Draco's shoulders. "Climb on in, I promise I'll keep my hands to myself."

Tense, tired and an over-wired brain going a million miles an hour, Draco tried to retreat to the door. "Sorry, this was a mistake. I'll go."

He was halfway out of the door before Sirius called out, "Draco, I promised you, you could come to me if this became an issue again." A pause. "We don't have to talk about but if it helps you sleep for now, I'm here."

Why was it so tempting?

Why, why, why?

Releasing his grip on the door-handle, Draco let it fall closed in its frame before turning to observe Sirius in his king sized bed. Finally, he pursed his lips and nodded, going to the other side of the bed and laid down on the cool covers. Sirius reclined back onto the pillows without saying another word; he merely offered Draco a soft understanding smile, before lacing his fingers cross his chest and closing his eyes.

The floating orbs dimmed their light, making it easier for Draco to relax.

Soon enough, Sirius fell back asleep, his gently snores almost a comfort compared to the voices that screamed in his nightmares. Subconsciously, his breathing pattern seemed to sync with his cousin's and within the hour, Draco fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**A/N: How are we feeling about Sirius' relationship with Draco? I'm sorry baby-Harry wasn't here to lighten your hearts, but he was having a much needed snooze!**


	13. Chapter 12: September

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: To clear up some points people on here and Archive of Our Own STILL are not grasping with this story (yes, these are all true);**

**1\. I do not, and have never, condoned the fact that Draco used Unforgivable curses on Katie Bell and Rosmerta as well as accidentally poisoning Ron.**

**2\. This is a slow build story, so Draco will NOT be having wet-dreams and shagging a CHILD HARRY POTTER. Any and all reviews based on this will continue being deleted.**

**3\. Draco will be allowed back at Hogwarts once a week to hand in assignments and eventually, sit his exams. Each and every time he will be escorted by Aurors and / or Remus and Sirius. He is still on probation and has had his magic suppressed and his wand confiscated. He has no immediate means for performing magic or harming anyone.**

**4\. Draco was a bully. Sad, but yes he was. He tormented Harry and his friends for years. He no doubt learned that from his father, who was also a bully.**

**5\. I do not condemn Draco, who was sixteen, for doing everything in his power to help protect his family, even if that meant becoming a Death Eater. However, he did not want to kill, all his attempts were shoddy at best. Draco is really smart so if he had wanted to kill Dumbledore I have no doubt he could have managed easily enough. His heart simply wasn't in it; he may have been a bully but he isn't a murderer.**

**6\. Ron may have been a victim of Draco's, by mistake, but at this moment, he was the one who launched an unprovoked attack on a defenceless wizard in his own home. Bit of a dick move, regardless of history.**

**7\. Sirius is not defending Death Eaters, he is defending DRACO, as his own, lone person. As his estranged cousin who needs help. Sirius followed the trial and accepted custody. The man has been through two wars and barely has family left. He saw a chance to help, to make a bit of a difference, a home when Draco had nothing else, and gave it. Just like the Potters gave to him when he ran away from home. He is helping a young boy with nowhere else to go.**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

.

_**~ September ~**_

.

As September first crept up on them, Sirius and Remus attempted to get the occupants of Number Twelve into a more stable routine in order to allow both of them to work a set number of lessons during the week, and have enough time at home. It seemed to go well for the most part. They would rotate who would cook on what night, which meant Draco had to learn how to use the muggle cooker, there was just no way around it. Remus had even devised a system on a black board in the kitchen; everyone would cook at least two nights in the week, with one take-away on the Saturday night.

It was unanimously decided that, on the weeks of the full moon, Sirius and Draco would take over Remus' duties, fifty-fifty.

That also meant, getting Potter into some idea of a routine, too.

This was the part Draco detested. He shouldn't really be expected to help Potter toddle to the bathroom before his bedtime, or to make sure he brushed his teeth properly. That was all Sirius, hands down.

Draco just about remembered to brush his own teeth before bed, let alone be responsible for another person.

As the days wore on, there was another subject that Draco had been keenly avoiding; shopping for his new school supplies, the lack of money to pay for it that wasn't in his own name, and the fact that at least once a week he was to floo into the school in order to hand in his assignments to the respective professors was enough to make him heave. He had wanted to simply owl them in, however McGonagall had been insistent that he do it in person.

He'd gritted his teeth when he'd agreed to _that_.

.

They had just one week left before term started before Sirius finally sauntered into the kitchen, slapped down the list of books Draco had secreted in his sock drawer on the table and crossed his arms over his chest. Before he could open his mouth to argue, Sirius held a hand up, silencing him. "No excuses. I want you up, dressed like a human being and by the floo in ten minutes. We're getting those supplies whether you liked it or not, Draco Malfoy."

Gritting his teeth, the blonde teen shoved himself to his feet. "Have I ever told you I despise you?" he sneered over his shoulder as he walked towards the kitchen door.

"Countless times," Sirius deadpanned. "It's like my five-a-day."

Draco flipped him off, which earned him a bark of laughter.

He stomped up to his room and flung his wardrobe open, looking for one of the few respectable outfits he had left. He was just fastening the buttons up around his throat when the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end.

Someone was in the room.

Whipping around, his hand reached for a wand that was nowhere to be seen. His sudden movement had startled Potter, who gasped and ducked back around the door frame. Scowling, both at himself and the bug-eyed brat, Draco straightened his shirt forcefully and yanked the bedroom door open. Toddler Potter practically yelped in surprise.

"What're you doing here?" Draco sneered, eyeing the brat's attire of cheap muggle shorts and a basic printed t-shirt.

"Are we going out today?" Potter asked, ignoring Draco's question.

Scowling deeper, he replied, "Yes."

"Where are we going?"

"Shopping."

"What for?"

"Books."

"Why do you need books for?"

"To study magic."

"Oh." Potter was silent for a moment, his little eyebrows furrowing together. "I thought magic wasn't real."

Draco felt something inside him twitch as the sheer absurdity of that comment, child or not. "Of course magic is real. Who on earth told you otherwise?"

Toddler Potter seemed to shrink in on himself, his small shoulders hunching as he fiddled with the strings on his shorts. "Uncle Vernon," was the mumbled reply.

A tirade of insults was at the very tip of his tongue. It was only when the side of the child before him sunk in, did he swallow the words and try to calm the anger inside him. Whom he was angry at, he didn't know. Clearing his throat he felt himself crouching down. "Well you know what that makes your uncle, don't you?"

Potter shook his head, still not looking up.

"That makes him wrong and very, very st-silly."

Large, green eyes looked up at him in awe. It was unsettling seeing an entire world tipped on its head in the toddler's expression. His mouth dropped open and Draco was jolted back to the first time he'd seen Potter enter the Great Hall at Hogwarts; his whole life had been transformed and he relished the thought.

Yet, with a few simple words, he had done the same for Potter.

He suddenly felt very hot and uncomfortable. Why did that make him feel … _good_?

Shaking the thought aside, he stepped out of his room and closed the door behind him. He barely waited for the brat as he made his way towards the staircase, "Come on, scarhead, we're going."

.

Diagon Alley was just as he remembered it, both the good and the bad.

Draco suddenly felt a rush of vertigo as he passed by the bank and the neighbouring shops; the place had been rebuilt in the long months after the war, but there were still empty shop windows, still that weird black scorch mark along some walls. Nothing got rid of curse marks, he knew that all too well.

His forearm itched under the long sleeve of his shirt.

Sirius clapped him on the shoulder and leaned in to murmur in his ear, "We only need to go to a few shops. Then we can have a drink in the Leaky after, if you're up for it?"

"Yeah, sure," Draco swallowed. He wasn't ready for this. He was almost certain Fenrir Greyback was going to lurch out of the shadowy alleyway and slice his claws through his chest.

"Let's just get to Flourish and Blotts before the crowds get bad," Sirius advised. "Come on, Harry. You know the rule, you have to hold my hand."

Harry was distracted, but his hand obligingly shot out and sought Sirius'. His eyes were wide, taking in all the strange and wonderful things that whizzed about in shop windows or drifted overhead.

They made it into Flourish and Blotts without incident, although a few people had shot curious glances down at Potter. Perhaps they were just surprised to see Sirius Black with a toddler in tow.

The smell of parchment and ink hit him with a deep longing unfurling inside him, like being welcomed home after a long journey to a place you hadn't even realised had been missed in the first place. He felt like he was in a trance as he watched books levitate from one shelf to another. It caused an aching chasm to open within his chest. He really missed being able to do magic. While he could study it and pass his theory and written exams, that didn't mean not being able to do the practical side, until after his probation, was like a noose around his neck gradually growing tighter and tighter.

"Don't let it panic you," Sirius murmured as he nudged Draco further into the shop. "We'll get what we came for and back out again, okay?"

Draco nodded, mutely.

It was the tensest fifteen minutes of his life, having to stay near the corners and alcoves while Sirius asked where to find his books. Regardless of the outcome of the trial, Draco was aware of hundreds of eyes passing over him. It was the hair that gave him away before anything else. It made his insides cold as he hunched his shoulders and fingered his lip, pretending to read the spines of the books stacked before him.

"Got them," Sirius announced with a neatly wrapped brown parcel containing –from the feel of it –the ten tomes Draco required for the school year. Anything else could be ordered via owl, but these ones were only available in bookstores. Sirius flicked his wand, shrinking the parcel down to tuck into his pocket. "Where to next?"

"The apothecary?"

"Perfect. That's only three shops down."

The apothecary shop was dimly lit, crowded and gloomy, the scent of various unpleasant ingredients mingling in the stale air. Yet, there was something homey and familiar about it all that set Draco's frantic mind at ease, even just for a few minutes. He eyed the bottles containing eyeballs or twitching fingers, and barely batted an eyelash at the dragon's tongues thrashing about in a jar. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Potter stare up at a jar of eyes and jump out of his skin when all the eyes turned to look at him.

His mouth smirked before he realised what was happening. Forcing the expression off his face, he sighed and strode over to Potter. "Are you scaring the eyeballs, Potter?"

"They scare me."

"I'm sure anything looking at your face would be scared." Looking down, he saw that Potter's puny brain didn't grasp the sarcasm. That made Draco feel … _bad_? He frowned at the idea. Perhaps it just wasn't fun to throw tons of insults at Potter and get nothing back? He did always like their repertoire after all. It was oddly refreshing, even if the dunderhead never thought of anything creative to throw at him. Another sigh escaped him. He reached out a hand and steered the child away from the jar towards a large cage filled with pixies. Their shredded wings cluttered the bottom of the cage and gleamed a brilliant blue. Potter was in awe with them. "Do you like these?"

"What are they?"

"Pixies."

"They sound funny."

Draco smirked, "Yes, they do."

"I've ordered everything you need and it'll be delivered by Friday," Sirius' voice sounded loud and booming in the hushed atmosphere of the shop. Draco flinched a little but tried to show that he wasn't on edge, that he could handle this. Sirius frowned, "What's wrong with Harry?"

It was only then that Draco realised his hand was still on the brat's shoulder. He jerked it away. "Nothing, he's fine. He just wanted to look at the pixies."

A studious expression glimmered in Sirius' eyes but he didn't press the matter. Draco was grateful for that. They made their way out of the shop and into the bustling throng of people rushing from shop to shop to buy their children brand new essentials for their first year at Hogwarts. Draco tried not to feel hot shame as they bustled past.

As they walked towards the bank, Draco felt a weight on the back of his neck. Glancing over his shoulder, he saw a group of teens around his age stood to one side, eyes openly staring at him. They didn't even try to hide how they leaned in and murmured things to one another. He swallowed tightly and hurried to catch up to his cousin.

"Where else do we need to go?" he asked, keeping his head down, eyes averted.

Sirius adjusted his grip on Potter, having insisted he carry the child in a crowded street now, and glanced up at the bank. "I did need to speak to a goblin about some money transfers, but it's not wholly important."

"Please, don't let me stop you."

Sirius took in Draco's hunched, tense appearance and frowned. He'd known this wouldn't have been easy for the teen but he had also known that being holed away all summer wasn't helping things either. It probably didn't help that the dark mouth of Knockturn alley was just within view. Draco needed to face some of the demons lurking in his mind. He'd done well so far. "Maybe we should grab something to eat at the Leaky, how does that sound?"

Draco's expression remained stoic but the relief shone bright in his grey eyes. With a curt nod, they turned and made their way back up the alley towards the brick wall at the back of the Leaky Cauldron.

The more distance Draco put between himself and Knockturn alley, the more his father's voice receded in his head. It never went away completely, though.

Later that evening, Draco stared at the calendar pinned to the kitchen wall. It was such a muggle thing that it made his teeth itch, but Sirius insisted that sometimes it was good to have reminders glaring you in the face. He didn't appreciate how his therapy sessions had been marked in red on Thursdays. Dr. Lisa had been insisting he'd made some 'progress' but he didn't see how. He thought she was just humouring him, she got paid either way. There were only three days left before the autumn term started up.

Three days left until Potter turned three.

Three days left until he would be left to take care of the brat, all day long.

He ground his teeth and sighed, wishing nothing more than to unearth Black's secret stash of alcohol –he knew the man had one –and drown his sorrows in the cellar. He settled for pumpkin juice.

As he made his way back to his bedroom, he listened in at Potter's nursery door; Sirius was in there, his low voice reading a bedtime story as he gently rocked the toddler to and fro in his lap in the rocking chair. Draco moved on to his own room before he was caught again.

.

~0~

.

Potter turned three on a Tuesday night.

He'd been as moody as child could be without any root-cause, but that didn't mean any of it was pleasant to watch. He started to get really hot and restless at about 6pm. Remus had just settled Teddy down for the night and had helped Sirius to bathe Potter in the bathroom before transfiguring his pyjama's to be bigger. They'd dressed him and taken him into the main bedroom. He hadn't eaten any supper.

Draco had watched all this in mute horror as Potter had grown paler by the minute.

The growing-pains starting with gut-wrenching sobs and weeping. Even through the walls, it struck every nerve in Draco's body. It was a wonder he didn't fly from the comfort of his room and into the main bedroom just to see that they weren't actually torturing the kid. He'd laid in the dark, eyes clamped shut and his breathing hard in his ears as Potter's whimpering pierced through his brain.

'_Stop snivelling like that, you brat! Malfoy's don't snot down their clothes!_'

'_No, Daddy, not the cane! Not the cane! I won't do it again, I promise!_'

'_This'll teach you to mind your manners!_'

"It's not real, it's not real!" Draco hissed through gritted teeth, groping at the clammy sheets sticking to his skin. "I'm not at the manor. I'm not with him."

'_Draco, what's this I hear about you getting attacked by a hippogriff?_'

'_It was an accident, father. I was proving a point that the oaf didn't deserve to teach_.'

'_You let yourself get attacked in the process_.'

'_It justifies my point!_'

"Don't do it, don't do it, please don't do it …"

'_Needlessly. Let me see the damage_.'

'_M-Madame Pomphrey already did, father. It's just a few scratches, easily fixed. No scarring_.'

'_I'll be the judge of that_.'

"No, no, no, no, no …"

'_FUCK! SHIT! YOU BROKE MY FUCKING ARM!_'

'_Maybe next time you won't be so careless as to jeopardise my position at the school, boy._'

Draco scrambled over the edge of the bed, barely thinking in his actions as he slid across the wooden floorboards. He hyperventilated as he pressed against a wall, clawing at his hair, his skin, his clothes, making sure everything was real. He as real, he was _here_ and not at the manor. His father was in prison, he couldn't touch him here.

He took in the dark shadows of his room and a fresh wave of fear overwhelmed him. Hot tears ran down his cheeks. Cupping his hands over his mouth, he choked on rough, wet breaths as he listened to his heart drumming away.

"It's not real! It's not real!" he ground out through gritted teeth. He could hear the bone crunching together in his jaw. "It's not fucking real!"

His left arm felt prickly, where the mark had been. _Was_. It was never going away, not even if it had discoloured and scabbed over.

Raising his arm to his mouth, he bit deep into the flesh, relishing in the sparks of pain shooting up his arm. His head banged against the wall, a steady thumping rhythm that eventually drew Remus to his doorway.

The light was like a solar flare in his eyes.

"Draco what're you doing?!"

"Leave me alone!"

His arm was yanked away from his face. He tasted blood. He kept his eyes shut, not wanting to see the damage. "Oh, Draco …" The tip of a wand pressed against his flesh. Remus murmured something and drew patterns with the wand. His skin stung, earning a gasp from his raw throat, but when Draco opened his eyes, the scabbed scar was exactly as it had been yesterday.

No blood and no bite marks to be seen.

"Do you want to tell me what this was about?"

Draco tensed. "I had a nightmare."

"About what?"

"My father."

Remus was silent for a moment but didn't press. Instead, he took Draco's arm and lifted him to his feet. The motion made the blonde's head spin, but he staggered against Remus for support as they made their way out of the room and down the landing towards Sirius' room. Draco only realised where they were when the dim golden light glowed in his face. He shied away from it, recoiling into himself.

Sirius watched them from his position half-propped up on his elbow and a pillow, his left hand gently rubbing circles over Potter's tummy. It looked so tender and soothing that fresh tears sprang to Draco's eyes. Why had no one ever rubbed his tummy when he was poorly?

He rubbed roughly at his face, trying to stifle any sobs that threatened to come out. Remus touched his shoulder to see if he was okay, but he shoved off the comforting hand, despite aching to make a grab for it.

"Draco, come and sleep in here with us tonight," Sirius kept his voice low so that Potter didn't stir.

"No," he choked out. "I'm fine."

This time Remus managed to get an arm around his shoulders and Draco gave-in. He let himself be guided to the side of the bed facing the window. Sirius was in the middle with Potter on the side Draco was expected to climb into. He froze at the thought. Another nudge from Remus made him swallow what dregs he had left of his pride and climb in under the sheet.

He listened to Remus pad around the bed and slip in on Sirius' other side, giving him easy access for when Teddy fussed during the night.

Draco made a point of lying on his side, facing away from the others. He didn't want to talk, no good would come of his talking. His throat was sore, his eyes ached and every muscle was quivering with adrenaline. A shiver ran through him and he drew the bed sheet up around his shoulders.

"Did he tell you what happened?" Sirius' low voice caught his attention a little while later. He strained to hear what the older man was saying without being too obvious.

"He said he was having a nightmare about his father," Remus replied softly. "I don't know what triggered it. Maybe Harry being ill? I don't know for sure."

"Do you think Harry and Draco will be okay together when we're working?"

"One of us will always be at home, Paddy."

"I know, I know," the older man sighed. "I just worry. They weren't exactly friends to begin with."

"Are you letting what Ron and Hermione said, get to you?"

"Not that specifically. I wanted to be there for Harry, to give him a better childhood away from that abusive family." Sirius paused, choosing his words carefully, "That maybe some of these memories could give him a better foundation for dealing with memories of the war."

"You know it could always go the other way, though," Remus sighed, shuffling about under the sheets. Maybe they were facing each other now? "Harry might so get confused about all these memories. He might become paranoid, trying to figure out which memories are real and which are fake."

"They'd all be real."

"Precisely my point."

Sirius hummed in thought. "I'm hoping some of the good memories we make now, will show Harry that he deserved much more than just being a pawn in the game of war. That he has so much to keep living for. That he didn't need to just accept death like that …"

"I know, Paddy, I know. I suppose we all wish we could have a different childhood, one way or the other."

Another shuffle. "You wouldn't know you'd get bitten."

"True," Remus murmured. "It's a part of me now, for better or for worse. Tonks was able to see past it, just like you and James were able to."

There was a latch in his voice that Draco hadn't heard before. It made his heart clench in his chest.

"Remy, if I'm making this too hard for you –"

"The alternative is to be alone with a baby who looks so much like his mother that sometimes it pains me too much to even look at him, let alone hold him."

There was a heavy silence hanging over the bed.

Potter huffed and fidgeted in his sleep, rolling awkwardly so that a chubby arm or leg nudged against Draco's back. He froze, refusing to feel grateful for the small limb of warmth.

He stayed awake, long after the floating orbs dulled to a deep burning glow, like that of a dying ember, straining his ears to see if Sirius and Remus would talk anymore about the issues that plagued them. At some point Potter starting fussing again, making little mewling noises as he fidgeted in the bed. Sirius grunted and curled the kid closer against him, stroking his hand and pressing kisses to his flushed hands and cheeks.

Draco felt a bead of envy turning over and over inside him, until all the emotions caught up with him and he fell asleep.

.

The following morning Draco was awoken by the sound of strange music coming from downstairs in the kitchen. He huffed and rolled onto his back, taking a moment to trace his fingers down his left forearm and frowning. Had he really tried to bite the mark from his arm? He grimaced at the thought.

Glancing over at the other side of the bed, he was surprised to see that Remus, Sirius and even Teddy had disappeared from the room, leaving only Draco and Harry sound asleep in the king sized bed.

Draco reached instinctively for a wand to cast '_tempus'_ and felt jilted when his hand closed around air.

"Shit," he grunted, rolling back over.

He almost yelped when something tugged at his shirt.

Glancing down he saw that Potter had edged closer to the only thing providing any warmth in that moment; him. He tried to pry the little hand off of his shirt, but Potter frowned in his sleep and held on tighter.

"You little git, let go!" Draco hissed.

Potter, as always, ignored him.

"Come on, Potter, this isn't funny. Let me go."

Still nothing.

Draco licked his lips feeling tense all over. "H-Harry, please let go."

To his surprise and disappointment, Potter released the hold on his shirt. That didn't stop him from waking up though. He rolled against the pillow, his lanky small limbs looking swamped in the pyjamas that should have fit him. Draco frowned; maybe Remus and Sirius needed to focus more on feeding Potter? He'd always looked half-starved when he returned from his summer holidays.

Were the muggles really to blame for it all?

"Draco?"

He flinched at the voice. It was high-pitched but unmistakably Potter's.

Potter was awake, his sleepy eyes peering up at Draco as though trying to focus properly on him. He kept his voice in a childish stage-whisper when he asked, "Where is everyone?"

"Downstairs," he replied tightly.

"Oh." Green eyes dropped down. "Can I sleep some more?"

"Do what you want."

Draco made a protesting sound when Potter wriggled closer and curled himself against Draco's chest, his arms winding their way around the teen's arm. He burrowed into Draco's pillow and was out like a light before Draco could tell him to bugger off!

Now he was trapped.

What had happened? Why was Potter hugging him? What the hell were Sirius and Remus doing that they weren't coming in to check on them? Glancing towards the window, Draco frowned at how dark it was beyond the curtains. It was probably barely even 6am. Everyone was awake and Potter, whom he'd always assumed was an early riser, was content to curl up against his childhood bully and sleep some more?

The idea was ludicrous!

However, if Weasley could see them now –Draco grinned at the thought. So, Potter liked him now? That was interesting. The Weasley would probably implode with jealousy if he knew how much Potter liked to cuddle.

~0~

"Draco?"

The teens head jerked up at the sound of his name being called. He'd been so engrossed in his new potions book that he hadn't heard Remus' approaching footsteps. He relaxed a little, marking his place in the book and straightening up on the sofa in the 'study'. He hadn't understood why it was called a 'study' and not an 'office' since that's what the room clearly was, but he didn't want to show how ignorant he was of all things muggle.

"Yes?"

"Would you be okay to watch Harry for a little while?"

He blanched and tensed instantly as the thought. Potter had last been seen colouring nonsense pictures at the kitchen table while Remus had fed his own spawn mushed carrots.

"Why?"

"I want Andromeda to take Teddy for the evening to get him settled since I'm on rota for tomorrow. I thought it'd be easier to go now rather than wake him up later."

"Okay. When will you be back?"

"In an hour or two. If you like, you can start getting dinner ready?"

Draco knew the man was teasing, but he still felt himself bristle. "No, thank you. I think we can wait until you get back."

Remus smirked at him before inclining his head. "Very well, you can help me when I do."

Draco didn't bother to reply. Instead, he turned his attention back to his book, making it clear to Remus that he wanted to be left alone. He felt tense and flustered as the werewolf lingered in the doorway for a moment, his left arm prickling with the scrutiny. Finally, Remus made his way back downstairs, humming to himself.

Sometime later, there was the distant sound of the floo activating.

Draco let a sigh escape, reclining back on the sofa and crossing his legs as he resumed reading. His peace and quiet didn't last long, however, as Potter decided that was the moment he wanted to bug the living shit out of him.

"Draco!"

The blonde flinched, but didn't look away from his book.

"Draco! Do you want to play with me?"

"No."

"Please? Only a little one?"

"I said 'no' snot-face." Since he couldn't swear in front of Potter, he needed to put a little bit more thought into the insults he came up with.

Two large green eyes peered up over the top of his book. If he twitched his leg just a little, he could knock Potter aside with his knee. He bit back a sigh and raised his eyes to Potter's.

"What game?"

"You pick!"

Draco felt a muscle tic. "How about one where I don't have to look at your face?"

Potter screwed his little face up in concentration. The idea went off like a 'lumos' on his face. "How about hide and seek? I'm really good at that one! Dudley never finds me."

Just like that, the light went out.

Draco frowned at the sudden silence.

In a small voice Potter whispered, "Dudley isn't going to play with me, is he?"

Frowning even deeper, Draco said, "No, Dudley won't be here. Do you not like playing with him?"

"No," Potter shook his head, hands twisting together and his eyes darting everywhere but at Draco. "He likes to sit on me."

Something stabbed at Draco's heart. Potter looked twitchy, his eyes had a lost, far-off look that children shouldn't have. His insides twisted up even more and before he knew it, he'd set his book aside and leaned over on the sofa so that he was almost eye-level with Potter.

"Okay," he conceded. "I'll count, you go and hide somewhere."

Potter beamed up at him. "Okay! You have to count to one hundred. That's the rules!"

Draco rolled his eyes, "I know the rules, brat. Now go and hide."

Potter spun in a circle and hurried out the door. Draco counted loudly and got all the way up to thirteen before he got distracted by his book again. He had every intention of going to look for Potter. As soon as he got to one hundred.

.

.

When Remus returned to Grimmauld place that evening, it was to find Draco at the kitchen table with a glass of pumpkin juice and a half-eaten tart on the table in front of him. His pointed nose was almost buried in the potions book he was reading and Harry was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Harry?"

Draco jumped in his seat, spinning around to glare at Remus. "Knock for Merlin's sake!" he snapped.

Remus smirked and cocked an eyebrow. "I see you've kept yourself entertained," he commented drily. "Now would you like to tell me where my child's infant godfather is?"

Draco frowned, "You made Potter your kids' godfather?" Remus nodded. "Well, good luck with that."

Rolling his eyes, Remus flicked his wand at the kettle on the hob. The fire sparked up instantly. He walked around to snag a few biscuits from the tin on the counter and turned to repeat his question to Draco, when he spotted a little figure crouched under the kitchen table. Harry raised a finger to his lips and let a soft 'shh' float into the air. Remus bit back a smile and returned his gaze to the blonde teen. Either he was completely aware that Harry was right at his feet and was skilled at keeping emotions off his face, or he was about to get the fright of his life.

"Is Sirius back yet?"

"No, but he did say he might not be back before seven."

Remus hummed to himself and began flicking his wand at pots and pans, and a string of utensils from the drawers. "Better make ourselves useful then and get dinner started."

Draco rolled his eyes but got up regardless. As he was passing by the table, Harry sprung up and yelled "BOO!"

"Ah! You scared me, Potter!" Draco exclaimed in mock-despair, even going as far as to 'swoon'. "You gave me a heart attack."

Harry bounced and laughed. "That serves you right for not finding me!"

Remus tried to control his laughter, but it was so damned difficult, watching Draco smile wryly at his school nemesis. Grabbing Harry under his arms, Remus hoisted him up and rested him on his hip. "Alright young man, Paddy will be home soon. We're going to make dinner, so why don't you get cleaned up and put your jammies on?"

Harry nodded eagerly. Remus set him down and watched as he scurried out of the kitchen on clumsy legs chanting, "Daddy's coming home! Daddy's coming home!"

Remus felt a shameful flush creep up the back of his neck.

"You know that's going to be a problem in a few months' time, right?" Draco broke through the heavy silence.

"We'll deal with that when we come to it," he sighed. "For now let's focus on making Bolognese."

Draco grabbed a knife and resigned himself to chopping onions. He tried to think of it as prepping for potions. It made the task a little easier to stomach.

"So, did you really not find him?"

Draco shrugged, chopping away. "I got distracted the first time and he came and told me off after twenty minutes. After that, he insisted I hid first," Draco rolled his eyes. "I didn't even really hide, I just sort of stood behind the bookcase a little."

Remus chuckled. "What about just now?"

"I saw him under the table as soon as I walked in. Thought I'd let him have his fun."

The older man hummed thoughtfully as he let the water boil in the saucepan. "Did you ever think that, after the war, you'd be playing hide-and-seek with Harry?"

The way Draco's shoulders tensed was enough to make Remus go on the defensive. However, Draco merely let out a strained, "No," before continuing to chop up the onions. They continued to work in relative silence until the roar of the floo resounded from the fireplace.

Sirius was home.

* * *

**A/N: So I hope you guys liked the update, lots of drama as you can see! If you loved it, please R&R x**


	14. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: For anyone who STILL seems to be confused about the ageing process in this story; Harry ages one year per month. Hence why whenever it's a new month, I mention that he has aged again.**

**Took thirteen chapters to get that across ... wow ...**

**Also, updates may be sparse as my laptop is on it's last legs so please bear with me? Thank you! x**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

.

"Would you like a cup of tea?"

Draco tore his gaze away from the window and raised a questioning eyebrow at Dr. Lisa. "Do you think tea is going to help me, here?"

He felt sick at what she'd just witnessed. She had encourage him to let her visit some of his most recent memories in a pensive, so she could gain a better understanding of his mental state. He had been resistant, at first, however it was either showing her what was going on in his life, or having to talk about it.

He refused to talk.

So he flinched as she pressed the tip of her wand to his temple and he watched in mute horror as a long, silvery thread wrapped around the wand and then floated down into the pensive. He'd dug his nails into his thighs as he watched her bow over the pensive and press her face into the surface. It didn't take long, perhaps about fifteen minutes, before she resurfaced. Her features were a little paler, a little more pinched than before, but she kept her voice on the same, neutral level as always.

This unnerved him.

Now she was offering _tea_?

She smiled that warm, natural smile that made his insides recoil. "I find that there's not much that can't be cured with a good cup of tea."

"Fine," he bit out. "Two sugars."

Dr. Lisa didn't admonish him for not saying 'please' as mother would have. He was grateful for that. He absently picked at the cloth of the armchair to keep his hands occupied until the mug was handed to him. She took her seat across from him resting her own mug on her knees. "So tell me how the last week has been for you?"

"Stressful. Lupin and Black are rotating work; when one's at the castle, the other's mostly confined to the office. It means I have to help them cook dinner most nights."

"How're you finding the cooking?"

He shrugged. "Easy, I suppose. It's almost like potions."

"Except you like to digest the end result," Dr. Lisa grinned. "How are you coping with Harry?"

Draco tensed, his eyes staring down at his mug. Dr. Lisa had been bound to secrecy about Potter's special circumstances. If she tried to communicate it with anyone other than Sirius, Remus, or Minerva, her voice simply wouldn't work. A little extreme, but you couldn't be too careful in this day and age.

He took a sip of his tea to calm himself.

"It's trying. He can talk now, which means he never shuts up. Always hounding me to play with him."

"What happens when you don't?"

"He clams up, goes quiet, and brings up one of his muggle relatives. Or just stares off into space."

Dr. Lisa hummed. "Has being around such erratic change brought up any issues for you?"

He felt cold all over. "What do you mean?" he asked quietly.

"Like nightmares, for example. Or hallucinations. All these can be common with PTSD."

He frowned down at his lap. "Is that what I have?" he mumbled, more to himself. He was too tired to argue with her today. How could four little letters sum up the magnitude of what he, and others, had been through over the last year? It seemed absurd. She hadn't mentioned it in any of their previous sessions, so why was she digging deeper now? Perhaps she'd smelled his weakness and finally pounced? Ugh, he really couldn't deal with this today.

"It's likely a part of it, yes."

He gulped down more tea, letting the shivers run through his body. "I've had one or two nightmares, yes."

"Have you been seeing things that aren't there?"

_He could still remember the sting as his teeth broke his skin, how the blood lingered on his tongue for the rest of the night …_

"Not that I can remember, no."

"Then again, I suppose even if you did, you wouldn't tell me, right?"

A muscle ticked in his jaw. Damn her.

She smiled patiently and drunk from her own mug. It was unnerving how at ease she felt in her office. "Are you nervous about returning to Hogwarts tomorrow?" she asked, the sudden turn of conversation having the desired effect.

Draco stuttered a little, his brain going into overdrive to catch-up with what was being said. "Of course I am! It doesn't take a genius to work that out!"

"Who is going to be escorting you?"

"Lupin is on rota for the day and an Auror, Buxley."

"How long will you be at the school for?"

"Not longer than an hour," he stated stiffly. "I want to get in and out as fast as I can. No use looking for trouble."

"People will no doubt cause a problem for you," Dr. Lisa surmised.

"I'm aware."

"How do you plan to combat that?"

He glared up at her. "I _can't_ combat that. I'm a walking target. Not to mention, I doubt Buxley would care if someone threw a stinging hex my way. He's probably claim he never saw it happen!"

"What about Harry's friends? Couldn't they help you?"

Draco snorted, draining the last of his tea just to have something to do. "Weasley and Granger are tolerating my right to breathe as long as I'm living under Sirius' roof. That's all. For all I know, Weasley will be punching me in the nose as soon as there's no eyes on me."

Dr. Lisa frowned across at him. "You really don't believe anyone is on your side, do you?"

"Why would I? I'm perfectly aware of the gigantic cock-up I've made of myself. The least I owe to myself is get a decent enough education and get the hell out of here."

"Where do you plan to go?"

He shrugged stiffly. "I don't know. Somewhere secluded. Away from all the horror I've caused." He swallowed, looking down at his hands folded in his lap. He rubbed his lips together in thought. "I don't … I don't belong around people. I don't deserve to be near anyone."

Dr. Lisa didn't say anything, she simply waited for him to continue.

"I bring bad luck and do bad things to those around me. Keeping myself away from society is the best thing for everyone."

"Draco, you've been giving a chance to redeem yourself –"

"I didn't want it," he said. "I never asked for a second chance. Sure, Azkaban terrifies me, it terrifies everyone who even _hears_ the name. But I _know_ I'm not a good person. I'm like poison."

"Draco, you need to allow yourself to open up to those around you. You've kept everyone at arms length but this isn't a healthy way to live. You need to embrace what options you have now and make the best of all you've been given. It's rare people get such an opportunity, but it all starts with letting people help."

"Help?" he scoffed before meeting her eyes for the first time in forty minutes. "Who the fuck is going to help me now?"

~0~

Remus' office was a strange mix of skulls in jars, a large fish tank with a grindylow inside and an enclosure that didn't seem to hold anything in it at all, and all the ridiculous crap Sirius owned in regards to graphic illustrations of wand movements, an autographed photo of some Quidditch team from the sixties, a bookcase with strange, glowing bottles and framed photos from the Daily Prophet of the convicted Death Eaters. Draco was relieved not to see his own parents up there.

There were two desks sitting facing one another and there was no doubt which one belonged to which professor; Remus' was neat and meticulous, everything straight and organised properly, books in a tidy pile and scrolls rolled up and tied with ribbon set to one side, whereas Sirius' desk had ink spots on the blotter, muggle post-it notes stuck on his ink well and sand-timer, as well as a stack of books that looks as though he'd tossed them onto the desk from a fair distance.

Brushing soot from his casual robes, Draco smoothed his hair down and adjusted his bag on his shoulder. Remus ruffled his own hair and with a flick of his wand, swapped his travelling cloak for his work robes.

"How're you feeling?" he asked as he straightening himself up and regarded Draco with a concerned look.

The teen gripped the strap of his bag a little tighter. "Fine," he said stiffly, grey eyes flitting around the room again. "I just want to get this over and done with."

Remus pursed his lips and nodded. "I have lessons for most of the day. If you want to hang around until lunch time, I'll be here."

Draco clenched his jaw and shook his head. "I really don't plan to stay longer than necessary. Besides, someone needs to check-in on Sirius. I don't think ex-prisoner and saviour of the wizarding world turned toddler are a great combination for baking cakes."

Remus smiled. Draco was witty, even if it was mostly sarcasm at the moment. It was just a shame he kept himself closed-off. "Okay," he relented. "If you're still about at lunch, I'll come and find you. If not, I'll see you at dinner tonight."

Draco bowed his head. "Thanks."

.

He made his way out of the DADA room before the bell for first period chimed. The corridors were mostly deserted, most of the student body being in the Great Hall for breakfast, or just getting out of bed to hurry to class. He just hoped that he could make it to the dungeons before the first period of the day began.

Stepping down into the damp, dark classroom brought a wave of memories crashing into him. He staggered against the doorframe for a moment, his head swimming and his breathing a little too fast. The stone wall was cool and moist under his palm. He focused on that, letting a chill creep over his body until he was able to force himself upright.

Letting out a low sigh, he straightened himself up as much as possible and gingerly knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

Draco closed his eyes, drew in a deep breath, and pushed his way into the classroom.

It was empty. Good. That was a good start.

Professor Slughorn looked up from where he was preparing notes on his desk. His wide face frowned at being disturbed and then recognition alighted in those watery blue eyes. "Ah Mr. Malfoy," his voice wavered. He tilted his head back, regarding Draco almost wearily. "Is that time already?"

Draco gripped his bag tighter. "I just thought I'd hand my assignments in before classes got underway. No use distracting the students."

Extending a hand, the rotund man took the sheaf of parchments from Draco. He unrolled them and became absorbed in Draco's practically perfect essay. They may not have liked nor agreed with one another on a number of things, but Draco knew that his knowledge on potions could surpass any of the students combined. It was the one thing he was still proud of, to some degree. He watched as Slughorn's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He took a small burst of adrenaline from watching it happen, but refused to let it show on his face.

"I see isolation doesn't hinder you in regards to potions, Mr. Malfoy," Slughorn said as neutrally as possible. "Perhaps after Christmas we can discuss actual potion making?"

Draco frowned, "After one essay?"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm still not all that fond of you dear boy," he said. "However, I recognise talent when I see it. Talent cannot go un-mastered … We've all seen what happens in that regard."

A dark cloud passed over his face.

"Still, keep up the work to this same level, and we shall discuss practical potion making in the near future."

Draco stared at the shorter man dumbly. Had he really just heard him right? Not wanting to push his luck and question anything going his way, Draco swallowed and inclined his head, "Very well, sir. I'll see what I can do."

Straining to control himself he turned on his heel and left the dungeons.

.

Within the hour, Draco had almost finished handing in his assignments when he felt something snag hard on his casual robes. The clasp choked him as his back slammed into the brick wall. Gasping for air, he tried to resist sagging into a heap on the floor as several shadows blocked out the sunlight streaming in from above.

"What're you doing here Malfoy?" an unfamiliar voice sneered. "Shouldn't you be rotting away in Azkaban like your dad?"

_Dad, eh? Not purebloods then._

Glaring up at his assailants, he just about made out two Gryffindor badges and a Ravenclaw one. The others were too far behind the gang-leaders to make out.

"Clearly not," he drawled, bracing himself to stand. "You're not exactly smart are you?"

"You calling us thick?" sneered the tallest boy, a Gryffindor. He still only reached Draco's nose.

"You must be," Draco said in a bored tone. His hand was tremoring but the long sleeves of his robes hid it. "If I'm as dangerous as you claim me to be, then why do you think attacking and _provoking_ me, is a good idea?"

He levelled his glare at the younger teen.

Several hands moved. Draco felt a muscle tic in his jaw. Reaching for their wands to attack an unarmed wizard? How cowardly.

"What's this then?"

All heads whipped around to spy Hermione Granger and Ron Wealsey glaring at the proceedings, their own wands in hand. Draco felt a mixture of relief, humiliation and disgust at their prompt arrival. No one answered.

"I said, what's going on?" Granger snapped, her voice hardening.

Still, no one answered.

"Fine, if no one's going to answer me; Aldridge, McTaff, Lin, fifty points from Gryffindor each."

"Are you taking the mick?!"

Weasley glared at the others, "As for you, Tinley, Mullocks and Jasper, that's fifty points from Ravenclaw each. All six of you will have a months worth of detention and be banned from any extracurricular activities until the end of November."

"You can't do that!" one of the Ravenclaw's cried out. "It's the quarter finals!"

"I just did," Ron stated, his voice low and menacing.

Draco was impressed; Weasley had never appeared that menacing before.

"Back to your classes now. I shall be informing the headmistress of this," Granger snapped, her voice cracking through the air like a whip.

No one dared to argue with her.

Once the gang was out of sight and earshot, Granger turned to Draco, concern on her face as he avoided eye-contact by straightening himself down. His hands were shaking and he felt sick. "They didn't hurt you did they Draco?"

"No," he bit out. "You got here just in time." His voice sounded a lot harsher than he intended. He winced at it and sighed. "Thanks."

The pair shared a look. "We were actually wondering if we might be able to come and see Harry on Saturday?" Granger asked, "If you're free, that is. We wouldn't want to disrupt any plans."

Draco shrugged. "I'm house-bound, so obviously I have no plans. Although Sirius hasn't mentioned doing anything. I'll get him to owl or floo or something."

Granger gave him a hopeful smile, "That would be great." She hesitated, the tension between them still thick like treacle. "Uh … would you like us to bring anything?"

Draco clenched his jaw, trying his best to remain calm. All he wanted to do was lock himself in the bathroom and claw at his skin until he could no longer feel those boys' shadows on him, but he couldn't. Not yet.

"No, I'll sure any assignments will get owled to me." Before they could ask anything else he said, "Sorry, I have to get back. Sirius was making lunch."

He turned on his heel and hurried back to Remus' office.

.

Stumbling through into the lounge, Draco shredded off his robes and threw it onto the sofa along with his messenger bag. He staggered up the stairs, grappling blindly at the banister and finally managed to make it to his room. He slammed the door shut and dove for his bed, tugging at his hair as the tears ran down his face. He pressed his hands over his mouth and screamed behind clenched teeth.

He hated feeling so weak and emotional.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be! He wasn't supposed to be living with his cousin and learning how to live without magic. He didn't know what the outcome would have been, alternatively, but it wasn't meant to be this!

He choked on his screams and cried until he'd exhausted himself.

Was it even worth carrying on?

.

When Remus returned to Grimmauld place that night it was to see a perturbed looking Sirius at the kitchen table, stirring a mug of black coffee with a spoon. Plumes of steam rose from the mug but the older man did not take a sip. Frowning, Remus stepped down into the kitchen and placed a hand on Sirius' shoulder, startling him.

"Oh, hey Remmy. I didn't hear you come in."

Remus wanted to say how he doubted that, but the look on Sirius' face stopped him. "What's wrong Paddy?"

Heaving a sigh, the man said, "Draco was attacked at school today."

"What?" Remus snapped. "He was only there for an hour or so. He didn't even join me for lunch. I got worried but didn't want him to feel like he was being pressured."

Sirius gave a grim smile. "I feel like we go too far one way and then the other."

Remus nodded in agreement. Pulling out a chair, he sat himself down. "So what happened?"

"I flooed with Minerva earlier. Six boys ambushed Draco during the second period of the day and were about the draw their wands on him. Hermione and Ron managed to intervene. Suffice to say Quidditch is off the table until after Christmas for these boys, as well as a strongly worded letter home to their parents."

"Is that really enough?"

"What else can we do? Draco wasn't physically harmed so … it's all that can be done for now."

"Next time, we'll demand one of the aurors comes and stays the entire time, even if it is only for an hour."

"Agreed."

Raking a hand through his hair Remus asked, "Where's Draco now?"

"When I left him, he was being attended to by Dr. Scarhead."

The name took Remus by surprise. "Dr. What?"

Sirius chuckled, although his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "Harry saw that Draco had slept all day, hadn't eaten and complained of a headache. He insisted on helping."

Remus laughed. "Oh, dear that poor boy."

"Harry's not bothered by Draco's mood swings."

"I was talking about Draco. Harry can be incredibly bossy, especially these days."

Sirius grinned. "I figured they could bond a little more."

"What about Teddy?"

"Andromeda dropped him off about 6PM. He's been fed, changed and is waiting for a goodnight kiss from his daddy."

Remus felt a warm flush creep up the back of his neck. He ducked his chin slightly to hide his face. "You're dreadful," he murmured, more to himself that Sirius.

A hand reached out across the table and gripped his own.

"Remus."

He fought the urge to look into Sirius' eyes, and lost the battle. "Yes?" he murmured.

Those wide, grey eyes were awash with emotion. So many, infact, that Remus couldn't make heads or tails of them. "You'll stay with me, right?"

"I can't very well leave you with this lot, now, can I?" he chuckled.

Sirius didn't laugh. "I don't want to lose you."

"Sirius … Tonks has only been gone for three months."

The curly-haired man bowed his head. "I'd never want to replace her."

"You each have a place in my heart. It's only ever been you and her. Right now, I need to grieve. That's something I am never going to get back, Sirius, and I need to grieve for her." He squeezed Sirius' hand, his insides squirming. "I can't give myself to you in any way, not while I'm not whole and still broken."

Sirius nodded. He understood. "I can wait for as long as it takes, Remmy."

"I'm not asking you to."

"I know." A squeeze. "Just know that you'll always have a home here. You and Teddy."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't ever be sorry. Not for this."

Remus blinked away the tears he felt brewing behind his eyes. He inhaled deeply and squeezed Sirius' hand one last time before letting go. "Have you had anything to eat?"

Sirius' eyes glazed a little at the change in topic. "No, I didn't feel hungry when I got in. I made the boys' something, though."

"I'll make us some pasta and then we can go and relax okay?"

"I'll go up and check on Draco and Harry."

Remus smiled, before turning to the pots and pans in the kitchen and distracted himself cooking. Sirius watched him for a while, his gaze causing the hairs on the lycan's neck to stand up on end. Eventually, he drained his cold coffee and stood up from the kitchen table. It was only when his footsteps receded up the staircase, that Remus left out the breath he'd been holding and tried not to cut his quaking hand with the knife as he began chopping garlic.

~0~

Saturday dawned warm and sunny. The temperature was dialling down a little, meaning that Draco didn't feel the urge to have an ice cold shower every hour. He'd taken his time getting out of bed, his head still reeling from the previous day's ordeal. He wasn't sure he had the energy to deal with Granger and Weasley, but Sirius had agreed they could come over, so it was a done deal.

Remus had gotten up around the same time as Draco. They'd had an early breakfast together, reading the paper and the letters brought by the owls. It was nearly 10am by the time Sirius stumbled down into the kitchen in a pair of muggle jeans and a loose hanging t-shirt. His jeans hung a little too low on his hips and the collar of the shirt exposed the curls of black chest hair. Remus ducked his head a little too fast, or was Draco imagining it?

Attached to Sirius' chest was Potter, dressed in a pair of baggy blue shorts and a green t-shirt.

_Green really does bring out his eyes._

Draco froze at the thought.

He clenched his jaw and focused on the gossip articles Rita Skeeter had written, his pulse thrumming loudly in his ears.

"What time are Ron and Hermione meant to be arriving?" Sirius asked as he settled Potter into his high chair.

"Midday I think," Remus replied. "Have you explained to Harry what's happening today?"

"Yes, as simply as possible."

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yeah. Watch; Harry, who's coming over today?"

"My friends."

"And which friends are those?"

"Minnie and Ron."

"And you remember about them being older?"

"Yes, they're older because –because I had an accident. So I'm a baby and they're bigger."

Draco pressed his lips together. This wasn't funny! This wasn't funny!

"Now Harry," Remus took the toddlers attention, "Do you remember your manners?"

Potter twisted his face a little, his wide green eyes darting from one face to the other. "No …"

"What do we say when we want something that someone else has?"

"Please?"

"That's right, kiddo," Sirius ruffled his hair. "And what do we say when someone gives us something."

"Thank you!"

"See, the kids a genius!" Sirius beamed proudly.

Draco snorted as he drank his tea. "No wonder he's got such a big head when he's older."

Remus chuckled. "That had nothing to do with either of us."

"Well, if we get another Dark Lord, I'll be sure to defeat him be asking if he could _please_ bugger off elsewhere and _thank you_ for being such a sore loser."

The two men shared a laugh but Sirius sobered up quickly. "While we're on the topic, lets' try and keep war-talk out of the conversation. I don't want Harry's nightmares to start up again."

Draco nodded. "Don't worry, I don't plan on being around."

"Oh, Draco don't shut yourself away!" Remus protested. "You've not hung around with anyone your age for months. Just try and enjoy the company."

"I think I'd rather eat Grindylow testicles, thanks."

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. Potter laughed and clapped his hands.

Draco took his plate and mug to the sink and quickly washed it in the soapy water before setting it on the drying rack. He was almost positive that half the muggle things in the house had been accumulated just before he'd turned up on the doorstep, his magic bound.

"I think I'm going to study in my room for a while," he said, heading for the kitchen door.

"We'll call you down when the others arrive," Sirius called after him.

Draco didn't bother to reply.

.

When Granger and Weasley finally did arrive, Draco was too hungry to bother ignoring them as he was called down for lunch. They were eating outside on the patio. He headed straight for the kitchen, intent on helping Remus and Sirius carry out the dishes of food. Potter was toddling around with a stuffed owl tucked under his arm. Sirius had bought it for him on their last excursion into Muggle London. Yet again, Draco had been coerced to tag along. That meant he had to help keep an eye on the rugrat whilst Sirius made sure both Potter and Teddy were comfortable. Somehow they'd wandered into a toy store and come out with the white and grey plushie owl.

Now Potter carried it around with him everywhere.

Teddy was perched in his highchair at the outside table, banging his spoon cheerfully on his little table. He grinned and gabbled and made a grab for Potter's mop of hair as he passed. Whenever he managed to touch it, if only a little, he'd let out a squeal of excitement, clap his hands and his hair would flash bubblegum pink.

Potter seemed to be in a pensive mood, if toddlers could be such a thing. He kept shooting glances up at Granger and Weasley, as though trying to predict what their next move would be.

"That's a lovely little owl you have there, Harry," Granger broke the silence, her voice sweet and crooning.

Potter seemed to hesitate, glancing down at the owl in his hands. "She's my friend."

"Does she have a name?" Weasley asked, leaning down so that he was more eye-level with Potter.

The toddlers little face scrunched up in thought. "Her name –Her name is Hootie!"

The pair exchanged a glance, their mouths suppressing laughter. "That's a lovely name," Granger said. "Do you think you would like a real owl when you grow up?"

"Yes!" Potter beamed. "But I wouldn't call her Hootie, because I already have a Hootie and you can't have two friends with the same name otherwise –otherwise you'd not know who they are."

"That's very true."

Draco watched the interactions from the patio doorway. Why was it so easy for those two to get on with Potter? Not that he cared. He half-listened as Potter chatted incessantly about his favourite animals and colours and why all lady-bugs are girls otherwise they would be called 'boy bugs'. Granger chuckled encouragingly and Weasley laughed as Potter continued to babble.

A shriek caused Draco's head to snap up.

Sirius had hoisted Potter up into his arms and was tickling his tummy and under his arms. "That's enough chatting, Mister, otherwise you'll be too tired to eat!"

"Daddy nooo! Daddy –AH!" Potter dissolved into giggles as he squirmed, his face bright pink.

Draco momentarily wondered if Potter was still ticklish –and then punched his thigh out of sight under the table. Who cared if the git was still ticklish? He settled at the table, Remus on his left and Sirius on his right. He felt vaguely protected between them as he added a small amount of food to his plate and begin to eat, keeping his head down at the others conversed.

Draco had to marvel at the way Sirius took to being a dad, compared to how panicked he'd initially been. He clearly doted on Potter, much more than Lucius had outwardly done towards Draco. Whenever Potter wasn't clutching at his owl, his little fist managed to find something of Sirius to cling onto; his shirt, his trouser leg or his hand.

Clearly he wasn't the only one that thought so.

"I have to say Sirius, you're taking this all really well," Granger commented as Potter was returned to earth, his hair messy and cheeks flushed. "I wasn't sure you knew how to handle kids."

Draco bristled. From anyone else that would be seen as an insult. From Granger however …

Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "Oh, I know I may seem like the reckless madman you lot met five years ago –and in many ways I am." He smoothed his hand over Potter's hair as the toddler chewed at a sandwich. "Harry's always been my chance for a family. I need to do right by him and his parents. I owe them that much." A solemn look entered his grey eyes and Draco couldn't help but frown.

Was he missing something?

Shaking his curls from his eyes, Sirius plastered a grin on his face. "Who wants to play hide and seek after lunch?"

"MEEEEEEEEEE!" Potter squealed, waving his sandwich around.

Sirius took a large chomp of it, causing everyone except Draco to laugh.

~0~

Draco cuffed at the sweat bubbling on his forehead as the soapy water sloshed up his forearms. He'd decided to give Remus a break and do the dishes whilst everyone else played hide and seek with Potter. He could hear their laughter even down in the kitchen. Ordinarily he would have sneered at doing such a task clearly designated for house-elves, but this afternoon he wanted to be left alone.

"I never thought I'd see the day where Draco Malfoy was washing the dishes?"

He nearly dropped the plate at Granger's voice behind him. Scowling, he slammed the plate onto the drying rack and threw a glare of his shoulder. "Thought you were meant to be playing hide and seek?" he sneered.

"Got found first," she shrugged with a smile. She was silent for a moment. "How are you? Since those students attacked you?"

"They didn't attack me," he ground out, scrubbing vigorously at another plate.

"Nearly attacked you then," she amended. "Are you okay?"

"Fine," he replied tightly. "Guess I need an auror whenever I need to go to piss."

"I'm sorry that any of this is still happening. The war was meant to stop all this."

"Yeah well I don't have the Golden Trio at my beck-and-call to keep me safe."

"Draco –"

"What do you want Granger?" he gritted his teeth, his muscles tensing.

"I just –guess I wanted to let you know that you don't have to go through all this on your own."

"I don't need your pity, Granger."

"It's not pity!" she said in an exasperated manner. "It's an olive branch!"

"To what end?"

She didn't respond straight away. "You know I was always on your side?" He didn't reply. "Even in sixth year when, in hindsight, you were up to something, I defended you against the other two! I could see through the façade and see how it was tearing you up inside."

A hand on his shoulder made him jump and spin around, his back pressing back against the sink.

Granger withdrew her hand, her eyes wide with fear at what he might do next. He could slap her, pay her back for the punch he got in third year, but he was frozen. She was so close he could see the faint freckles across the bridge of her nose.

"If we're going to be seeing one another more, I think we need to try and be civil with one another."

"I have been civil," he glowered.

Granger chuckled and shook her head. "I mean more civil," she smiled. "Come and play with Harry. Sit and talk with Remus. Play Ron at chess! Anything other than cooping up in here and washing the plates."

Draco felt a muscle tic in his jaw.

Granger seemed to give up waiting for an answer. She let out a soft sigh and combed her curls out of her face. "Well you know where we are if you change your mind." She turned on her heel and made her way out of the kitchen.

Draco listened to her footsteps retreating towards the back door.

He let out a shuddering breath and glanced down at the dishtowel clenched in his hands. He couldn't deny how mind-numbing it was, however he wasn't sold on the idea of going back into the sunshine and watching everyone frolic about with Potter while he screamed his stupid head off.

Heaving a sigh, he tossed the towel onto the kitchen table and trudged back out into the garden. He didn't join in with the game of tag, but he did settle into the chair beside Teddy and let the baby grip his forefinger. He watched Granger and Weasley playfully dodging Potter as he charged for them whilst kicking a ball. Remus and Sirius cheered him on as he hurried on his little legs.

Potter kicked the ball past the tree. Everyone cheered, waving their arms in the air. Potter bounced around, clapping to himself as Remus ruffled his hair.

Draco couldn't deny that Potter was sort of not-ugly-looking as a child. He'd never looked as happy as a teenager, not that Draco had ever seen. Maybe during Quidditch but that was more adrenaline than anything else.

"Draco!"

His heart squeezed at the sound of Potter calling his name.

The bright-eyed brat was grinning at him and waving for him to come over. Everyone else was looking at him, waiting to see what he would do. Draco didn't have the heart to piss anyone else off today, he was far too drained for that. Standing up, he made sure that Teddy was secured in his high chair before stepping down from the patio and onto the soft grass.

Potter toddled up to him and grabbed for his hand with his clumsy fingers. Draco swallowed a sigh and pulled his hand from his pocket and let Potter take hold of it. He was tugged further onto the makeshift pitch where the black-and-white ball was resting.

"Draco you have to kick it with me and –and –and not let them get it away!"

Draco glanced at the others for guidance, but they merely grinned back at him.

"So, I'm on your team am I?" he asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah!" Potter grinned. "You and me against everyone!"

Another squeeze in his chest.

"Alright scarhead," he tried to smile. "Let's go."

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry it's been a while but I hope you guys appreciate this nice, long, juicy update! **


	15. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: I HAVE MY NEW LAPTOP!**** AND MERRY CHRISTMAS! X**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

.

Remus swept his hair from his eyes and groaned down at the paperwork before him. Once upon a time, he'd be able to mark a student's paper blindfolded, but now it was feeling more like a chore. He didn't like doing it alone, preferring to do it with Sirius so that the other man could loudly critique something, from the student's handwriting, to their sheer lack of knowledge on the subject or even their _name_.

Not that he'd ever do it during lessons, but it did make it awkward when Remus had to call on said student, and Sirius' taunts rang in his ear.

Still, marking homework during his free period before lunch was never something he was going to enjoy.

As if by some miracle, his floo flared green, indicating an incoming call. Setting his quill aside, he went over to the fireplace and grinned to see Sirius' head bobbing there. "You can't be in trouble yet, I've only been gone a few hours."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I was just wondering what your plans were for the full moon this month? Are the boys staying here or do you think it'd be better to ask Andromeda to watch them for the weekend?"

Remus' shoulders slumped. "Can we not talk about this later?"

"Of course! I just saw it marked on the calendar and thought I'd ask before I forget."

Remus cocked an eyebrow. "And ...?"

"And Draco asked and I wasn't sure what to tell him."

Ah, there it was.

"Is he afraid of me or something?"

"No, I just think he doesn't know how we managed in the past and doesn't know what to expect now." He paused, pensively. "I can only imagine many a run-in with Greyback didn't help."

Remus shook his head, repressing a shudder. Was Draco afraid of him or was he just reading too much into it? Either way, it twisted his stomach. "Do you think I should go up and talk to him?"

Sirius shrugged, "You can try, but he's with Harry at the moment."

Remus' eyebrows shot up. "What? When did that happen?"

"About .. oh, an hour ago? I gave Harry his dinner and then he insisted it was Draco's turn to read him a story."

Grinning, Remus headed for the door. "Come on, I want to see this!"

Sirius chuckled and followed. Casting a muffling charm on the stairs, they went up to the second floor and crept along the corridor, almost like they were teenagers in Hogwarts again. The door eased open; inside Harry was sitting up against his pillows, his eyes wide open as he watched Draco intently. Said blonde was perched in the rocking chair Sirius usually sat in, one leg cocked over the other, a large book open in his lap. His gaze was focused on the page before him, but every so often at Harry's exclamation, his mouth twitched into an almost-smile.

It was the smallest movement, but it was a stark difference to when Draco had first came to them.

Remus turned away from the door, and motioned for Sirius to head back downstairs.

"I'm amazed," he admitted, flicking his wand at the kettle and setting two mugs on the counter. "Draco was really against being here at all."

"I know. He still doesn't talk about it all, though."

Remus frowned, "I don't expect he'll want to."

"It'd be for his own good," Sirius stressed.

"I'm aware, Paddy, but how often were you emotional at his age? Not a whole lot, if I remember rightly."

Sirius pulled a face.

"Besides, you should be enjoying the peace and quiet while it lasts," he continued. "Before long, Harry's going to remember certain things and that's going to be a minefield all on its own."

Raking a hand through his curls, Sirius nodded. "I know. It's been killing me. I just ... I don't know what I'm going to say to him."

Remus placed a hand on his friends shoulder, wanting to smooth out the fine lines around his eyes. "We'll think of something when the time comes. Just let him be a kid for once. He didn't get it before."

Somewhere above them, they heard a door close, floorboards creaking, and then another door open and close. Draco had gone to his own room.

"I'll pop in on him in about an hour, see if he's settled."

.

At 8 o'clock Sirius eased the door open and peaked into Harry's room. The soft glowing lights shone in the shape of stars and moons across his ceiling. It was calming to look at and Sirius hoped it gave Harry some comfort if he ever woke up in the middle of the night. The small bed was situated across from the window so that the toddler didn't catch a chill when winter came. The curtains were drawn and the fire in the grate was crackling happily behind a barrier charm.

Harry was lying sprawled in his bed, like a starfish, his mop of black hair sticking up in all directions. He was sleeping, his chest rising slowly. His blue and red pyjamas depicting "Spiderman" were cute and quickly getting too small for him. One of the things Sirius was glad he could do for his godson, was to feed him three proper meals a day. None of this 'begging for scraps' shite like those muggles had forced upon him.

Harry huffed and shifted over in bed, curling up into the pillow, Hootie tucked snuggly against his chest.

He was just so cute.

Unable to stop himself, Sirius ran his fingers through Harry's hair and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"I wish you didn't have to grow up so fast," he murmured, resting his forehead against the toddler's.

Leaving the room, he pulled the door to and retreated back to his own room. Remus was there, bathed in the glow of the floating orbs as he rocked a sniveling Teddy against his chest. The baby's hair was flashing between red and blue and his face was flushed an ugly pink were he was quietly crying.

"Hey now, what's this?" Sirius asked, casting a _Muffliato_ charm at the door.

Remus shook his head, bouncing with every step as he tried to calm his son. "I'm not sure, he just seems upset."

"Have you checked him for everything?"

"Of course I have," Remus ground out through clenched teeth.

Sirius came up behind his friend and rested a firm hand on his shoulder, "Hey now, don't snap at me."

"Sorry. Maybe he can smell wolf."

Sirius frowned, "Is that possible?"

"I've no clue, Sirius!" Remus hissed. "All I know is that my son is crying his lungs out and I can't calm him down!"

"Give him here." Remus stopped, his eyes flashing gold in the soft light. At Sirius' insistence, he handed over his son. Settling Teddy against his chest, Sirius glanced at his friend, "Now lie down on the bed and take off your shirt."

Hesitantly, Remus did as he was told, tugging his t-shirt off over his head. Sitting propped up on the bed, he watched with a confused frown, as the curly-haired man laid Teddy on the end of the bed, his thrashing, chubby limbs being freed from his onesie. Finally, in just his diaper, Teddy was lifted ever-so-gently from the blanket and gently eased down onto Remus' chest. Teddy wriggled and choked a little, but after a few moments his breathing calmed down a little and his small hand curled around a wisp of chest hair.

The steady thumping of Remus' heart soothed him.

Startled gold eyes looked up at Sirius, "How did you know to do that?"

Sirius shrugged with a small self-satisfied smirk on his lips. "It worked with Harry a few times in July."

Remus gently rubbed circles across Teddy's back. "You make this all so much easier."

"All what?" Sirius asked, unfastening his waistcoat. Since the weather was getting a little cooler, his wizarding attire was more comfortable to wear.

"Being a single dad," Remus sighed, his eyes staring off into the distance. "I never thought this would happen, being a dad, let alone having to go it alone."

Perching on the edge of the bed, Sirius rested a hand on Remus' shoulder. "I know, Remmy."

"What would our friends say?"

Sirius snorted lightly. "James would have tried to turn the rugrats into super-spies. Whereas Lily ... Oh Lily ... She would have been everyone's mum."

"Even Draco's?"

"She would have mothered him worse than Molly Weasley."

They lapsed into silence. Teddy snoozed gently. Once Sirius was changed for the night, he lifted Teddy up as carefully as he could, clothed him and settled him down in his cot. With a flick of his wand, the cot started to rock gently from side-to-side. As he climbed into the bed, the floating orbs dimmed down. The wind whistled down the chimney and made the hairs on his arms stand up on end.

He was drifting off to sleep when Remus nudged him with his foot.

"Sirius?"

"Mm?"

"Can you do something for me this weekend?"

"Sure. Whassit?"

"Can we look into converting the basement?"

"To what?"

"Into a potion's lab. For Draco."

"Why's we need a lab?"

Remus bit down on his bottom lip. "Sirius ... What do you think about letting Draco brew my wolfsbane potion?"

Cracking his eyelids open, Sirius frowned at the golden-eyed man across from him. Even in the dimmed light, his eyes were more wolf than usual. The moon was right around he corner. They wouldn't have time for Draco to brew a batch this time. However ...

"Do you really trust him to do that for you?" Sirius asked, propping himself up on his elbow.

"I do. Not to mention, from what I've heard, he's still an impeccable genius when it comes to potion-making."

Sirius grinned through the darkness. "It'll take another month or so to sort the place out but ... dear Merlin, I love that idea!"

Remus Squeezed Sirius' arm across the mattress. "I think it'll be good for him."

"I'll get started first thing tomorrow," Sirius yawned, shifting onto his back. "Then we can set the boy up with something worth his time."

~0~

"What in Merlin's name are you doing down here?"

Sirius whipped around mid-step, the music warbling through the air as his eyes focused on Draco standing in the doorway to the basement. He was hunched over, wearing a fitted navy blue sweat with a cowl that framed his pointy chin and made him look almost ethereal with how pale he appeared.

"I was wondering where you'd gotten to!" Sirius beamed, sending the broom in his hand to sweep wandlessly around the room. "Did you miss me, kiddo?"

Draco frowned at him, his grey eyes sharp and intense. "Why would I do such a stupid thing?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well if you're here to help me clear this dump out, I'm grateful."

Draco wrinkled his nose. "What _are_ you doing down here?" he repeated, taking the steps down into the cellar.

"We are cleaning."

"We?"

"Draco!"

Spinning around, arms crossed over his chest, Draco came face-to-face with Potter. He was dressed up in the most hideous bright green jumpsuit with a bandanna tied around his head.

"Have you come to help us clean?"

"No. What -of course not! Why would I _clean_ this place?"

"Well, Daddy says we have to clean our rooms otherwise we don't get ice cream and and and ... Daddy says this is your room so ... that means you got to clean it."

"What?" Draco shot a look at Sirius. "What the hell is he gabbing about?"

"It was going to be a surprise," the older man stated, before directing a look at his godson. "See Harry? You spoiled the surprise."

"No I DIDN'T!" the toddler stamped his foot, his fists clutching at his mini-broomstick. "I said it's his room!"

Sirius sighed before kneeling down to the toddler's height. "Okay," he placated. "But don't say anymore okay?" He pressed a finger to his lips, eyebrows raised in warning.

Potter mirrored his actions before grinning and hurrying off into a corner to start whacking his broom at a cobweb filled with dead doxies.

Sirius chuckled at his antics before Draco rounded on him again. "Care to explain what you're playing at?" he sneered through gritted teeth.

Unphased, Sirius cocked an eyebrow. "Go on. Talk to me like that again and I'll treat you how I treat Harry when he gets into a mood."

Thrown off-guard, Draco asked, "What?"

"Tell him, pup."

"Daddy puts me on the naughty step for a while until I say sorry," Potter stated

Draco snorted, "You're hardly going to manage to put me on the naughty step."

Chuckling, Sirius drew himself to his full height. "Please give me a reason, Draco. Give me a reason to try."

The teenager saw the wicked gleam in his cousin's eye, and for the first time in ages felt a pang of dread shoot through him. Curling his lip into a sneer, he huffed and turned away. To his dismay he was left staring at Potter as he crouched down and swept the flagstone floor. He'd only come down for a sandwich and now he was in a stuffy basement with only a small window letting in light from ground level, with Potter and his mad cousin.

"So what is this for?"

"It was Remus' idea," Sirius said, "It's a surprise. So grab a broom and get sweeping."

"I don't want to sweep!"

"It's okay Draco!" Potter chimed. "I can show you how to do it. Daddy showed me two days ago. I'm really good at it, aren't I Daddy?"

"Yes, pup, you're incredible. The best sweeper in the world!"

The beaming smile that Potter shot Sirius' way, was enough to make Draco's heart clench. When was the last time his father had said he'd done a good job? He was jolted out of his thoughts when something tapped at his hands; glancing down he saw Potter with another broom in his hand and was offering it up to Draco.

"Come on Draco! We have to clean!"

"Why would I want to do that?"

"Daddy says we get cake if we do good."

His grin was infectious. Draco found himself smiling and he felt a little lighter compared to when he woke up that morning. Grabbing the broom, he listlessly started scraping it across the floor. He felt the weight of Sirius' gaze on the back of his neck, but he ignored it as the floor was cleared of dust, debris and cobwebs. Next up was to wash the walls down as well as the floor; Draco couldn't remember the last time he'd seen a mop and he knew he'd never held one before. While he mopped, Sirius and Potter scrubbed at the walls, several other sponges levitated to mimic their movements across the room as they went.

It took a good few hours and by the time they were done and had to leave the room to air-dry, Draco had damp patches everywhere and was starving. When he came down to the kitchen after changing, lunch was already on the table and Potter was munching on a sandwich, his chin barely reaching above the table.

"Was wondering where you got to," Sirius said as he set two more plates of sandwiches on the table, sitting across from Draco.

"I had to change into something dry." He picked at his sandwich for a moment. "Where's Lupin? Isn't it meant to be your day teaching?"

"Since it's the full moon later this week, Remus wants to get most of his lessons out of the way."

"You'll be teaching most of next week then?" Draco frowned. "What about Potter?"

"I'm sure you'll all manage just fine. Give it a day or two, Remus will be back on his feet to help."

"So you'll want me to help Potter?"

"I'm sure you can make eggs on toast," Sirius grinned. "Besides, it'll only be for a few days."

Draco pulled a face but didn't say anything else. Potter's wide green eyes darted from one man to the other, before he attacked his sandwich again, grinning around every mouthful.

When lunch was over, Sirius asked if Draco wanted to help finish clearing the basement but he declined. "I'll wash the dishes and go and do some studying," the blonde teen said with a shrug.

Sirius frowned; it would have been so easy for him to _scourgify_ the dishes but Draco didn't like he was in the mood."Is there something on your mind, Draco?"

"No I'm fine," he replied tightly, rolled the sleeves of his jumper up as the sink filled.

"Do you have a problem with Remus?"

A dish clattered as he tensed. "Why would I have a problem with living in a house with a werewolf?" he asked through clenched teeth.

"He's perfectly safe!" Draco tried to say something, but the words were lodged in his throat. His jaw simply wouldn't unclench and his head was swimming. A chair scraped back and a firm hand rested on his shoulder. The warm, solid pillar of Sirius was leaning close behind him. "You're safe too, Draco," he squeezed, "I wouldn't let anything happen to either of you. You and Harry are safe, as long as you stay inside. I can help take care of Remus."

"What about Teddy?"

"Andromeda will look after Teddy, just like last time." A tremor ran down Draco's spine and coiled in his stomach, like a lead snake. As if sensing his tension, Sirius pulled him another step back and hugged him from behind. "It will be fine Draco, but if you're really uncomfortable with it ..."

"What?"

"Why don't we invite Hermione and Ron over to keep you two company? I'm sure they'd like to see Harry again."

Draco rolled his eyes and shrugged Sirius off of him, "Thanks but I'd rather not suffer through them again. If they want to come and babysit, let them."

Sirius let his hands fall away. "Well," he said, defeated. "Alright then."

Draco focused his attention on washing the dishes. He almost broke a few with how hard he was handling them. At some point Sirius had whisked Potter away and into the cellar. If he stopped scrubbing, he could hear them clattering about in there but wasn't curious enough to go and have a look. He didn't want to look, he didn't care. It took him another hour to finish with the dishes and scrubbing down the counters and table before heading back up to his room.

~0~

Friday evening was fast approaching and Draco was getting his bearings after having fallen asleep. Ancient Runes rarely sent him off to sleep. He supposed he was over-doing it a little bit with all the studying, racing to get all his assignments written to the best he possibly could. Getting rid of the kinks in his muscles, he raked his hand through his hair and stretched. It was already 6pm and the sky would be completely dark soon. His insides twisted as he descended the stairs to the living room.

A fire crackled in the grate and Draco stopped short in the doorway at the sight of Hermione and Ron sat on the sofa. They glanced up at him as he entered.

"To what do I owe the displeasure of your company?" he asked, still feeling too tired to inject the right amount of disdain into his words.

The two Gryffindor's shared a look before Hermione said, "We got here a little early. Sirius said he was just giving Harry a bath before he makes his dinner."

"Right," he said. "Well I'll just leave you lot to it."

"You don't need to go, Draco."

Her words made him tense up. It felt wrong to hear his name fall from her mouth. "All the same, you two want to spend time with Potter, whereas I don't."

Weasley, who had been sitting there, tense and quiet, on the sofa let out a long sigh, "I told you, 'Mione. He can't be bothered to slum it with us so leave him to it."

"Ron!" she hissed, shooting him a glare. Returning her gaze to Draco she inclined her head to the sofa opposite. "Come on, Draco. I'm sure Harry would like your company."

He eyed the two of them. "All the same, I'd rather not."

He turned on his heel and walked across the hallway to the kitchen. Remus was nowhere in sight and Sirius was holding a freshly bathed Potter astride his hip. When he saw Draco, he sighed with relief and practically launched the toddler into the blonde's arms. "Sorry, Draco, just hold him for a second, I need to just dish his food up."

Draco grimaced as he attempted to adjust his grip on the toddler, who didn't seem bothered. If anything clung onto Draco's jumper and dropped his head onto the blonde's shoulder. It was totally unnecessary and awkward. What would happen when Potter got older and remembered all of this? That he was clinging onto his school nemesis?

"Where's Remus?"

"He's resting out in the conservatory for now. Don't worry, the house is warded and he can't get through in his wolf-form," Sirius raked a hand through his hair. "Just make sure Harry doesn't go near the windows. Take him through into the living room and I'll bring his dinner."

Draco frowned at the brat in his arms before sighing loudly. "Fine," he ground out, turning on is heel and marching out of the kitchen.

The two Gryffindors' heads snapped up when he barge into the room and plonked Potter down on the sofa opposite them. "There you are, scarhead, time to play with your friends." Looking up at Granger and Weasley he said, "If you need me I'll be upstairs."

"Draco-"

"Oh let him go Hermione," Weasley said. "It's not like we need the ferret hanging around when we want to spent time with Harry."

Granger swiveled around to admonish the redhead but Draco cut across her. "See Granger? You'll be fine."

He turned and made for the door. Hopefully he could escape and hide away before Sirius came in with Potter's dinner.

"NO!"

All three heads turned to see Potter standing up on the sofa, his feet sinking into the plush cushions and his little hands clenched into fists. The air around him crackled, small blue and green sparks running through his hair and around his pyjamas. There seemed to be a rush of air that ruffled his hair and clothing. His eyes gleamed bright green as he glared up at them.

Draco released his grip on the doorknob.

"Okay," he held up his hands to show Potter that he wasn't leaving.

"Harry why don't you let Draco study and we can watch a movie, hmm?" Hermione said in a soft voice, crouching down a little so she was more level with the toddler.

"NO!" he shouted again. "Draco can't go!"

Rolling his eyes, the blonde walked away from the door, "Look, I won't leave. Now settle down so Sirius can come in with your dinner."

The toddler narrowed his eyes but the crackling in the air subsided, placated for now. Sirius chose that moment to open the door and saunter into the room levitating two trays; one with Harry's dinner of chicken nuggets, potatoes and green beans, and the other holding a plate of biscuits, chocolates and popcorn for the others. Sensing the tension in the room, he cocked a dark eyebrow.

"What's going on here?"

"Nothing," Draco replied tightly. "I was just trying to leave. Potter got a little pis -er -peed off with me."

Sirius frowned and levitated the trays to the coffee table. Pulling the footstool closer, he took Potter's hands in his own and tugged him gently until the toddler awkwardly sat down on the edge of his seat. "Now, pup, what's all this I hear about you raising your voice?"

Potter ducked his head, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

"Now, Hermione and Ron have come all the way here to see you. Do you think it's nice for them to see you getting angry and shouting?"

More silence. Draco felt a twinge in his chest, almost like he wanted to _defend_ Potter.

"Now," Sirius continued. "Remus and I are going to be away tonight. Draco and his friends are going to look after you."

Draco scoffed at the same time as Weasley. He glared at the redhead.

"I want you in bed with brushed teeth by seven o'clock, okay mister?"

Potter nodded his head, his bottom lip jutting out.

"Come give me a hug before I go."

Potter practically dove against Sirius' chest, burrowing into the folds of his shirt and mumbling so that only Sirius could hear. The man pressed a kiss to Potter's head and mumbled back, before easing Potter back on the sofa and ruffling his hair. "Be a good boy, pup."

"I'm always good!"

Sirius grinned, lingering for a moment longer, before finally standing up and stretching his back. Turning to the three teenagers he furrowed his brow. "If there's any issues, send a patronus out into the garden. It's how we used to take shifts with Remus during school." Casting one last look at Potter digging into his chicken nuggets, his shoulders sagged. "Try not to keep him up too late," was all he said, before he left the room. His footsteps echoed down the hall towards the back door. It opened and closed and then there was silence.

It stretched on, thick and heavy, while Potter made as much noise as possible eating by himself. It was Hermione who stepped in and broke the awkwardness; "Shall we put a movie on, Harry?"

"Yes please!"

"Which one would you like? Do you want to watch a Disney film?" He nodded, his cheeks swollen with half-chewed beans. "What's your favourite?"

"Winnie the Pooh!"

Draco watched, unable to hide his fascination, as Hermione hunted around for a strange flat shiny object and slotted it into a space below the television. Weasley was frowning, although he didn't look as confused as Draco felt.

'Ah that's right,' Draco thought. 'His father works with muggle rubbish in the Ministry.'

Although, even he had to admit that not all muggle technology was rubbish or bad. Manual light switches? Dreadful and an absurd waste of time! Movies that you could rewind and play back without feeling nauseated? Genius! Not that he would ever admit it to anyone.

Potter crawled up onto the sofa, wedging himself on Hermione's other wise. Weasley draped an arm around the shoulders of his girlfriend. Draco watched with a twisting inside his chest; it looked ever so cosy and familial and couldn't help but wonder what his life would be like if he had friends who cared enough. Potter's clearly cared. As the 'movie' began, Draco tried to leave as stealthily as possible. Potter's head spun around and his eyes went wide.

"Draco where're you going?"

"To my room."

"No! It just started!" the brat whined.

Hermione and Weasley glanced up at him, watching him for his reaction. He didn't have any fight left in him. "Fine. Mind if I join?" he directed his glare at the couple, half-heartedly daring them to object. Weasley rolled his eyes, but Hermione shifted further into his chest and wriggled Potter along with her.

Potter beamed up at him as he settled into the tight space between Potter and the armrest. "Can you see?" he cocked an eyebrow at the toddler, who continued to smile up at him, his head leaning sideways to rest on Draco's shoulder.

"Yeah I can."

"Good."

Leaning back a little, just in case, Draco turned his attention to the movie. He couldn't understand the relevance of the fat yellow bear or what the obsession with honey was -and yes the grammatical errors made him want to burn his eyes out -but it had a innocent little charm to it. It almost made him long for his stuffed dragon that he had when he was a child.

By the end of the movie, Potter was still leaning lazily against him but he was fast asleep, his jaw slack and his head tilted at an awkward angle.

"Oh dear, I hadn't realised he'd nodded off," Hermione whispered, keeping her voice low. "Do you want us to help you put him to bed?"

"No it's alright. I'm sure I can manage."

Hermione looked at him for a moment, before smiling and nodding. "Okay, we'll use the floo once you've taken him up. Don't want to risk waking him."

Draco gave them both an awkward nod before turning his attention to Potter. It was a bit of a struggle lifting the toddler up and he wasn't sure how he managed it, but soon he was clutching the puny Potter against his chest, his arms and legs wrapped loosely around Draco for support. He staggered to the top of the staircase and was just about to walk into Potter's bedroom when he heard the distant sound of the floo, indicating that the other two had left.

He supposed it hadn't been a dreadful evening, just awkward.

Potter settled down into his kid-sized bed with ease, the safety rail magically sliding up into place as soon as his head touched the pillow. He leaned over and made sure Hootie was near enough for Potter to cuddle with during the night. The curtains were open, letting the pale moonlight shine in, illuminating just how small and frail Potter was as a child.

Yet, he'd defeated the Dark Lord whilst in nappies. It was incredible.

A flicker of movement from the garden below caught Draco's eye. Leaning over to the window, he pressed his hands against the glass and peered out; bathed in the moonlight, a larger than life grey werewolf loped around the garden, it's long, skinny limbs moving seamlessly as it was chased by a shaggy black dog less than half its size. They snapped their jaws playfully at each other, the dog jumping up and over the wolf, and even took turns into submitting, their paws in the air, before immediately returning to their game.

Draco had never seen a werewolf be _playful_ before. One little potion did that? One potion was the difference between a blood-sucking monster like Greyback and a docile creature as Remus?

Potter turned in his sleep, grasping out for Hootie and whimpering a little. Draco passed the toy to the toddler, hesitated, and then gently stroked his hair until the little crease between Harry's brows smoothed out.

"You're safe here, Potter," he murmured, his eyes glancing out the window to see the dog lean up on its hind legs to lick at the wolf's muzzle. "You're safe here with us. I promise."

* * *

**A/N: I hope you all liked this chapter, I made it a little longer than normal to make up for my absence. Due to health issues and laptop issues updates have been slow lately, but I'm almost 100% better, I think, and I have a new laptop so yey! **

**I hope you all had a lovely Christmas!**


	16. Chapter 15: October

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

_~ October ~_

Turning four was a big deal for Harry.

He was now tall enough to not need a booster seat at the table and only needed a small step ladder to reach over the bathroom sink to brush his teeth properly. He was allowed to stay up a whole fifteen minutes later! Who knew there was such a time beyond 7pm!

It was also October which, according to Daddy and Remmy, would mean that he got to dress up and go trick-or-treating! He didn't really understand it, but he was promised sweets and he liked sweets. Remmy said it would ruin his teeth but he'd argued that he had more than ten more teeth so losing one wasn't really a big problem. It wasn't until the very last day of the month, anyway, which meant there was plenty of time to prepare!

.

The world outside was getting cooler, the nights longer, and despite all the magic the two men -and the house itself -possessed, Draco still felt his skin bubble with goosepimples whenever he left any room. The hallways were always the gloomiest parts of the house, anyway, he just hadn't realised how cold it'd get. He had considered asking Sirius to light a fire in his room, the one right by his bed, however he didn't want to seem so inept. Muggles knew how to light fires, right? He hadn't dreamed that? Well then surely he could figure something out as well.

He was lucky to find Remus in the lounge, cradling a gurgling Teddy against his chest, whilst Potter played with a train set on the plush carpet.

He knocked gently on the door, not wanting to disturb Teddy.

"Oh, hello Draco," Remus smiled wanly, his tone hushed as he rocked his son. "What can I do for you?"

Closing the door behind him, he sat on the opposite end of the sofa as Remus continued to rock. Potter made small 'choo-choo' noises as he raced the train through the carpet. "Um ..." he tried to keep his mind focused, "I was wondering if there were any books about muggle ways?" Merlin, he felt like a traitor to magic just uttering those words!

"Well what exactly do you want to know?" Remus asked.

"I don't even know how to light a fire," Draco felt himself flush with embarrassment. "It's getting colder now and I can't exactly call on you or Sirius whenever I need a heating charm cast."

Remus chuckled, "I can show you some things. If you like we can pop to the local supermarket and grab a few things."

Draco scrunched up his nose. "Why?"

"You want some things to help. We should be able to get it all in the same place. Why don't you write down a list of things you want to learn or need help with and I'll get these two ready." Potter glanced up as Remus stood. His green eyes landed on Draco and he smiled shyly, ducking his head to focus on his trains. "Come on, Harry, we need to get our warm jumpers on."

"Why?"

"Because we're going outside. Draco needs to buy some things and we're going to help him."

This answer seemed to satisfy Potter. He abandoned his train set and hurried to catch up with Remus. Draco watched them go, trying not to clench his jaw when Potter turned and smiled with a wave. Glancing down at the train set, he sighed, imagining Sirius didn't want to stumble out of the floo at the end of the day, with a caboose lodged in his foot. It still irked him that he had to do such mundane things, like packing a train set away by hand. Usually, it'd be a simple flick of the wand and then he could write an actual list and still have time to spare before Remus returned with the two brats in tow.

Within ten minutes, the sound of hurried footsteps clambered down the stairs.

"Draco! Are you ready! Remus says we have to go NOW!"

Draco almost smirked at Potter's antics. Now that he was officially a child and not just a bumbling lump, he didn't seem keen to leave Draco alone for long. Said kid was already in a jumper, jacket and trainers. Sirius had come up with a rather genius idea of simply resizing Potter's shoes and jeans. It didn't stop the man from going out at least once a week in his spare time, to pick up a book or a piece of clothing he thought Potter would like.

Draco sighed, "Alright, let me grab my coat."

Stepping into the hallway and snatching his jacket off the hat stand, Remus came down the steps with Teddy strapped to his chest. At Draco's quizzical look, he merely shrugged. "It's easier than dragging a bulky pram all over the place. I never have the patience for those things."

"A ... pram?"

"A muggle device that mother's use to wheel their children around in. It also doubles as a shopping trolley apparently."

Draco was even more confused. He didn't press the issue though. If it had to do with children, it didn't have anything to do with him, so he need not concern himself with it.

"Are we ready to go?"

"Yes, I'm ready."

"Me too!" Potter chimed.

Walking out of the wards of Grimmauld place always made Draco's insides convulse. It would always feel that way until he regained access to his magic. He trailed a few steps behind Remus, hands in his pockets. They came to a stop at the main road, waiting for the 'Green Man' to appear. Draco had come to understand it was a light, not an actual person. He'd been a little disappointed that a man dressed all in green didn't help muggles safely from one side of the road to the other.

"Draco!" He glanced down at Potter's stage whisper. "You have to hold my hand."

His stomach lurched. "What?"

"To cross the road. Daddy says it isn't safe to cross the road unless we hold hands."

Ah, yes. Draco had remembered that conversation. It was right after Potter had chased after a dog he wanted to pet. Said dog and owners were crossing the road. Luckily, Sirius had got to him just in time. The scolding was impressive, and Draco had quite the experience with angry fathers. Potter had sniveled and cried and had been sent to bed without a bedtime story. Draco had heard his sniffling down the hall. He'd almost gotten the temptation to go into the brat's room and read him a bloody story just so he could get some sleep.

A myriad of emotions had stopped him.

"Draco, we have to go now!" Without waiting for an answer, Potter grabbed Draco's hand and dragged him towards the edge of the pavement. Sure enough the green man was flashing, so Draco hurried to catch up with Remus, making sure to keep his strides just long enough so that he wasn't forcing Potter to eat tarmac.

Once safely on the other side, Draco bent down and glowered at the child, "Don't you ever do that again, do you hear me? You do not run out in front of those things!"

Potter's bottom lip wobbled, his large green eyes almost making Draco's anger subside.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, coming back to place a hand on Draco's shoulder.

"Potter dragged me into the road without waiting."

Remus twisted his mouth into a frown, "That is very dangerous, Harry. You or Draco might have been hurt. You don't want to get hurt do you?"

Silently, the kid shook his head.

"You have to wait for the green man."

"I did!" Potter protested. "It was green! I saw it!"

"It doesn't matter," Remus said calmly. "Draco is the adult, so you have to let him go first. If you get into trouble, he can help protect you from the cars, okay?" Potter nodded, his chin drooping downwards. "Good. Now I want you to hold onto Draco's hand for the rest of the afternoon, okay? I don't want you running off again."

As they walked along down the street, bypassing numerous shop-fronts that boasted amazing sales and cheesy halloween decorations, Draco allowed himself to feel smug. Potter had gotten reprimanded for actually doing something wrong. Now, as punishment, he needed to be treated like the kid he was. It made him feel minutely uncomfortable that he was the one who had to keep Potter from running off on his own again, however he told himself that's what winning felt like; being in control of the situation and getting to feel good about it.

.

Draco didn't know what a 'Sainsbury's was and he didn't know why they needed to go into one. It was garishly orange on the outside and seemed over-crowded inside; it was the building equivalent of a Weasley. The thought made him shudder as Remus lifted Potter up and slotted him into the seat of the large metal trolley. Potter still looked like he was sulking, however his eyes did start to wonder over the numerous, brightly coloured packages lining the aisles.

Remus guided them along towards the homeware department, his amber eyes on the look-out for whatever muggle appliance Draco required.

"These should make you feel more at home if you like," he said, taking a wrapped pack of candles in one hand. "However, you do have a muggle lamp on your side table. All you need is some new bulbs."

Draco nodded mutely, his eyes reading words that he didn't fully understand.

"Which do you think you'd prefer to light the candles; a box of matches or a lighter?" Draco shrugged. "I suppose matches are better since you can also use it to light your fire. I'll get you the long ones, though, just in case."

Into the trolley they went.

"I'm going to grab you some batteries and a torch as well, it'll help you practice to change them when they stop working," Remus trailed off, biting his lip in thought as he scanned the shelves above his head. "Oh here we are!"

He reached up and snagged a small box off the shelf before holding it out for Draco to inspect. It read 'hand-held whisk' on the front, with a picture of what Draco assumed was said whisk. He wrinkled his nose, "Why do I need a whisk? I already have hands, I don't need a machine to do it for me."

"True, but this machine does all the beating ten times as fast as you or I could do. Even with magic, it takes a certain skill to get to this speed. It comes in handy."

Draco wasn't entirely convinced, but dropped the box into the trolley anyway. It's not like he was wasting his money, so who cared?

"Now, it is coming up to Halloween, why don't we see if they have any costumes, hm?"

"Costumes?" Potter chimed, his head whipped around to try and find them.

Remus chuckled and continued to pass down the aisles. Draco glanced at a few items on the shelves but nothing really jumped out at him until ...

"Hey Remus, what's this?" he held out a strange, square-ish fuzzy seal with large blue eyes. There was something stiff and wobbly inside.

"Let's see," Remus took the fluffy seal and felt around the fur. "Oh, it's a hot water bottle."

"Why does it look like that?"

"Muggles like cute covers for things like water bottles," Remus shrugged. "The real challenge for you, though, would be filling it with hot water from the kettle." Draco nodded mutely, gingerly placing the hot water bottle back on the shelf. He didn't need anything like that just yet. He needed to get used to lighting the fire first.

Remus moved the trolley around a few more hours, stopping to gloss over the books in the media section, before heading on down towards the clothing aisle, where tons of black and orange costumes were sealed in packets hanging alongside weird, plastic pumpkins. They seemed to grin down at him menacingly. Eyeing one of the crude costumes, Draco wrinkled his nose.

"Why exactly do muggles bother dressing up?" he asked. "They can't get much enjoyment out of it."

"The kids usually do," Remus chuckled. "The parents take them door-to-door trick-or-treating. That's when they knock on the door and get free sweets," he added at Draco's puzzled expression. "I went a few times, before I got bitten. After that no one wanted to go with me in case it was a full moon on Halloween and it'd be like a horror movie."

Feeling the overwhelming urge to hug the man, Draco fingered a fake, hollow skeleton. "Was it ... lonely?"

"Yes, terribly so." He sighed, "My first year at Hogwarts, James and Sirius insisted that we dress-up for halloween. No one else did and thought we were all barking mad, but it made me feel so happy." He gave a wistful smile, "It really is the little things."

"Hmmm. Were you planning on doing anything thing year?"

"For Halloween?"

Draco nodded.

"I'm not really sure. With the war finally over, and ... everything ... I wasn't sure that anyone would be up for it." The large amber eyes appeared especially shiny. "Tonks used to love any excuse to morph into something else. I'm sure she wished every day was halloween just so she could dress as a duck."

Draco felt his mouth twitch into an almost-smile. "Did Potter ever do anything like trickle treating?"

"Trick _or_ treating."

"Whatever."

"Not that I recall," Remus frowned. "He was barely allowed to celebrate his birthday, so I doubt halloween was on the cards for him either."

Draco frowned at that. His eyes kept straying back to the costumes. "I never did this sort of thing either. My parents would host a Hallows Eve ball at the manor. We didn't really dress up in costumes, just our best dress robes with maybe a fancy mask on top."

"Sounds fun," Remus remarked dryly. "I can almost guarantee you hid under the tables until you had a growth spurt."

Draco's shoulders hunched around his ears, his cheeks hot and pink. "That obvious am I?"

"No," Remus chuckled, "I'd have done the same." Glancing down at the trolley, Remus sighed and raked a hand through his already shaggy hair. "Let's buy this lot and then get some practice in before Sirius gets home. We're going to use the oven tonight."

Draco blanched. "Do we have to?"

"You won't learn if you don't try it out," Remus said, wheeling the trolley towards the cashiers. "Besides, the oven does most of the work, you just need to keep an eye on the time. A little like potions!"

"Please don't compare cooking to potions," Draco groused quietly. "If that were true, Potter should excel in both, not just one."

"Who says Harry's a good cook?"

Draco shrugged. He wasn't about to admit to any of the rumours he'd heard. That sort of talk had gotten him into a fair bit of trouble. They lapsed into silence as Remus loaded everything onto the conveyor belt. Draco waited patiently at the other end as Remus paid with a plastic card and packed everything into bags. With a bag each, and Teddy fussing in his harness, the foursome trekked back along to Grimmauld place.

.

It took another five days before Draco was bold enough to ask for help in lighting matches. He'd tried, the logic behind it was so simple, but somehow the matches would spark but not catch alight. Remus was teaching that week and that left Sirius in charge of the kids. Draco had been reading a new potions textbook in the lounge, keeping one eye on Potter as he doodled and coloured on numerous sheets of paper. He was a quiet kid, easily pleased and happy to be by himself. There were moment where Draco was tempted to indulge the brat and play games or watch movies, but the idea that any of this would stick in Potter's head when he got older was gnawing at him.

Making sure that Potter was okay on his own for a little while, Draco stood up, cracked his back, and made his way towards the garden. Sirius had said he'd be working out in the shed, and Draco hadn't thought to question what his cousin would be up to.

The sky was overcast, a cool wind clawing at Draco's jumper as he crossed the garden towards the shed that led out onto the back road. The door was ajar, the sound of metal-on-metal coming from inside. Something clanged loudly, making him jump, and a string of curse words came out. Reaching for the door, he knocked and waited. Sirius' head popped out a moment later; he was dressed in a threadbare top and muggle jeans, holes, and black smudges stained the fabric and his forearms. He cocked an eyebrow at Draco as he wiped his hands on a filthy rag, "You okay?" he asked.

"I was going to ask you a favour," Draco hedged. "Muggle stuff. But I don't want to disturb you."

Sirius glanced over his shoulder and grunted, "I could use a break. Let's get some tea. If I have to look at that thing for another minute, I'll hex it." He tossed the rag over his shoulder into the shed, and starting striding to the back door.

Draco glanced into the shed and frowned; a large, black and silver monstrosity sat inside. It had large rubber wheels and it was like those strange vehicles that went speeding through muggle London, only this one looked older, somehow. More classic. There was a rusting pale blue vehicle nestled alongside it, with only two wheels and a small visor at the front. With so many questions buzzing in his head, Draco ran back into the house to find Sirius in the kitchen.

"What were you doing in the shed?" he asked as he took one of the steaming mugs from Sirius.

"Trying to fix my bike; it's older than you and it needs adjustments every so often. Although, I think I may need to take it into a garage, there's no way I can replace all those gears myself. Not whilst teaching anyway."

Draco couldn't deny his surprise. "You ride that thing?"

"Sure do. It flies too."

"Wow ..." Even he couldn't deny how fucking cool that was. "Shit! It's older than me?"

"Yup. Had that thing since before I could legally drive it. Took years to modify it to be able to fly. Lily used to be so scared that I'd crash it, but I JUST LOVED proving that girl wrong."

"Did it worry Remus, too?"

"Everything worries Remus," Sirius chuckled. "The man's had grey hair ever since I've known him."

"Did he ever get on the back of that bike?"

Sirius smirked, "A few times. He hates the thing. Drives him mad when I go out for a ride to blow off some steam." Draco smiled a little. "Harry's been on that bike a few times too."

"Oh?"

"Once when he was a baby. The second time in the summer of your ... seventh year? Trying to escape some Death Eaters."

Draco blanched, his insides suddenly wanted to reject the tea he'd drank. "Why was he on it when he was a baby?"

Sirius' eyes looked misty for a moment. He swallowed, the temperature in the room seeming to drop. "It was the night they died. I wasn't able to get to them in time. I was ... I was devastated. Their house was destroyed. The wall had fallen in and the stink of dark magic hung in the air. The door was open and I was so scared at what I'd find."

A shiver passed through both men. Draco clenched his mug tighter.

"I had to pick my way through rubble. James, my best friend, was strewn on the stairs like a ragdoll. I froze, I wasn't thinking. Then I heard Harry crying. Draco," he looked up into his cousin's eyes. "In that moment, those screechy wails were the most precious sound I'd ever heard in my life."

Draco's throat felt thick. He felt cold all over but he was eager to hear more.

"I almost tripped over Lily when I ran into the nursery. The whole front wall had been blown away and it was cold. I wanted to hug her, try and wake her up. I couldn't believe two of my best friends were dead," he raked a quaking hand through his hair. "Those screams cut through me. Harry was screaming his lungs out, crying and making himself sick. His head was cut open, I thought some tiles or shrapnel had cut him. I didn't realise it was the scar then. He was looking right at her! I had to take him away."

Images flashed in Draco's mind; he could picture it all so clearly, from the tales and rumours that had been thrown around. It made him feel sickly though, that if Sirius hadn't been there, what would have happened to Potter? Would Voldemort's followers have come to finish him off? Realising that Sirius was lost in his memories, Draco reached out and placed a tentative hand on his forearm. "You got Potter out of there. You got him safe."

Sirius twitched a smile, "I did what I could. Wrapped him up in a blanket, hid his face and hurried him outside. I was just settling onto my motorbike when Hagrid came."

"Hagrid?!" Draco exploded. "What the hell was he doing there?"

"Dumbledore had sent him. For Harry." There was a bitter edge to Sirius' voice. "He said that due to the blood magic of Lily's sister, Harry was safer living in the muggle world."

Draco snorted. "Even I know that's a load of bullshit."

Sirius nodded in agreement. "Hagrid and I argued for ages, which sucked because he's a good bloke. I didn't want to let Harry go. In the end I gave Hagrid the only thing I could, in the hope that it would one day belong to Harry. I let him have my bike so he could take Harry as far away from everything as possible."

They lapsed into silence. The tea was almost cold now, but Draco downed it anyway.

"Is that when you went after Pettigrew?"

Sirius nodded. "Almost immediately. The bastard was PLEASED! It made my insides sick; all that control I thought I'd mastered snapped inside me. I went for him, tried to strangle him to death with my bare hands. The bastard was insane. Laughed at me. Managed to grab his wand and murdered the muggles on the street around us. They'd been trying to stop us from fighting and that's all it took. Instead of killing me and ending it, he decided to make me suffer. For twelve years in that icy Hell. He literally got away with murder. Twice."

"He eventually got what was coming to him," Draco placated. "And it wasn't like he was treated that well in the inner circle either."

Sirius stated at Draco with a strange expression. "Good," was all he said.

Draco rinsed his mug out and set it to one side, noting how dim the light was getting outside.

"Oh Merlin, I haven't thought about that night in a long time," Sirius sighed, rubbing his hands roughly down his face. "October is just the worst month for everything."

"They were killed on Halloween weren't they?"

Sirius nodded.

Draco frowned, thinking about the usual traditions at Hogwarts with the feasts and the decorations and the awful halloween songs from the school choir. "Potter won't remember until he's a little older, will he?"

"No, probably not."

Fiddling with the cuff of his shirt, Draco looked over at his cousin, "What about if we did something for Potter on halloween? Like, the trickie treating the kids do? Remus said it's a muggle tradition?"

"Trick or treating," Sirius corrected a small smile tweaking his lips. "I'm surprised you're even suggesting it. Are you sure this isn't an excuse for you to get your own costume?" he teased, wiggling his eyebrows.

Draco scoffed, "Don't be absurd. I don't give a toss one way or the other. However, if Potter wanted to dress up and go around begging for sweets, who are we to stop him?"

Sirius let out a bark of laughter, "Sure, Draco, whatever you say."

"DADDY! DRACO! Look what I drew!"

Potter's shrill little voice broke the atmosphere between them as he hobbled down the steps into the kitchen, waving a thick sheaf of papers in his hands.

"What do you have there, pup?" Sirius asked, scooping the child up and propping him on the table, his little legs swinging to and fro over the edge. Sirius took the papers eagerly thrust at him, beaming happily. "Oh wow! These are amazing! Draco look at these!"

Draco glanced down at the pictures and tried his hardest not to be a snob; while the strange man with tons of facial hair and a comical moustache was clearly Sirius and the round circle with blue hair and a big mouth was baby Teddy, Draco really didn't think his hair looked sunshine yellow. If anything it was white-blonde, not the colour of the tub of butter. Then there was the Remus drawing. It was just a misshapen scribble with big pointy teeth.

"Why did you draw Remus like this?" he asked, showing Potter the scribble.

"Because Daddy says that Remmy is a big wolf sometimes, but it's okay because he won't eat me."

"That's right, Remus won't eat you. He doesn't eat little kids for breakfast!" Sirius grinned, tickling Potter as he hugged him close. He shifted to another picture. "Oh, what's this one?"

Draco glanced at the picture. It was of the Potter blob asleep and the Draco stick figure reading a square he assumed was meant to be a book. "It's almost like the real thing," he drawled before he could stop himself.

Sirius smirked. "I'd like to see your drawings, kid."

Draco pulled a face. Sirius continued shuffling through the pictures ooh-ing and ahh-ing in all the right places. It was only when he fell silent, that Draco turned back to look with a raised eyebrow. His stomach dropped at Sirius' expression as he stared down at the last two images in the stack. Catching Draco's eye, he turned the pictures so that the teen could see. He wished he hadn't; one showed the Potter blob crying large blue tears with a fat man with a big blonde moustache and a red face raising his hand. There was a red hand print drawn onto the Potter blob's face.

The second one was of a building with a larger than life Potter blob sitting on top, a sad expression drawn on. A fat blonde boy with angry eyes and a big grin was 'looking up' at him from the ground and laughing. The word 'SCHOL' was scribbled on the front of the brown building.

Turning so that he was more eye-level with Potter, Sirius held up the pictures. "Harry, love, why did you draw these?"

Potter shrugged, his legs stilling. He looked as though he couldn't decide if he was in trouble or not. "I thought this happened so I drew it."

Glancing at Draco, Sirius pointed to the fat man. "Is that your uncle?"

Potter said nothing.

"You're not in trouble," Sirius assured him. "Did he do bad things to you?"

Potter said nothing but slowly nodded his head, his hands twisting and knotting themselves together. Draco felt bile burn at the back of his throat.

"Harry, love ... Did they hit you?"

"I don't remember. It was in my head, so I drew it."

"Did they call you names in your head?" Sirius pressed gently.

Potter looked away, sticking out his bottom lip. He was going to cry. Draco could sense it with the way his green eyes shone and his bottom lip wobbled.

"Don't you want to tell Sirius what's wrong, P -um -Harry?" Draco cringed.

Potter glanced at him with those eyes. "I don't want them to find out they call me a -"

"A what, Harry?" Sirius asked. "What bad things do they say?"

"That I'm bad."

"Oh, Harry!" The heartbreak was evident in Sirius' voice. He so desperately wanted to pull the kid to his chest and just hold him until all the hurt in the world bled out of him. "Sweetheart, you're not bad. You're a very good boy."

"If I'm not bad, then -then -then why do they say I'm a freak?"

* * *

**A/N: Happy February lovelies! I hope you enjoy the twisty twist :D x**


	17. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: Thank you guys so much, the reviews on my last chapter were amazing on here and AO3! I nearly melted, I was so happy! Thank you all for the support!**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

.

"They beat him?!" Draco snarled the moment Sirius closed the door behind him.

"Keep your voice down!" Sirius growled, quickly throwing up a '_Silencio_!' at the door so Harry wouldn't be disturbed by the shouting. He turned his attention back to his seething cousin and squared his shoulders. "You have no idea what that boy has been through."

"And he went back to those muggles, those _filth_, every summer? Dumbledore_ let that happen_?!"

Sirius' eyes darkened. "Do you honestly think I was happy about any of this? If I'd had it my way, I'd have whisked Harry away from here as soon as I'd mounted my bike." Every muscle inside him was being wound tighter and tight. His hands were shaking, with anger or anguish he couldn't tell. "It wasn't how Dumbledore wanted it to play out."

"Who gives a shit what the old bastard wanted!" Emotions were choking Draco's words and the ugly pink tinge to his skin was making him look frantic. His hair, usually immaculate, even now, was starting to fray out of place. A china teacup on the mantelpiece shattered, the shards scattering all over the tiled floor. "Nothing he ever planned went the way it was supposed to!"

Sirius ran a hand down his face. "I felt as helpless as you do, Draco."

The blonde scoffed. "Yeah, right."

Plates vibrated in the cabinets as volatile magic rippled through the air.

"I was tossed in Azkaban mere _hours_ after seeing my friends dead bodies and having my godson, the one thing left to cling to, whisked away by Hagrid. I don't even know where Remus was that night, but by the morning he'd lost all faith in me."

Draco felt the emotions hit him like a cruciatus curse, but he refused to calm down. Not when Potter had been beaten about like a common house elf. "And what about after, eh? You were on the run from the entire wizarding world! How do you think that made him feel? You may as well have just been back in Azkaban for all the good it did anyone!"

A shadow passed over Sirius' face. "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."

Draco knew, even in his irrational rage, when to reign himself in. He drew in a few deep breaths, the anger still quaking his muscles, and gripped the back of the kitchen chair. "I'm sorry," he ground out. Hot angry tears danced on his lashes and would probably fall without him noticing. He was too angry, too disgusted with everything. "I cannot help but feel sick about it all. It's disgusting! Every year he went back to that scum, and had to come back, learn brand new magic AS WELL AS TRYING TO DEFEAT A MANIAC!"

"Now you see how petty your little rivalry was?"

Oh.

He hadn't even thought about that.

The wind went out of his sails. "Fuck. I was a complete arsehole to him that first day. Such a snobbish little prick!"

Sirius raised his eyebrows but didn't comment.

"Then of course, there I was making fun of the sodding Weasley's to him! As if that was going to make him my best friend!" He slammed his fist against the stone wall. "What the fuck was wrong with me? What did I do?! For all I know Potter and I could have been a great fucking team! But instead I went around trying to get him into trouble and bullying him and his friends and being such a little goblin! I mean I'm no fucking better than his -"

He stopped dead.

Oh, that was an ugly thought. An ugly, ugly thought.

But it still rang true.

A hollow pit opened up inside Draco's chest and yawned open, swallowing any good, bad and sadistic feeling burning inside him. In an instant he felt cold, so desperately cold and empty. His hands quaked, but he couldn't tell why anymore.

Sirius came to stand in front of him, arms still crossed over his chest. "Draco, talk to me. What're you thinking?" His voice was a low level rumble, yet somehow it was comforting. He guided Draco into the chair and winced as the teen slumped heavily into it, his glassy grey eyes staring off into the middle distance.

"I er ... was just thinking ..."

"About?"

"How I'm no better than those bastard muggle relatives of his."

"What makes you say that?"

Draco wanted to scoff but his mouth wouldn't oblige. "Can you honestly ask me that after all you must have heard about me?"

"You'd be surprised how tight-lipped Harry can be. What I hear is mostly from Ron swearing or cursing your family. Harry, oddly, doesn't say much."

The empty feeling was growing inside him, slowly but surely, like a stain.

Two hands rested on his shoulders. They were warm and heavy and felt wonderful. "Come on, kid, I think you need an early night."

A quick glance at the clock above the fireplace made him frown. "It's not even eight o'clock."

"Doesn't matter. It's been a long, exhausting day and you need to process all of this. Come on."

Draco let himself be gently guided out of the chair and towards the stairs. He was grateful that Sirius didn't let go of his shoulders and even more so when his cousin didn't comment on it. He kicked off his shirt and trousers and changed into warmer pyjamas like a zombie, almost jumping out of his skin when Sirius lit the fire with a flick of his wand, cast a warming charm on the bed and pulled the covers back for the teen to slide under.

At least it was nice and warm in his bedroom now.

Sirius tucked the covers in around Draco's body and made to leave. The teen reached out and snagged his cousin's sleeve. "Sirius can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Draco, what's up?"

"Do you think Potter actually thought of me as ... like his cousin?"

Sirius' gaze softened. He twisted his arm and took Draco's hand in his and squeezed. "Maybe it didn't bring up the right sort of feelings for him at the time. From what I know, his Uncle was a horrid fat bastard and his son was quickly following in his footsteps. Like father like son, and all that."

"How do you know?"

"I check in on them from time to time. Keep them on their toes. They don't need to know I was cleared of all murder charges. Bullies the lot of them."

Draco winced. "Is that why he didn't shake my hand?"

"It probably didn't help."

"I just wanted him to be my friend," Draco murmured towards the fire, his eyes shining as his wrist went limp in his cousin's hand. "I wanted my father to be proud of me for once. Befriending Harry Potter."

"Maybe," Sirius agreed. "It wouldn't have lasted, Draco. Not when Harry got closer to you. But things are different now, you'll see."

"What if they don't get better?"

"They will."

"What if he hates me all over again?" Draco asked, his voice cracking a little. "I could deal with it when we were teenagers. We grew up with it. But now I have to see it all war inside his head. What if it doesn't change? What if he still hates me?"

"He never hated you, Draco. He wanted to stop bad things from happening, sure, but he saved you. He took your hand that day and he saved you in that infernal room."

Draco winced, turning his gaze away from the fire in the grate.

"Get some sleep, Draco."

"Can you stay with me? Until I drift off?"

Sirius nodded, "Of course. I'm not going anywhere."

When Draco eventually fell asleep, still softly clinging to his cousin's hand, he dreamed of that day in the fiendfyre, how the heat licked his skin, how he was clinging for dear life and pleading with every tear running down his face that Potter would just turn back on that fucking broom, reach out his hand and ...

.

~0~

.

Sirius watched over his glasses -yes, he needed glasses now like some old man! -as Remus rocked a fussing Teddy back and forth whilst pacing the room. It seemed so natural for Remus to come to his room now, with Teddy in tow. If he found it odd that Sirius never turned the cot back into the old coffee table it had once been, he never mentioned it. Sirius wasn't about to object to Remus' company in his bed, even if it was completely platonic. He just wanted his werewolf friend close and safe. Once Teddy was settled down in his cot, Remus slid easily into the bed beside Sirius, not close enough to touch but enough to feel the heat radiating from the other side of the bed.

"Did you boys have fun today?" Remus teased, shooting a tired smile Sirius' way as he reached for a tome about magical creatures.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," sighed the older man, setting his own book to one side. "I think Harry's starting to remember."

"Really? It's a bit soon for that isn't it?" Remus frowned.

"I think they're hazy memories at best, but he definitely remembers being picked on and bullied." Sirius felt his throat close tight. Suddenly it was too hard to get the words out.

Remus took his hand and squeezed.

"I just ... I didn't think they'd be so cruel to him at such a young age."

"We always knew they were horrible people."

"That doesn't make it right!"

"No," Remus agreed softly, "No, it doesn't make any of it right. Least of all that Dumbledore continued to send him back there, even after it came to light."

Sirius snorted, "Yeah Draco said much the same thing."

Remus reached out and threaded his fingers through Sirius' dark curls. They bounced and snagged around his fingers, as though they had a life of their own. It always made him smile. Taking a deep breath he said, "You knew he wasn't going to have a completely blank slate, Paddy. We knew this was bound to happen sooner or later."

Heaving a sigh, as though the weight of the world were on his shoulders, Sirius nodded. "I guess I'd hoped it would take a little longer before this all came up."

"It might be," Remus placated. "For all you know this is the one memory he'll have kept at this age. You just need to be better prepared for it in the coming months."

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. "Not sure I'm ready for that, Remmy."

"Not sure you have a choice, Paddy."

Sirius huffed a small laugh, the exhaustion washing over him. He leaned sideways, so that his head was tucked against Remus' chest. He smelled like fresh linen and a sharp musk that seemed to cling to the lycan's skin no matter what. It smelled wonderful. The tension eased out of his muscles as Remus rubbed soothing circles into his back, comforting him in a way where words would fail. He felt his eyelids growing a little heavy.

"It'll be okay. You just need to focus on doing what's best for him day-to-day. Things will sort themselves out as long as you're there for him."

"You have to be there too!" Sirius hissed urgently, his fingers clenching into the folds of Remus' shirt.

Remus chuckled. "Of course, Paddy, I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," he nodded in a decisive manner, resuming his place half-cradled to the lycan's chest. "Every boy needs his Mummy."

"Oi!" Remus swatted him upside the head. "Who's to say you're not the Mummy?"

"Am not!"

"You have the longest hair!"

"Oh yeah? Well I also have the biggest -MPH!"

"Don't say that in front of the baby!" Remus snapped under his breath, his hand clamped hard over Sirius' face. The curly-haired man laughed, his whole body trembling with the effort of trying to keep quiet. "You're such a tosser, Paddy."

Before he could second guess himself, Sirius smacked a kiss to Remus' cheek. "Love yah too, Moony!" he grinned, before burrowing down into his pillows, the blankets pulled tight over his head.

Remus sat there, too stunned to react. He raised a hand to his cheek feeling the slight damp spot before shaking the thoughts away. "Tosser," he mumbled before picking his book back up and tried to finish the chapter he'd been reading.

He did not succeed.

.

~0~

.

Starting a few days later, the world had seemed to adjust itself and yet certain things were amplified.

Draco couldn't tell if it was just that he was seeing things with a clearer perspective or just that a barrier in his head and been shattered and now the world wasn't all doom, gloom and death threads in the post. Even though the weather outside seemed content to be as grey and miserable as possible. He seemed to notice that Potter preferred runny eggs to dip his toast in instead of fried eggs. He found himself feeling warm inside when Sirius had Potter stand against the doorframe and mark his height each month. He hadn't noticed, until that morning, that Sirius had gotten Potter's original height measurements as well.

He was comparing the difference from Potter's actual childhood to now.

When he was sure no one else had been looking, Draco had crouched down to have a peek; there was barely half a centimeter difference but it could become even more drastic when Potter hit his growth spurts for the second time.

_'Oh Merlin!_' he thought as he finished off his muggle cereal. '_What if Potter becomes taller than me?!_'

The thought made his insides twist, though he wasn't sure why.

Whenever either of them were at home, Remus and Sirius made sure to make use of their camera to take photos of all of Potter's milestones. When he had some time to himself, Draco would go down into the kitchen and look at the numerous photos in their newly hung frames on the walls and feel his insides burn a little brighter. Such innocent memories; Potter learning to brush his teeth over the sink whilst on a small plastic footstool, Potter learning to write his name with a backwards 'r' in the middle, and an up-close photo of Sirius, Potter and Remus with Teddy cradled against his shoulder all smooshed into the frame. The most recent photo, developed just the previous evening, was Potter holding baby Teddy for the first time all by himself. Remus was right beside him in the frame, of course, but Potter's beaming face at the camera and the way he pressed a big kiss to Teddy's forehead was too perfect for words.

'_Since when have I thought Potter was, in any way, perfect?'_ he cringed at the thought, turning away from the mounted frames. He couldn't help but feel disheartened that he wasn't in any of those photos.

Perhaps he'd been too standoffish with the brat?

Rubbing the back of his neck, he steered away from the main door and traipsed down into the cellar. After he had helped clear the place out and aided in the cleaning Draco was a little surprised to see that pristine, elegantly carved work counters had been moved into the large space; they were pressed up along the wall beneath the window, another long 'L' shaped one across the other room, and a small 'U' shaped island in the middle with a space to fit a large cauldron neatly inside. There was even a neat, brick fireplace at the far end of the room. Despite every shelf being empty, Draco regarded every nook and cranny as though they already had glistening crystal and glass vials inside, or small earthenware pots for various herbs.

His heart swelled with so much gratitude it felt took big for his chest. Any moment he was going to have a panic attack.

When had Sirius and Remus arranged all of this for him? He was in the house all day, every day, how did he not notice?

Walking around the room, he let his fingertips brush over the woodwork, feeling the tickle of protective charms against his skin. The small window had been enlarged to let more natural light in, but also had a black-out blind for curing ingredients that would disintegrate in sunlight. It was a magnificent space, one he could only ever dream of having. Now he had it, right in front of him, and he was almost too emotional to think properly.

'_I need to thank them,_' he thought, spinning on his heels and hurrying from the cellar.

As soon as he slid into the entrance hall, he was dimly aware of noises from upstairs. One of them was always home. Tearing up the stairs, Draco tossed open so many doors on the first floor before finding Sirius and Potter in Potter's room. The door banged a little too loudly as he opened it, causing his cousin and Potter to startle.

"Draco what's wr-OOF!" Sirius was nearly bowled over as Draco threw his arms around his cousin and hugged him tight.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Draco gasped in a rush, squeezing Sirius as tight as he could. "You didn't have to do this for me, I can't even begin to -"

"What're you talking about, Draco?" Sirius asked, managing to ease the blonde a few inches away.

Draco slackened his hold and looked up at his cousin's grey eyes. "The cellar. All those counters and the fireplace. It's amazing! It's t-too much though, I can't -I shouldn't -"

"Oh! I hadn't realized everything had arrived!" Sirius grinned, showing all his teeth. "I bet Remus saw to it when it arrived and didn't tell me."

Draco unwound himself from his cousin, flushing with embarrassment. "Remus did all that? For me?"

"Well, we both poured over several catalogs to see where to get the best pieces, but I didn't realise Remus had gone ahead with the order. He must have wanted it to be a surprise."

Draco ducked his head. "He didn't need to do all of that for me. I mean -after everything -I just -"

"Draco." He only flinched a little when Sirius took him by the shoulders and bent his head so they were looking each other in the eyes. "Enough of that. You deserve to better yourself. It's what Harry and all of us fought the war for."

Speaking of Potter, Draco suddenly remembered that the brat was in the room, staring up at them with wide, green eyes, a finger hooked in his mouth.

"Er ... right. Well. I'll need to thank Remus when he gets home tonight."

Sirius chuckled. "Sounds good. Are you hungry?"

Draco shrugged.

"Alright, well once Harry managed to dress himself, we'll join you downstairs."

"Sure, I'll go and put the kettle on." He cringed as he left the room. Merlin, his father would have a heart attack at Draco making his own tea ... like a muggle!

_'Perhaps I should write him a letter?'_ Draco mused as he went downstairs to the kitchen

.

Potter and Sirius joined him in the kitchen ten minutes later. Potter was very proud of himself for dressing himself, even if his kiddie jeans were on backwards. Draco shot his cousin a pointed look but Sirius shrugged. He'd deal with it later. They ate breakfast, toast and bacon for the men and cereal for Potter, and waited for the post to arrive. Thanks to various wards, the Daily Prophet was filtered out of the equation altogether, although somehow a howler or two still managed to sneak inside. Sirius often tossed the red envelopes straight into the fire without opening them.

There was no such drama this morning.

There was, however, a new glossy catalog with an illustration of a bubbling cauldron on the front. Interest piqued, Draco leaned a little closer to see it. "What's this?" he asked.

"A catalog with all the alchemists in the country," Sirius stated, glancing briefly at the cover. "I was thinking you could look through that and see what ingredients you may want to help with your studies. Remus and I may order some basics as well just to keep Pepper-Up and general pain remedies in stock. It's not going to be pretty when a certain someone goes through growing pains."

Draco glanced down at Potter as he smashed a spoonful of mushy cereal into his mouth.

The things that went on in his life ... If he could have told himself, three years ago, where his life after the war would take him, he'd have Crucio-ed himself.

"Sure," he said, "I appreciate it."

"Don't mention it," Sirius smirked. "Everyone needs a hobby, Draco. If this helps you in your studies, then even better." Sirius took a swig from his mug. "When do you have to go back to the school? Friday?"

Draco nodded sullenly.

"I can't imagine it'll be fun for you. You can invite someone over if you like."

"Like who?"

"Hermione?"

Draco pulled a face, "Just because she's Potter's friend, doesn't mean she's going to be mine."

Sirius shrugged, "I figured it'd do you some good to converse with someone your own age that doesn't want to hex me."

"Granger would never hex me," he replied, haughtily. "She's rather punch me in the nose instead."

"Daddy says that hitting people is wrong," Potter piped up from his chair.

Draco nodded, "That's right. Hitting is very bad, so you shouldn't do it."

"I don't like hitting," Potter vehemently shook his head. "I don't hit Dudley, not even when he kicks me on the floor."

It was said so innocently but the gut-wrenching agony those words left behind was enough to make Draco shrink into himself and want to die. Or, at the very least, put him off his breakfast.

Swallowing the last lump of toast, Draco mumbled, "Maybe I will write to Granger. See if she's free."

"How about Ron?"

"I'm not that desperate yet."

Sirius laughed, the sound instantly making Draco's frayed nerves calmer.

.

It was almost dinner time and Draco was looking forward to just getting back to his room and finish reading the catalog Sirius had gotten him. He'd already written a list as long as his arm, but there was still at least a third of the catalog left. Unfortunately, this was also the night that Teddy refused to settle down after he'd been fed. Instead, his hair went a hideous shade of green and his face turned red as he screamed his lungs out.

"Draco, do you mind cooking for you and Harry?" Sirius had practically yelled to be heard over the infant in his arms. The screams were piercing. "I need to get Teddy settled down."

"Sure ... er ... yeah I'm sure I can handle that."

Smiling gratefully at his little cousin, Sirius adjusted his grip on Teddy and practically ran back up to their floor and into their room. The instant silence as the door closed and silencing charms were erected, was eerie. Ignoring the tremor going down his spine, Draco sighed and went into the lounge in search of Potter. He found the kid sprawled out on the rug, paper and pens spread out before him. Curious as to what the Golden Boy thought about as a child, Draco edged closer, peering over the mop of black hair.

There seemed to be a lot of pictures of green squiggly lines with red tongues poking out.

Snakes.

All thoughts of Potter being a parsletongue during their second year made the hairs all over Draco's body stand on end.

He couldn't know to talk to snakes so young, surely? Then again, he'd been surprised by Potter's own prowess and stupidity too many now.

Clearing his throat he said, "Hey Pot-uh-Harry. Sirius said we need to have dinner now."

"Oh, what are we having?" Potter asked, rolling onto his back, his black hair fanning out around his face.

It was odd how green his eyes looked without glasses.

Snapping back to reality, Draco clenched his teeth. "How about pasta?"

"Yummy!"

Draco inwardly sighed with relief. Pasta was easy. Remus had taught him that one in an evening and thankfully the few times Draco had attempted it since, had all been successes. "Okay. I'll give you ten minutes before you need to pack all this away."

"How long is ten minutes?"

Draco frowned.

"Point to the clock!"

Glancing at the small clock above the fireplace, Draco pointed to the number '4'. "When it gets to here, you need to tidy up, okay?"

"Okay!"

Feeling more in control than he had in ages, Draco went into the kitchen and started preparing dinner. He decided to make a lot extra, so that Remus and Sirius didn't need to scramble about making a late-night dinner for themselves. Remus would be home soon anyway. '_At least I can do some small thing to help_,' Draco thought, as he sliced up the onions and garlic.

.

Remus came through the large fireplace in the lounge at 7PM. It had taken a lot longer to sort out the detention group he'd been landed with, and trying to mark assignments whilst kids tried to hex one another under their desks, was never going to end well for him. At least he came home to a clean house; Harry's drawings were all neatly stacked on the side table with his colouring pens, and there was a delicious smell coming from the kitchen.

He was a little disappointed that no one was eating with him. A note on the lid of the saucepan read;

'_Glad you're home, Moony. Draco made dinner for everyone. I've kept it on a stasis charm so you can have a home-cooked meal after a long day. -S x_'

Remus smiled, the warm glow encompassing him. He didn't rush that evening; he took his time eating the delicious food, putting any left overs in the fridge for tomorrow, and made himself a cup of tea to take up to bed with him. He left all his paperwork on the kitchen table; he didn't want to look at the case anymore that night.

He was too tired tonight. Ordinarily, he'd pester Sirius to watch some muggle show on TV, but he didn't have the energy. As he got to the first landing, a sound caught his attention. Draco was still awake, naturally, but his voice was coming from ... Harry's room? Curious, he crossed the landing and peered in through the gap in the door; Draco was sat in the rocking chair beside Harry's bed, leaning his chin on his hands, elbows on his knees, and staring intently at the book Harry was holding up.

Harry's voice snapped him out of his musings.

"Then the witch flicked her wand and con -conj -Draco what does that word say?"

A brief pause. "Conjured."

"Conjured?"

"That's right."

"What does 'conjured' mean?"

"It means ... made it appear."

"Oh. Does Daddy conjured stuff?"

"Conjure. Yes he does. All the time."

"Oh." Harry glanced down at the book. "Like what?"

"Like ..." Draco hedged, biting on his lip. "Like when he clicks his fingers and a tissue appears."

"But Daddy has a wand too?"

"Yes, he does."

"Do you have a wand?"

"Somewhere."

"Will I get a wand?"

"One day, when you're old enough."

"That'll take forever!" Harry whined. "Can I borrow your one?"

Draco looked torn between amusement and distress. "First you need to learn big words. Then you can play with a wand. Deal?"

Harry twisted his face up in thought. "How many big words?"

"I don't know. What's the highest number you can count to?"

"A HUNDRED!"

"Then you need to learn one hundred big words, before you get to play with my wand."

Harry pouted.

Unperturbed, Draco tapped the page of the book. "Come on, two more pages and then bed."

"Is Daddy going to come and give me another kiss?"

Draco frowned, "I think your Daddy is looking after Teddy."

"Oh. That's okay."

They settled back into reading the children's book. Remus was almost floored by the entire interaction; he felt as though he was walking on air.

When he got to his room he noticed that it was quiet and cold. A shiver ran through him. Of course, Teddy was sleeping in Sirius' room. Fighting back a smile, the weary man changed into a pair of warm pyjamas before walking quietly along the corridor to Sirius' room. The glow from the orbs floating overhead was dim and relaxing. Sirius was snoring quietly on his side of the bed, his messy curls spread out across the pillow. Teddy was sleeping soundly in his cot. His tiny hands were so small and soft, it made Remus' heart ache.

Sliding into the bed, Remus was about to curl up and go to sleep when Sirius shifted, burrowing deeper into his pillows.

Allowing himself one guilty pleasure, Remus leaned over and pressed a chaste kiss to Sirius' forehead. "You're far too good for me," he murmured, before lying down on the pillows and letting the days events wash through him and coax him to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: I'm sorry for the long wait in updates. Costume orders and general life seem to be getting in the way again :( much love! X**


	18. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: Thank you guys so much, the reviews on my last chapter were amazing on here and AO3! I nearly melted, I was so happy! Thank you all for the support!**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

.

The last week of October came with a busy few days for Draco. He had an appointment with Dr. Lisa and to go into Hogwart's and hand-in his latest round of assignments. Thankfully, he hadn't had anymore incidents with other students and Auror Buxley made sure to accompany him within two feet wherever he went. As much as Draco loathed having an escort, at least he didn't get any stinging jinxes thrown at him, or if he did he wasn't aware of them.

Slughorn continued to be impressed by his potions essays and, when Draco told him of the lab that Sirius and Remus had set-up for him, even gave him a list of some potions they were to practice brewing in the next term. He told Draco that all he needed to do was bring in a phial of the completed potion along with any essays he had due in, and it would count towards his grades.

Draco had dared to leave the castle with a glimmer of hope in his chest.

His appointment with Dr. Lisa was another matter.

He told her all about how he had realised how terrible his actions were just in the name of trying to please his father and, in a sense, being brain-washed with the Dark Lords propaganda. While she was pleased with his progress and that he was wriggling out of his denial phase, she still wanted to push him into talking about the war. He wasn't ready for that, and as soon as she pushed into that territory, he clammed up. He was aware he was doing it, but weren't the nightmares enough? Did he really need to talk about them as well?

The session ended on a sour note, and when he got back to Grimmauld place, he locked himself in his room.

.

Potter was getting a little taller with each week. It was mere millimeters every time, but now that he was up to Draco's thigh and was a ball of energy, racing about as much as his skinny legs would carry him. He was also taking his deal with Draco very seriously and was doing his best to learn as many words as possible.

Sirius found it rather cute, how much Harry was trying to impress Draco. He'd never had so many adults in his life before that would pay so much attention to him and praise him for doing things right. He was getting much better at the writing too, and Draco had made a vow to Sirius that, in a few months time, he was going to start teaching the kid cursive handwriting, as his 'chicken scrawl' had been appalling to read.

The fractured memories that Potter let slip sometimes still threw Draco. He didn't know how to process them as they came at him from all angles. It would agitate or upset him, knowing that he could only really talk to Sirius or Remus about such things, and even then their own knowledge was limited. Begrudgingly, the one person who probably knew as much as Potter himself, was going to be his friends. The thought of talking to Granger at all bothered him, however Draco did conceded that maybe he did miss company his own age.

That's how he found himself outside the study door and knocking gently.

"Come in!"

Pushing the door open, he raised his eyebrows in surprise upon seeing Remus and Sirius lounging on either side of the desk, essay papers spread out across the top. They were both a little rumpled, in casual, comfy muggle clothes and with a mug of tea each.

"What's up, kid?" Sirius asked, leaning back in his chair.

"I can come back later, if I'm interrupting."

"Ah, you're fine," Sirius brushed his concern away. "We're just making first and second years papers. It's boring. What's up?"

Draco fidgeted slightly, his palms growing warm. "I ... er ... was wondering if it's okay for me to invite Granger over this weekend?"

Both heads snapped up to look at him, wearing twin expressions of shock. Remus set his quill to one side and leaned back in his chair, almost exactly as Sirius had done. "Are you that bored?"

Draco shook his head, "Oh, no. I've just had some things on my mind and she seemed like the best person to ask."

"Is this about Harry?" Sirius asked, quirking a dark eyebrow.

"... Yes."

"Draco, you know you can always come to us with these things."

"I know," he looked at the floor, unable to meet their gaze. "It's just -I know you two have a lot on your plate right now. Besides, we all know I need to make amends for past mistakes and try and get on with Potter's friends, especially as he gets older and they'll want to visit more often. I can't hide in my room forever, right?"

"Well you could try, but I'd imagine it'd get very boring," Sirius teased. He spun his chair so that he could look at Remus, "Do we have any plans on Saturday?"

"I was thinking we could go and see Andromeda with the children," Remus shrugged. "It's been a while since she's seen Teddy, and I'm sure she'd love to fuss over Harry."

Sirius spun back around to look up at Draco. "Do you think you two will be alright in the house by yourself for the afternoon?"

"I'm sure we'll manage," Draco replied tartly. "I can't do magic and she has a decent right hook. The only one going to come out of it injured, will be me."

The pair exchanged a glance, and it was in that moment that Draco realised just how close these two men were. They had been best friends for years, gone through two wars together and now they were dancing around one another. Draco could understand it was hard to move on from a spouse, especially after having them be murdered, but Draco wasn't sure what Remus was holding back. Perhaps it wasn't his business to know. He could see how doting Sirius was to the other man. It was plain as day.

"Okay er ... thank you for letting me invite Granger. I'll write to her now and ask if she's free."

"You can do that in here, Draco," Remus reasoned, flicking his hand so that a spare quill, ink bottle and piece of parchment floated over to the armchair they had in the corner by the fireplace.

Biting his lip he said, "Thank you."

Settling into the armchair, he debated on what to write and kept grinding his teeth at how best to word such an odd request. In the end, he just decided to throw caution to the wind and keep it short and simple.

.

'_Dear Granger,_

_I know this may seem an odd request, but things have come to light regarding some of Potter's memories from his childhood. I had hoped you'd be able to shed some light on this for me, as I'd like to better understand what has happened to him. If you're able, you're welcome to come here this Saturday sometime in the afternoon. _

_Have a pleasant evening,_

_Draco Malfoy._'

.

"Done. May I borrow Archimedes?" he asked.

"That was quick," Sirius grinned. "Sure, make sure to give him some treats when he comes back."

Draco decided not to comment on that. Soon enough the scratching of quills was picked up again, the silence broken only by Sirius saying things like, "Wait, wait! This kid actually thought that Salamander blood was good to use in a summoning ritual!" before collapsing over the desk in laughter. Remus would tut or roll his eyes, but Draco could see the small smile tugging at the mans lips.

A tap on the window nearly made him yell out.

It was just Archimedes with a reply from Granger.

Feeling as though his whole body weighed a ton, Draco dragged himself to the window to let the barn owl inside. Puffing out his chest, Archimedes accepted the owl treats as he stuck out his leg for Draco to take the note.

.

'_Dear Draco,_

_I can't say I wasn't surprised by your letter, it took me a little while to process what you were asking. I'm free this weekend, Ron is going to see his family at the Burrow. I can pop by about 1pm if that's convenient for you? _

_Have a good night,_

_Hermione Granger_.'

.

Short, to the point, but overall it was a step in the right direction.

"What did Hermione say?" Remus asked, noticing that Draco was rereading the short note.

"She's free on Saturday. She'll be over by about 1pm."

"Ahh, good. Make sure that you eat beforehand."

Draco frowned. "Why?"

"If you two plan on talking for hours on end, I can imagine not much eating will take place," Remus shrugged. "Just stands to reason."

"They can have biscuits," Sirius stated.

"Biscuits are not good, Paddy," Remus sighed. "Although it does sound lovely right now."

"Shall we take a break?" Sirius asked, raking a hand through his mass of curls.

"I'd rather burn the lot, but that's not very professional of me."

Draco had to bite back a laugh at that. Sirius didn't restrain himself. Standing from the desk, the two men stretched their aching limbs before following Draco back down to the kitchen where he put on the kettle for a fresh batch of tea and went hunting in the cupboards for the good biscuits.

The rest of the evening passed rather quietly; Remus and Sirius eventually went back upstairs to finish grading papers and so Draco was left to his own devices. Eventually, he wandered into the lounge and tried to fiddle about with the TV. He couldn't remember what he watched, something to do with winning a load of money just by answering questions? Eventually, he drifted off on the sofa, the dying light from the fireplace keeping him warm.

.

~0~

.

The house was quiet as Draco waited on the edge of the sofa, his hands fiddling with the TV remote just to have something to do. Remus, Sirius and the kids had left about thirty-five minutes ago and it seemed like the longest thirty-five minutes of his life since the trial. He glanced for the millionth time at the clock on the mantle and cursed himself.

'_Stay calm_,' he willed himself. '_Granger isn't going to hex you. She was the one trying to encourage civility!_'

The roar of the floo made him jump out of his skin.

Granger stepped through as calmly as anyone could step through a floo, brushing soot from her hair and clothes onto the hearth. Combing her hair out of her eyes she gave a tight-lipped smile. "Afternoon Draco," she said.

Releasing some of the tension in his muscles he was able to utter a stiff, "Granger."

They stood facing one another awkwardly for a moment, before Granger gave a smile and gestured towards the door. "Would you mind if I got a drink?" she asked.

"H-help yourself."

He watched her walk through the ground floor with such familiarity it made him feel a twinge of jealousy. They went down into the kitchen where she helped herself to some muggle drink from the fridge. She poured it into a glass and took a long gulp before sighing. "Sorry, the floo always gives me a dry throat," she rubbed her neck for emphasis.

Draco nodded mutely.

"So what was it you wanted to talk about?"

It was a good thing she didn't want to do the small talk bit, because right now Draco wasn't sure he'd be able to choke out anything polite or noteworthy.

"Potter's started to get some memories back."

"So soon?" she frowned, leaning back against the kitchen counter. "I didn't think that would happen until he was a little bit older."

"Apparently his bad memories stem from an early age," he said bitterly. "Can you tell me what you know about his childhood growing up? His muggle relatives?"

Hermione licked her lips, her fingers drumming an erratic beat against the glass in her hand. She glanced down at it for a moment before sighing and shaking her head. "Would you like a cup of tea?"

He grimaced, "There's no use avoiding the topic, Granger."

"Hermione," she corrected. "And I'm not. I'm asking if you'd like a cup of tea to have something else to focus on when I tell you."

Clenching his teeth, he gave a stiff nod and watched as she breezed around the kitchen as though it were her second home. It niggled at him that she must have a history with the place, being Potter's friend and all, she must have been here countless times, even after Sirius had remodeled the place.

The kettle whistled. Granger poured two cups of tea and brought the milk and sugar over to the table. Draco sat down and fixed his tea -milk, two sugars -and watched as Granger did her own. She settled down in the chair and stirred her tea with a downward turn to her mouth. "I know you must have heard some rumours at school about his upbringing," she said quietly, her voice distant. "A lot of them were stupid, but the crux of most of them was that he was neglected as a child."

Draco nodded.

She drew in a deep breath. "Harry hasn't told me every sordid detail of his upbringing but suffice to say what he did share wasn't pleasant. There would be weeks were they would starve him as punishment for silly things; innocuous things they'd blame him for. Or they would feed him plain bread and water. I'm sure he mentioned that when they didn't want to deal with him at all, they'd lock him up in his cupboard for days at a time."

"His what?"

"His cupboard," she said. "Up until the age of eleven, right before first year, Harry slept in the cupboard under the stairs."

Draco felt the bottom drop out of his stomach.

He started to feel flustered but drank his tea in large gulps just so that he didn't throw something. He was sure the crockery rattled every so slightly in the cupboards but he chose to ignore it.

"I -I see," he ground out. "Continue."

"Well his family bullied him a lot, used him like a house-elf, cooking food before he was ten, cleaning up after everyone, denied desserts that sort of thing. His cousin was horrid to him," she pulled a face at the memory of having glimpsed the Dursley's at Kings Cross. "He had several spells of accidental magic and would get punished for those too, and he couldn't understand why."

Draco dug his nails into his thigh.

"They gave him a bedroom after first year. He threatened them with magic. He never told them that he was forbidden from doing it outside of school. The one good thing about his relatives being ignorant of magic," she gave a joyless smile.

"How very slytherin of him," Draco remarked.

"Ah, that's a story for another time," she said, her lips twitching. "He didn't find out until first year about what happened to his parents."

"WHAT?!"

She nodded, "His relatives maintained that they died in a car crash. They always believed that witches and wizards were freaks of nature."

Draco had a momentary flashback of Potter asking him why his relatives called him a freak and it twisted his insides until he felt sick. "How could they be so horrid? Without him, they'd most likely be dead by now!"

"They didn't care, Draco," she said. "The war was something that happened to our side, not to theirs. If they couldn't see it, hear about it, or be part of it, then it didn't exist."

"And since the war? None of them had the decency to say sorry?"

"His cousin did," Granger said. "From what I remember, Harry said they had a moment before his relatives went into hiding with Dudley, but I don't know if they've spoken since."

"What about his aunt and uncle?"

"Oh, his Uncle wouldn't give a toss whether he lived or died. His aunt -I think she realised the damage she'd done, bowing to her husband as she did. I think she knows that nothing she says will undo everything."

"Do you think Potter will feel differently after ... all this?"

"It's hard to say," Granger shrugged. "Only time will tell."

Draco drained the last of his tea and shook his head. "I just don't understand. Why did he choose to de-age himself after everything they did to him?"

"Maybe he forgot?" Granger pondered out loud. "He'd just found out he could do magic, it should have been a dream come true. But when you've spent most of your adult life being chased by a megalomaniac, child neglect truly does seem like the lesser or two evils. Not that it's any excuse but ..."

"He shouldn't have had to go through it at all."

"I did sometimes wonder how he might have turned out if he'd had a proper family, no abuse or neglect, but a proper, loving family. How he would have thrived. Apparently he did too," she frowned down into her cup before draining the last of her tea. "I can't begin to imagine his though process for any of this but ... we just have to grin and bear it and hope that it doesn't present too many challenges."

"How can it not? He's going to lose nearly two years of his life because of this and people are going to start to question where their Golden Boy has disappeared to."

"There are ways around that. Complicated ways, but Harry never does things by half."

"What are we meant to do when his memories come back more vividly?"

"You can do as you have been; preparing him that he may remember things, to be open about them and to question them. You have to be wholly open and honest with him now."

Draco snorted, "that's not going to go well."

She gave him a soft understanding smile. "It won't be easy. The more Harry ages, the more things he'll remember. Right now it's sporadic, many people don't remember their childhoods that vividly anyway. However, by the age of six, things will be quite intense for him."

"Another two months to go? Great," he sighed and rubbed his temples. He could feel the bud of a headache blooming. "I just wish there was more I could do."

Granger reached out and placed a firm, kind hand on his forearm and squeezed. He looked up, shocked as she smiled sadly at him. "You're already doing it. Being here, helping him, being a better person. It's all Harry ever wanted for all of us. Don't doubt yourself in that, Draco."

He swallowed thickly, her palm hot and heavy on his arm.

It felt nice to be touched by someone again. It had felt so long.

"You know, I had no idea about your parents," he blurted out.

Silence.

He didn't dare look up at her.

"For what it's worth, although I made fun of them for being muggles, I can't begin to understand how brave you were to erase their memories of you. I could never do that."

Removing her hand from his arm, she sat back in her chair a little straighter, her hands around her empty mug and her face turned down. "I'm not brave for that."

"Yes, you are!" this time it was he who reached out and touched her arm. "You kept them safe. I would never be able to do that. At the end of the day, I'm selfish. I want my mother to remember me no matter what evil, torturous thing happened to her. But you made that sacrifice -you could have died and they wouldn't have known. I would _want_ people to miss me, even though I don't deserve to linger in any way in peoples minds. But you, Granger." She looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes. "How could anyone measure up to you?"

The floodgates opened.

She burst into tears right before him, dropping forward into her hands and sobbing. He sat there awkwardly, not feeling comfortable enough to hug her, but knowing that squeezing her hand a little was territory not meant for him. The crying eventually subsided enough for her to wipe at her hazel eyes and choke a little, smiled as she _accio'd_ a tissue to wipe her face. "You know," she dabbed at her eyes. "You really should start calling me Hermione."

He gave her a awkward smile. "Okay ... Hermione."

.

~0~

.

"I still don't understand why you're all dressing-up?" Draco frowned as Remus bounced Teddy against his chest, both of them dressed as werewolves. Draco had to admit, Teddy looked all manner of adorable in the fuzzy wolf onesie, but he didn't understand why Remus even entertained the thought of wearing the brown fuzzy ears, gloves and comical tail hanging from his trousers.

"It's for Harry," Remus shrugged. "Although I'm almost positive that Sirius is getting a kick out of it all as well." He rolled his amber eyes. "Harry always said he never got to do this as a kid and I know it's more of an American custom but every kid should give it a go once, I think."

"Did you ever do this? As a kid?"

"Yes, I think I did it ... once or twice before I was bitten. As much as my family liked to joke spending Halloween chained up in the garage whilst you hear your friends laughing and running around outside is rather heartbreaking."

Draco pursed his lips, not knowing what to say.

Sending the shift in mood, Remus shook his head as Teddy grizzled on his shoulder. "So, you're not going to come with us?"

Draco pulled a face. "Not only do I not want to go, but even if I did, I don't have an outfit to wear."

"That's what you think!"

Both men turned to look up the stairs where Sirius stood, dressed from head-to-toe in black silk, a starched white shirt and a red lined cape with the highest collar Draco had ever seen. Across his chest he wore a gaudy red ribbon with a chunky gold cross inlaid with a ruby. That wasn't real, was it? His mane of dark curls had been slicked back to lie flat against his head, curling at the nape of his neck. From his mouth he wore the most comical fangs the blonde had ever seen!

"And what are you supposed to be?" he asked, cocking an amused eyebrow.

"Count Dracula obviously!"

"Uh huh, I'm sure. And where's Potter?"

"Here I am!"

The kid had come bouncing down the stairs dressed in fuzzy leggings and top, a puffy bulbous black body with eight squiggly legs pointing out of it, and on his head he had, what looked like, a black russian hat with two HUGE eyes stuck onto it.

"Oh yes and what are you today?" Draco teased.

"I'm a spider! See? I have eight legs!"

"Ah, yes. Very scary."

"Where's your costume, Draco?"

"Oh er ... I'm not going."

"But you have to! It's halloween!"

"You're more than welcome to come, Draco," Sirius smiled, placing a placating hand on Potter's head to stop him from bouncing. "Harry picked out your costume all my himself, didn't you?"

"Yes! It's amazing!"

Draco sighed. He really wanted to just have a quiet night in his room, like all his other nights, but seeing Potter so easy and bouncing about, prattling on about all the types of sweets he was going to get -and Merlin forbid if he mentioned his muggle relatives at all -and how Draco had to come too, otherwise he wouldn't get sweets, and that wasn't nice. It was all too hard to ignore.

"Fine," he eventually said. "Let me go and get changed."

"If it's too big, we can adjust it for you!" Sirius called after him.

Draco grumbled, not bothering to reply.

He didn't like to admit that he took him a smile to shuffle comfortable downstairs in the strange white costume, the flimsy, gauzy bandages trailing all over the place. The packet had said 'MUMMY COSTUME' and he'd read enough texts about Egypt to know this was a very basic rendition of a Mummy, complete with the silly wrap to go around his head.

When he came downstairs, he saw Sirius and Remus grinning wolfishly up at him, but Potter was having none of it.

"That's not how Mummy' walk, Draco. You have to do this-" He stuck out his arms and legs as straight as possible and starting walking with his arms outstretched. "Uuuuugh, uuuuugh! See?"

Maybe Potter hadn't been looking where he was going, but he smacked headfirst into the lounge door frame. Draco hurried down the last few steps just as Sirius scooped Potter up and brushed his fringe aside, looking for a bump. "Are you okay, love?" Sirius asked, wand out as he cast a few subtle diagnostic charms.

"Yeah ..." Potter rubbed at his head. "I didn't see the door."

Sirius frowned a little and exchanged a glance with Remus. They all knew what he was thinking; the door had been right in front of Potter's face, how had he not seen it?

"That's okay," Sirius crooned softly, bouncing Potter gently. "Let's go out and get lots of sweets, eh? Just make sure to hold mine or Draco's hand."

"Okay," Potter grinned, the bump on his head seemingly forgotten. Draco allowed the brat to snag one of his bandaged hands. "Let's go! Let's go! Let's go!"

.

.

Draco awoke in the early hours of the morning. He didn't realise what had disturbed him at first as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. Then he heard the crying.

Kicking his covers aside, he clawed on his dressing gown -Remus had insisted he would need one -and padded to his door. Opening it a fraction he peered out into the hall just in time to see Sirius carrying a wailing Potter to his own room. He'd completely forgotten that the aging process would happen against that night, although the pains seemed even more intense this time around.

"Don't let him get me!" Potter's small voice sobbed out through the darkness.

Draco's heart clenched.

Shifting out onto the landing, he strained his ears as he crept up the flight of stairs to the next landing. Outside Sirius' door, he pressed himself against the wall, straining to hear as his cousin attempted to soothe the infant.

Sat on the bed, Sirius held Harry against his chest, rubbing soothing circles into his back and pressed gentle kisses to his cheek and forehead whenever he could, gently shushing the child as he did so. "It's alright Harry, it was just a nightmare, no one's going to get you I promise."

"Make the lady stop screaming ... please ... it's scary ..."

Sirius' heart clenched and a tear raced down his cheek. "I know, love, I know it's scary. She was scared too, that's why she screamed." He bit his lip to stop himself from sobbing as he hugged Harry to his body.

Harry buried his head into Sirius' chest, his small hands clenching at the fabric of his shirt. He knew, deep down, that he was sat and warm, and that his daddy loved him. Daddy would protect him from the bad man. But whenever he closed his eyes, there was that flash of green light and, he didn't know why, but it scared him. Then the screaming echoed in his ears.

It took almost half an hour for Harry to quieten down.

He hiccoughed a few times, and let Sirius wipe his red, blotchy face with a handkerchief. Sirius looked down into those wide, watery green eyes and felt every fiber of his body flare with the urge to shield Harry from the horrors of his own past. He couldn't do that he knew that, but he couldn't admit to the full truth right now either. Fighting back a sob, he croaked out, "Do you want me to tell you why you had that nightmare, love?"

Harry looked up at him, his small bow lips turned down. He nodded.

"Well when you were a teeny tiny baby, a bad man wanted to hurt you. But your mummy was very brave and wouldn't let him do it. Your mummy saved your life."

"She screamed because she was scared of the bad man?"

"Yes, love. We all were."

Harry frowned, tugging at Sirius' shirt. "Where is mummy now?"

A lump caught in his throat. "Your um ... Y-your mummy isn't here anymore, Harry. She's an angel now."

"Oh ... When will she come back from being an angel?"

He couldn't cry. He _wouldn't_ cry. Not now, not while Harry was awake.

"I'm ... She won't be back from being an angel, sweetheart. Your mummy died to save you. So did your Daddy. Do you ... know what that means?"

"It means ... She went to sleep and ... can't wake up anymore."

"T-that's right, love."

Harry caught onto the waver in Sirius' voice. "Don't be sad, Daddy. The bad man didn't take you away. Only my other Daddy."

And Merlin, if that wasn't a punch to the gut, he didn't know what was!

"I ... I think it's time we go to sleep now, Harry."

"But everything hurts and I don't want to see the green light again!" the kid panicked, his eyes widening with fright.

"No, love, no. We'll have the night light on, okay? No bad man, no green lights or screaming okay? Just you and me."

"Okay ..." Harry squirmed, still unsure about the idea of going to sleep again.

Sirius took initiative in that moment, and picked Harry up off his lap and walked over to his bed. It was still warm from where he'd been sleeping in it. Fluffing up his pillows, he settled Harry into the indent he'd left, and gently tucked the warm blankets around him up to his chin, before brushing his black hair aside and placing a tender if damp kiss to his scar.

He climbed into the bed beside Harry, wrapped his arms around the kid, marveling at just how small he seemed in comparison, before the floating orbs above his bed dimmed to a soft, honey colour. It was instantly calming and Harry's tense little body relaxed against his chest. Harry turned over, burrowing his little face into the crook of Sirius' arm. The man threaded his fingers through Harry's hair, rubbing his back and pressed a kiss to his head.

"You know I love you, right Harry?"

"Mhm," Harry mumbled quietly. "Love you Daddy."

Sirius clenched his eyes shut, willing the tears to stay at bay until Harry had fallen asleep. It was definitely a struggle, but he couldn't give the child more ghosts to deal with.

Outside on the landing, Draco was crouched on the floor, his own eyes raw from where he kept wiping at them. His throat was thick from struggling not to cry and his bare feet were frozen to the floorboards. How could he have forgotten that tonight was the anniversary of the Potters' death? It made him feel physically ill. Once upon a time, they had just been people caught in the crossfire but now? It wasn't just that they were young and innocent and had had their whole lives ahead of them. It was the fact that Potter had been there, as a baby, and had somehow survived the ordeal.

And the most frightening, traumatizing thing about all that?

He remembered it.

* * *

**A/N: I hope I haven't broken any hearts? And look at you guys, getting two updates so close together? :P **

**Please be warned that updates will be sporadic as I'm getting a lot of costume commissions and have my own comic con prep, as well as work, to deal with. **

**If you loved this chapter please R&R **

**Belle xox**


	19. Chapter 18: November

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: I hope everyone is keeping safe during these difficult times. I will try my very best to update regularly to keep you from being bored!**

**Also, some months may only be in a single chapter, life is like that, and sometimes not a whole lot happens.**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

**~November~**

.

Five seemed to be the prominent number of November.

Potter turned five years old.

Sirius wigged-out exactly five times about Potter's eyesight.

And, for some reason, muggles liked to light huge fires on the fifth of November to celebrate some guy dying.

Muggles were weird.

.

"Just ... explain it to me again," Draco rubbed his temples, his quill poised over his parchment. He was penning a letter to his mother and had just started telling her about that weekends plans, when it clicked in his brain how little sense it all made. "Why do they light big fires and set off fireworks?"

Sirius chuckled as he stirred his tea. "Guy Fawkes was trying to blow-up the king of England."

"Which one?"

"James the first."

"I see ..." He quickly scribbled the name down. "And what happened? Did he succeed?"

A bark of laughter. "Of course not! He was found out along with all the gunpowder he hid under the palace. He was arrested and was sentenced to be hung, drawn and quartered. Sadly, he fell off the scaffolding and broke his neck, a much quicker death. To celebrate, years on, we burn his effigy in commemoration."

Draco's face was screwed up into one of confusion. "How does that make any sense?! Where do you even GET these effigy's from?"

"We make them?"

"You MAKE them?"

"Yeah, sometimes we make them into political parties we hate. I was thinking this year we could do Voldie."

Draco dropped his head into his hands, "This is hopeless! I'll never begin to understand muggles and their weird traditions!"

Sirius laughed, "The same as muggles don't understand a lot of ours, Draco."

The blonde groaned.

"What did you do to him now, Padfoot?" Remus asked in an exasperated manner as he cradled Teddy to his chest and poured himself a cup of coffee with the other. He seemed to be getting quite adept to multi-tasking these days. "Leave the poor boy, be."

Sirius, like always, ignored his friend and smirked across the table as Draco leaned back in his chair. "This is my daily entertainment," he stated over his shoulder.

Remus rolled his eyes and took a slurp of his coffee. "What time are we leaving this afternoon?"

"His appointment is at 2pm, and I thought we could take him for some ice cream afterwards."

"Appointment?" Draco asked curiously. "For what?"

"We're taking Harry to a specialist at St. Mungo's to have his eyes checked," Sirius said. "Healer's have to swear an oath. It's only a matter of time before the Prophet catches wind that Harry isn't in Romania helping Ron's brother at the dragon sanctuary."

"THAT'S the lie you told the reporters?!" Draco's jaw dropped. "And they believed you?"

"Oh Merlin no, they don't believe anything anyone says ever," Sirius shrugged. "It was Hermione's idea."

Draco nodded mutely.

"Do you want to come with us or stay here?"

"I thought I might stay here and try my hand at some simple potions," Draco admitted, his fingers itching to get back into the familiar habit of slicing and measuring ingredients. "If that's alright?"

"Of course," Sirius grinned. "We'll be back by 4pm the latest."

Draco gave his cousin a grateful smile, flushing with warmth when Sirius winked.

.

St. Mungo's was never a cheerful place to find oneself in. Sirius would much rather never set foot in the sodding building for the remainder of his life. Sitting in the hard-backed chairs in the waiting area, he kept a weather-eye on Harry as he played in the corner with a small children's quidditch set. Whenever they went out, they often cast a disillusion charm on the child, altering his appearance just enough so that people didn't immediately connect him to the sudden disappearance of Harry Potter.

When his name was finally called, he took Harry's hand in his own and followed a Healer to a private office on the third floor. As soon as they were inside, the Healer locked the door, cast a silencing charm around them. Sirius cast '_Finite Incantatum_' and the disillusion charm fell away from Harry as he settled on a comfy beanbag chair.

"Thank you for seeing us on such short notice, Healer Rodrik," Sirius greeted, sitting on one of the two vacant chairs across the desk.

"It's not an issue at all," the Healer smiled broadly. "Now I take it young Mr. Potter's eyesight has been fine up until now, is that correct?"

"Yes, he's losing focus and his depth perception is off."

"He mentioned mild headaches as well," Remus added.

"That will be the strain on the eyes," Rodrik nodded. "Even if it doesn't feel as though you're straining, the eyes are, and so it causes headache and sometimes dizziness." He made some notes in a journal. "So, what are you looking to get out of this examination?"

"We were hoping you could assess Harry's eyesight and advise on proper glasses for him."

"Were his original ones unsatisfactory?"

Sirius took a moment to calm his erratic, angry thoughts. "From what we've been told ... His muggle relatives just got him cheap glasses from muggle stores. I don't know that he was ever actually seen by ... What are the muggle eye specialists called?" He cast a sideways glance at Remus, his brows knitted.

"Opticians?"

"Yeah, those."

Rodrik made some more notes, his quill scratching loudly through the stifling atmosphere. "Since this is occurring at such an early age, there's a small chance Mr. Potter may not need glasses when he ages. Let me run my tests and I'll be able to tell you more after a diagnosis."

"Would you like us to wait outside?" Remus asked.

"No, not at all."

"Harry?" Sirius turned and beckoned his godson over. "I'd like you to meet Healer Rodrik."

Harry toddled over, his large, green eyes flicking between the men before him. His shoulder caught the edge of the desk and he winced. Sirius scooped him up onto his lap, taking care to firmly rub the pain away from his shoulder.

"Now, Harry, Healer Rodrik is going to test your eyes, okay?"

"What for?"

"He wants to see what's making you have headaches."

"Then what?"

Sirius frowned at the way Harry was hunched over, his small hands twisting in his lap. Placing one of his large hands over Harry's and squeezing gently, he pressed a kiss to the kid's temple. "We're going to see if you need to wear glasses for a little while."

A frown. "Do I have to?"

Sirius glanced at Remus, the stunned look in his eyes was hard to miss.

"Harry, don't you want to wear glasses?"

"People will make fun of me."

"No, love, no one's going to make fun of you."

"Dudley will."

Sirius scowled. "Dudley isn't coming around, Harry. He won't make fun of you."

"Harry?" The rumbling voice of the Healer drew Harry's attention to him across the large desk. "You see, I wear glasses," he tapped his wand to the wire frames. "I'm a very important Healer, and I couldn't do any of it without wearing my glasses."

"Really?"

"Oh yes! If I can't see where I'm going, I fall over people. Then we both end up hurt."

Harry twisted his lips, his brain whirring. He was sure people were going to make fun of him for wearing glasses. But Sirius and Remus promised that no one would, and they wouldn't lie to him, would they? "Can I choose my own glasses?" he eventually asked.

Rodrik smiled, "Of course you can. Now, why don't you hope onto this chair over here, and we'll get started."

.

.

Draco started awake, nearly falling off the sofa as the floo roared into life and spat out Sirius clutching Potter to his chest. He just about managed to get out of the way before Remus was stepping through. They vanished the soot from themselves, closed the floo network for the evening and slumped down on the sofa opposite. Potter immediately burrowed against the large sofa cushions, his eyelids drooping. Over an hour at St. Mungo's and then a large strawberry ice cream had definitely exhausted the poor kid.

"So how was it?" Draco asked hesitantly, not knowing how Potter had felt at all about wearing glasses in the first place. He didn't want the brat to start having a temper tantrum.

"It went fine," Sirius hummed thoughtfully. "Harry was very well behaved throughout the tests and Healer Rodrik said that we could get the new glasses within the week."

"That's a bit long, isn't it?"

"I thought that too," Remus raked a hand through his hair. "It's more to give Harry time to adjust to the idea, plus we have a little booklet with all the different types of glasses he can choose from. Maybe you can help him choose?"

Draco wanted to snap something back, but no words came. In truth, he had found it odd seeing Potter, even so small, without his glasses. There was no barrier between the butterfly-inducing green eyes and the rest of the world. He didn't know if he was happy or please at the latest developments. Obviously there was a reason Potter had needed glasses to begin with, the last week had been a testament to that.

"So what have you been up to today?" Sirius asked.

"I was working on some Pepper-Up potions. They're simmering at the moment, but I should have a small batch finished by 10pm."

"Brilliant," Remus beamed.

"And any plans for the weekend?"

"Sirius, it's freezing outside!" Draco glowered at his cousin. "I'm not going out there, no matter how many jumper or warming charms you throw at me."

"You will when we get to lighting that bonfire, you mark my words."

The blonde rolled his eyes. "Other than burning us all to cinders, what're your plans?"

"Making sure the house doesn't burn down," Remus intoned.

"Probably take my bike for an MOT and one last ride around London before the weather gets too bad."

"What is it with you and muggle things?" Draco groused, picking at a loose thread on the sofa cushion he was leaning on. "Some of the kitchen things, I can understand to a degree. But that -that -"

"Motorbike."

"Yes, that. I don't see the appeal."

"Well it's like flying, except I have the added adventure of weaving around other cars and feel free to do as I please."

"Didn't you make that thing able to fly?" the blonde frowned.

"Of course I made it fly!"

Remus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I never understood why you don't just use a broom."

"Because a broom, dear Moony, squishes me in very cumbersome ways and I rather not have my nuts back inside my body, thank you very much."

"Sure, _that's_ the reason."

"Can I go on it?"

The words were out of his mouth before he'd been able to fully understand what he was asking. He was agreeing to go on a muggle death-machine, among thousands of other death-machines, in the name of a little freedom? Was he truly that bored being stuck inside all the time?

The two men exchanged a glance. "Sure, you're more than welcome to come along with me when I take it to the garage. We can apparate back."

"You'll need to ask permission from Kingsley," Remus interrupted apologetically. "Remember, you are meant to be on house arrest. Even muggles don't get to take their bike to the shop."

Draco felt his heart sink a little.

"I'm sure it'll be fine. We went on that weekend away, remember? I'll write to him in the morning and see if he'll allow it."

"I ... appreciate it."

"I know you do, Draco," Sirius smiled at him across the room. It made Draco feel a little lighter. "Right, I'm going to put Harry down for a little nap in his room. You two can decide what to do for dinner."

"I was thinking we might have a take-away," Remus hummed thoughtfully. "I'm not due to pick up Teddy until tomorrow morning, so we can have a nice, chilled evening."

"Sounds good," Sirius grinned as he bent to scoop Potter up into his arms. Draco watched as the boy drooped awkwardly against Sirius' shoulder. "I think I have some muggle money in the jar in the kitchen."

.

7pm that evening found Draco hunched over in a warm coat borrowed, and shrunken, from Sirius' cupboard. He didn't have anything decent from the manor and the last thing he wanted was to get a cold. Remus led him down through the muggle streets, the orange lamplight's painting everything black and orange like a halloween party. A few muggles walking their dogs along the street passed them by, and Draco couldn't help but stare after them for a few meters, before hurrying to catch-up with Remus.

There had been a debate among the three men about which take-away they would be going to. Sirius fancied a Chinese, but apparently he had it a lot, so Remus was opting for a 'Chippy' whatever that was. They'd left it for Draco to be the tie-breaker. They'd had Chinese a couple of times, so they were going to the 'chippy' which Draco came to learn, as they entered under a bright blue sign, was a place that served cheap fish, nuggets -whatever they were -pies, sausages and other assorted things.

The smell alone made Draco's insides growl loudly.

They had to wait for a little while to be served, but Draco didn't mind. He was fascinated by the muggle newspapers littered across the small, shiny tables. It unnerved him that their pictures didn't move, but he'd known about that sort of thing since he was a child. Once they'd paid for everything, Remus carried the muggle money, they hurried back to Grimmauld place with their hot, greasy, salty bounty tucked under both their arms.

Potter was awake and eagerly pestering Sirius for his dinner when the two arrived home. It didn't take long to dish everything out over the kitchen table.

"So can you tell me why you two love celebrating this bonfire night so much?" Draco asked, munching his way through his chips. They were perfect; hot, greasy, and crispy, everything he could ever want in his mouth. He licked salt from his fingers, seeing as none of them had bothered with cutlery.

"I can't really say, it was just always fun when these guys came home with me for the half-term holiday," Remus grinned. "They loved running around with the sparklers and watching the fireworks."

"No, the thing I loved most about it were the S'MORES!" Sirius cackled.

"What's a s'more?" Draco frowned.

"It's where you hold a marshmallow over the fire until it goes gooey, then you slap it between two crackers or whatever. It's GRAND!"

"Thank you, that cleared everything up," the blonde drawled.

"Can I have a s'more?" Harry asked, picking up another piece of his sliced sausage.

Sirius ruffled the kids hair and adjusted his position on his lap. "Of course you can, pup, when we have the bonfire tomorrow night."

"Did you invite anyone else?" Draco asked.

"Just Andromeda, Hermione and Ron and us will be enough," Sirius cast a look at Remus, "We'll have to make sure Teddy isn't bothered by the fireworks, too."

The lycan gave him a grateful smile. "I imagine everything will be finished by 10pm."

"Sounds good," Sirius grinned. "Then someone can get his beauty sleep," he winked at Draco.

The blonde rolled his eyes and threw a chip at his cousin.

"Now, now, Paddy, don't go showing Harry it's alright to throw his food."

"Draco started it!"

"Well I'm ending it."

Draco snickered, noting the small smile on Remus' lips as he swatted Sirius on the shoulder. Maybe it had been a good thing, being sent to live here? Maybe, just maybe, things would get better for him.

.

.

Bonfire night brought a small cluster of people to Grimmauld place, crowding into the kitchen for some mulled wine or hot chocolate and then out to the back garden where the heap of broken tree branches and other wooden things waiting to burn, sat at the end of the garden. They were trying to do everything as muggle as possible, even though Draco had spied the Weasley Wizard Wheezes boxes in a small pile in the corner of the back room.

'_Those must be the fireworks_,' he'd mused on his way out. At least that was something to look forward to.

Zipping up his navy blue peacoat -a necessity Remus had insisted he needed -he made his way out into the garden to join everyone else. Weasley and Hermione were stood off to one side, arms wrapped around themselves, their breath rising in small plumes of vapour. Hermione was in a plum coat, a little cream hat nestled on her curls. Weasley looked much like a muggle lumberjack in those catalogues, a jacket with a thick fur collar and heavy-soled boots.

Once everyone was assembled and had a drink in had, Remus and Sirius fumbled around for a few minutes before the heap of wood caught alight and their lopsided stuffed dummy on top burst into flames. Everyone cheered as the flames rose higher. Draco watched the fire, his heartrate speeding up as he felt the rush of heat on his skin.

_He was in the room again ..._

_He and Blaise clinging to a broken table ..._

_The heat rising up, singing the hem of his trousers ..._

Something clutched his legs tightly, jolting him out of his nightmares and almost flat on his arse. Regaining his footing, he looked down to see a mop of black hair at his knees. "H-hey," he choked out. "What's um ... what's wrong, Potter?"

Potter shook his head.

Wriggling out of the toddlers grip, he knelt down and looked Potter in the eye. "What's up?"

Pouting, Potter mumbled, "Big fire. Don't like it."

Glancing over the kid's head, Draco had to sigh and agree. He didn't like the big fire either. "That's okay. Neither do I." Potter's head jerked up, his eyes wide and surprised. "Why don't we wait for Sir -I mean -Paddy to come and make some of those s'more things?"

Potter sniffed, "Okay."

It was a small victory, but it was something.

They watched the fire burn for a while, slowly sinking to the ground to make a more manageable flame. Sirius emerged from the house with long thin sticks and a bag of marshmallows. "Who wants s'mores?!" he called out.

There was a cheer, and then the crunch of frosted grass as people made their way over to the fire. Draco tugged Potter's sleeve and together they joined the rest of the group at the fire's edge.

"Hey there you two," Sirius grinned as he handed out sticks. "Do you want a s'more?"

"I ... uh ... don't know how to make it," Draco hedged.

"It's okay, just watch me." He speared a marshmallow on a stick and held it out to Potter. The kid took it nervously, his bottom lip sticking out. "Now you hold it over the fire until it goes brown." He extended Potter's arm toward the flame, making sure to form a barrier with his body. Draco watched as the puffy sweet started to melt. Sirius saw too, and pulled the stick away. "Now you can either eat like this, or ..." he accio'd two crackers from Remus, and squished the sweet inbetween, pulling the stick away, "Like this."

Potter hesitantly took the strange offering and took a bite. His eyes went wide. "WOW! That's the best thing ever!"

Sirius laughed, ruffling Potter's hair. He glanced up at Draco and quirked an eyebrow, "Do you want one, Draco?"

He didn't want to admit it, but his expression must have given him away.

"We can make another one altogether, how about that?" Sirius asked. He handed Draco a marshmallow on a stick, and then did the same as before with Potter, forming a small barrier between the kid and the flames, making sure his grey knitted scarf didn't catch alight.

Draco crouched down on Potter's other side and tried to ignore the cold sweat that rushed down his back. Holding his marshmallow over the flame, he mirrored Sirius' movements until he was eating his first ever s'more and dear Merlin it may just be the best thing he'd ever eaten!

.

An hour later, Draco was too agitated from being around the fire, and whilst the fireworks had been amazing -as per all the Weasleys products -he just wasn't in the mood to be near people anymore. He left Potter with Weasley and Hermione and, whilst hesitant as first, had been left writing as many letters as he could remember with a sparkler with the other two. It was a sight to behold, see the three of them laughing and having fun. It left Draco feeling very much alone, hence why he was retreating to his room.

Merlin, even the way Weasley was grinning and helping Potter write his full name made his jealous!

He felt pathetic!

He refused to admit, even in his own head, that he was jealous of the Weasel!

Groaning, he went to his room and laid down on his bed, kicking his shoes off and listening as they fell to the floor. He'd never have dared to do that at the Manor.

He must have dozed off for a little while because it felt a little too soon when he heard the roar of the floo activating as people left for home. That meant everyone would seen be heading to bed. His gut grumbled and he grimaced before sitting upright. Hopefully there was still some food left downstairs.

As he expected, downstairs was deserted, the doors and windows locked and Sirius was in the kitchen with Potter perched at the table. The clock on above the fireplace read 9:45pm.

"Is there any food left?" he asked, stepping down into the kitchen.

Sirius grinned, "Sure, you can help yourselves. Harry was wondering if you'd like to watch a movie with him?"

"A little late isn't it?"

Sirius shrugged, "It's a on-off treat. Besides, he'll fall asleep before the end of it."

Draco sighed, "I suppose I can keep the rugrat company." He absolutely did NOT care that Potter beamed up at him. "Where's Remus?"

"He went to check on Teddy. Probably gone to sleep, he looked fairly worn out by the end." Draco nodded in understand. "Right, grab a plate, grab some food and head into the lounge. I set-up a little surprise for you two," he grinned wolfishly before clapping Draco on the shoulder on his way out of the kitchen.

Draco shook his head in bemusement. Turning his attention to Potter he went to grab an empty plate and started piling as much as he could fit onto it. "Alright, brat, let's see what Paddy set up for you." He cringed at the nickname, it didn't roll off his tongue well but he couldn't well crap all over Potter's obsession that Sirius was his 'daddy'.

In the lounge his jaw dropped at what he saw; propped up and facing the TV was what looked like some type of tent made entirely out of blankets!

"Yey a blanket fort!" Potter squealed, darting down inside and poking his head out, "Come inside, Draco! We have to watch a movie!"

Frowning, Draco gingerly crouched down, balancing the plate in his hands, and wriggled down into the tent alongside Potter. Inside was littered with bed pillows and cushions. At least it was comfortable. Setting the plate down, Draco did his best to slide a DVD into the player and only had one little hiccough before the movie loaded onto the screen. They sat on the cushions, eyes glued to the screen and munching on the snacks and didn't even register Sirius coming into the room until his mass of curls dropped down into view, making them both jump.

He grinned, "You two okay down here?"

"Yes!" Potter chimed. "Can we sleep down here?"

"You can, if that's alright with Draco," Sirius raised an eyebrow at the blonde.

"I suppose ... one night couldn't hurt?"

"Okay, just don't stay up too late."

"We won't! Love you, Daddy!"

"Love you too, pup." Sirius smiled. "Goodnight Draco."

"Night."

.

Rubbing his eyes, Sirius walked into his bedroom ready to shed his clothes and the day from his person, when he stopped short in the doorway. Remus was asleep in his bed, rumpled already, his hair a little messed up. His heart ached in his chest; he really was smitten. He changed into a pair of pyjamas, the weather having definitely cooled the house down, and just as he was about to climb into bed, Teddy began to stir.

Stifling a yawn, he goes over to the cot and tenderly lifts the baby up against his chest. He strokes Teddy's hair, pressed a kiss to his forehead and slowly rocks him back and forth as he paces.

"Shh, shh, it's okay Teddy," he whispered soothingly. "Let's not cry and wake up your Daddy, hm? It's alright, I'm here."

As he calmed Teddy down enough to settle him back in his cot, Sirius was too tired to notice a pair of golden eyes open and watching him from the bed. He didn't realise that Remus was watching him, feeling emotional and as though he wanted to kick the covers aside and hug Sirius from behind.

However, he was glad that -as soon as he climbed under the covers -Remus seemed to turn in his sleep and wriggle a little closer.

He did get a mug of the good coffee the next morning, and he was grateful for it.

.

Back in the blanket fort, the movie was quiet on the TV but both boys had forgotten about it. The lights were dim, and the pillows and blanket they were tucked into were warm and soft. It was so cosy even Draco was resigning himself to the idea of sleeping on the floor. His eyelids were growing heavy and he was just lying down fully when a small voice made him more alert.

"Draco, can you keep a secret?"

A sense of dread flooded his stomach.

"Uh ... I suppose so."

The kid wriggled a little so that he was lying with his head cocked to the side, facing Draco. "I have bad dreams."

"What about?"

"This fat boy called Dudley hits me with a stick," Potter mumbled.

Draco's insides completely knotted. Licking his lips he hesitantly asked, "A-and what else?"

"He ... calls me a freak." Two large, shiny green eyes looked up at him and it made the blonde's breath hitch. "I'm not a freak ... am I?"

Once upon a time, he would have been the bastard to call Potter a freak for being different than himself.

He would have teased and taunted him and made him miserable for refusing his hand.

At the very least, he could just not say anything at all. He didn't want to break the kid's heart, nor did he want to over-inflate his ego. Yet somehow, despite himself, he shook his head. "No. You're not a freak. You know what you are?" he asked, turning so that he was lying on his side, his face mere inches from Potter's. "You're perfectly normal; you're kind, caring and you're very, very brave."

"I'm not brave!" Potter shook his head, almost smacking his head into Draco's nose. "Only prince's and superheroes are brave!"

"Well, maybe one day you can be a superhero too?" Draco says with a small smile. "Maybe that's why I like you so much, because I know one day you'll be a superhero. Then you can go around saving people from dragons, and trolls and goblins."

"Even ..." Potter dropped his gaze, his little hands fumbling with one of the blankets he was lying on. "Even if ... I have to wear glasses?"

"Of course," Draco assured him. "You know, I always knew you with glasses. This is very strange for me to see you without them."

"Don't you like me without glasses?"

"I do."

"Oh," this seemed to take him by surprise. "But you always call me 'Potter'."

"Do I?" Draco said, even though he was aware of it.

"When I get glasses, you have to start calling me Harry. Deal?"

"Uh ... deal?"

Potter held out his small hand. It disappeared as Draco took it in his own, and shook. The kid had the nerve to beam at him before he opened his mouth in a yawn. "Draco?"

"Hm?"

"Can I have a cuddle? Daddy always gives me a cuddle to help me sleep?"

Draco felt himself tense up. He'd barely formed a reply in his brain before a warm weight settled on his chest; he looked down to see that Potter had already curled into his side. His small hand rested on Draco's chest and it made his insides tight with nerves. A part of him really wanted to call out for help from Sirius, but another part of him was almost too tired to care. It wasn't as though anyone else were around to see, and it wasn't as though Potter was likely to remember this one night, an isolated incident.

Was he?

It was late, he decided as his eyes finally grew too heavy to fight off sleep.

To say that he was equal parts glad and annoyed when, two days later, a newly framed photo found itself on the kitchen wall of a very cosy looking Draco curled up in a blanket fort with Potter on his chest.

"Oh mother," he hummed out loud as he stared up at the frame, "What would you think, if you could see me now?"

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this update! Apologies for any spelling errors. Please read and review, it keeps me sane in these dull, long times of Lockdown. Hope you are all keeping safe and well. **

**Belle x**


	20. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**A/N: For the whining 'UK READER' who had the gall to get their knickers in a twist in a review; I am British. I live in London, England, and you would know ALL of this if you had bothered to read any of the rest of this story. Just because I mentioned ONE Americanism about S'Mores of all things, does not make me Non-British.**

**I have NEVER referred to a mobile phone as a CELL PHONE. I have NEVER called a pavement a SIDEWALK. I have NEVER used any other Americanism, other than writing for an American character, or when a story IS SET IN America. Not to mention, porridge is dull. Regardless of when this story is set, I am NOT going to agonise over making my characters eat a joyless bowl of MUSHY PORRIDGE every morning. If they want to experiment and have pancakes -not sure that's been written yet but even so -then they can damn well have pancakes.**

**This is a story about WIZARDS and MAGIC. I'm all for realism, and believe me I do my best to obtain it, but if my WIZARDS want to have PANCAKES they can damn well have them.**

**I do not appreciate being trashed on for making ONE Americansim in a story that has over 70,000 words. I know we're all in lockdown, but kindly get a grip and go troll someone else on the internet.**

**.**

**Also, I will like to point out that any ANONYMOUS trolls whining about me deleting reviews that have 'constructive criticism'; I'm all for it, as long as it IS constructive. You having a pissing parade because you don't like DRARRY is NOT constructive. Any and all flames that are anonymous will be deleted. If you want to review critically, grow some balls and log-in.**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen**

.

.

"Were you able to complete all the potions I set for you, Mr. Malfoy?" Slughorn asked as he waved his wand, sending the clean cauldrons off to one side of the room.

"Yes, Professor. I have the five samples." Setting his bag on one of the wooden desks, Draco carefully extracted the glass phials. He had labelled them all and had asked Remus to cast a few charms on them so that they couldn't be tampered with. He carried them over to Slughorn's desk and set them down, his palms feeling a little clammy.

He had done his best to do as much research as possible and create the five potions that Slughorn had asked for. He knew he had brewed them correctly and followed the instructions to the letter. It wasn't that the potion's had been too hard -Draught of the Living Dead, a Calming Draught, Skele-Gro, Pepper-Up and a Volubilis Potion -however, Draco couldn't help but wonder of Hogwart's was running out of the basic necessities in the hospital wing.

Holding each glass phial up to the light, Slughorn peered at them closely. Not that it would tell him too much, other than if the colour was correct.

"They all look remarkable, dear boy. I shall have them tested and send an owl over to you with the grade. So far, I am impressed. I have students in seventh year who aren't able to brew this well."

"Thank you, sir."

"Have you turned your hand to anything else, other than what I assigned you?"

"One or two things, but they haven't finished brewing yet."

"You're welcome to send a sample to me," Slughorn offered, setting the phial down. "It can be considered extra-curricular work."

Draco furrowed his brow. "Why would you want to help me, Professor? After last year I ..."

"You are a skilled potion-maker, Mr. Malfoy. Talent speaks for itself." He looked across the desk at the awkward blonde before him. "Have you any ideas of what you might want for a career once you graduate?"

Draco scoffed, "With all due respect, Professor, I will be surprised if I graduate. That will be the high point of my life, thus far. I don't plan on getting a job, or making any noise for the world to focus on."

"Mr. Malfoy I know the wounds of the war are still raw for some people -"

"For everyone, sir. No one is about to take a chance on a Death Eater."

"You _were_ cleared of all charges."

"And even that didn't stop you from not wanting me in your class."

They stared at one another. Slughorn didn't look guilty, exactly, but he didn't try to argue the point either. Eventually he sighed and nodded. "If you change your mind, Mr. Malfoy, I may be able to put in a good word for you for an apprenticeship."

As much as Draco wanted to demand more information, to sink his teeth into the breadcrumb of salvation and hold on, he didn't. He took a deep breath, inclined his head and said, "It won't happen, but thank you."

Slughorn hummed. "I shall see you next Friday."

"Yes, sir. Have a good week." Exiting the dungeon, Draco saw Auror Buxley a few feet away. "That was the last one," he said as he came level with the cloaked figure. His bag was definitely lighter now, even with the charms Sirius had put on it for him.

"Do you need to collect anything else before Monday?" Buxley asked.

Draco shook his head.

They made their way to the DADA office. It was Remus' week working. Buxley knocked on the door. Upon entering, he exchanged pleasantries with Remus and then used the floo to return to the Ministry of Magic. As soon as the green fire settled back into red embers, Draco collapsed into the chair across from Remus. "I had being dragged here every week."

"It could be a lot worse," Remus chuckled. "How are your professor's?"

"They seem to be liking my work so far, a few minor points to refine or improve on, and Slughorn tried to offer me help in finding a career after graduation."

Remus quelled his initial reaction, and leaned back in his chair. "I'm assuming this doesn't appeal to you, though I can't imagine wanting to turn done a chance at a normal life."

"It won't be though, will it? Even if I get this one chance, no one else is going to want to bother with me because of this wretched mark on my arm," he sneered the last few works, his nails digging into said covered mark. "It haunts everything I do."

"Welcome to my life, Draco," Remus gave a dry chuckle. "I've lived with my own curse since I was seven. I want to tell you that it gets easier, and in some cases it does. It definitely helps if you have friends in places where you might be able to get a decent job, but then that doesn't guarantee the people you'll work with will give you an easy time either."

"I know."

"Life will come and go with it's trials, Draco. You just need to find a way to weather through them." They sat in silence for a little while before Remus stood up and clapped him on the shoulder. "Do you want to go down to the kitchens for lunch? I'm starved, but I am not in the mood to deal with students today."

"Don't you have another two classes today?"

"Don't remind me," the man gave a defeated smile and shook his head. "It'll be over soon enough."

.

Sprawled out on his bed, Draco was flipping through some books hoping that there were some ways to get rid of or hide the remnants of his Dark Mark that didn't need continued application or a lot of time dedicated to it. Other than glamours and potions it looked as though there wasn't any more permanent solutions to it. He couldn't help but think that, even with his name and face plastered all over the Prophet for weeks, without the Mark on his arm, he might have a slightly better chance at a future career. Or any type of future, really.

It was a stupid idea to try and hide it, but he needed to start taking a little more control of his future, and that meant starting small and building up towards allowing Slughorn to help him. That meant, trying to find a better solution to concealing his Dark Mark.

Hours of researching it, however, were making him feel a little anxious. Cursed marks were often declared cursed for a reason; there was no getting rid of them. However, it was fading by the day, some parts were now only scabbed pieces of flesh as opposed to a black mark on white skin. He'd gone through several books with questions burning in his brain. Magic was able to do a lot of things, but not hide the mistakes that a terrified young boy had made?

What was he supposed to do then?

_Hermione_.

Hermione would know of something surely? People didn't call her the smartest witch of her age for no good reason -even if he did find the title a little big-headed. Shifting off his bed and to the small writing desk in the corner, Draco scribbled out a quick note and then made his way up a flight of stairs to the study where Archimedes snoozed on his perch. Once the note was tied to the owl's leg and it flew out of the window, Draco debated on loitering in the study, before deciding to go back to his own room. The owl would find him wherever he was.

Getting back to his book, he picked up where he'd left off in the text and was making some more detailed notes on a vanishing potion, when a tap came from his window. Reaching out to take the note from the owl's leg, Draco unrolled the parchment and frowned at the words.

.

'E_vening Draco,_

_Muggles have numerous methods for getting rid of, or hiding, marks on their body. Ask Remus about muggle tattoo's; I think the cursed magic will interfere with any magical variation._

_Good luck!_

_Hermione_'

.

Tattoo's, eh?

He would definitely have to ask Remus about that first chance he got at dinner time. Glancing at the clock on his desk, he sighed before heading down to the kitchen. Sirius was already there with Potter in his spot at the table, and Teddy in his baby-carrier. Sirius was reading through a muggle cookbook, his brow furrowed in concentration. At the sound of Draco's footsteps he looked up and smiled.

"Hey kid, you wanna help your old man do some cooking?"

"My old man?" he frowned, stepping down into the kitchen.

"Muggle phrase. Want to help cook?"

"Uh sure. What did you have in mind?"

"Shepherds pie. I already have all the mince ready, I just need help with the rest."

Draco rolled his sleeves up, not bothering to protest, and followed Sirius' directions in what needed to be chopped up and where to put it. As they worked, Potter happily colouring at the kitchen table, Draco turned to his cousin with the question that had been burning in his brain for the last forty minutes. "Sirius, what are muggle tattoo's like?"

The knife nearly slipped out of Sirius' hand. He turned a surprised expression to Draco, "Why do you want to know? Thinking of getting a little ink?"

Draco frowned even more. "No ... tattoo's, I want to know about them."

"Why the sudden interest?"

"Hermione mentioned that's what muggles use to cover scars or other things they want covered up ..." he trailed off.

"And you think this is going to help cover your Dark Mark?" Sirius finished for him.

His cheeks heated up. "Yeah ... Do you think it would work?"

"I don't see the harm in finding out," Sirius shrugged, returning to chopping some onions. "If you do decide to get tattooed, however, I'm warning you now it's going to hurt like a bitch."

"I lived with Voldemort in my house for over a year ... I think I can take it."

Sirius cast a look at the smug teen. He transfigured an onion peel into a needle, reached out and jabbed Draco's arm.

"HOLY FUCKING MERLIN WHAT THE HELL SIRIUS?!"

"Still think you can handle a tattoo? They etch it into your skin with needles, and it can last for hours."

Rubbing his arm, Draco glared up at his cousin wheedling the needle. "Alright, fucking hell! Muggles have painful shit too, I get it!"

"Daddy! Draco said a bad word!"

Sirius chuckled, "Yes he did, pup, and he's been told off for it."

Draco scowled at his cousin. "Fuck you," he hissed under his breath, resuming what was left of the chopping.

"Remember Draco, Harry may not be able to hear you ... but I can." The grin he shot Draco's way made the blonde's stomach drop. Taking the knife from his cousin, Sirius gestured to the table. "Why don't you set up? Remus should be home within the hour."

Pulling a disgruntled face, Draco dug out the cutlery from the drawer nearest the sink, grabbed some kitchen roll and started setting the table for the four of them. Potter took the napkin from him and gleefully folded them into triangles, but Draco refused to smile at the kids shit-eating grin. He refused! Once done, he was torn between returning to his room and sitting in silence.

"Draco, can you help me colour?" Potter asked.

He quirked an eyebrow. "Colour?"

"Yeah I drew you on a broom, but I need help to colour it in."

Draco scowled at the grin Sirius shot him over his shoulder, before he settled into the chair adjacent to Potter and reached for the green crayon. It wasn't half bad of a picture, all things considered. Of course his head wasn't that round, nor his hair that yellow, but for a kids drawing it was decent. Adjusting the drawing between them, he started to colour the boxy body in green.

"Why are you wearing green?" Potter asked.

"Because I was in Slytherin house," Draco explained. "Our Quidditch uniform was green and silver."

"Oh. It looks like fun! I can't wait to play Quidditch!"

"Maybe when you're a _bit_ older," Draco teased.

"What colour should I wear though?"

"Well ... How about red and gold?"

Potter paused in thought. "But if I wear red and gold ... that means we're not on the same team."

"Right ..."

"Don't you want to be on my team?"

"You can be on whatever team you like," Draco deflected. "Any colour you want."

"Okay! Look, I drew me too!" he reached for another doodle, this time the person had big green eyes and black scribbly hair.

"Oh that ... uh ... looks a lot like you."

Sirius snorted from the other side of the kitchen. His back was to them as he started washing the pots and pans. Draco scowled at his cousins back. Potter had started to colour the picture of himself in ... green.

"You want to wear green too?" Draco asked.

"Yeah! This way we are on the same team!"

Draco didn't have the heart to argue. He continued to help colour the drawings in until he heard the distant sound of the floo roaring to life from across the hall. After about five minutes, Remus stepped down into the kitchen, looking a little disheveled.

"Thank Merlin you have dinner cooking, I am too worn out to even think right now," he groaned sinking into the nearest chair and dropping his head into his hand.

"Hello to you too, dear," Sirius cocked his head to one side, his teasing tone almost covering the affection look on his face. "Butterbeer?"

"Please."

"We have butterbeer?" Draco perked up. "I haven't had that for months!"

"Good thing I stocked up then," Sirius grinned. He placed a butterbeer in front of their three chairs, and a pumpkin juice for Potter. "Dinner will be ready in about five minutes."

Remus nodded, his attention focusing on his son. The baby's hair flashed bright blue as he grizzled at his dad for attention. "You missed me, hm? Aw I missed you too, you little trouble-maker." He tickled Teddy's little feet, making the baby squeal with delight and bang his rattle on the edge of his carrier. "So what did I miss this afternoon?"

"Nothing much, except that Draco wants to get a tattoo."

"A tattoo?"

"A _muggle_ tattoo."

"Oh," Remus pulled a face. "Those hurt a lot, even with the numbing cream."

Draco rolled his eyes, continuing to colour so that he had something to focus on. "It was just something I was looking into to ... to cover my Mark."

"Huh. Would that even work on cursed flesh?" Remus pondered out loud. "Your Mark has faded hasn't it?"

"It's fading, yes. Scabbing over as well."

"In that case, I'm almost positive a muggle tattoo wouldn't interfere with it. It will hurt though, and takes a while to heal properly."

"I could brew a salve to help heal it quicker," Draco argued, even though this was all happening quickly. He needed to do a lot more research on the matter. He'd be marking his skin for life, he'd already made that mistake once before. His stomach clenched tightly at the memory. "I still don't know enough about it all, yet."

"I do know a guy who does muggle tattoo's," Sirius said. "I got majority of mine done from him. He doesn't work too far from St. Mungo's. We could pop in there on the way back from Harry's eye appointment."

Draco saw Potter's little face scrunch up in distaste but he didn't argue the matter.

"Uh ... yeah I can come along if it's not a bother?"

"Don't be silly, it's a minor detour at best."

"Are you sure you should be taking Harry into that sort of environment?" Remus frowned. "I'll come with you guys, then I can take Harry somewhere else while you two go and harass innocent muggles."

Sirius laughed. "And on that cheery note, dinner is served!"

.

The following Monday saw the make-shift little family making their way through the labyrinth of corridors of St. Mungo's. The sterile white and green walls made Draco's insides contract, and the sharp stench of disinfectant seemed to be rubbing Remus up the wrong way; the man kept rubbing at his eyes and nose and even sneezed as they went up in the lifts.

"It's as bad as allergies and twice as potent," he'd grumbled, more to himself, but Sirius still rested a soothing hand on his companions shoulder, kneading gently at the taut muscles.

"We'll park you by the window," Sirius teased quietly.

Remus huffed and made to adjust Teddy before frowning. He'd taken his son to Andromeda's for the day, and the absence of the child weighing on his chest was like a phantom limb. He shook the thought aside as the lift announced that they'd arrived.

Draco followed the two men and Potter into the office they'd gone into last time. As he passed other medi-witches and Healers long the corridor, he kept his head down and his eyes on the floor. He may be wearing his nicest muggle clothes for when he went to the tattoo parlour later, but his shock of white-blonde hair was an indistinguishable Malfoy trait. If he truly wanted to go unnoticed, he'd have to change the colour of his hair.

Healer Rodrik closed the door behind them and smiled as he settled down behind the desk. "So, we're going to get our first pair of glasses today, aren't we?" he beamed down at Potter, who in turn shifted awkwardly in his chair. His legs dangled high off the floor and his green eyes didn't want to focus on anything for longer than a second. "Has there been any trouble since our last appointment?" Rodrik asked the elders.

"No, he's been fine," Remus replied.

"No bumping into things?"

"He's complained of a few headaches, but nothing so bad as to require potions," Sirius informed.

"Good, excellent. Now I have the lenses ready, we just need little Harry to choose what frames he'd like to have."

"Do you hear that Harry?" Sirius gently nudged Potter's hands that were in his lap. He didn't seem to be listening. "You get to choose whatever glasses you like."

Green eyes finally looked up. "What if ... hmm."

"What if what, love?"

"What if ... people think my glasses are silly?"

"Then we'll just have to set Remmy on them, won't we?" Sirius grinned. Potter gave a sheepish smile back.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed. "Don't threaten imaginary people with violence."

"I wasn't threatening them with violence," Sirius replied evenly. "You can give quite a tongue-thrashing when you're displeased."

Remus scowled, but chose not to reply anymore.

"Would you like to choose what type of glasses you want, Harry?" Rodrik probed gently. Potter nodded. With a flick of his wand, at least twenty different style of childrens glasses appeared in the air, just at eye-level with Potter.

It took him all of three minutes to choose a pair of navy blue 'square' glasses with tiny silver stars along the arms.

"Good choice. They're my favourite too," Rodrik winked at Potter, making the kid beam. With a few intricate incantations, the new lenses were fitted into the glasses. "All done. It may take him a little while to adjust to these, but overall see how he goes over the next few months with them and then we can re-test his eyesight when he's older."

"What age roughly?" Remus asked.

"Let's say ... eight, then we can see if he needs a stronger prescription."

With the new glasses in hand, and the promise to report an abnormalities to Healer Rodrik, the foursome said their goodbyes and were soon out on the streets of Muggle London.

The cold air was brutal and made Draco burrow his chin deeper into the plush warmth of his coat. His hands were deep in his pockets, and he was already tense and eager to get inside somewhere warm. Sirius handed Remus the glasses and wound his scarf around his neck before glancing around. "Right," he said, "Who's doing what?"

"I think it's too cold to go anywhere else," Remus said. "I think I should take Harry to Andromeda's. It's far too cold for him out here."

"Are you sure?" Sirius frowned. "Draco and I won't be long."

"Honestly, it's fine. We'll get nice and warm, won't we Harry?" The kid nodded, huddling closer to Sirius for warmth. "Besides, this way you don't need to rush anything and Draco can get as much information as he likes."

"Well ... if you're sure," the man frowned, clearly displeased that Remus was so eager to hurry away.

Remus looked at Sirius for a moment; the man really was like a dog sometimes, displeased whenever his owner had to nip outside without him for a few moments. "Floo us when you're home, and we'll come straight over."

"Okay," he sighed.

"Come on, Harry, let's go and see Andromeda and Teddy," Remus held out his hand and Potter quickly latched onto it, waving over his shoulder as Remus took him down the street to the nearest apparition point.

Draco and Sirius watched them go, the faint 'pop' indicating that they were alone. Sirius shook himself back to reality after a few moments and cleared his throat. "Right, the guy I know is down this way. It's about a fifteen minute walk."

"Can't we just apparate there?" Draco asked, hunching his shoulders around his ears.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow and sighed, "So lazy." He nudged Draco towards the mouth of an alleyway further down the road and held out his arm. Draco grabbed on tightly and felt the sickening tug on his navel as they apparated to a small, dark shop set into the side of the wall. It had a large white size above the shop front declaring 'TATTOOOOOOOOOOOOZE!' Draco barely had time to take it all in before Sirius was dragging him towards the door. The interior was as dark as the exterior; with tons of drawings adorning the walls, some in colour and some in black-and-white. There was a desk with no one behind it, and a corridor that led deeper into the shop. A faint, metallic buzzing could be heard from behind one of the closed doors.

"Should we ... er ... call someone?" Draco asked.

"They're all busy," Sirius said. "We'll have to wait until they finish up with their customers. Come on." He led Draco over to the few comfortable chairs by a coffee table.

It took about twenty minutes before there was movement.

"Alright, make sure you clean and change the dressings every eight hours okay?" a tall muscles man with a white beard and dark eyes clapped the back of a scrawny man no older than Draco, by the looks of things. Said scrawny man handed over a few muggles notes and then waved goodbye over his shoulder as he left the shop, shrugging into a puffy jacket as he ducked out the door.

Turning to them, the man's face split into a grin. "Sirius!"

"Hey Melvin!"

The two men hugged briefly, before the dark eyes landed on Draco, who had stood awkwardly. "Who's this then? He's too blonde to be one of yours."

"This is my cousin, Draco," Sirius beamed. "Draco, this is an old friend of mine, Melvin."

"Call me 'Vinny', everyone does. Well, except Sirius." He laughed, his voice was gruff and deep. "So what brings you to my neck of the woods?"

"Draco here was interested about tattoo's and wanted to get more information about them."

"Well, what do you wanna know, kid?"

Draco bristled a little at being called a 'kid' but didn't push the point. "I ... was wondering how they're applied and ... um ... the quality of them, I guess?"

"Well all you have to do is look at your cousin to see some of my early work."

Draco frowned, turning to Sirius. "YOU have tattoos?"

"Why is that the big surprise about me?" Sirius frowned. "Did you really think I didn't have any? Not to mention, did you really think I got them in _AZKABAN_?"

"I ... No, I suppose you wouldn't have."

Vinny walked over to the desk and crouched down. The sound of papers rustling was heard, before he emerged with a thick folder. He handed it over to Draco. "This is my most recent artwork, you can see a lot of different styles -I like to experiment -although I can generally adapt to whatever is required of me. Have you thought about what you would want?"

"I ... no, this is all a recent idea."

"How recent?"

"A day or two?"

"Wow, you are bold," Vinny laughed in a very similar manner to Sirius. "I appreciate you bringing the kid to me, Sirius. I'm honoured!"

"You've not done anything, yet!"

"Yet!"

As the two men joked back and forth, Draco flipped through the heavy folder in his hands. There were so many choices, from intricate vines, to flaming skulls, names in elegant script, and roses in various stages. What would he get? This was something that would be permanent, something he would have to live with for the rest of his life. What was he willing to commit to?

"So, any thoughts on what you'd want to get?" Vinny's gruff voice made Draco jump a little.

"I -I'm not entirely sure. These are splendid, though."

Vinny grinned. "I'm glad you like 'em. Listen, you don't need to make any choices right now. This is a huge deal, so only come back when you're one hundred percent sure you know what you want."

"O-kay. Thank you."

"No worries, kid. Sirius, I'll be seeing you, yeah?"

"Of course. Might even have another tattoo myself," he winked as he nudged Draco towards the door.

Back out in the frigid air, Sirius and Draco ducked their heads as they marched along the street to the nearest apparition point. "So ..." Draco huffed. "You have tattoos?"

"Several."

"Where?"

"Arms, chest, some on my back too. All muggle tattoos. So far at least."

"When did you get them done?"

"Before I was sent to Azkaban. Got a little addicted."

"Does it hurt?"

"Of course. You're essentially getting stabbed thousands of times," Sirius grunted. "It'll never not hurt."

Draco nodded his head, his face already turning numb from the cold. Around the next corner, they stepped sideways into an alley. He automatically reached out and took hold of Sirius' arm before feeling the all-familiar sickening tug on his navel.

With a soft 'pop' they were gone.

.

Today was a 'dessert' day and the make-shift family were enjoying large portions of ice cream at the kitchen table. Draco really did miss magic, especially as it allowed the muggle fridge to take almost six times what it should have been able to. Not that he was complaining. Butterscotch ice cream was quickly becoming his new favourite. He was listening to the latest antics of Sirius and Remus' students, mostly the third years who thought they were smart enough to outwit a teacher. Sirius was getting almost as bad a reputation as Mad-Eye Moody.

"Sirius, I don't think you can actually use that as a threat anymore, seeing as you were cleared of all charges," Draco stated with a smirk.

"Hardly any of these kids do any of the recommended reading for class, let along extra stuff on the side," Sirius huffed. "As far as they know I'm the big, scary, madman who went to prison for killing twelve people."

"You still can't use it as a threat!" Draco laughed.

"I think the one that amused me the most, was when he actually said he was good friends with the Dementor that used to guard him," Remus stated, adding more chocolate sauce to his ice cream.

Draco turned to his cousin with wide eyes. "You didn't? Did they _actually_ believe you?"

Sirius let out a groan, "They're just so dumb! They're thirteen! I don't remember being that stupid at thirteen!"

"I do," Remus smirked.

"Cruel, Moony, so cruel."

"Daddy," Potter chimed up, "Why doesn't Teddy grow up like me?"

Sirius' eyebrows shot up into his hairline. Draco watched warily as Remus stroked his hand over Potter's hair. "You're special, Harry. Do you remember, we said that you are really the same age as Draco? But you had an accident."

"Oh ... I think so." He tapped his spoon gently against his plate. "So, I'm old like Draco in real life?"

"Yes, love, you are," Sirius smiled gently. "We're taking care of you until you're all grown-up again."

The little face scrunched up. "I don't want to grow up," he grumbled.

"Why not?"

"If I grow up, I won't be allowed to call you Daddy anymore and I really don't want to stop calling you Daddy."

Draco knew that, if he thought he had any form of a heart, it would have crumbled just a little bit inside him.

"Harry, love, you can call Remus and I anything you like," Sirius placated. He took Potter's small hand in his own and pressed a kiss to the small fingers. The air sparked a little. "You don't have to stop calling me 'daddy' just because you grow up."

"But if I stay young, you can be my Daddy forever!" Potter beamed, as though it was the most brilliant idea in the world.

The silence hung heavily over their heads.

"Harry, love, you can't be a little boy forever. You know that."

"Why not?" he pouted. "Peter Pan gets to be young forever! But he doesn't have a family, and I have you! So it's even better."

"Love, it's not safe for you to stay young forever. If you do, you won't get to have fun with your friends."

"We can play together."

Draco bit his lip, catching Remus' eye across the table. What was he to do? Remus gave a small shake of his head. Don't get involved.

"Harry," Sirius' voice was deeper now, firmer. "You are going to age as you always have. I will still be here for you."

"When I'm old again, you won't want to be my daddy anymore!" the child shouted, his cheeks red and his eyes shining.

From behind him, Draco could hear the plates and glasses starting to rattle and clink in their cabinets. He tenses, readying himself to duck under the table in case the glass windows of the cabinets shatter across the kitchen.

Sirius kept his voice level. "Harry, we've talked about this. Your tantrums won't change my mind."

"Why don't you love me?! You're meant to be my daddy, why don't you want to be mine?!"

"I am being yours, Harry."

"No you're not!"

More rattling. The woodwork in the kitchen seemed to creak and groan. Even the table seemed to quake.

"Harry that is enough! I am your father whether you like it or not and you'll do as I say!"

Potter let out a shriek, whether it was fear or his temper, Draco couldn't say.

He had just enough time to duck under the table as the glasses in the cabinet started popping, glass splintering everywhere. The tiles on the floor started to fracture and soot streamed down the chimney.

"Sirius!" Remus reached over to his friend, "You have to calm him down! He's going to get ill!"

Sirius pressed his lips into a thin line. Magic rushed around the room like hot air, sending dust and debris scraping against everyone's faces. Potter didn't seem to notice.

Kneeling down so that he was eye-level with the screaming child, Sirius placed his hands as calmly as he could on Potter's shoulders and leaned their foreheads together. The magic that oozed from Sirius' being was like a soothing balm, it seemed to spread slowly, thickly, touching out against Potter so that it calmed the tempest of his wayward magic.

"Harry, I need you to listen to me!"

The screaming stifled down almost instantly into choked, silent tears. Somehow this was worse to watch.

"I will always be your Daddy, Harry. I need you to know that okay?"

Potter hiccoughed, trembling, tears and snot rubbing down his ruddy face.

"I will be your Daddy for as long as you want me to be!"

"Even -even -if -I -want -you -forever?"

Sirius smiled and gave a jerking nod, "Of course, love. Until you tell me no, I will always be your Daddy."

Draco braced himself against the table leg, peering over to wear Potter seemed to deflate, the magic drained almost completely of his little body. He collapsed forward, satisfied, into Sirius' arms. The man wrapped the child in his arms tightly, burying his face into the mop of black hair and ... was that a tear? Clearing his throat, Sirius gathered Potter in his arms and made for the door. Remus stopped him before he climbed the steps to the hall and murmured a few words. Sirius nodded, his face wet and his hair disheveled, as he turned and carried Potter upstairs.

Straightening up from his hiding place, Draco brushed debris from himself and turned his eye to the mess in the kitchen. "Merlin ... it's going to take a lot to clean this up?"

"It shouldn't take long," Remus muttered warily. "I'll deal with the broken glass, can you sweep out all that soot from the fireplace?"

"S-sure," Draco said. "Don't you want to ask Kreacher to help?"

"I suppose we can if we must," Remus shrugged. "The elf is old, Draco. And frankly, house-elf or not, but I'm not convinced that anything that dresses in dirty pillowcases has any right to clean anything."

Draco wanted to protest, saying that the garb was what all house-elves wore, as giving them any form of uniform would free them from service. That Dobby had kept his bedchamber spotless at the manor, even when his hands were covered with plasters from ironing his hands. However, he didn't have the heart to argue, not tonight. So instead, he picked up the broom and dustpan from the corner, and started sweeping the grate on the promise that Remus would banish any dirt from his person before they went up to bed.

That night he barely slept, the episode of Potter's accidental magic hitting a little too close to home.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this update! Apologies for any spelling errors. Please read and review, it keeps me sane in these dull, long times of Lockdown. Hope you are all keeping safe and well.**

**1\. Volubilis Potion - is a potion that alters the drinker's voice and can also be used to return someone's voice, ending the effects of a Silencing Charm.**

**Belle x**


	21. Chapter 20: December

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty**

.

_**~December~**_

.

.

December came down hard with a brittle wall of cold that shocked Draco awake one morning. He hadn't been expecting it, the way his skin had prickled as a draught skirted around his ankles. He'd been having trouble sleeping since the last full moon, which was only a few nights ago. He hadn't managed to complete the Wolfsbane potion in time, however Remus assured him that the following full moon was as good a time as any to test it. Even Slughorn had said that the vial he'd produced last Friday was a worthy attempt.

It was on one of these cold lonely mornings, in the quiet hours before the rest of the house woke up, that Draco would sit on his window seat and look down on the muggle street below and sigh. His breath fogged against the glass and the cold seemed to seep inside him, making him feel empty.

He missed his mother.

December was one of the months she'd loved best; from the sixth of December the Manor would be decked out with the most elaborate decorations for the Christmas season. There had been times where he'd abhorred the displays, however now he wished for nothing else.

His mother had always loved a party.

He didn't know what sort of celebrations Sirius and Remus tended to have. Of course both men had anticipated entirely different things; Remus had expected to live in a quaint little house with his wife and new-born son, whereas Sirius and Potter were probably glad just to kick back by the fire, drinks in hand, and joking about the good old days and toasting to those who had been lost.

Maybe they would even go to the Weasley's on Christmas Day just to have a change of scenery?

Would that still be the case?

Would he be invited to the Weasley's or would they come here? And what if they didn't invite him at all? Was he to spend his first Christmas Day since the war … alone?

Wrapping himself up in his dressing gown, he sat at his writing desk and dipped his quill into ink.

.

'_Dear Mother,_

_I hope you are well and that the auror's are not pestering you unjustly._

_I'd almost forgotten what month it was until the frost started to settle in. How is it December already? I seem to lose track of the days, even though I go to Hogwart's every Friday to hand in my assignments. Everyone says that, despite not being in class, I'm still tied for the top spot with Granger. Some things don't change, war or not._

_I'd been thinking about Christmas; I honestly don't know how I'm to cope without seeing you or father at the dinner table. I miss you both so much. I feel so lost in myself right now. Remus and Sirius are doing their best by me, and I appreciate all their efforts but … I feel like it just isn't enough._

_Am I being selfish?_

_I have another two more sessions with Dr. Lisa before Christmas, and it turns my stomach. She keeps wanting me to talk about the war and my part in it but I just … I can't._

_I'm sorry to unburden myself on you in a letter._

_How are things with you?_

_Your son,_

_Draco_.'

.

He'd had to stop writing there otherwise he'd have gotten even more emotional. He hurried to the study as quietly as possible and sent the letter off with Archimedes before he could change his mind.

It was far too early for anyone else to be awake, so he tiptoed down to the kitchen and was surprised to find Kreacher putting the dishes away into the cabinets. At the sight of him in the doorway, the house-elf turned and eyed the young wizard.

"Master Malfoy is up early today," he observed.

"Yes I am."

"Is Master Malfoy wanting to be fed?"

"I -I am hungry," he said lamely. "I can make something for myself, don't worry."

It was the first time he'd said such a thing to a house-elf. He hadn't even thought about it.

"Kreacher is making Master Malfoy some porridge with honey, brown sugar and cinnamon if this pleases him?"

"I …" How had the elf known that's how he liked his porridge? How had he known he even _liked_ porridge? "I … Yes, thank you Kreacher."

The elf bowed his head and began getting all the ingredients from the lower shelves, a few clicks of his fingers ensuring that barely any sound could be heard.

As Draco watched the elf stir the bubbling goo, he leaned his head in his hand and felt himself be taken back to one of the few times in his youth, when he'd woken up from a nightmare and tottered down to the Manor kitchens for something to settle his nerves. Dobby had been fairly new then and had happily taken Draco to a small chair where he was sat as Dobby made him porridge. It continued on a fairly regular basis, until his father had caught them.

He'd beaten both of them.

From that moment on Draco was more scared of being beaten by his father than he was of the monsters under his bed.

The bowl was placed before him, along with a steaming mug of black coffee with two sugars. He sipped it gratefully, shuddering as the warmth ran through him. "Thank you, Kreacher."

"Master is welcome. Kreacher must be going now. He is to be cleaning the third floor today."

Draco watched him disapparate with a snap of his fingers.

.

By the time everyone else came down for breakfast it was just gone 9 o'clock. Draco had finished his own breakfast and was reading through the Defence Against the Dark Arts textbook he'd left on the kitchen table the night before. Remus smelled the porridge and smiled tiredly, his shaggy hair sticking up in all directions as he settled Teddy in his highchair. He gave Draco a pat on the shoulder before dragging himself to the counter and making himself a bowl of porridge.

Teddy seemed happy enough munching away on a sliced banana.

He made Draco another cup of tea and levitated everything over to the table, making Teddy clap giddily at the floating objects.

"Thank you," Draco gave a wan smile, accepting the floating mug and taking a drink.

Archimedes arrived with no news from his mother, yet, although Draco didn't expect her to write straight away. There was, however, the _Daily Prophet_ and a letter addressed to him with the Ministry seal.

He gulped nervously, the letter trembling in his hands.

Remus noticed his expression and lowered his spoon. "What is it, Draco?"

"A letter from the Ministry," he murmured, his heart racing in his chest.

"Do you want me to open it?"

"Please!" He thrust the letter to Remus, his teeth clenched so hard he could hear the bone crunching.

Remus broke the seal and slipped the parchment out. His amber eyes flitted from one side to the other, his face giving nothing away as he read the letter twice over. Finally, he looked up at Draco, "Well, I can confirm that it's not bad news, if that makes you feel any better?"

Draco grimaced. "What _does_ it say?"

"They're just writing to confirm that your six-month review will be brought forward to this month, on the seventeenth."

The bottom fell out of his stomach. "Is -is that good, that they bring it forward?" he asked, not daring to breathe.

"I'm not really sure," the man admitted sheepishly. "Let's just try to stay positive, okay? It's not as though you've done anything bad, nor has anything untoward happened since that last, isolated incident at the school."

Draco ran his hands down his face and groaned. "I feel like this nightmare will never end."

Remus squeezed his shoulder, "It will. You've been doing so well with the tools you've been given. Slughorn has said that your potion work is out-standing for someone of your age."

Draco hunched his shoulder and looked down at the table. "Severus was never one to praise people for doing a good job. There was always something to improve, something new to learn."

"Severus was a perfectionist. He needed to be in control of every element in his life -now we know why."

Remus gave a sad, tight-lipped smile.

The door to the kitchen flew open.

"REMUS! DRACO! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED!" Potter stood proudly on the top step, holding a small, milky tooth aloft. "IT CAME OUT! MY FIRST TOOTH!"

Sirius appeared behind him, shaking his head fondly. "Pup, what have we said about yelling indoors?" he prodded the kid good-naturedly. "We use our …?"

"Indoor voices," Potter finished, still beaming. The gap of his front tooth was oddly discomforting.

"Good boy. Now how about some breakfast?"

"Okay!" Potter hopped into the chair beside Draco. "Can I have some cornflakes?"

"Of course, pup, cornflakes it is."

Draco tried not to look at the new hole in the front of Potter's face. He looked far too delighted at having lost a tooth as he waited for Sirius to bring him a bowl of cereal. His glasses were perched on his nose, meaning he didn't need to strain to focus on anything.

"So, Harry, are you going to put your tooth under your pillow tonight?" Remus grinned across the table.

"Why would I do that?"

"For the tooth-fairy of course!"

"Tooth fairy?" Draco frowned at the same time Potter yelled, "THE TOOTH FAIRY!"

"Pup!"

"Sorry Daddy," Potter settled back, sheepishly. His wide eyes homed in on Remus, "What does the tooth-fairy do?"

"If you leave your tooth under your pillow tonight while you sleep, the tooth fairy will come in and leave some money in exchange for your tooth."

"What sort of sick creature would do such a thing?" Draco asked, curling his lips in disgust. "Who would want all those teeth anyway? Eurgh, that's revolting!"

"It's a muggle custom," Remus said, a little too firmly. "When your kids put their lost teeth under their pillow, the next morning they would get some money. It sort of … takes the edge off them losing said tooth, which can also be painful. Although, clearly not for our Harry!"

"No, I was super brave, wasn't I, daddy?"

"Yes, you were pup," Sirius planted a kiss on Potter's head, placing the bowl of cornflakes in front of him. "Now eat up."

Sirius sat down with a plate of toast and black coffee. "So, what were you two getting all mushy about?" he asked pointedly.

"Draco got a letter from the Ministry."

"Oh," Sirius swallowed. "What did it say?"

"They're … uh … bringing my six-month review forward to the seventeenth. We were speculating on whether that's good or bad."

"It could be that they want to review things quicker to make the next six months more tolerable for you, fewer restrictions and that. It's not like you've gotten into any trouble, is it?"

"On the other hand, they may have made a snap decision and decide to implement it to make my life _worse_," Draco countered. The familiar numbness was starting to creep up inside him.

"You have to have some faith, Draco," Remus said.

Draco scoffed and returned his attention to his mug without seeing it. He could feel Remus and Sirius exchange a look over the table, but he didn't have the energy to analyse it. Instead, the conversation turned to what Potter was going to do with 'all the money he got from the tooth fairy.'

.

After dinner that evening, Potter marched around in his pyjamas declaring he was going to stay up all night long to see said tooth fairy! Unfortunately, he fell asleep not long after 8pm. Sirius chuckled to himself and carried the child upstairs to bed. Draco was just leaving his room when he saw the man heading into Potter's bedroom. Sliding along the wall, he peered around the door frame and watched as Sirius placed a single galleon under Potter's pillow before settling the child into his bed.

Stepping out into the hallway Sirius spotted Draco and held a finger to his lips as he pulled the door closed. "Are you okay?" he whispered, resting a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

Draco nodded, "I just fail to understand the purpose of a tooth fairy."

Sirius smiled. "Muggles like that sort of thing. It's their sort of magic."

"But of all things to imagine -the TOOTH fairy? That's like having a shoe fairy -pointless!"

Shaking his head, Sirius guided his cousin back towards the stairs. "I suppose no one bothered telling you about Santa Claus either?"

"Who's he?"

"He's a magic being with a who flies to every house on Christmas Eve delivering presents to all the girls and boys who have been well-behaved for the whole year."

"How does he get to every house? Does he apparate?"

"No, he uses a sleigh with flying reindeers."

Draco stopped halfway down the stairs. "What?!" he exclaimed, almost losing his footing as he spun around. "How can they possibly believe that?!"

"It's impossible, Draco, which is why they believe in it. A sense of whimsy to give Christmas an extra magical meaning."

Draco scanned the man's face for any sense of irony. There was none. He groaned and stepped down onto the floor and shuffled into the kitchen just as Remus was pouring some tea. He saw Draco come down, shoulders slumped, and took another mug off the shelf and filled it.

"Do I even want to know what's made you have a face like a sour lemon?"

"We were discussing Santa," Sirius smirked.

"Ah," Remus looked at his friend as he set the mugs on the table. "I don't know what you're smirking, Paddy, you and James were determined, all through till fifth year, that you two were going to capture Santa over Christmas break and make him give you all his presents."

Draco snorted. "Did he really?"

"Yes," Remus said drily. "After third year, I refused to spend Christmas with them."

"Speaking of Christmas …" Draco hedged, tracing patterns on the worn wood of the table. "…I know this is the first Christmas since the war and things are still settling but … uh … what are the plans for Christmas?"

Sirius sighed and raked a hand through his curls. "Well we have technically been invited to the Weasleys."

"And as you can see, Paddy is _extremely_ excited."

"Molly irritates me," Sirius growled. "Besides, I want to have a proper family Christmas here, with Harry."

"There's no reason why we can't do both," Remus said reasonably.

"They'd invite too many people and what would we say about Harry being a child? We can't risk people finding out."

"It's been nearly six months, Paddy, there are already articles asking where Harry Potter is travelling."

Draco thought back to the _Prophet_ from that morning. He never bothered reading those things, not since his father was imprisoned.

"How about a compromise? We go to the Weasley's for Christmas Eve and then have a nice quiet family day here, on Christmas Day?"

Sirius' eyes lit up. "That sounds perfect! We should invite Andromeda as well; I don't like the thought of her being all alone at this time of year. She's lost so much …"

Remus grimaced and nodded, "I know."

Draco glanced between the two and felt a lump forming in his throat. "Do you think …?" he trailed off, the idea already seeming too ludicrous to say out loud.

"What is it, Draco?" Remus asked.

"Would we be able to invite my mother? If the Ministry allows it for the day?" he asked in a rush, his heart drumming wildly in his chest.

"There's no harm in asking," Remus said. "Although I can't promise that they'd say yes."

"I still want to try. Mother would be happy to know that I'd at least tried to make her first Christmas since … well … a little more bearable. I can ask them on the seventeenth, surely?"

"Of course, you can."

"We will have to worn Andromeda about that being a possibility," Remus said matter-of-factly. "Those two weren't on speaking terms before the war and I dare say it didn't help matters."

Draco tapped his nail on the wood, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "I can ask Aunt Andromeda next time we spend the day there? Maybe it would be better if I asked her? She always yells at you two."

He downed the last of his tea as Sirius spluttered some obscenities and Remus chuckled to himself. He bade them goodnight and made his way back to his bedroom. As he lie in bed, the covers pulled up to his chin with a nice, cosy fire crackling merrily away in the grate, he allowed himself to relax in the fact that he was safe somewhere that wasn't Hogwarts. Christmas' at the manor had never really been joyful affairs; extravagant and ridiculous, sure, but the only family time he had throughout December was in the early hours of the morning on Christmas Day just before brunch, when the family would open their gifts. There would be no drinking tea in their pyjamas with bed-hair. Everyone had to be dressed immaculately, as uncomfortable as it had been.

Curling up onto his side, Draco was anxious for the seventeenth to arrive, come what may for himself, as all he wanted was to spend the day with his Mother at Christmas.

~0~

It had to be said that he was glad he only had to go into Hogwarts once a week; the sheer drop in temperature was enough to turn his bones to ice and, contrary to popular opinion, Draco despised being cold. He loved heat, summer usually being his favourite season when he was able to do magic and see his friends.

The days seemed to pass slowly.

Remus and Sirius still alternated their weeks and Hogwarts would send their students home on the twenty-first of December.

On this particular day, Draco was spending some time at his aunt's house with Potter, whilst Sirius was at Hogwarts and Remus was taking Teddy to the paediatrics ward at St. Mungo's for a check-up. He needed to gather his courage to ask his aunt about his mother attending on Christmas Day, but he felt short of breath and his hands wouldn't stop twitching.

He was grateful that his aunt was more preoccupied doing a puzzle with Potter to notice his tremors.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, he tried to take a sip of tea, but it tasted sour in his mouth. He set it down a little louder than necessary with a sigh, his leg starting to jiggle under the table. His insides were thrumming with the pent up energy and he felt nauseated.

A hand came down on his shoulder and he flew out of his seat.

He could feel himself panting for air, his chest feeling tight and unable to sustain his breath, his heart was hammering wildly in his chest. He had to blink several times to dispel the momentary blindness.

_"Draco, dear, are you alright?"_

Andromeda's face swam into view, her square jaw and large round eyes giving him a momentary glimpse of Aunt Bella. He yelped and backed away, colliding with the sharp edge of the mantlepiece.

"_Harry, why don't you go play upstairs for a little while okay?_"

"_Is Draco okay?_"

"_He's a little unwell sweetheart, but I'll put him to rights. Off with you now. I'll call you down for dinner_."

Light footsteps petered away up the stairs.

He was being led somewhere, not very far he thought, before he was nudged downward. His body melted onto plus cushions and he was dimly aware of the floral wallpaper in the living-room. He was still taking short, shallow breaths, his vision was blurred, and his head was swimming -until something cool and damp pressed against his forehead.

He sucked in a long, sharp breath, convulsed, and choked on the air.

A weight settled beside him. He felt something cool pressed to his lips. He sipped at the water without really realising.

It took a full ten minutes for him to calm down and to be able to identify his aunt perched on the edge of the sofa beside him, her face frowning down at him. Licking his lips, he tried to speak, to thank her, but she shushed him and shook her head slowly.

"You had a panic attack," Andromeda stated in a soft voice, holding the glass of water in her lap in case he needed another sip. "I don't know what triggered it; were you thinking about something that was causing you some anxiety?"

He gave a mute nod.

"What was it you were thinking about it? I'll try and help in any way I can."

"M-Mother …"

Andromeda's face got a little pinched. "Ah, yes. I imagine you're worried about your mother, dear, but if my memory serves me, she does enjoy France very much."

"N-not … without … magic …"

"No, perhaps not." Andromeda sighed and brushed a curl behind her ear. "What was it you were thinking in regard to your mother?"

"I just … didn't want her … spending Christmas a-alone."

"And what exactly did you plan on doing about that?"

Draco cleared his throat and tried to sit up a little straighter on the sofa. "I -I wanted to ask at the Ministry … if they'd allow her to come to Grimmauld p-place for Christmas."

"You know there's every chance they will say 'no', don't you?"

"I n-need to try."

"So, what made you panic?"

"I just …" He bowed his head, his hands still tremoring slightly in his lap. "I … want you to be there, too. For Christmas." He peered up through his blonde hair. He really should ask Remus if he could get it cut. "I -I know there's bad blood between you and my mother, but we f-fought through the w-war to end all this … squabbles."

"Like you and Harry?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You still don't call him 'Harry' even though I know he's begged you a hundred times over."

Draco furrowed his brow, "That's completely different."

"Is it?" Andromeda shot back. "Tell you what; I'll let you invite my sister to Christmas -I'm sure it'll be entertaining one way or another -and from now until Christmas is over, you have to call Harry by his name."

"That's a little childish, isn't it?"

"So, we understand one another," she grinned wickedly.

He glowered up at his aunt. There was no energy in him to argue, the panic attack seemed to have depleted any reserves he'd had left. Andromeda handed him the glass of water to sip, watched him for a few moments and when she was sure he wasn't about to drown himself in the glass, she excused herself to go and check on Po – er -Harry.

Sipping at his water, Draco tried not to pay attention to the noises from upstairs; he could hear Andromeda's heels clacking on the floorboards and he was used to the sound of Harry's feet, as disgruntled as the fact made him. There were calm, muffled voices -Harry's quieter voice -and then the pair of footsteps made their way down the staircase.

The door to the living room opened with a soft hush. Andromeda walking in holding Harry by the hand. The kid looked anxious, his bottle lip jutting out and his green eyes were wide and gleaming behind his glasses.

"Harry, Draco is still a little poorly, do you want to go and sit with him while I get some tea and cakes ready?"

Harry nodded mutely, tottering over to the sofa Draco was sat on. Draco watched as the kid hesitated before hoisting himself up onto the sofa. He shifted awkwardly beside Draco, his legs sticking out straight ahead with his hands in his lap. Andromeda waited in the doorway for a moment, observing before nodding her head in a satisfied manner and retreating down the hall to the kitchen.

"Draco?" Harry mumbled.

He sighed, "Yes, kid?"

"Are you poorly?"

"… Yeah."

"Would you like a cuddle?"

"Why would I want a cuddle?"

"When I'm poorly, Daddy or Remmy give me a cuddle and it helps me feel better."

Draco let the child's logic sink into his brain. On the one hand he was a grown-up, had been through a war and now wasn't able to do magic or see his mother. On the other hand…

"You know what kid? I'd really love a cuddle right now."

Harry seemed to leap into action, turning on the spot and hugging Draco tight around the middle. It was hard to reciprocate, at first, having been brought up balancing a book on his head, however as soon as that little head of messy black hair burrowed against his stomach, Draco felt the tears come. He clamped his jaw tight and squeezed his eyes shut as he looped an arm around Harry and hugged him close, pressing his face into the kid's black hair. If he squeezed too tight, Harry didn't complain -of course that was very in-keeping with his personality, even as a child.

For the rest of the afternoon at Andromeda's, Draco called Harry by his given name and was more than happy -and too exhausted -to shift the child out of his lap. He could tell his aunt was amused by their position, but Draco refused to rise to the bait as he kept one arm firmly around Harry's waist and sipped his tea with the other hand.

.

.

Later that evening, as soon as his assignments were done for the week, Draco went into the living room where Remus and Sirius were playing a muggle board game. Harry was curled up on Sirius' lap, his little stuffed owl clutched tightly to his chest. Remus puffed his cheeks indignantly as Sirius swept three green house things off the board.

"Back to the basics, Moony! I got you now!"

Remus shook his head, "I don't know why I ever both taking you on in these games."

Draco edged into the room, frowning bemusedly down at the board. "What is this game you two keep playing?"

"Monopoly."

"I'm assuming it's muggle."

Remus nodded, "And somehow, despite growing-up with the game, I _still_ lose to this over-grown child!"

Sirius feigned hurt. "Remus! How dare you call my little paddycake an over-grown child!"

Remus glowered at his friend. "You know I was talking about _you_, Sirius, _not_ Harry."

Draco had to fight a smile as he pulled the footstool over and sat down. "So, is the game nearly over, or can I join?"

If either of them was surprised he was asking to join in their muggle 'shenanigans', neither man mentioned it. "Of course," Sirius grinned. "I think Remus needs a do-over before his brain melts. Remmy, set up the board, love, and I'll go make everyone some hot chocolate!" He pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead and left him perched in the armchair before he whisked out of the room.

Draco bit his lip, the heat and stiffness settling around them like a lead curtain. Changing a glance over at Remus, he saw that the older man was frozen in place, his eyes staring hard through the table and his hands having stopped mid-shuffle with the game cards.

Clearing his throat, Remus continued to shuffle the cards.

"So … Sirius said -"

"I know."

Draco swallowed, knowing full well he was pushing his luck. "Are you not going to ack-?"

"No."

Another silence.

"Why not?"

Remus clenched his jaw. "It wouldn't be appropriate."

Draco wanted to ask what he meant; however Sirius chose that moment to stride in, a tray laden with piping hot mugs in his hands, and a wide grin on his face. He didn't detect the stifling atmosphere and by the time he sat back down, Remus had managed to force a tired-looking smile to his lips. Harry squirmed on Sirius' lap, trying to juggle his stuffed owl and his small cup of hot chocolate.

"Here, I'll hold Hootie for you, kid," Draco said, reaching out and taking the small owl from Harry's grip. Wide green eyes started to glimmer with tears, but Draco forced a smile. "Just until you finish your hot chocolate, and then she's all yours."

Harry reluctantly relinquished his hold on his treasured toy.

Once Draco was talked-through the rules of monopoly, he was fairly sure he knew exactly how the game was played, which was true when -by 10 o'clock -he'd won his first ever game. Sirius grumbled about 'beginners' luck' and drained his mug, leaving whipped cream sticking to his upper lip. Remus wasn't able to hide his smile, however catching Sirius' eye over Harry's head was enough for cold shame to pour through him.

Excusing himself, Remus gathered Harry up into his arms and bade the other two 'goodnight', Draco passing Hootie back to a dozing Harry as they went by.

"You're being nice to Harry," Sirius observed calmly as he packed the game away.

Draco fought against the lump in his throat. "What of it?"

"Nothing," Sirius shrugged, slotting the lid back over the box. He turned to Draco with a warm smile. "I'm just glad."

Draco didn't know how to respond to that, so he simply sipped at his drink until there was nothing left.

~0~

The seventeenth arrived far too quickly, after what felt like an eternity of waiting.

Draco was awake before everyone else and tried to wash and dress himself in as close to silence as he could manage without muffling charms. His hands trembled as he fixed an old tie around his throat, trying not to feel like he was preparing his own noose.

He was barely able to eat anything at breakfast. Sirius himself only managed eggs on toast and a mug of black coffee, before it was time for them to leave. They went through the floo, and Draco barely managed to swallow the bile that surged up his throat as he staggered through the grate and into the Ministry.

He felt a hush descent upon the bustling atmosphere as soon as he stood to his full height.

Hundreds of eyes were staring at them, their eyes sticking through him like pins. He felt the suppressed magic inside him bubble up, boiling him from the inside with no way out. He felt physically sick again, and was starting to perspire.

"Ignore them, Draco," Sirius voice rumbled in his ear, cutting through the white noise buzzing in his head.

He let himself be steered towards the lifts. Sirius didn't take his hand from Draco's shoulder until the lift clanged down before them and the doors rattled open. There were some shocked faces, possibly a sneer, from the people that vacated. Draco was urged forward, his feet and Sirius guiding him into the lift. He blindly reached up for a hang-strap and felt his heart lurch when the lift doors rattled shut and the lift skittered backwards before rushing upwards.

They made two trips to other floors before they were taken down to the courtrooms.

Sitting outside courtroom three, Draco was ramrod straight in his chair, his nerves wound so tight he was sure he could see sparks flying off his eyelashes. Sirius was trying to engage him in a calming conversation about not being too disheartened by what they had to say, and that they could deal with the worst if it came down to. Draco had kept his nose clean, barring the ambush incident. He couldn't get into any trouble even if he'd dared to try.

He was started to tremble again.

His vision was fading at the edges and his breath became laboured. He could feel a panic attack digging its claws into him.

Sirius reached over and took his hand between his own. The tremors continued, his heart still beat rapidly, but Sirius was here. Sirius was here holding his hand and keeping him grounded in this draughty corridor. It would be alright. Whatever shit they tried to throw at him, it wouldn't stick, it was baseless. If Sirius could make it through the last fifteen years and still have a decent outlook on life, then Draco needed to follow his example.

They were not going to beat him. Not today.

The door opened.

"Draco Malfoy, please come in."

Swallowing thickly, Draco forced himself to his feet and followed the narrow woman in horn-rimmed glasses into the courtroom, Sirius got on his heels. Sirius was told to sit in the rows of hard benches whereas Draco was escorted across the courtroom to sit before the magistrate and the Minister of Magic.

He settled into the hardback chair near the front of the room, his hands quaking in his lap.

"We call order this hearing on the Seventeenth of December at 10 o'clock. Presenting Kingsley Shacklebolt, Minister of Magic, and Arnold Ringwood, magistrate." A gavel came down, sending a shockwave through Draco's bones. "We are here to assess the current sentence of one Draco Lucius Malfoy."

Draco felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle.

"According to the reports I have received throughout the last few months, there was one red flag that appeared on the eleventh of September. Can you recount the events of that day, Mr. Malfoy?"

He tried to keep his voice calm as he spoke. "I -I had gone to Hogwarts to turn in my assignments to my professors. I was on my way to leave when a group of students ambushed me in the corridor."

"What happened?"

"I -I was out-numbered," as this a few people behind him scoffed. "A-and Prefects Granger and Weasley had to come to my aid."

"That's Miss Hermione Granger and Mister Ronald Weasley, is that correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"I see they both spoke on your behalf about the incident. Both stated you didn't not use any means by which to defend yourself, is this the case?"

"Yes, sir."

"So, you didn't hit at anyone or try to use your wand?"

"No, sir," Draco tried not to clench his teeth. "I didn't have my wand with me. It's useless. I didn't try to defend myself against a gang of students who were all armed with their wands."

The judge nodded, satisfied. "From what your professors have told me, you are excelling in your studies, despite not attending the physical lessons. How do you find it?"

"I may do well in the theory, sir, but the majority of our lessons now are wand-based. I may practise the movements, but that doesn't mean I've learned the spell."

"Professor Slughorn attests that you are doing well in the practical-side of potions."

"I -y-yes, sir."

"How can you accomplish this without a potions lab?"

"My guardian, Sirius Black, accumulated a small lab for me in the basement of our house. It suffices for my practical needs in brewing potions."

"Have there been any incidents outside of the house or Hogwarts that we need to know about?"

"Incidents?" Draco frowned. He'd had numerous panic attacks and anxiety attacks. As for incidents that required discipline, no, he'd kept his nose clean. "No, sir. No incidents."

The magistrate made a note of something, his quill scratching setting Draco's teeth on edge.

"Does anyone else have anything to report at this time?" he asked, his eyes scanning over the people scattered around on the benches.

No one spoke up. Draco didn't realise how anxious he'd been about that, until he let out a quiet sigh of relief.

"In that case, I am relinquishing the stasis charm on Draco Malfoy's wand."

There were some outraged shouts from the public attendees, but Draco simple sat there, numbed, the words not sinking into his brain.

The magistrate raised his voice, his voice booming through the room and drowning out the shouts. "You will be allowed to use spells allocated by your professors to learn for exams and the like. Basic charms and cleaning spells are also permitted, within reason. You will still be heavily monitored and an auror will assess your wand use once a week. If we are alerted to three consecutive high-risk spells or curses, you will be in breach of your sentence and will have to spend thirty days in Azkaban."

Draco swallowed thickly, his body over-heating.

"This is to help aid you in passing your final exams. If you have a specific request that breaches your prohibition, please inform an auror of your request and we will evaluate the necessity of it. It may be the case of having your request done at Hogwart's or here at the Ministry, as a measure of safety."

Kingsley stood up, his deep, rick voice vibrating through the air as he spoke. "I would also like to add, that due to Mr. Malfoy's recent behaviour, I would like to extend the perimeter of his house arrest to five miles within the vicinity of his residence, St. Mungo's and Hogwart's as long as he is accompanied by his court-appointed guardian, or an auror."

This statement did outrage some of the public.

Someone even tried to throw a hex at Draco's back. He only caught wind of it, because Kingsley himself, threw a shield charm up, causing the offensive spell to fizzle and crackle in the air around him.

"ORDER IN THE COURTROOM!" Ringwood boomed.

Silence descended, the pounding of the gavel making Draco feel sick.

"The sentencing you have heard carried out at ten thirty this morning is the ruling decision of myself and the present Minister of Magic. If anyone attempts to use offensive magic in my courtroom, they will be filed for contempt and be placed on house arrest of a fortnight." He turned his beady blue eyes to Draco, who shrank down in his chair. "Mister Malfoy, your sentence has been passed and you are free to go. Use this chance wisely and good luck with your final exams."

"Court dismissed!"

He slammed the gavel down.

Draco was reeling as he levered himself out of the stiff chair and made his way towards the side-door in a daze. His ears were still ringing with the words the magistrate had said. His ears were still ringing with the words the magistrate had said. Outside in the private hallway they'd waited in before court started, Draco found Sirius waiting for him, resting lazily against the wall. As soon as he saw Draco approach, he grinned and straightened up, meeting the blonde half-way and grabbing him in a hug.

"I told you not to worry, Draco. Look what happened! Something good finally came your way."

Draco nodded, limply hugging his cousin back. He still couldn't quite believe it. "It's just … surreal."

"I know it must seem a big strange right now," Sirius said, sobering up for a moment. "But just think of it this way; you have your wand back! You can study properly now and Remmy and I can help you practice."

"Isn't that dishonest?"

"Who gives a shit, Draco? You have your wand back!"

"Yeah," he allowed himself a small smile. "I have my wand back …"

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this update! Apologies for any spelling errors. Please read and review, it keeps me sane in these dull, long times of Lockdown. Hope you are all keeping safe and well.**

**Belle x**


	22. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**A special thank you to TealPup05 for the abundance of new reviews and to FanofBellaandEdward for proof-reading for me :D**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-One**

.

.

Sirius awoke with a jolt, the echoes of screams dying out as the grey light peeked in through the curtains. A chill ran down his spine. He shuddered, and pulled the duvet higher over his shoulders and chin. He didn't need to cast '_Tempus'_ to deduce that it was barely after 7 o'clock. With a sigh, he collapsed back onto his pillows, reaching out under the blankets for Remus. He felt the cool sheets but nothing else. Frowning, he sat up and squinted through the darkness. The other side of the bed was empty.

Kicking the covers aside, he summoned his robe and tied a clumsy knot at the waist before going downstairs. He tried to calm himself, to rationalise why Remus was awake so early, but the echoes in his mind seemed to swell and hiss in his ears.

All the rooms were empty as he padded along the hallway. The house creaked and groaned around him, making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up on end. The floorboards whined under his feet as he made his way to the door of the kitchen. There was a light shining from underneath.

Remus was sitting at the kitchen table, his head buried in his arms as Teddy grizzled in his highchair beside him.

Teddy didn't fuss when he gathered him up in his arms and rocked him gently back and forth. A soft snore came from Remus. He was deeply asleep. With his wand, Sirius levitated the lycan as smoothly as possible before he guided him back up the stairs. It took about fifteen minutes to settle Remus back under the covers without waking him.

It was Christmas holidays, so neither of them had any reason to be awake so early. Deactivating Remus' alarm, Sirius cuddled Teddy closer and left Remus to get some more sleep. As he made his way back downstairs, he couldn't help but feel a little guilty; it was rare that he heard Teddy fussing during the night. He desperately wanted to make it easier on his friend, however after his faux pas a few days ago, that wasn't going to be easy.

In the living room, he set-up a spongey playmat on the floor, settled Teddy on his back and cast a spell for the sensory toys to float in circles above him. His toothless grin and wide eyes as he batted for the dragon rattle was adorable.

.

It wasn't until a few hours later when Draco came down, bleary-eyed and rumpled, carrying Harry on his hip. Sirius raised his eyebrows in amusement as he went to flick through the TV channels.

"Well this is a new development," he grinned as he settled on a kid's show. He reclined back on the sofa. "Since when does Harry go into your room and wake you up?"

"Since you weren't in your bed, he decided to come and jump on me," Draco growled, plonking Harry on the opposite sofa and collapsing onto the cushions beside him. "Have the owls come yet?"

"I haven't checked," Sirius admitted. "Why?"

"I wrote to Mother the other day and she hasn't replied yet. I hope she agrees to coming here Christmas day," he pinched the bridge of his nose. His insides knotted up inside him; the last thing he wanted was to spend Christmas Day without his Mother.

"Has Kingsley approved it?"

"Yes, he sent me the owl yesterday. There will be a lock on the wards for the day, preventing her from leaving once she's here."

Sirius frowned. "As long as it doesn't effect anyone else, I'm sure we'll manage." Draco sat for a while in silence, trying to wake himself up a little more. "Do you want me to make you some coffee?"

"Yes please."

"Okay, mind the children."

"I know the drill."

Regardless of his trust in Draco, Sirius made quick work of fixing up two mugs of coffee and carrying them back into the lounge. He also carried a sippy cup of orange juice in his robe pocket for Harry. They settled down for a little while, just enjoying the silence and watching the bright characters on the TV. As it neared 11 o'clock, Sirius stoked a fire in the grate and lit the Christmas lights that hung up all around the room.

The atmosphere was calm and cosy.

Draco warmed his hands around his cup and cast a look at Sirius who seemed to be as enraptured as Harry in the strange cartoon the TV. "Have you spoken to Remus yet?" he asked, averting his eyes.

"About …?"

"About your little 'love' slip-up the other night?"

Sirius stared at him for a moment before dropping his head. "I knew that was going to bite me in the arse," he grunted, swiping a hand down his face. "Has Remus said anything?"

"No."

"No?"

"He doesn't want to talk about it," Draco shrugged. It wasn't exactly a lie.

"I guess I'll have to talk to him at some point about it," Sirius murmured to himself. His sharp grey eyes focused on Draco once again, before narrowing. "What about you, eh? I've not seen you prancing around with your wand yet."

Draco glowered. "So what? I'm still on probation. Auror's will probably show up as soon as I use a harmless _aguamenti_."

Sirius snorted. "That isn't the reason at all."

"Oh, cause you'd know?" Draco shot back heatedly.

"Naturally."

"Whatever."

Draco stroked his finger around the rim of his mug. "I just … I'm afraid to use it."

"Whatever for?"

"What if I can't do magic like I used to? What if my wand doesn't respond to me anymore?"

"Why wouldn't it?"

"Harry and I duelled. He won my wand off me … All through the final battle it … it didn't respond the way it should have. When I caught him in the Room of Requirement I …" he swallowed thickly, the hellish fire springing up between his eyelids and making his chest grow hot and tight. "I was afraid to cast any spells in case it went awry. Not that I wanted to!" he added hastily. "It was just that -I was afraid of using it at all!"

"So you're concerned that ownership of the wand belongs to Harry now, and not you?"

"Yes …" he breathed, his voice shaking. "It was why I gave him my wand … when we found out he wasn't dead. I knew it'd work perfectly for him." Draco dropped his head back and sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. "After the war, there were arrests, trials, my own trial and having our wands confiscated. We had them to pack a few things at the manor but … it felt off. Wrong."

"Could it be that you're just over-thinking this a little?"

"I don't know," Draco admitted sullenly. "Wand lore is a tricky enough subject."

"Maybe try some basics and see how things feel?" Sirius shrugged. "Who knows? Things must have improved since the war. Just maybe don't try as hard, hm?"

Draco offered a weak smile but didn't say anything else.

He could happily practise the wand movements, that wasn't an issue. But to actually try and cast any spells? The thought alone made him feel physically sick.

.

.

**_~Christmas Eve~_**

.

"Are you going to be okay looking after the boys, Andromeda?" Sirius frowned anxiously as Remus reluctantly handed over Teddy.

Andromeda rolled her eyes and tutted. "Sirius, of course I am! We'll have a nice calm evening, play some games and then once Edward is in bed, Draco and I can have some Ogdens by the fire."

Teddy fussed a little and Remus felt his heart clench.

Draco let Teddy wrap his chubby little fist around his forefinger and that seemed to calm the baby down. He gave his guardians a strained, reassuring smile. It was only for one evening. Besides, the Weasley's would fuss too much over Harry's current state.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take Harry as well?" Andromeda asked with a frown.

Sirius automatically stroked the thick black hair on the child hovering by his legs. "That's alright, Andromeda, Molly wants to grill me over my parenting style. I wouldn't want to subject anymore people to that," he gave a smile of thinly veiled contempt. "Besides, if I don't bring Harry she'll shriek like a banshee. It was either this or invite the entire Weasley family over for Christmas tomorrow."

"I don't think my head could take it," Andromeda said in a measured tone. Readjusting her grip on her grandson, she turned towards the fireplace. "Grab the floo for me, Draco dear. We'll see you tomorrow!" she called over her shoulder.

They flooed to Andromeda's house, leaving Sirius and Remus alone in the entrance with Harry.

Sirius sighed heavily, as though a huge weight were sitting on his chest. "I suppose we should get this over with."

Remus shot the older man with a sardonic smile. "You cannot drink the night away this time, Paddy. You have a child to consider."

"And I'm sure, when he's old enough, he'll appreciate the predicament I was in," Sirius replied drily.

"Shall we side-along?"

"Yes. I'm not risking landing face-first into the turkey."

Harry silently let both men take his hands before he felt a strange spinny feeling. They landed in a field, the air as cold as ice and a wind that cut through their coats. Harry huddled closer to Sirius. Said man bent down to scoop him up and then they were making their way up the pebbled path towards a rather lop-sided house.

Harry tilted his head from side-to-side trying to make out which way was up.

Remus had barely raised his hand to knock when the door swung open to reveal Molly Weasley.

"There you boys are!" she chided as if they were her children. "Get inside, quick, before you freeze!"

"She seems to have forgotten magic exists," Sirius murmured so that only Remus could hear.

"Shh!" Remus grinned, swatting Sirius' back as they ducked to enter the front door of the Burrow.

Setting Harry down, Sirius crouched down to take off his godson's coat before resting both hands on the kid's shoulders. "Now Harry, I just want you to know that things might get a little loud tonight. If they do, I want you to come to me or Remus and we can go home, okay?"

Harry worried his bottom lip. "What if I don't want to go home but it's still too loud?"

Remus smiled as he crouched down beside Sirius. "Then come to us anyway and we can take you somewhere quieter, okay?"

Harry nodded.

"And if anyone asks you any questions, you're allowed not to answer them, okay pup?"

Harry nodded again, smiling a little. "I don't mind if it's a little noisy. Can we go and eat now?"

Both men chuckled. "Soon, pup, dinner probably isn't read yet."

"DINNER'S READY!" came Molly's shrill voice through the kitchen.

Sirius dropped his head in resignation. "I guess I was wrong."

Remus chuckled again as he straightened up, his amber eyes scanning around the lower lever. Glowing lanterns hung from every exposed beam of the Burrow, candles and tea lights were lit on most flat surfaces, often accompanied with a gold glittery holder, the Christmas tree was a mish-mash of brightly coloured tinsel and sleigh bells and shiny stars seemed to hover throughout the air.

There was a small pile of brightly wrapped presents underneath the Christmas tree and Remus quickly unshrunk the presents that had been purchased weeks ago, before levitating them over to join the pile.

He drew in a deep breath and felt his heart clench. This should be his first Christmas with Dora and Teddy. Instead, he didn't even have Teddy at his side. Maybe he should just go to Andromeda's after-all? Sirius didn't need him here, did he?

Before they walked into the kitchen, Sirius stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay, Remmy?"

"Just a bit …" he trailed off.

Understanding flooded Sirius's grey eyes and damn everything! Why did he just _know_ how Remus was feeling? Was he that obvious?

"Do you want to go and see Teddy?"

"I just … I'm not sure I can …"

Sirius waited patiently, but Remus shook his head, unable to finish that train of thought. "Why don't we have something to eat and see how you feel, eh? Then, if you want, you can go to Andromeda's."

"I just feel like … I'm ruining everything."

"Don't be silly!" Sirius scoffed. "The only reason I even have the strength to face Christmas this year alone is because of you and the boys."

"Okay," Remus closed his eyes and drew in another deep breath. "Okay you're right. No use having Molly be mad at us for the rest of our lives. It'd be worse than when she's concerned with us."

Sirius hummed but didn't say anything.

They walked along the lower level until they were in the kitchen, the long dining table spread out with gaudy table clothes, brightly coloured napkins and numerous, heaving plates of food already sat proudly in the middle of it all. Shiny crackers sat on each plate. Slowly, family members arrived from all corners and started to take their seats. There was no real rhyme or reason to the seating arrangements.

"Sirius, Remus, you came!" Hermione smiled as she turned the corner. She squeezed past the tightly packed chairs and reached up to hug both of them. "I'm so glad you could make it." Her eyes dropped down to Harry. Sirius tensed, holding Harry's hand a little tighter. Hermione crouched down, still smiling and offered her hand to Harry. "Would you like to come and sit between me and Sirius, Harry? We can pull a Christmas cracker together?"

Harry glanced up at Sirius as though asking if that was okay. Sirius had no qualms with Hermione, so he smiled easily and nodded. "That would be lovely, Hermione, thank you. Harry, what do you say to Hermione?"

"Hullo Herminnie."

Hermione smiled and said, "It's a bit of a long name, isn't it? You can call me something else if you like?"

Harry tilted his head a little, his glasses slipping about on his nose. "Can I call you Minnie? I like Minnie Mouse, she's my favourite!"

"Can I tell you a secret?" Hermione whispered. "She's my favourite too!"

Sirius and Remus followed Hermione along one side of the table. Ron was already sitting down; he raised his hand to shake Remus and Sirius's before grinning down at Harry. "Hey there, mate, how are you?"

"I'm really starving!" Harry beamed.

"I know! Let's get some food, eh? My mum's a good cook."

Harry's face fell a little. "I don't have a mum that cooks. But Daddy cooks really well! I love his bangers and mash!"

Ron laughed. "Is that so? Well I hope you like my mums food as well. She makes the best dessert!"

"I don't think I've ever had dessert, have I daddy?" Harry turned to glance up at Sirius.

Lifting his godson up and into the chair beside Hermione, Sirius sat down and nodded. "Of course, you have, love. Dessert is what ice cream, cake, jelly and other sweeties are."

"Oh … I like desserts then," he turned his beam back to Ron who seemed unable to stop grinning.

Remus watched the interaction, fascinated, as he slipped into the seat beside Sirius, his chin propped on his hand. There was something easy about the way Harry was able to cope with everything at this age. He knew the child hadn't been this way with the Dursely's but if he was this at ease, this care-free and harry … maybe what he'd done to himself hadn't been a sudden surge of melancholy or a form of depression? Maybe he just wanted a better childhood to deal with his present predicament better?

It was still idiotic but … Remus felt as though he could understand what made Harry boil over to come to such a decision.

Ginny and George arrived last and took the remaining seats, opposite Remus and Sirius. Ginny's eyes fixed straight onto Harry and both men seemed to straighten at her sudden fascination. They knew things had been strained between the two in the months after the war. Harry had kept his distance, barely even going out of his way for any public appearances or to attend any of the trials. He hadn't been in any fit state with nightmares almost every night.

He'd even kept a distance from Ron and Hermione, but they were more understanding.

There was something about Ginny that reminded Remus too much of her mother, despite no one else thinking that. It was the strong-headedness, he'd decided a few months prior. She had will and determination and, while that was good, she also didn't like to be told 'no'.

George on the other hand looked like a husk; his skin was pale, making his freckles stand out like dust flecks across his skin, and his hair seemed to hang limply against his forehead. He sat down low with his shoulders hunched and his mouth clamped shut. He spared Harry a cursory glance and Remus was sure the corner of his mouth twitched.

It felt alien to see George without Fred.

It was as though George had died along with his twin, and someone was pulling the strings of this George-shaped puppet as a pale replacement for the actual thing.

It broke Remus's heart.

The strange atmosphere was shattered as Molly bustled into the dining room the roast chicken -there was already a roast turkey on the table, but she'd stated that whenever she cooked one or the other, someone would always complain. So, she cooked both.

The chatter didn't stop as people passed the food around and started loading their plates. Sirius asked Harry gently what he wanted to eat. The shy child pointed at a few dishes and was rewarded with a small helping on his plate. Sirius smoothed Harry's black hair down and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Christmas crackers were pulled, bad jokes were told, and over-sized tissue paper hats were plopped onto everyone's head. The laughter still felt somewhat forced, as though if everyone laughed loud enough, they could ignore the vacant space on George's other side, or the scars marring Bill's face.

Molly seemed good at distracting herself by never taking a breath. Ron murmured to Hermione that mum was trying too hard. If she stopped for a moment, she'd think about Fred, and then she'd burst into tears. Sirius saw how Molly's eyes darted to the empty chair at the end of the table and her eye shone with unshed tears, but she ploughed on. More specifically, she took to doting on Harry whenever she seemed able.

"Harry, dear, do you want any more Yorkshire pudding?" Molly asked.

Harry blushed and shook his head.

"Are you sure? You haven't eaten a lot."

"I'm saving room," Harry said.

"For what, dear?"

"For desserts!"

Molly chuckled. "There's plenty of time for dessert, Harry. You can't have any if you don't eat all your vegetables though."

"He's already had lots of carrots and peas," Sirius smiled. "He eats them first because he doesn't really like them."

"Then he can try and eat some more. That way you can grow big and strong," Molly continued, turning her attention back to Harry.

Harry kept his eyes on his plate, not wanting to be drawn into an argument. He obediently reached for the large serving spoon and dropped some more mixed veg onto his plate and started picking at it.

Sirius bristled. "I'll thank you not to force him to eat, Molly."

"You have to be firm with children, Sirius. None of mine turn down any food, and when my grandchildren come along, they'll learn to appreciate a good meal."

"Are Bill and Fleur expecting?" came the acidic reply.

"I meant when _any_ of my grandchildren come along," was Molly's tight response. "It'll be exactly the same for Ron and Ginny, too, when they have children."

"I didn't realise you were dating someone, Ginny," Remus chimed in, trying to take the pressure away from Sirius.

Ginny's cheeks turned a little pink. "I -I'm not," she tightened her jaw and lowered her eyes. "Harry and I … were meant to _talk_ after the war, but he got good at avoiding me."

The room fell silent.

Remus wanted to kick himself. Clearing his throat, he said, "Well, it's been a difficult time for everybody. We just have to pick ourselves up as best we can and carry on."

George made a quiet snorting sound but didn't say anything else. Remus didn't have the heart to berate the young man. It would only cause more tension than there already. Throughout his awkward divergence of Ginny's conversation, Sirius and Molly had been bickering about Merlin knew what.

"I appreciate how hard it's all been for him," Ginny ground out. "I just hate being treated like a dumb kid. He did it during the war but we're not in a war right now. He should have … spoken to me."

"Gin, he didn't even talk to _us_ about doing this," Ron said placatingly. "It was as much a shock for us as it was for you."

Ginny scoffed and rolled her eyes.

Both Hermione and Remus opened their mouths to argue when Molly's shrill voice cut through the air.

"HE'S NOT JAMES, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU WANT HIM TO BE!"

"I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE OUT THAT HE'S JAMES!"

"You're so desperate for him to be James that you've agreed to this stupid plan of his!"

"He knew the risks. I advised against it but I can't stop him from doing anything dangerous ever!"

"No! You just encourage it like you do with Remus. Like you always did with James, egging him on!"

Remus glanced down and saw that Harry was pressing himself back into his chair, his green eyes wide with fear. Hermione had her arm around his shoulders, trying to coax him to turn away, but he was transfixed and trembling.

Standing up, Remus gripped Sirius' shoulder and leaned into his ear, "Sirius, calm down. You're scaring Harry."

Sirius froze. He turned and crouched down before Harry and took his little hands into his own. "I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean to get angry."

Turning his amber eyes to Molly, Remus drew himself to his full height. "You have no right to say any of what you just did. Sirius is doing his best to give Harry a decent childhood. We're making the best of our current situation. DO NOT undermine Sirius' efforts just because he didn't give Harry over to you."

"He would have been happier here!"

"He's happy where he is," Remus tried to keep the growl out of his voice. "With his Dad."

"He's not his -!"

"MUM!"

All heads turned to see George hunched over the table, his face screwed up as though he were in pain. Molly's mouth worked soundlessly but she didn't utter a word.

"You cannot control everything. Having Harry live with us wouldn't have made it all better! It wouldn't have given you a son back. Nothing we can ever do will ever bring Fred back to us! So just … stop the goddamn fighting. The war is done, it's over." He stood up, raked a hand through his red hair and clenched his jaw. "Stop acting so selfish, spoiled and pathetic. All of you."

Without a backwards glance, he stalked out of the kitchen and hurried up the stairs. Somewhere above, a door slammed shut.

Sirius ran a hand down his face and gave Harry a squeeze. "Can you look after him for a few minutes?" he asked Hermione. "I need some fresh air."

Hermione and Ron nodded as Harry was settled back in his seat.

Sirius tickled Harry's cheek before turning and walking out the back door. Remus followed him close behind.

.

The back garden was illuminated with thousands of floating lights along the perimeter, contrasting with the vast blackness that engulfed them from every side. The long grass hissed as a sharp breeze blew, and the dark clouds overhead seemed to suppress all the sound around them. Sirius was standing at the far end of the garden, his back to the house and his hands buried in his pockets. It was cold.

Remus hunched his shoulders and cast a mild warming charm on both of them as he came to stand by Sirius. Tilting his head back he looked up into the inky sky and wished, for a moment, that the clouds would part and he could see the moon and the stars.

"You know she's only doing it to get a rise out of you," he murmured.

"Hm."

"You shouldn't rise to the bait."

"It's hard when she acts as though no one else is allowed to be a parent except for her."

"That's just how she is," Remus sighed, his breath pluming up before him. "You can't lose your temper like that in front of Harry."

"I know … I know."

"Do you want to come back in? Arthur says we can have dessert in about an hour."

"Hm."

"Sirius … I'm on your side, you know."

"I know."

"So, come back inside before you get sick."

Another long, weary sigh escaped him before he nodded. "Alright, let's go back in," he grumbled.

.

The Burrow was more subdued when everyone gathered back at the table for dessert. Harry had been playing a game of Exploding Snap with Ron and Hermione, much to his delight. They'd even managed to coax George back down to have something, although he went back to his seat at the end of the table, hunched his shoulders and kept his gaze on his bowl.

Once the cake, Christmas pudding, and ice cream for Harry, was dished out, the soft murmurs of several conversations at once started up. Sirius was glad to have a reason to ignore the glances Molly kept shooting him from the other end of the table.

"Sirius, Ron and I have been talking about the _Prophet_," Hermione piped up. They were sat across from Remus and Sirius near the end of the table, affording them a little privacy from Molly.

"What about it?" Remus asked.

"We were thinking about how there's a lot of speculation about Harry's whereabouts since the battle and how no one's seen him recently," she hedged.

"Okay?"

"We were thinking about Polyjuice potion."

Remus's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. Sirius leaned closer; his brow furrowed. "What exactly are you suggesting?"

"Like at the start of seventh year when we had to rescue Harry from Privet Drive, we used Polyjuice potion so that seven of us could look like Harry and divert the Death Eaters."

"I see," Sirius turned his frown to Remus. "You never told me this happened."

A shrug. "It would have come up at some point. And now it has."

Sirius tensed his jaw but tried to calm down. "Okay," he said turning back to Ron and Hermione. "How do you think that will help?"

"We were thinking one of us could Polyjuice as Harry and be out with one or both of us and purposefully get photographed in Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade."

"That way they can speculate about why Harry's been so quiet, but not think that he's vanished off the face of the earth," Ron supplied.

"You'd need hairs from him," Remus frowned. "Old hairs. If you take ones off his head now, you would turn into a six-year-old Harry."

Hermione frowned and bit her lip. "Did he use a hairbrush at yours?" she asked Sirius.

"Yeah, I use a different one now."

"Okay that should work," she mused. "Then we can turn into eighteen year old Harry's."

"How are you going to stop the press from talking to you?" Remus asked. "After seeing Harry for the first time in six months, they'll fall on you like wolves."

"I'll have to look up some barrier charms for that," Hermione admitted. "Now we just need to find time to brew the Polyjuice potion. It'll take about a month to brew it properly, and of course it'll be difficult to get the ingredients as well as study for everything else."

Ron smiled and shook his head and she rambled.

"Draco can brew the potion," Remus said.

Several heads turned to look at him, including Molly and Arthur. Ignoring the slight tension in the air, Hermione nodded with a relieved smile. "That would be brilliant! I'm more than happy to help in any way I can, but it would be great to be able to brew it without so many distractions."

"I'm sure Draco wouldn't mind. We've kitted out his lab in the cellar to the best we could," Sirius beamed proudly. "Just send him an owl and discuss the finer details."

"I'm sure as long as no one accidentally ends up with cats ears and a tail, we'll be fine," Ron snickered, earning him a jab in the ribs from Hermione.

"You really trust that snake to make a potion that doesn't poison you?" Ginny curled her lip from beside Ron. She sucked some cream from the end of her spoon.

"Why wouldn't we?" Hermione frowned. "Draco's changed. We all have. I really believe he's doing his best to better himself."

"He can change what he is on the outside, but inside he's still going to be Malfoy's son."

"I trust him to brew my wolfsbane," Remus said coldly, his eyes hardening. "I haven't any complications. If anything, he's made it as seamlessly as Severus did."

"Yet," Ginny said.

"I'll have you know, Miss Weasley, that my cousin is doing his best to right his wrongs and is making amends for his pureblood views. He's showing a great deal of maturity on the matter, all things considered. Unlike you, who's sulking around the house like an immature teenager who can't get over her fangirl crush." Leaning against the table, he barred his teeth, his grey eyes wide and stormy. "Harry clearly has a lot to deal with since he _died for us_. Maybe you should think about someone else for a change."

"Well you died, and you came back fine!" Ginny retorted hotly.

Sirius glowered. In one swift movement, he'd downed his drink and stooped to gather Harry up in his arms. "Come on, love, we're going home."

"But I want to stay and play more snaps!" Harry protested.

"Another time, pup, we need to get you into bed so Santa can visit."

"Will he bring my presents?"

"If we go now, then yes, he'll bring all the presents."

"Okay!" Leaning over Sirius' shoulder, Harry waved enthusiastically at the stunned faces of the Weasley's. "Bye everyone! Daddy's taking me home now!"

Molly looked as though she was about to correct him, but Arthur's hand on her arm and a firm shake of his head stopped her. Instead she gave a tight smile and said, "We'll see you soon, Harry dear."

Sirius strode outside, not bothering with their coats, and apparated with a sharp crack.

Remus hung his head, casting a disappointed look at Ginny who cowered under his gaze. "Ginny, I would learn to watch my mouth around my elders if I were you. Especially those elders who survived twelve years in Azkaban and escaped."

"Remus! Are you threatening my daughter?!"

Sighing, Remus turned his attention to Molly. "Of course not, Molly. I'm merely reminding her the sheer psychological cesspit of Sirius', and now Harry's, mind, and that she should watch her tongue on matters she knows nothing about."

"Oh, and you do?" Ginny snapped, fully seething now. Her cheeks took on an ugly red colour that clashed with her hair.

Downing his drink, Remus stood up from the table. "I hope you all have a pleasant Christmas tomorrow. Hermione," he turned to her with an apologetic look, "I'll tell Draco to start brewing some Polyjuice to have on stand-by. Make sure you owl him as soon as you're able."

"I will," she replied meekly.

Remus gathered the coats from the entrance and slung them over his arm. Stepping out into the frigid night air, he inhaled deeply, trying to dispel the ugly, hot angry that permeated his mind. As soon as he felt a little clearer, he disparated on the spot.

~0~

Remus landed heavily on the pavement outside Grimmauld place.

He spoke the address, waited for the house to present itself to him before slipping through the wards. He mounted the steps to the front door and went inside.

The house was gloomy and empty. There was no sign of life. A quick check upstairs showed that Harry was safely tucked into his bed with a nightlight on.

He eventually found Sirius in the back garden.

Sliding open the back door, he traipsed over the long, frosted grass and settled onto the ground beside his friend. There was an open bottle of firewhiskey beside him. Sirius picked it up and offered it to him without so much as a glance. Remus took a swig and gasped as it scorched down his throat.

They didn't speak as they passed the bottle back and forth until it was empty.

Lying down on the grass Sirius let out a sigh, his breath rising in a cloud above his parted lips. A tremor ran down Remus' spine; it reminded him too much of the Dementor's trying to suck out your soul. Casting a warming charm on both of them, he reluctantly sprawled out on the grass, the blade crunching under his weight.

"There are times when I think Molly is right," Sirius murmured. Remus turned his head to look at his friend. "I don't think anything could have prepared me for fatherhood. I can't understand how James did it."

"He had more time to process it," Remus replied. "Look at me; I had loads of time and I'm barely holding it together."

"Do you think they'd be proud of us?"

Remus frowned. "Wherever they are? I really hope so. We're both trying so damn hard. I _want_ them to be proud of us."

They lie there in silence, watching the dark clouds rolling over head. Every so often a star would wink through at them before becoming obscured again. Sirius looked down between their bodies and reached out to take Remus' hand. His insides flipped a little as he slid their fingers together, the lycan's skin was cold and calloused in his hand. He held on for a few moments, before Remus pulled away and pushed himself into a sitting position.

"Sirius I … I can't. It's not fair to Dora …"

Sirius forced himself upright as well, leaning on his bent knees to get a proper look at Remus. "Hurting yourself won't bring her back, Remus," he placed a firm hand on the other man's shoulder and squeezed. "Denying yourself happiness won't bring her back."

"I should hurt for as long as I miss her."

"You will _always_ miss her. You're never not going to miss her, Remus," Sirius sighed. "That doesn't mean you can't make the pain more bearable."

"I don't want you to be a means to an end, Sirius. You're worth more than that." Remus looked up into his friend's eyes and Sirius had to bite his tongue to snap a retort.

The anguish bubbling inside Remus was enough to make his own heart ache. He wanted to reach out to Remus as the man stood up and brushed cold grass from his trousers, but he was afraid of being brushed aside. He didn't think he would be able to take anymore hostility or rejection from him, not matter how unintentional it was.

He watched Remus retreat back across the garden, mount the patio steps and then slip inside the back door. The sound of the door being closed gave off a ring of finality that echoed through his bones.

With a heavy heart, Sirius collapsed back on the frosty grass. He lied there on the grass in the back garden until the sky started to lose some of the inky blackness, and the robins chirruped that Christmas Day had officially started. His body twitched and shivered from the long hours out in the cold, and he was almost sure his lips had turned blue, but he didn't feel a thing.

He was numb.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed this update! Apologies for any spelling errors. Please read and review, it keeps me sane in these dull, long times of Lockdown. Hope you are all keeping safe and well.**

**Belle x**


	23. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**Author's Note: I am very sorry for the lateness of this update. Over the last three weeks now (wow has it really been that long?) I have been suffering with some horrible symptoms that leave my left leg and arm in agonising pain for long periods of time. Naturally, this makes it difficult to write freehand let alone type. I will be taking my time from this point on and keep plugging away at my stories in the intervals where I AM pain free. **

**B x**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

.

.

_**~Christmas Day~**_

.

The floo roared to life, the green flames flashing violently as Andromeda stepped out onto the hearth with Teddy cradled against her chest. She stepped to one side, brushing soot off her robes and wiping at Teddy's cheeks with a handkerchief, before another roar from the fireplace announced Draco's arrival.

"Ah, there you are dear. I was worried you'd gotten lost," she teased, offering him a clean handkerchief to wipe the dust from his face.

He accepted it with an eye roll. "Not likely, Auntie."

A doorway upstairs shut. The thundering of feet hurried across the landing and down the staircase. "Draco! Draco! Draco! Draco! Draco!" Harry skidded to a stop in the doorway, his hair ruffled, his eyes bright behind his glasses and his Spider-man print pyjamas seeming just a little too short on his wrists and ankles. "You're back!" he beamed, running at Draco with his arms stretched wide for a hug.

Draco fought the muscles in his face but was unable to stop the smile from breaking free. Bending down, he grabbed Harry under the arms and planted him firmly on his hip with a grunt. The kid was getting a little too big for this lark. "Merry Christmas to you too, Harry. Did you miss me?"

"Yes!" Harry nodded enthusiastically. "But I had to stay here and go to sleep otherwise Santa wouldn't bring me any presents."

"Well look," Draco turned and showed the huge stack of brightly coloured gifts under the tree. "Looks like Santa came and left without you knowing."

Harry's mouth dropped open. "Wow! Wait …" he frowned. "You weren't here last night, does that mean Santa didn't get you a present?"

Draco felt his smile drop. "I wasn't a very good boy this year, Harry. I don't think I'll have any presents from Santa."

"Oh," Harry dropped his head and started to pluck at the silver snake pin on Draco's collar. "Did you say a bad word?"

Andromeda snickered.

Draco nodded, "Yes, I said a few bad words. I did some naughty things, but I'm trying to be good now."

"Oh, well that's okay then. Daddy says as long as you try to do your best that's what counts."

"It does indeed, squirt," Remus appeared in the doorway with a mug of coffee. "Glad to see you're all extremely early this morning. Would anyone like some tea and breakfast?"

"That would be lovely," Andromeda smiled, crossing the room and stroked Remus' fringe out of his eyes. "You need a haircut, young man."

He swatted her hand away, "Yes, yes, I'm fully aware." Tenderly lifting Teddy out of her arms, he pressed a kiss to the child's plump cheek. "I missed you, little man. Who'd have thought I'd miss waking up at 4am to change you, eh?"

Andromeda chuckled as they turned to head to the kitchen. "You're welcome to that part of his life as long as you want."

As they disappeared down the hallway, Draco settled Harry back down onto the floor. "Come on then, kid, let's get some breakfast and then you can open your presents."

"Wait!" Harry tugged on Draco's hand, pulling him to a stop. "Have you seen my Daddy? I went in his room to wake him up, but he wasn't in there."

Draco frowned. "Maybe he was in the bathroom."

"Nuh uh, I checked."

"I'll go and see where he is, okay? Why don't you go and have breakfast with the others, and I'll find Sir – er- your Dad?"

Harry pouted, swinging gently on Draco's hand before letting go. "Okay."

Draco stood in the entryway until he saw Harry step down into the kitchen and closed the door behind him. Hanging his blazer up for the time being, he took the stairs two at a time and started looking through each room. The third floor was empty, as was the second. None of the bathrooms were occupied. He was just beginning to think about panicking when he looked out of the second storey window out onto the back garden and frozen. Sirius was sitting in the frosty grass, a man-shaped green patch where he'd been lying for who knew how long.

"What the fuck?" he hissed to himself.

He hurried down the stairs and pried open the back door. The bite of the cold air made every muscle tighten. He hunched over, arms tightly wrapped around himself as he stalked across the patio and down onto the crisp grass. He made his way to Sirius, his teeth already chattering.

"W-what are y-you d-doing out h-here?"

Sirius glanced up at him, his face drawn and taut, his curls hanging limply around his cheeks. "Get b-back inside D-Draco. I'll b-be down before lunch."

"I'm not g-going in without you," Draco ground out.

With a sigh, Sirius forced himself to his feet, wrapped his arms around himself and allowed Draco to guide him back up into the house. Draco accompanied his cousin to a bathroom on the second floor. Sirius sat down listlessly on the toilet seat whilst Draco hesitated, before running water into the bathtub. As steam rose in the room, the frost that had accumulated on Sirius' person began to melt. The older man shivered as icy drops ran into his collar and down his chest.

Once the water was deep enough, Draco turned around to give Sirius some privacy as he shrugged out of his sodden clothes and slid into the frothy bath. Turning back to him, Draco scooped up the clothes off the floor. "Do you want me to get you anything?"

Sirius shook his head, "My robes on the back of the door. I'll be fine."

Draco hovered for a moment, before leaving his cousin to his own devices.

He returned to the ground floor just as the chime of the floo opening at 10 o'clock rang out. Side-stepping into the lounge, Draco closed the door and watched as the flames flared green and roared upwards. His stomach lurched as Narcissa appeared in the fireplace and stepped out onto the hearthrug, dusting soot from her simple robes. He felt a momentary sadness overwhelm him; his mother used to love dressing her finest for Christmas, not simply for appearances sake, but because she liked to dress-up. Unfortunately, all their most expensive clothing had been confiscated and auctioned off as part of their reparations.

She cleared her throat, bringing him sharply back to the present. He smiled and hurried to her; arms outstretched. She caught him, a smile playing on her lips as she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face against his shoulder. Draco sighed, burying his nose in her hair and squeezing.

"I'm so glad they let you come here today," he murmured, slowly pulling away.

"So am I, dragon," she sighed, a strained smile on her face as she released him. Gently touching at her hair to make sure it was in place. She was nervous. Her grey eyes darted towards the door, her lips pressing together. "I had rather expected everyone to be in here."

"They're all in the kitchen, having something to eat."

"Ah, I see." She glanced him up and down and nodded approvingly, "You look very handsome, dear. What is this you're wearing?" She touched the lapel of his blazer.

"It's a muggle blazer. Sirius and Remus insisted I may need one. I haven't had an excuse to wear it until today."

Narcissa hummed thoughtfully, "I never thought I'd say it, but it suits you very well."

Draco couldn't help but preen a little. He hadn't felt anything like his old confident self since long before the trials. Extending his arm for his mother to take he said, "Shall we go down and join everyone?"

Narcissa froze, her hand on his forearm. "Is … is my sister here?" she breathed.

"Andromeda? Yes, she's here with her grandson."

"Oh, yes. He was born right before the final battle, wasn't he?"

Draco nodded solemnly. "Andromeda has been very kind to me."

Narcissa nodded curly. Drawing in a deep breath, she sighed. "I suppose we may as well get this over with."

Walking down towards the kitchen was a little awkward considering how narrow the hallway was. However, they managed to squeeze down, shoulder-to-shoulder. Draco opened the door and stepped down into the kitchen, clearing his throat so that he could get everyone's attention. Doing a quick scan of the room, he noted that Sirius still wasn't present.

"Everyone, I just wanted to let you know that … um …" he swallowed thickly. "My mother has just arrived."

Remus's eyebrows rose. "I didn't hear the floo. Bring her in, I'll put the kettle back on."

Draco nodded stiffly and stepped down into the kitchen. He noted the hush of his mother's robes on the tiled floor as she appeared in the doorway. "Good morning everyone," she said, adopting the detached voice she usually wore when attending ministry functions with his father. "I'm honoured that you would be willing to host me for Christmas after … everything."

A chair scraped back against the floor.

Andromeda was on her feel, her wide eyes narrowed slightly as she walked along the length of the decorated table to stand a few feet in front of her sister and nephew. Draco heard his mother's breath hitch behind him.

"Narcissa."

"Andromeda."

"It's been a while."

"It has."

They stared at one another, a thousand unspoken arguments, insults and apologies racing through the air between them. Draco couldn't even begin to imagine how difficult this was; one sister disowned from her family for marrying a muggle, the other one having fallen quite spectacularly from grace mere months beforehand. It was enough to make anyone's head spin.

"We have a lot to discuss," Andromeda stated in a clipped tone."

"Yes," Narcissa sighed. "Yes, we do."

"But not today." Draco's head snapped up to stare at his aunt. In that moment he saw that she was definitely a Black daughter with the way she held herself, the regal tilt of her head. "Today is a time for family, old and new, to celebrate. Any other such things can be discussed later."

"I … I would like that very much."

"Good," a curt nod. "Would you like to meet your great-nephew?"

Narcissa let out a soft 'yes' and was soon guided around the kitchen table to sit adjacent to her long-lost sister, baby Teddy in the middle happily grizzling away in his chair whilst gumming a muggle toy.

Sighing with relief, Draco took a seat on his mother's other side. Remus came to sit down beside Andromeda, setting several mugs of tea on the table before returning to the cooker. "Draco do you want some eggs on toast?"

"Do you have any bacon as well?"

"Of course, I do!"

"Then yes please, I'm rather hungry."

"Narcissa would you like anything?"

"I -no, thank you. I had something before I floo-ed over."

A plate of food hovered over, and Draco plucked it out of the air with a smile. It was only then that he noticed Harry wasn't at the table. At his frown, Remus waved a spatula at the ceiling, "He ran upstairs looking for Sirius."

Andromeda eased her sister into a somewhat stilted conversation; although the tension was thick around them, Draco was mildly amused that neither woman faltered in finding something to discuss. Breakfast was served, and suddenly Draco didn't care that he wanted to prove to his mother that living without magic hadn't changed him; he dug straight into the meal as though it were his last. He could feel her eyes on him, but he wasn't at all bothered. Remus' breakfasts, he'd come to find, were worth looking like a slob for.

Once finished, he took his and Remus' empty plates to the sink, despite having his wand tucked safely away in his bedside drawer. As he was stacking the now clean plates onto the side, the kitchen door swung open to reveal a worn-out but immaculate Sirius. He smiled at the two women sat at the table. He even did a little bow, taking first Andromeda's hand and then Narcissa's, kissing their knuckles in such a dramatic manner.

"Ah, to be in the presence of such beauty as my two lovely cousins!" he beamed dreamily. "Such a pleasure you were able to be here for Christmas, Cissy."

Narcissa pulled a face, "_Please_ don't use that nickname, Sirius! It's ghastly!"

"Lighten up," Andromeda smirked. "It's only for one day."

"Yes, but the letters will last a lifetime," Narcissa bemoaned drily.

The kitchen door slammed open, making everyone jump.

"Daddy! Can we open Christmas presents now?"

Draco felt his heart lurch in his chest. Sirius recovered quickly and straightened up. "Now, pup, we agreed that as soon as everyone is finished with breakfast, we'll open presents."

Harry frowned before hurrying over to Draco and tugging on his sleeve. Rolling his eyes with a sigh, he lowered his head so that Harry could whisper in his ear. "Are you finished eating, Draco?"

"Yes, Harry, I am."

Turning a broad grin to his godfather Harry announced, "Then it's time to open presents!"

The kid was so enthusiastic, he turned and hurried up the few steps and out into the main hall.

The silence in the kitchen hung hot and heavy, making Draco wish he could claw his own skin off. He chanced a glance up at his mother, who's face looked frozen in shock. He braced himself for what was coming.

"Would someone _please_ like to tell me why the FUCK Harry Potter is a child?!"

~0~

It took an hour to calm Narcissa down.

Draco was in the lounge trying to entertain Harry as much as possible, to distract him from the absence of other adults and the lack of opening Christmas presents. He was shocked when Remus had snuck into the room and murmured '_Alohamora'_ at the drink's cabinet, snuck a bottle of firewhiskey out, and held his finger to his lips before slipping back out. Harry hadn't even looked up from the game of 'Snaps!' he was playing with Draco.

Not long after, Remus and the others entered the lounge without Narcissa. Taking Draco to one side, Sirius murmured, "I think your mother wants a quiet minute with you. She's had a bit of a shock."

"Yes, I know how she feels," he'd replied quietly. With a clap on the back from his cousin, Draco excused himself and hurried down into the kitchen. He closed the door behind him and frowned as he took a seat beside his mother at the worn kitchen table. They sat in silence for what felt like forever. Draco chewed on the inside of his cheek, his palms sweating. "Mother?" he eventually said. "Are you alright?"

She turned to look at his as though not really seeing him. "Yes, dear. I'm just … surprised, that's all."

Draco nodded mutely.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was sworn to secrecy. I couldn't. Besides, you know our letters are monitored and no doubt intercepted. I didn't want to risk Harry getting exposed for what he did."

Narcissa nodded. "I can understand that. I just … I was unprepared. I hadn't expected to see him so … young."

Draco hummed softly. "It … took me a while to get used to it."

"I can imagine."

They lapsed into silence once again.

"So … has this been helping you? Come to terms with … living without magic?"

A little," Draco admitted. "Sirius has been pushing me in at the deep-end a lot, especially in regard to childcare and working around two children. Remus had been more patient, even teaching me to cook the muggle way a little bit."

"Really?" her eyebrows shot up. "I'm impressed, dear. Hopefully you can cook for me one day soon."

"Have you learned, mother?"

"I have … struggled," she sighed. "Hopefully after the New Year you could send me memories of Remus teaching you to cook. Perhaps I could learn the muggle way as well."

Smiling widely, Draco said, "I'd love that very much, mother." He took her hand in his own and stood. "Let us go next door so Potter can open his presents."

.

Harry was bouncing on the carpet as he anxiously waited to open the tall mound of presents. He really had gotten spoiled. Remus had a distant look on his face, that he forced into a tense smile whenever he felt someone's eyes on him. Draco wanted to ask him what was going on between him and Sirius, but there was enough drama to deal with today, without adding THAT into the mix.

"Alright, kiddo, time to open your presents!" Sirius grinned, kneeling down beside Harry, a garish muggle Santa hat on his head. Grabbing a present from the pile he plonked it down on the carpet. "Now this one is from … me!"

"Wow, it's big!" Harry grinned, his hands gripping at the paper and ripping. The paper tore away to reveal a small broomstick, it's twigs sleek and smoothed into a perfect bulb at the end. "A broom?! Wow, Daddy this is brilliant! I can't wait to ride it!" Leaping to his feet, Harry flung himself at Sirius, his arms around his neck and almost toppled them back into the tree.

"At least this time he's a more appropriate age for this," Remus said.

Sirius rolled his eyes good naturedly before handing Harry another present.

For another thirty minutes, they all watched as Harry ripped his way through his pile of presents; from Mrs. Weasley he got a miniature knitted jumper as well as a new hat and mittens that he'd outgrow within a few weeks, a few muggle toys called 'ACTION MAN' from Hermione and a children's first snitch from Ron. From Remus, he got a couple of age-appropriate books and some art-and-craft kits, which would definitely help to entertain on those rainy days. From Andromeda he received a few boards games, muggle and magical, along with a few clothes in various sizes.

Draco felt his hands grow clammy as his presents were placed in front of Harry. He hadn't known what to get the kid and he'd tried to think of some way he would be able to help Harry as he aged. Harry plucked at the nametag and beamed up at Draco after mouthing his name. Tearing open the paper of the first present, Harry lifted out a stuffed dragon. He gasped when the pudgy stuffed wings flapped and a plume of lavender smoke puffed from his nostrils when Harry squeezed it.

Without any prompting from Sirius, Harry stood up, dragon in arms, and almost knocked Draco over again in his eagerness for a hug.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" he chimed, bouncing up and down, his arms squeezing Draco's legs tightly.

Everyone chuckled, the atmosphere lightening a little bit. Draco could feel the weight of his mother's gaze on him and he slowly extracted himself from Potter's grasp. "You're welcome, Harry."

"Oh … you have another one here, Harry."

The wrapping paper was torn off eagerly and Harry frowned down at the box in his hands. Sirius glanced at the box over Harry's head and let out a loud bark of laughter, "Oh, blondie that's brilliant!"

"What is it?" Andromeda asked, smiling.

Sirius held the box up. On the front, in bright, bold letters were the words '101 MAGICAL POTIONS EXPERIMENTS FOR KIDS!' Andromeda chuckled as did Narcissa, whereas Remus merely shook his head fondly.

"I'm telling you all, here and now, I am NOT cleaning up that lab when Harry gets purple goop over everything."

Everyone dissolved into laughter as Sirius called for Kreacher to get everyone a cup of tea. The old elf obliged, bowing until his ears nearly stroked the floor, before disappearing with a crack! As everyone's cups was refilled, the presents for everyone else was handed around. As Sirius handed them out, he felt his heart droop a little and not seeing anything for him with Remus' handwriting on it. He'd toyed with the idea of buying anything for his friend, the last week having been an unmitigated disaster that happened AFTER he'd finally caved. He left said present under the tree; it was small so no one would notice.

Draco received an array of thick, muggle clothing that would help him through the winter, some new notebooks and quills for his assignments, some rare potions ingredients that he wasn't sure he had a use for, but was grateful for regardless. Narcissa gave him a sad smile. He knew how she felt; it had been hard to fund Christmas presents this year. He didn't hold it against his mother, and he hoped she felt the same.

The other exchanged their gifts; Sirius got a box of muggle sweets that had his eyes light up like Christmas decorations, along with a snazzy silk waistcoat from Andromeda and a new paperback book, apparently from some muggle author he really liked. Draco noticed that Remus didn't offer his cousin anything and had to bite his tongue really hard from saying anything.

Remus got a load of new cardigans from Andromeda -at his protests she'd tutted at him and her disapproving stare made the mild man shrink a little -a photo frame with a moving photo inside of Teddy and himself from a few weeks prior.

Once everything had unwrapped and the wrapping paper vanished, Sirius scooped Harry up and plopped him down on the sofa beside Andromeda and Teddy. "Watch my little man, will you, Andi? I have to get dinner started."

"You're cooking?" Narcissa asked, her eyebrows arching in surprise.

Sirius nodded, "Tastes better when cooked the muggle way. Mostly."

"Do you want some help?" Remus offered. Sirius and Draco snapped their heads to him. Remus ignored them both, adopting an innocently placid expression. "At least I can help peel and chop things. You can't cook the entire meal by yourself."

"I … er … yeah, sure! That's be great!"

The two men left the room.

As soon as the door closed, Andromeda flicked her wand at the door and cast a _Muffliato_. Adjusting Teddy in her lap, she turned to Draco and leaned a little closer, "Now, nephew dear, would you care to tell me what on earth is going on with those two?"

~0~

It was a few hours later in the kitchen. Everything that had needed peeling or chopping had been handled within the first hour. The chicken was sizzling slowly in its own juices, darkening to a beautiful golden colour, all the timers were set and now they were working on perfecting the potatoes in a separate oven as well as the pudding. Sirius had complained, not wanting a fig pudding as no fruit should ever be allowed near a cake for dessert. Remus had rolled his eyes and said that they could make chocolate lava cake instead.

It had gone well. The only real magic they used was a stasis charm on anything that was ready. The table was laid out, ready and waiting, whilst Sirius flicked his wand at the used utensils in the sink and set the scours to scrubbing. Remus had cocked an eyebrow.

"I said I wouldn't use charms for cooking, not for cleaning," Sirius retorted to Remus' judgemental silence.

Remus chuckled as he continued working on the chocolate pudding. He set the three puddings into the oven, flicked his wand, and cast a stasis charm on them, before turning to toss his implements into the sink.

"Finally!" Remus sighed, swiping a hand across his brow. "I am exhausted. I don't think I have the energy to eat."

Sirius laughed and raked a hand through his ear. There was a small smear of chocolate right by Remus' lip. He reached out and wiped at the smear with his thumb. Remus stiffened at the contact; the light atmosphere replaced with something cloying. Their eyes locked for a brief moment before Sirius cleared his throat. "Er … you just had some chocolate … right there."

"Oh," Remus used the cuff of his Christmas jumper to wipe at spot on his face.

Sirius felt the words forcing their way up his throat. He could say it now, whilst they were alone. Movement from above caught his eye and his heart thrummed achingly.

Mistletoe.

Remus glanced above them and felt everything tense.

As he was about to open his mouth the kitchen door forcefully swung open. "Daddy! I'm hungry!"

Sirius jerked away, hurrying over to scoop Harry up and tickle him. Remus turned back to the counter to busy himself with wiping the sides down, willing the colour in his cheeks to subside. He drew in deep breaths, calming himself down. He nearly jumped when he saw a stray mistletoe leaf drift down onto the spotless counter. He swiped it away into the sink before turning back to face the room.

"Take your seats everyone!" Sirius grinned with forced cheer. "We didn't slave away all afternoon for you to look at it!"

With a flick of his wand the stasis charms vanished, and the fresh cloud of aromas burst into the air. Crackers were pulled and silly and tissue hats were placed haphazardly onto people's heads. Remus laughed as the lame jokes were told, anecdotes were shared and solemnly raised his glass when they made a toast, over dessert, for their missing loved ones. He tucked into his sinfully decadent chocolate pudding, his insides were twisting at the sadness he felt for the absence of Dora, and for the way his heart had skipped at Sirius referring to them as 'we'.

Once the kitchen was cleared -leftovers having been placed in the fridge or in containers for Narcissa to take home and were all under stasis charms -they retired back into the lounge where Narcissa had her first experience with muggle TV. Draco was a little more used to it, but he had never seen 'THE GRINCH' before. Andromeda laughed every time either of them jumped or gasped at what they saw on the screen. Sirius thought it would be lovely to have some photos and so he disappeared to retrieve one.

When he came back down his heart stopped in his throat as Harry had come to stand right in front of Narcissa. They were staring at one another curiously, Harry's head tilting slightly. "Are you Draco's Mama?" he asked.

"Yes, dear, I am."

"Oh," his face looked distant for a moment. "You seem really nice."

"Thank you, young man. You seem very nice too."

"Daddy always tells me to be polite," he beamed brightly. "Did you know I don't have a mama?"

"I … yes, I do know that. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I have my Daddy and he loves me. I'm glad Draco has a Mama who's as nice as you."

"Oh, why is that?"

"Because Draco is the nicest person I know! He must have learned from you, cause I learned all my manners from Daddy!"

Narcissa smiled, "He taught you very well, didn't he?" She reached out and tickled his cheek. He giggled and shied away slightly. "So why do you think Draco is nice?"

"He watches my favourite movies with me, and he doesn't yell when I'm bad, and and and sometimes he tucks me in at night, but only sometimes." He drew in a breath and then continued, "He also loves playing games with me and he's the best Seeker ever!"

"Seeker?" Narcissa cocked an eyebrow. "You two have played Quidditch?"

"No, daddy says I'm still too little, but we plays hide and seeks! And Draco is the best Seeker ever! He always finds me super fast!"

Narcissa laughed brightly, her eyes catching Draco's as he groaned and dropped his head into his hands in embarrassment. It was the most perfect image as Sirius uncapped the lens and snapped a photo.

The rest of the evening passed with a lot of photos. Draco saw his mother get a little emotional; they hadn't had any casual or candid photos for years at the Manor. Sirius took enough photos to fill an entire album, and Draco was more than happy for it. Andromeda had even looped an arm around her sister's waist and pulled her close, the first photo of the both of them for over twenty years.

At some point throughout the course of the evening, Draco heard his mother and aunt discussing muggle cooking, and Andromeda had even offered to give his mother some tips. She'd had to learn at one point, herself, as Ted had only known how to cook the muggle way.

10 o'clock chimed from the grandfather clock and the floo roared to life, startling all of them. An Auror stepped through, his robes dusting soot along the hearthrug. "Narcissa Malfoy, I am here to escort you back to your premises where your probation will be resumed."

Nodding curtly, Narcissa stood and embraced her sister. A few words were murmured back and forth, before she swooped in to hug Draco and whispered, "I love you my Dragon. Write to me," into his ear. She then hugged and kissed Sirius and Remus on the cheek before making her way over to the hearth.

The auror was just about to wave his wand to bind her wrists, when something tugged at the sleeve of her robes. Glancing down, Narcissa was surprised to see Harry peering up at her with his wide, green eyes. Ignoring the auror, Narcissa crouched down so that she was eye-level with Harry. "Yes, dear, what is it?"

"Do you have to go away again?" he asked quietly.

"I'm afraid so, Harry."

Harry nodded solemnly. "I thought maybe you could have this," he mumbled, taking his hands from behind his back and presenting Narcissa with a white stuffed owl with large orange eyes. It was incredibly soft to the touch.

Taking the owl in her hands, Narcissa felt her heart clench in her chest. She blinked tears from her eyes and forced a smile as she absently stroked the feathers. "That's rather sweet of you, Harry, but don't you want to keep her?"

Harry shook his head, "Hootie kept me safe for a long time. Now she can keep you company! Until you come back and you're not lonely anymore!"

"What about you, dear?"

"I have my dragon now!" he grinned, pointing at the stuffed dragon perched by Draco's feet. "He'll look after me now!"

Narcissa bit her lip but was unable to hide her smile at the sentiment. "Well," she cleared her throat. "You have to look after your dragon, too, Harry. So that he grows big and strong to protect you even better."

Harry blinked up at her before leaning in and whispering, "He can't really grow. He's a teddy!"

Narcissa laughed gently. "Well in that case, you have to look after him anyway," her eyes met Draco's above the mop of black hair. "Dragon's need protecting too." She pulled Harry to her chest and hugged him tightly, the tears springing forth and he hugged her around the neck. She stroked his back a few times, the way she used to do when Draco was young, before pulling back and straightening up. "Thank you for having me everyone. Have a lovely new year."

The auror flicked his wand and thin, gold cuffs gleamed around Narcissa's wrists. She stepped up beside the auror into the fireplace. He spoke loud and clear when he recited her current address and then they vanished in a roar of emerald green flames.

"I think I'd best make a move as well," Andromeda said as the green flames died down. "Get little Teddy tucked up into bed."

"Do you want me to come through with you?" Remus asked.

"No, you're okay," she smiled tiredly at him. "I'd rather like to sleep myself. I wouldn't want you to be alone."

No one had the nerve to argue with her as she summoned her cloak from the coat hooks in the hallway, along with Teddy's baby carrier. Adjusting her cloak around her neck, she tucked Teddy into his carrier and lifted it into the crook of her elbow. "We'll be back again tomorrow afternoon. Try to get some rest."

She pressed a kiss to Sirius and Remus' cheeks before hugging Harry and then Draco with one arm. She took a pinch of floo powder from the pot on the mantle, tossed it into the flames and recited her address before she, too, vanished in a swirl of emerald light.

~0~

Just before 11 o'clock, Draco took Harry up to bed, the child dozing instantly on Draco's shoulder as he was carried out of the room, his dragon hanging limply over the blonde's shoulder. Sirius smiled wistfully at the blonde, before the atmosphere grew thing around him, like algae. He was alone with Remus once again, something that he was well aware the other man had wanted to avoid since the cooking debacle.

He toyed with his empty glass. He could feel his heartrate picking up speed as he debated on whether to open his mouth or not. He swallowed thickly. "Moony I –"

"Sirius."

He looked up; eyebrows raised expectantly. Remus was in much the same position as himself, his head bows as he toyed with the glass in his lap.

"I'm sorry," Remus sighed, rubbing awkwardly at his brow. "I've been making things awkward between us for a while. I should know when it gets to this sort of … time."

"Time?"

"For me to bow out. Step aside."

"Step aside -Moony what are you talking about?"

"I think I need to … um … l-live with Andromeda for a while. Let things settle down between us."

Sirius snorted and downed the last of his whiskey with a wince. It burned on the way down and he fought a cough. "Do you really think you moving out for a few weeks is going to stop all of this from happening?" He glanced up and cocked a derisive eyebrow at his companion. "You really think it'll stop me from wanting you lying next to me every night? From wanting to take care of you on a full moon? From caring for Teddy as though he were my son?"

Remus sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "Sirius you haven't dated much. You don't know what's out there, what you want -"

"Why do I need to go out looking for something when it's right here in front of me?" he challenged. "You think I'll go out there and meet the great love of my life?"

"It's possible."

"It's bullshit, Remus, and you know it!" he growled. Turning in his seat, he placed his arm on the back of the sofa and stared at Remus. "Do you really think I'm going to want them to touch me? Do you think I'll not compare their hair to yours and how it feels through my fingers? You don't think I'll judge them on how they like to take their tea or coffee and not instantly think of you?"

"Sirius you can't know that you love me!" Remus protested, his bright eyes almost pleading, for what he did not know. "How long have you even felt this way? A few months perhaps, since you came back?"

Another cold laugh came from Sirius' mouth. It made Remus flinch. "You want to know how long? Since fifth year! And it was doubly confirmed in sixth year, when we brewed amorentia at school!"

Remus' cheeks flared red and his lips trembled as the words sank in. "N-no, you're mistaken."

"Oh, am I?" Sirius challenged, his eyes burning a deep, smouldering grey. "Tell me what you smelled."

"It's irrelevant!"

"Well, mine smelled suspiciously like dark chocolate, being out in the forbidden forest, that old smell of books and parchment and then of course, the kicker, Earl Grey tea. Now, who does that remind you of?"

Remus swallowed thickly the lump in his throat making it hard to speak. He felt jittery inside, his thoughts an erratic mess as the warmth of Sirius' body drew closer across the sofa. He was so close Remus was sure he could count every black eyelash that surrounded those _beautiful_ grey eyes. He felt a small flame tickle his insides, but he trampled it down instantly.

He wasn't allowed to feel those things. He'd gotten lucky enough once that someone like Dora would love him but … that was short-lived as he'd always suspected it would be. If it hadn't been for the war, he was positive he would have done something bad to either drive her away or worse.

Lightning didn't strike in the same place twice. That's what the muggles always said.

Sirius sighed, his fingers lightly tracing along Remus' shoulder. "I never want you to feel pressured by how I feel, Moony, and if you reject me for anything other than self-loathing, I promise to back off."

"But you won't know?"

"No," Sirius shook his head. "Because I know you're not thinking beyond that hatred of yourself."

Remus ground his teeth and dropped his gaze to his lap. There was no point in arguing with him.

Sirius' hand came up and stroked his jaw. "You really are beautiful, Remus," he murmured, his fingers teasing the hairs on the nape of his neck. A shiver ran down his spine and he immediately clamped down on the butterflies that stirred in his belly. "I wish you could see what I see."

Remus felt hot breath ghost against his neck and he closed his eyes. He was struggling to keep his composure, he could feel himself responding to the heady, masculine aroma drifting up from Sirius' collar. It shouldn't have made his mouth water, but it did, and he hated himself for being weak.

"Sirius," he murmured, turning to look up at his friend. They were so close now, barely a few centimetres between them. Maybe it wouldn't be such a terrible thing if he caved and gave-in to his emotions and desires? He shifted in his seat, the jittery excitement battling with his nerves until he felt his muscles shaking a little.

Sirius threaded his hand through Remus' hair and gave a gentle tug, earning him a soft gasp. Moving closer, he felt Remus lean back against the pillows. He leaned close, feel the sharp touch of shadow grazing against his jaw, his lips ghosting so close he could –

TAP! TAP! TAP!

"For Merlin's sake!" Sirius shouted, causing Remus to jump.

Sitting upright on the sofa, he smoothed his hair down and felt embarrassment and regret rush through him as Sirius opened the window, snatched the note from the owl outside and shooed it away. He slammed the window closed, cutting off the rush of cold air that whipped inside.

"Um …" Remus cleared his throat. "Who's the letter from?"

"Hermione," he grunted back. "She wants them to come over at some point tomorrow to discuss the Polyjuice nonsense with Draco."

"Ah, well, good."

Sirius pocketed the letter and raked his curls out of his eyes. He looked around the room, at the decorations and twinkling lights. With a flick of his wand, the fairy lights turned off, the room cleared itself and only the lamp in the corner remained on, illuminating them both. Remus stood up, dusting himself down and setting his empty glass on the coffee table.

"I suppose we should call it a night, eh?"

Sirius stopped him with a gentle hand on his chest before either of them made it out of the doorway. "Promise me one thing, Moony?"

"What's that?"

Sirius' shoulders slumped, his fingertips pressing a little more firmly against his companions chest. "Promise you won't leave? At least stay until new year?"

"Sirius -"

"Please? I don't want to worry the boys."

Remus pursed his lips before nodding slowly, "Of course. I'll stay and have a think on … everything."

Sirius gave a wan smile that didn't reach his eyes. A fluttering motion drew their eyes to the top of the door. Another sprig of mistletoe was curling out of thin air above them, the pale berries almost glowing white in the dim light. Exhaling slowly, Sirius leaned up and pressed a kiss to Remus' cheek. "Merry Christmas Remus," he murmured quietly, before letting his hand fall to his side.

Remus watched as the older man walked up the stairs. He sighed and raked a hand through his greying hair before flicking his wand at the last lamp, casting the entire house into darkness.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you guys liked this chapter, and I know I've had similar complaints about my turn of phrase in the past but I shall like to answer those complaints here;**

**Remus is TALLER than Sirius but is YOUNGER than Sirius (by a few months).**

**Remus: born 10th March 1960, is 6'2" tall.**

**Sirius: born 3rd November 1959, is 5'5.9" tall.**


	24. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**Author's Note: I am very sorry for the lateness of this update. Over the last month now I have been suffering with some horrible symptoms that leave my left leg and arm in agonising pain for long periods of time. Naturally, this makes it difficult to write freehand let alone type. I will be taking my time from this point on and keep plugging away at my stories in the intervals where I AM pain free.**

**Just waiting on a brain scan appointment!**

**B x**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

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.

The last few days of December were a nightmare of emotional upheavals. Draco had caught a snippet of Remus and Sirius arguing in the study and had caught the phrase '_Andi would welcome the extra income!_' and then '_You can't keep throwing her in my face!_' He'd hurried off before he overheard anything else that made his stomach feel ill.

Harry had stuck to Draco like a little shadow, his new stuffed dragon clutched tightly to his middle as they went about their daily business. From the crumpled frown on his small face, Draco understood that the child was feeling the tension seething away between his cousin and Lupin. Still, Draco did his best to be cheerful about it all. It helped that there were so many new toys for Harry to play with and, for once, Draco didn't resist the distraction.

It was on the twenty-eighth of December, an unremarkable day, when Draco heard the distant roar of the floo from the lounge. Remus and Sirius were upstairs somewhere, a rare calm in the thrashing waves that usually accompanied them since Christmas Day. One of them could greet their guest.

For his part, Draco was in his potion's lab in the cellar. He had prepped two cauldrons off to one side for the Polyjuice potion, however at present he was more interested in introducing Harry to the basics with beginners brewing-kit. All things considered; Harry was doing rather well. The first few lessons were about making different types of gooey messes, but it did help to teach the precision required for measuring ingredients. Watching the little tongue poking out in concentration, Draco couldn't deny he was rather proud.

"_Hello! Draco? Harry?_"

Draco froze at the sound of Hermione's voice. When they had spoken on boxing day about brewing Polyjuice, she had asked if he minded her popping in to help with the brewing. He'd said 'no' but hadn't anticipated her returning so soon. The door to the cellar opened and Draco tried his best not to grimace.

Weasley was here too.

"I … uh … hadn't expected you to come back so soon," he managed to say.

Hermione looked a little sheepish as she came down into the cellar. Weasley glanced around, barely containing the discomfort he felt, as he followed his girlfriend down. Even still, he towered over all of them. Hermione broke the silence with a forced cheery voice, "I hope we haven't interrupted anything, but I haven't been able to think about anything at all since we had the idea."

Weasley rolled his eyes and Draco had to suppress the urge to do the same.

"I've prepped two cauldrons to make some batches, that should be enough to start out with," he said, absently gesturing to the two cauldrons on the other side of the room. "I just wanted to finish this experiment with Harry."

"Oh yes! Sirius mentioned you got him a potions kit," she came over to the counter Harry was perched on. "How is it, Harry? Are you having fun?"

"Yah!" he grinned, "We already made the purple goo! This one's hard though …" he frowned down at the small vials clutched in his hands.

"Isn't he a bit young for that?" Weasley frowned, finally braving the distance and glancing into the boxed-up pieces of the kit. "Oh, I remember this! Mum got this for me when I was eight! Didn't really like it though."

"Potion's isn't everyone's forte," Draco stated. "Harry did well in sixth year -I always wondered what would happen if he had a bit more guidance and less being-hunted-by-a-madman."

Weasley snorted. "Harry's hated potions since day one!"

"Because of Snape," Draco retorted. "I did well in potions, and I respected the man …" he trailed off, the lump in his throat swelling even bigger. He pushed against it. "We tend to fail in the subjects we have bad experiences with."

"You know he cheated right?"

"What?" he snapped his head to look at Harry, who was watching them all with wide, uncomprehending eyes. "When? How?"

"Sixth year," Weasley said. "He had Snape's old potions book. Was covered in notes from when he was at school. That's how Harry got so good at potions."

"The one time Snape managed to teach him something, and not only is it through a bloody book that I DIDN'T GET, but also the same year he doesn't even HAVE Snape as a teacher!"

Draco's frustration seemed to let Weasley loosen up enough that he leaned against the countertop and peered into Harry's children-sized cauldron. Draco gave a frustrated sigh and smoothed his hair back into place. He caught Hermione glancing at his open notebooks and resisted the urge to slam the books shut.

"How have things been?" he forced himself to ask, keeping his eyes focused on Harry. "At the Burrow?"

Hermione hummed and shrugged, "As good as it can be, I suppose. Things blew up a little when we found out that Ginny had stopped going to see the grief councillor at school."

Draco winced. "Ah … I hadn't realised she was seeing one."

"Most of the students do," Weasley said. "It's not mandatory of course, but given what happened last year …"

"And your sister stopped going? Just like that?"

"Apparently so."

"Do you see a therapist, Draco?" Hermione asked.

"I … yes. Yes, I do. She's helped, I think. She keeps pushing me to talk about the war and it's just -there's no good that can come of it. Not right now, anyway."

"But Draco surely you're in a better mindset to try and deal with those things now?" Hermione frowned.

"I don't believe so," he replied tartly. "It'll happen when it happens, on my terms and no one else's. I've been dealing with things a little at a time and that's the pace I'm most comfortable right now."

Weasley exchanged a look with Hermione. Whatever silent conversation they were having, seemed to come to a mutual agreement. "Would you be able to give me the name of that therapist?" he asked. "For Ginny? Maybe she just doesn't like the one at school, I don't know." He shrugged helplessly, and Draco found himself nodding.

"Of course. Just remind me before you leave."

The atmosphere turned somewhat stifling. Draco unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and rolled up his sleeves like he was want to do when brewing potions. "Okay, I think that's enough for today Harry," he said cheerfully as he ruffled the child's black hair. Harry pouted but nodded. "Now, who do you want to write the label, me or you?"

"You," Harry grinned. "Your handwriting is nicer than mine."

Draco chuckled, "Alright, now you remember how to pour it into the bottle, like I showed you?"

"Y-e-e-e-s Draco."

"Good boy."

As soon as Harry presented Draco with a decently stoppered vial of the goo, Draco stuck the label on and then lifted Harry off the counter. "Are you okay to go up to your room and read for a little while? I need to talk to your friends for a bit."

Harry glanced up at all three of them before shrugging, "Okay. Can I do some colouring in?"

"Only if you pack the pencils away properly," Draco cautioned as Harry hurried out of the cellar.

"I will!" he shouted.

As soon as the kitchen door slammed shut, Draco turned to Hermione and Weasley with a sigh. "Okay, let's get as much done now so we can let the potion sit. If we do everything right, you two should be able to Polyjuice as Harry by the end of January."

~0~

New Years Eve was a loud enough affair. With an invitation extended to any of the Weasley's that wanted to come, Grimmauld place was soon alive with lights, laughter, and a lot of Molly's cooking. Everyone had turned up, although a few of the Weasley children decided to sit in a corner and were talking quietly amongst themselves.

Sirius had dropped Teddy off at Andromeda's who insisted she didn't want to be around all those people and the noise and music -she was much happier to have a quiet evening in with her grandson. She had stayed for a cup of tea before everyone had arrived and left before 7PM.

He was glad to see that Draco was very amicably talking with Ron and Hermione, he'd never thought he'd see that day. As drinks were poured and levity took hold of enough of them to banish the grey cloud hovering over them, the party got underway.

Harry was dressed in his smartest outfit, complete with a teeny bow-tie. He looked like a very dapper young man. Sirius noticed how, even when he was pulled to and fro by the Weasleys, Harry would eventually wonder over to Draco or to Sirius for the attention he preferred. Sirius found himself walking and joking around for about an hour, with Harry resting happily on his hip.

Settling Harry down in the sofa area with a plate of food and cup of juice, Sirius pressed a kiss to his cheek and said quietly, "Now if you get too tired, just come and let me know, okay?"

"Okay Daddy," Harry beamed up at him, already stuffing a sausage roll into his mouth. Sirius chuckled and ruffled his hair before straightening back up.

"Look after him okay?" he shot a warning look at the Weasley's currently seated on the sofa. Ginny, George, and Fleur nodded sagely. With a barely suppressed huff, Sirius turned to scan the room.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Someone had found the muggle game of 'Twister' and were trying to decipher the rules and whether they had to play entirely without magic. It was going to be a fun night, by all accounts.

His eyes wondered over the small mass of faces until they landed on Remus. His breath hitched at the sight of the other man, dressed in a rather worn out blazer and was deep in conversation with Arthur Weasley and his son, Bill. His present from Sirius still sat under the glittering Christmas Tree. He hadn't worked up the nerve to give it to the taller man yet and Sirius doubted if he ever would.

There was a 'thud' and a series of laughs as Percy, his girlfriend and Charlie Weasley collapsed on the floor laughing. Twister, at least, seemed to be a party favourite.

"Okay, who's up next?" Charlie asked loudly, his face flushed. A few amused faces glances at him but one volunteered. "Oh, come on! It's fun, honest!"

"We will!" Hermione volunteered, her face splitting into a grin as she grabbed both Ron and Draco by their jumpers and tugged them over in the direction of the polka dot mat.

"I don't think so, Granger," Draco struggled to wrestle away from her grip.

"Hermione you know I'm rubbish at these muggle games!"

"Oh, don't be silly Ronald!" she chided. "It's putting your hands and feet on coloured spots! It's not that hard."

Draco shot Sirius a pleading look as he was dragged across the room. Sirius raised his glass in a mocking toast to his cousin, as Hermione asked Charlie to spin for them. Letting his eyes circle the room again, Sirius tried his best not to look over at Remus, but he knew he was failing miserably. They had been arguing a lot lately and hadn't always been so quick to throw up a silencing charm. He knew Draco had gotten wind of the argument, at least, and he was grateful for his cousin for sufficiently distracting Harry during those times.

Harry had grown up with the Dursley's; he didn't need more childhood trauma piled on top of it.

A loud squeal made his head snap around, his muscles tense as he reached for his wand.

It took a moment for him to realise that what he was seeing was a _good_ thing; George was standing in front of the sofa, with Harry dangling from his arm, his small arms barely reaching the floor before George whipped him right side up, and then drooped him down again. It wasn't just that though, why everyone was staring.

George was laughing.

It had been a long time since Sirius had heard that iconic laughter and, judging from the tears in Molly's eyes, he'd bet that no one had heard that sound since before the war. Sirius felt something warm and thick rush through him, tears coming to his own eyes. He felt proud that, somehow, Harry had reached into the darkness of George's mind and plucked him out of his own despair if only for a few moments.

Was this how James had felt when Harry had flown his first circuit on a broom in the living room?

Was this how Lily had felt when Harry had first called her 'mummy'?

A warm hand looped around his waist. He was stunned when he was pulled back against a warm, firm body. "One day you'll believe you're an amazing father," Remus murmured in his ear. Since when had he been able to take Sirius by surprise?

"Oh yeah?" he huffed. "That'll be the same day you believe I love you."

A sigh tickled the back of his neck. "Pads let's not do this here." A tug on the back of his jumper made him close his eyes and clench his jaw. "Come, I want to show you something."

Sirius reluctantly allowed himself to be backed away from the festivities. He cast one last look at Harry's pink cheeks and Draco in a compromising position underneath Ron's lanky frame, before following Remus into the hallway. As soon as the door closed, they were enveloped by the heavy, dark silence. Remus began making his way up the stairs, so Sirius was left no choice but to follow. They made it up to the second landing, before Remus walked into the bedroom they'd been sharing and waited for Sirius to follow.

The floating orbs shone to life, casting a mellow glow around the room. On the bed was a familiar present; the one Sirius had bought for Remus and left under the tree because he was too big a coward.

"I was wondering when you were going to give this to me," Remus said as he picked the present up, stroking the wrapping paper with his thumb. "I finally ran out of patience."

"So, open it," Sirius shrugged.

Remus pressed his lips together but obliged, neatly prying the paper away and revealing the smooth box inside. Popping the lid open, he gasped; inside on a blue velvet cushion shone a beautiful white-gold pocket watch with a slim chain. The face was a glossy midnight blue, almost black, and instead of numbers, there were different phases of the lunar cycle etched in moonstone.

"Sirius," Remus breathed. "This is so … How did you … I just … this is so beautiful."

Sirius inclined his head, "I saw it and I thought of you. I couldn't resist."

Remus stared between the man before him and the iridescent watch in his hands. "I don't think I've ever seen something so beautiful."

"This one is a special pocket-watch though," Sirius couldn't resist a brag. "When there's an eclipse, the face turns pitch black only the hands are visible. When there's a blood moon, the lunar cycle glows red."

"Do I even want to know how much this cost you?"

Sirius shook his head. "Think of it as a belated gift."

"For what occasion?"

"All the ones I missed while I was in Azkaban or when I was dead."

"When you were dead …" Remus breathed, his eyes staring at the watch without really seeing it.

Taking a breath, Sirius crossed the distance between them and placed his hands on Remus' shoulders. Amber eyes focused on him. "I'm here now Remus. That's what matters."

Something lit up in Remus' eyes. He set the box on the edge of the bed and, before Sirius knew it, the man's lips were on his own. He took him a moment for his brain to catch up, but then he was kissing Remus back, the fierce, pent-up energy rushing forward as he wrapped his arms tightly around the taller man, his nails digging into the layers of wool and savouring the gentle scratch of stubble against his cheek.

Remus cupped Sirius' jaw, one hand sliding up and into his thick, dark hair and clutching enough to make the older man hiss into the kiss, his lips parting enough for Remus to slide his tongue inside, tightening his old on Sirius.

Pulling away, their lips still touching lightly, Remus swallowed thickly. He shook his head; words were escaping him as he savoured the taste of Sirius. "I … I don't want to lose you again," he breathed.

Sirius smirked, "Like you could get rid of me that easily."

"I've lost so much …"

"So have I."

"I'm not strong enough. Or brave."

"You're the strongest man I know, Remus Lupin." Taking a risk, Sirius leaned up and brushed his lips of Remus' jaw and pressed a kiss near his ear. "The war is over. It's time to find something to be happy about. You _deserve_ to be happy."

"So, do you …"

"Then stay."

"You make everything sound so easy," he shook his head.

"It won't be easy," Sirius conceded. "I won't push for more than you're comfortable with. I just want you to stay. I want to see where we could end up. I want us to be happy. To be a family."

"What if I screw up?"

"Then I'll make you some hot chocolate, watch whatever movie you like, and do whatever I physically can to make you see that mistakes happen and that's okay."

Remus felt every defence inside tremble and crack at the cadence of Sirius' voice. It couldn't be that easy to be happy, after everything, was it? With Dora gone … was it okay for him to be happy? To go to bed with a smile on his face?

Looking down into those bright grey eyes, Remus felt his breath hitch. Sirius entwined their fingers together and squeezed. "Come on. Let's go and join the party." He gave a gentle tug as he moved towards the door. A part of him wanted to kiss some more, but he could see that the cogs in his companion's brain were turning so fast smoke was bound to come out of his ears.

"Yes … the party … right."

Letting Sirius tug him back down the stairs, Remus tried to calm his nerves. As soon as he entered the lounge he felt as though every pair of eyes were on them, as if they could sense that he had kissed Sirius. He felt his cheeks grow warm. He resumed sitting in an armchair and did his best to focus on the game of Twister. George seemed fairly lively compared to how he'd arrived; he had Harry planted on his hip and he was giving George and running commentary of all his favourite books and TV shows.

George was smiling and laughing, listening to Harry with rapt attention.

Maybe it would be okay? Maybe being happy wasn't the worst thing in the world for him?

"Okay that's it, this time I'M the one doing the spinning!" came Draco's haughty voice as he untangled himself from underneath Charlie and Ron. His blonde hair was mussed, and his cheeks were pink.

And so the party continued; the adults drank very generous glasses of alcohol poured by Sirius, who seemed in a much better mood, George was more than happy to be in Harry's company and even gladly challenged the child in several games of Exploding Snap, and anyone who was brave enough decided to have a go at Twister.

.

Harry was tuckered out by 11 o'clock and so Draco offered to put him to bed. When the blonde didn't return ten minutes later, Sirius hurried up the stairs to check on him. When he opened Harry's bedroom door, he felt his heart melt at the sight of Draco curled up on his side on top of the covers, with Harry cuddled up under his arm, the duvet pulled up to his chin. Quietly as he could, Sirius took a throw blanket from the end of the bed and gently draped it over the sleeping blonde. Leaning over, he pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's forehead.

Within the next hour Harry would start to fidget as the aging process resumed yet again.

Draco stirred and looked up just as Sirius was about to leave. "Sirius?" he hissed. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Are you … Do you want me to stay here with you?"

"No, you take care of him all the time. Go enjoy yourself. I'll be alright."

"Are you sure?" Sirius faltered for a moment. "Okay. Call me if you need anything, yeah?"

"Of course," Draco smiled tiredly, before dropping his head back onto the pillow.

Sirius smiled before slipping out of the room, casting an alarm on the ward should anything go wrong, before returning to the party downstairs. Midnight came with no alerts from upstairs, and by the time the last person left on the Knight Bus, Sirius could barely keep his eyes open. Staggering up the stairs, he barely managed to strip out of his clothes before falling into bed. He didn't object when he felt a warm, bare chest pressing up against his back, nor the strong arms wrapping around his waist. For the first time in weeks he drifted to sleep with a huge grin on his face.

* * *

**A/N: Well that's the shortest update this story has had for a while. Apologies for the long wait. Be prepared that there will be a minute time jump in the next chapter. **

**B x**


	25. Chapter 24: Jan & Feb

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**Author's Note: I am very sorry for the lateness of this update. My health issues still haven't gotten sorted (or answers) and to that one prick who said I had got an STD; do you even know how they work? Why not use the internet to research it, you troll. Other said trolls and flamers will be reported and / or deleted.**

**I hope you guys enjoy the update!**

**B x**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

.

.

**_~January~_**

The first month of the year disappeared in a flash of muggle shops having brightly coloured sales to get rid of any of the rubbish that hadn't sold before Christmas. Lessons were back in session and Draco begrudgingly pocketed his wand each week when he went in for the weekly handing-in of assignments. McGonagall had spoken to him at the end of the first week assuring him that he could easily use after of the empty classrooms to practice his wand work. He assured her that he kept it in mind, yet never took advantage of it.

Despite the threats of Remus leaving and staying at Andromeda's house, the teacher remained at Grimmauld place. Draco tried not to openly stare at the pair whenever Sirius let his hand linger on Remus' back a little longer than necessary, or that they sat especially close on the sofa when Harry was watching his cartoons after lunch.

Andromeda and Narcissa had kept to their promise and were exchanging letters back and forth. Things were terse at times, when one of them brought up a subject that the other didn't appreciate, however the open communication was cathartic to both women and Draco was pleased to note that the worry seemed to be easing from his mother's features when he fire-called her.

Harry had grown another inch. Sirius was so proud when he swiped another mark on the doorframe, earning a chuckle from Remus. The constant appointments for Harry's eyesight kept Sirius rather busy whenever it wasn't his week teaching. Draco couldn't help but wonder why Harry had never gotten his eyesight corrected after the war.

And so, Draco began researching through old medical tomes and reading the Malady Monthly pamphlet that often circulated in the Daily Prophet. He made a note of some recent medical journals available at Diagon Alley and asked if Remus could grab him a copy or two. He couldn't help but wonder how harmful or complex vision repair via potions was and needed to answer a few questions of his own.

.

As the month drew to a close the first batch of Polyjuice potion was ready.

It was on a cold, wet Saturday when they decided to try the first 'Harry Potter' sighting in Hogsmeade. True to his word, Sirius had gotten a bunch of Harry's old hair from a hairbrush and had bottled up the hairs into several phials so as to keep some in reserve. For the first sighting, Hermione was going to be 'Harry'.

The hairs fizzled and dissolved into the potion and she grimaced as the smell hit her nose. Holding her breath, she glanced between Draco and Ron before downing as much of the potion as she could muster. She choked and gagged.

"Merlin, it really is as bad as I remember!"

As the potion sank into her belly, her skin began to bubble as she felt her features contort. Blinking her eyes open she frowned at how blurred everything was. "Hand me his glasses," she grabbed aimlessly at the two blobs before her. Once on her nose, she sighed and glanced down at herself. "Did it work? Am I Harry?"

"Yes, it worked perfectly," Draco nodded appreciatively.

"Thank goodness."

"Now you just need to find some of Harry's old clothes, and you should be fine."

"It's so weird how long it's been since I've seen grown-up Harry," Ron commented. "It's gonna be awkward for the next hour at Hogsmeade."

"We only need to make an appearance," Hermione shrugged.

"Perhaps one of you should set an alarm for fifty minutes time?" Draco suggested. "You don't want to be caught changing in the middle of Zonko's."

"Let's hope there's enough people at Hogsmeade for this to work," Hermione muttered. Turning to Draco she smiled and squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you for helping us with this."

"Anytime," Draco said tightly. It was so strange to see adult Potter's face smiling up at him in such an endearing way. _'No_,' he shook his head as the pair turned to head up to Harry's room. '_Harry wouldn't look at me like we were friends. Not when he is grown up_.'

He heard the faint 'pop' of apparition in the hallway five minutes later.

To distract himself from the image of Harry smiling at him, Draco cleared up the cellar and then went up to his room to do his homework for the week. His hand itched for his wand to begin practising the spells, but his gut sank whenever the thought consciously crossed his mind. As he worked quietly, he couldn't help but wonder if this little stunt was going to be enough to convince people that Harry Potter was just fine and dandy and had been keeping a low profile for the last six months?

The following morning a photo of 'Harry Potter' and Ron Weasley laughing as they came out of the three broomsticks, was on the front page of the _Daily Prophet_. That morning at breakfast everyone congratulated Draco on a job well done.

.

.

**_~February~_**

.

It had been an incredibly long day.

All Draco wanted to do was have a hot bath and forget that his Auror escort had been less than useless at defending him against three stinging hexes. The git probably thought Draco deserved to be attacked on school premises. Suffice to say, McGonagall gave the sod an earful and stated that he would be reported to his superiors. As often as they didn't see eye-to-eye, Draco was grateful for this woman being the headmistress. If she was able to take four stunning spells to the chest and survive the rest of the war, then she could very easily take on a newbie Auror and his petty revenge.

Regardless of the days events, Draco just wanted the day to hurry up and end. Next week was Valentines day and he just didn't have the energy to deal with it.

As he slid into the hot water and tipped his head back against the rim of the bathtub, images of how Gilderoy Lockhart had decorated the castle throughout Valentines week was enough to nauseate him. Some of the traditions continued now after the war, and Draco had no desire to have a dwarf of a troll corner him and wax lyrical about how he should be dead or in prison with his father.

Pushing all those negative thoughts aside, he washed his hair and lie in the water until he could feel his fingers and toes pruning.

Drying himself with a towel, watching as the soap bubbles drained away, Draco felt a lot more at ease as he tied his bathrobe at the waist and dried his hair manually with the muggle hair-dryer. It left his hair looking especially silky and soft as he studied his reflection in the mirror.

A tentative knock on the door distracted him.

"Yes?"

"_Draco? Are you still having a bath?_" came Harry's voice through the door. It still took some getting used to, hearing Potter's voice without the harder edge to it.

"No, I've finished. Did you want to use the toilet?"

"Actually um … I w-was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me?"

With a sigh, Draco turned from the mirror, unlocked the door, and opened it. Harry stood there, his lanky frame looking a little more filled out. He was still only average height for his age, and barely reached Draco's elbows. "You came all the way up here to ask me if I want to watch a movie with you?"

Wringing his hands, Harry nodded sheepishly.

Draco grinned and stepped out of the bathroom. "Very well. Why don't you go and set it up while I get dressed?"

"No, that's okay. I'll wait for you." Without waiting for Draco to respond, the young brunette descended the two steps to the landing and made his way along the hall to Draco's door.

Draco cocked an eyebrow at the kid's arrogance but shook his head in amusement as he followed Harry through and into his bedroom. Harry hopped up onto the four-poster bed, his feet nowhere near touching the floor as his wide green eyes looked around the room as though it was the first time he'd seen it.

Draco busied himself with getting out some of his casual muggle clothes. It wasn't as though he had anywhere to go for the rest of the day. Glancing over his shoulder he was amused to see Harry watching him with rapt attention. "Close your eyes, Harry," he ordered.

Harry covered both his eyes with his hands. Draco waited for a moment, before getting dressed as quickly as possible.

"Okay, you can look now."

Harry grinned up at him as he hung his robe on the back of his door. "Your hair looks so soft!"

"Thank you."

"My hair is useless. It always sticks up everywhere."

"It always does that," Draco chuckled. "I'm not sure you could ever keep it brushed properly."

Harry cocked his head. "What does that mean?"

"Uh … nothing." Draco swallowed thickly. "So, have you and Sirius been practicing those spells?"

Harry nodded. "Oh yes it's so much fun! I even made his hair turn purple! It was wicked!"

"I hope you don't do that to me," Draco frowned comically. "I don't think I would suit purple hair."

"No, I wouldn't do that to you. Your hair is very nice and soft."

For some reason Draco felt his insides flush a little warmer. Brushing the thought aside, he gestured towards the door. "Shall we go and watch a movie before Sirius and Remus get home?"

Harry frowned. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Call my Daddy by his first name."

"Because … that's his name."

"Well he's 'daddy' to me."

"I … I'm aware." Draco looked down at the child for a moment before running a hand down the back of his neck. "Harry you are aware that Sirius … isn't your real dad, right?"

Harry clenched his jaw but nodded. "He's the only daddy I've got so it shouldn't matter what I call him."

"I know, Harry, I know," Draco placated, crossing the room and gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed beside the young boy. "It's just important to remember your other dad too. The one who's in Heaven with your mum."

Harry's shoulders slumped and he nodded. "I know he's up there and that he loves me. But … but he can't come back, can he?"

"No … No, he can't. I'm sorry Harry."

"It's okay. I don't remember them. But Siri-Sirius is my Daddy. He's alive and he takes care of me. That's what a daddy does."

"Yes, that's right. Everyone needs a daddy to take care of them."

"Where's your daddy, Draco?"

It was out of nowhere, like a slab of concrete colliding with his chest. The impact of those words crushed the air from his lungs and made it hard to speak. He felt the white noise beginning to buzz in his ears. He didn't want that to happen, not now, not in front of Harry.

"Draco?"

The voice cut through the buzzing and slowly the silence bloomed through his mind. Closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath Draco replied, "My Dad is in prison. Do you know what that means?"

"Yeah, that's where cat-burglars go and people who rob banks go," Harry bit his lip. "Did your Dad rob a bank?"

"Not exactly, but he was helping a very bad man do very bad things."

"Oh. So, the police arrested him."

"The auror's did, yes."

"Did they take away his magic?"

"Yes. Sort of. They do that with a lot of bad people."

"Is that why you don't really do magic? Did you do something bad as well?"

Draco hesitated for a moment, wetting his lips. "Not as bad as my dad, but yes. "He turned to look at Harry, waiting for his reaction. The kid looked deep in thought as he picked at a plaster on his knee. The kid really was accident-prone no matter how you looked at it.

"But you're not in prison …" Harry said slowly. "So, what you did wasn't that bad, right?"

"A lot of people would disagree. But yes, that's why I haven't been able to do magic until now."

Another sage little nod. "Draco?"

"Yes Harry?"

"You wouldn't do anything bad to me … would you?"

"No of course not!" Draco hadn't meant the words to come out as harsh as they did. He needed Harry to understand how much he _had_ changed. "Harry, I promise I will never do anything bad to you."

"Pinkie promise?"

"I … what's that?"

Harry rolled his eyes before taking his pinkie and hooking it through Draco's. He bounced their hands together, fingers linked and grinned. "There! You pinkie promised, so now you can't take it back!"

Draco gave a small smile, "I am serious Harry. I don't want to be the reason anything bad happens to you."

"Then that's okay," Harry shrugged and smiled. His cheeks were a little pink as he gazed up at Draco. "You're a good guy, Draco. Good guys shouldn't go to prison for no reason."

"I wish it was that simple Harry," Draco sighed. How had their conversation gotten so heavy? Shaking the dark thoughts from his mind, he gave Harry's shoulder a squeeze. "Come on, let's go watch a movie before your Dad gets home."

Harry slid off the bed and followed Draco closely as they went downstairs to the lounge.

.

~0~

.

Sirius almost sighed with relief as the bell rang out for the end of the day. As soon as the classroom door slammed shut, he sank into his chair with relief. He loathed fifth years; he had a newfound sympathy for McGonagall having to deal with his and his mates bullshit for seven long years. Groaning he swept his curls out of his eyes, grabbed the stack of homework he had to mark over the weekend, and hurried up the stone steps to the office.

Clutching his briefcase with the homework and class-notes he'd written up on his lunch hour, he threw a pinch of floo powder into the fireplace and announced his address before stepping into the green flames.

"DADDY!"

A harry-shaped ball of energy launched against his abdomen, the bespectacled boy burrowing his face into Sirius' robes. Chuckling, Sirius set down his briefcase, picked Harry up and squeezed his tightly. He smelled of something sugary and minty. Setting the child down, Sirius winced as his muscles protested.

"You'll have to watch out for that, pup. You're getting too big to lift up."

Harry's face fell. "Oh …" was all he said as he rubbed awkwardly at his forearms.

Sirius mentally kicked himself. Raking a hand through the black hair, Sirius looked into Harry's eyes. "Now, now, don't pull out the puppy-dog eyes. I invented that look."

Harry pouted and didn't protest when Sirius bent down to hug him again.

"So, what did you get up to today?" he asked as he went to the fridge to get them both some juice.

"Nothing much," Harry shrugged, taking a seat at the table. He beamed as Sirius set a plate of chocolate biscuits on the table between them. "Draco said he was studying and Moony looked sad so I went to sit with him for a little while."

"Oh? Why was Moony sad?"

"He said that Teddy is going to be one soon, and that it's not fair that Teddy's mummy isn't around." Harry took a large gulp of juice before wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. "I asked where Teddy's mummy was and if she was in Heaven with my mummy."

"And what did Re-er-Moony say about that?"

"He said that yes, Teddy's mummy is in Heaven, so I said that's not so bad because she can be friends with my mummy and daddy and then she won't be alone or sad like Moony gets sometimes."

"Ahh, I see," Sirius felt his heart drop into his stomach. "Did you do anything else?"

"Not really," Harry frowned as he nibbled on a biscuit. "Draco came down and played lego's with me for a while, but he didn't build the castle right because he never had lego's! Can you imagine anyone who hasn't had lego's?"

"Wizards don't have lego's, love."

"Oooooh," Harry's eyes went wide. "Is that why Moony is sad? Did he not have lego's either?"

"No, Harry, Moony is sad because he has very bad luck sometimes."

"Really? Like how?"

"Well when he was young, he was bitten by a werewolf. Do you know what that means?"

"Yeah!" Harry gushed. "It means when the moon comes up, he turns into a wolf and howls all night long."

Sirius smiled, "Yes, love. That's why I can turn into a dog. So, I can keep him company, so he doesn't feel lonely."

Harry giggle. "When I grow up can you teach me to turn into a dog?"

"I don't know if you can turn into a dog," Sirius placated. "But yes, I can teach you all sorts of things when you're older."

"That would be good. Aunt Petunia says that as soon as I'm tall enough to see over the stove, she'll teach me how to make breakfast."

The words had slipped out so easily that it took Sirius a moment to register what had been said. Harry's small body had tensed up and his jaw was clenched tightly. Slowly, those bright green eyes looked up too look at Sirius.

"You're not going to send me back there because I'm not tall enough to cook, are you?" he asked in a meek voice. "I'll be tall enough soon!"

"No, love," Sirius cupped the child's small face in his hands. He could feel Harry's small muscles trembling. "It's the adult's job to cook all the meals. The children only have to worry about what's for dessert."

A stray tear raced down Harry's cheeks and Sirius brushed it away with the pad of his thumb. "I'm scared …" Harry mumbled.

"Oh love, what about?"

Harry scrunched his face up, cuffing another tear away. Sirius lifted the child up onto his lap, supporting Harry in his arm. Harry wriggled a little to get comfortable before leaning sideways against Sirius' chest.

"I just … I don't want anyone to shout at me," Harry mumbled, his face bent toward his chest.

Sirius fought back the anger that bubbled in his blood. He took deep breaths through his nose while he rubbed Harry soothingly on the back. "No one here shouts at you, Harry. Not unless you've done something wrong."

"I just want to help."

"And you can," Sirius reassured. "When you're a little bit older, then you can help. For now, I just want you to have fun, okay? Enjoy playing games and watching cartoons and playing with your toys. You have the rest of your life to be an adult."

Harry hummed but didn't seem as easily placated as he would have been a few months ago. Sirius tried not to show his own anxiety about Harry's troubled childhood creeping to the surface. It plagued his mind whenever Harry brought something up that resonated with his time at the Dursley's. Sirius really needed to go and have a word with those damned muggles.

"Will you still help me turn into an animal like you?" Harry mumbled, his green eyes wide and fearful behind his glasses. "Even if I can't help cook?"

Sirius laughed, the relief rushing out of him and plastered a dopey grin on his face. "Absolutely, I would love to teach you that."

"Oh, what are you going to teach him?" Draco asked, pushing the kitchen door open and stepping down onto the tiles.

"Daddy says when I get older, he can help me turn into an animal like him!" Harry chirruped, his bad mood seeming to vanish the moment Draco spoke.

Draco's mouth quirked up at the corner. "That sounds fun to watch."

Sirius smirked, "Would you like to try, Draco?"

"No thanks, knowing my luck I'll turn into a ferret. I don't need to go through _that_ again."

Sirius chuckled as he set Harry back down on his own two feet. "Right you two. I'm going to see what Moony's up to. Have a think about what you fancy for dinner, okay?"

Both boys agreed. Sirius ruffled Harry's hair and clapped Draco on the shoulder before stepping up and out of the kitchen. He took the stairs two at a time and looked through a few rooms before he found Remus lounging on the sofa in their office. He grinned upon seeing the lycan stretched out, an arm bent back over his head and his eyes flickered over the words on the book in his hands. He only looked up when Sirius closed the door.

"Hey Pads, how was it today?"

Sirius rolled his eyes as he crossed the room and lifted Remus' legs. He sat down on the sofa and laid the man's legs across his own. Remus rested the book against his chest and cocked an eyebrow.

"Well? Either it was dreadful, and you don't want to talk about it, or it was good in which case why _aren't_ you talking about it?"

Sirius smiled and shook his head, a thoughtful look in his grey eyes. "It's still just … surreal."

"What is?"

"This. Coming home to you. Sitting down next to you reading a book, your feet in my lap. The boys downstairs debating on dinner," he let out a little laugh. "I just … I feel like I don't deserve this."

"Isn't that supposed to be my line?" Remus quipped. Leaning up a little, he ran a hand through Sirius' curls. "If it makes you feel any better, I can't exactly believe this is all really happening either. I'm worried it will backfire but … I'm willing to do whatever I can to ensure that doesn't happen."

"It's silly how relieved I am to hear you say that," Sirius tipped his head onto the back of the sofa and let out a huge sigh. "I've been thinking."

"Always a sign of trouble."

Sirius smacked Remus' legs, "I'm trying to say something, Moony!"

"My apologies," Remus grinned. "Do continue."

"I was thinking that maybe we should put in a little more time into helping Draco rehabilitated into using his magic."

"Do you not think he's been practising?" Remus frowned.

"I'd like to believe he is," Sirius shrugged. "That doesn't mean he does it often. Who's to say he's even practised at all?"

Remus placed his bookmark between the pages of his book and set it aside on the coffee table. "Draco is easily put-off by these things since his trial. I don't think it would hurt us in paying him a little more attention, academically. Maybe we could bring him along to our Friday lessons? Get him used to performing magic on command."

"Or we can teach him some things he has an interest in, here?" Sirius hummed. "Do you think he's able to cast a patronus?"

"I doubt it. He's not had the happiest of lives."

"Harry managed quite well," Sirius quirked a grin. "I'm just saying that it's an option. Then by the time Harry is old enough to use his wand again, we can help them both outside of lessons."

Remus grimaced as the thought of all those extra hours on his feet and 'teaching' when it was meant to be their time-off. "Let's not overwork the boy. Let's start small and ask him to accompany us to our Friday lessons and go from there."

"You're a wise man, Professor Lupin," Sirius winked. He felt unbearably giddy when Remus blushed at the remark.

"Shut up, you soppy sod!"

Letting out a bark of laughter, Sirius shook his head. "Absolutely not! You'd miss my constant badgering!"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Not bloody likely, Black."

Sirius smirked at his tawny-haired companion. He reached out and skimmed his fingers through said hair, trying not to let his heart sink when Remus stiffened at the gesture. Clearing his throat, he said, "I hear Harry brought up Tonks today."

"Yes," Remus replied, his voice strained. "It's … It's strange to think that it's almost a year since she died."

Sirius pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Are you scared about Teddy turning one?"

"I suppose," Remus sighed, rubbing his hand over his tired face. "I feel like I'm not here for any of the milestones. He crawled for you, he babbles for you, with me he just sleeps."

"I'm pretty sure he was trying to crawl _away_ from me."

Remus tried to smile but it didn't quite follow through.

"He sleeps with you because that's where he feels the safest," Sirius gave a shrug. "He's still a baby and this has been a volatile time for all of us."

"Volatile?" Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Have you been having tea with Minerva again?"

Sirius feigned a hurt expression. "I'll have you know; I can use big words when I feel the need to."

"Which is never!"

Rolling his eyes, Sirius shoved Remus' shoulder. They sobered up fairly quickly. "I know it's going to be a rough couple of months for you. You know I'm here if you want to talk, right?"

Remus nodded. "I do know," he leaned back in the sofa, his arm brushing against Sirius. Neither man moved away.

Looping an arm around the taller man's shoulders, Sirius hugged him close and hesitated a moment before threading his fingers through the thick, greying locks. "Oh Moony, when will you learn you cannot conquer the world?"

"Eh, seems worth the fight," Remus shrugged awkwardly, relaxing into the soft touch. He could already feel his eyelids getting heavy. Sirius hummed, his fingers working their magic. Drawing in a deep breath, Remus pushed himself upright and rubbed some life back into his face. "Come on, let's tend to our boys. Can't leave Draco with Harry and Teddy all evening."

He stood up and stretched but frowned when he realised Sirius wasn't doing the same.

"What?"

"You just called them 'our boys'," Sirius teased, though the gleam in his grey eyes belied his warring emotions.

Remus scoffed and rolled his eyes but couldn't help the smile that crept onto his lips. Helping Sirius to his feet, the two men descended to the lower level of Grimmauld Place to make sure that Draco wasn't tied to a chair with Harry chanting the 'pirate song'.

* * *

**A/N: Please leave some lovely reviews!**

**B x**


	26. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer: I do not own any characters created by J.K. Rowling.**

**Author's Note: ****I hope you guys enjoy the update! Also, please bare in mind that this story is a bit of a mixture of scenes in the movie, as well as actual segments from the book, so lets not get hissy about what bits were 'real' or 'not real'. It's a mixture.**

**Update: All I know is that my pain is a neurological problem. I'm hoping it's just a cluster of nerves getting tweaked the wrong way. Fingers crossed an MRI comes through soon :(**

**B x**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

.

.

"It's not going to work."

"You don't know that until we try."

"For the last time, I said 'no'."

"Frankly, I don't really need your permission."

"You need me to hold the door open for you though."

"You're a snarky little sod, you know that?"

"I guess it's a family trait."

"Don't kid yourself, kid."

"I'm not a kid! I'm taller than you!"

"Shut your face, _everyone_ is taller than me!"

"What the hell is going on in here?" Remus growled, the deep sound echoing in the kitchen. The scene that greeted him was Draco and Sirius both leaning over the kitchen table; Draco's cheeks were pinking a little while Sirius looked almost unflustered in his loose muggle pyjamas.

Both men shut up the moment he appeared in the doorway.

Neither answered him.

"Well?" he snapped.

"Sirius wants to eavesdrop on my therapy session this afternoon and I told him no."

"How would you eavesdrop? Doesn't she sound-proof the door for privacy?"

Sirius scoffed and rolled his eyes, "I was planning on going as padfoot. Draco can claim I'm a therapy-dog."

Remus rubbed at his eyes. They were so sore. Teddy was starting to teeth and his constant fussing meant that Remus was up all hours of the night trying to soothe his son to go back to sleep for a few more fitful hours. It didn't help that there was a full moon on Saturday night. He could feel it itching all over his skin.

"Sirius why on earth do you think that would work?" he asked as he settled Teddy into his highchair.

"Give me one good reason why it wouldn't?"

"Because we're not teenagers and this is highly risky."

Sirius looked affronted as Remus turned his back to them and started preparing Teddy's breakfast, idly flicking his wand at the kettle so he could make a mug of black coffee.

"Are you for real?" he snapped. "It's been months and any improvement Draco has had, hasn't been thanks to this woman! I just want to make sure that he's getting the help he deserves!"

"Excuse me, I'm standing right here!"

"Sirius, she is a professional," Remus replied in a tight voice as he buttered a slice of toast. "Let her do her job. Besides, it's your week teaching. You cannot take the afternoon off and loiter around outside waiting for Draco."

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but Remus help up his hand to silence the man behind him.

"Don't even think about arguing with me, Black, or I'll rip that moustache right off your face."

Draco's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. The remark had been so scathing, so biting he physically felt their sharpness jabbing into his chest. When he glanced back at his cousin, he couldn't hide his amazement that the man took a moment to glower at the back of Remus' head, but soon his entire persona softened into something resembling a human being.

"You're right," Sirius conceded, a muscle in his jaw ticking. "I'll go get myself ready."

With a sweep of his velvet robes, he was out of the kitchen, his feet padding up the staircase. Sitting back down, Draco frowned over at Remus, his eyes moving to the calendar hanging up just to the right of his shoulder.

_Oh._

Realisation dawned on him; it was a full moon this week. At least his dear cousin knew when to lose a battle with _some_ dignity left.

Remus continued to make himself something to eat, taking deep, measured breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth. He needed to calm himself. Teddy had already been dropped off to Andromeda's the previous morning, so that he was kept away from the business that surrounded the full-moon. He came to sit at the kitchen table, opposite Draco.

"I always feel like shit whenever I snap at him," he sighed, raking a hand through his messy hair. "I know he only wants what's best for you. He just always goes to the most extreme solution."

Draco offered a small smile. "Honestly, I appreciate that he wants to look out for me. I just … I honestly don't know that Dr. Lisa is doing much for me."

"At all?"

Shrugging, Draco said, "Yeah I've eased into living with you guys and come to terms with a few other things but … talking about the war? I just don't need to relive it. Not right now. I just want to try and graduate from school before anything else."

Remus nodding in understanding. "I get it. You're finally free of that bastard, you should be allowed to choose what you want to deal with for the time being. Merlin, knows you've had enough people dictating what you do, think and say for long enough."

Draco hummed in agreement.

"I'm so glad I don't have to go into work this week," Remus continued. "I loathe Valentine's day."

"Oh? Why is that?"

Sharp amber eyes snapped open. "You never had to deal with James sodding Potter bemoaning his love for Lily and waxing lyric about the shade of her lips. It was nauseating!"

Draco was suddenly assaulted with the image of a dwarf tackling a twelve-year-old Harry in the hallways and singing the most grotesquely barbaric poem to him in front of all the student body. He cringed. "Yeah, I have a feeling I know what you mean."

"Do you want me to come to your appointment with you?"

Draco frowned, "I … don't really know. Why would you want to come?"

Remus frowned, "I just thought I'd ask. Otherwise it's just me and Harry for the afternoon."

"What's the matter, Lupin?" Draco grinned. "Can't handle an eight-year-old?"

"I handled Sirius Black for half of my life," Remus grinned back. "I can handle Harry blindfolded."

Both men continued to eat their meals in a comfortable silence. Said silence was shattered when Sirius came trotting down the stairs dressed in his pressed pinstriped robes whilst adjusting the clasp at the front. "I'm very tempted to ask Minerva do promote inclusivity by having Muggle Mondays at work," he grunted as he pinched his finger on the ornate clasp. "I hate wearing robes."

"You know the robes are a suggestion, not mandatory," Remus called out.

"Would you rather I go to work in my dressing gown?" Sirius shot back.

"Forget I said anything."

Sirius gave up on the clasp and raked a hand through his hair. "I should be back around five tonight, unless I give that Tippet brat a detention."

Remus rolled his eyes and pushed himself to his feet. It took just that little bit more energy to do so, Draco noted, as the tawny haired man hopped up the steps and stood in front of Sirius. Towering over the older man, Remus took the clasp in hand and swiftly latched it into place. "There, now you actually look decent."

Sirius scoffed before reaching for Remus' hand and giving it a squeeze. "I'll try not to be late."

"Off with you," Remus made a shooing gesture with his hands, his cheeks flushing the faintest shade of pink. "Better now be late! You'll set a bad example."

"Then they really shouldn't have hired me!" Sirius called back.

The roar of the floo resounded from the lounge and then the house settled back into its peaceful state. It lasted for all of ten minutes before a series of soft thuds was heard from upstairs. Harry was awake.

"Let the day begin," Remus grumbled stepping back down into the kitchen and flicking his wand at the kettle.

.

~0~

.

The plant always moved.

He had been coming to see Dr. Lisa for the better part of a year now and he knew the office set-up like the back of his hand. The cream walls always seemed as though the sun was lighting them up, the shelves and windowsills were bright white and always dust free, and the oak floorboards were always freshly waxed and shining. The certificates were framed behind her on the wall, and the plush sofa he always sat on looked fresh and unused whenever he sat upon it.

All except for the sodding potted plant; it was never in the same place twice.

Shooting a glare at said plant, Draco closed the door behind him and settled onto the pristine sofa, like he usually did. Auror Buxley was sat in the waiting room just beyond the door. Remus was at home with Harry working on some rudimentary magic incantations for children. A luxury Harry had never had, growing up with muggles.

Dr. Lisa greeted him from her chair opposite the sofa as she always did, her quill and notepad in hand and her hair swept up into an elegant bun at the nape of her neck. "Good morning Draco," she smiled. "How has your week been? Would you like a cup of tea?"

"Yes please," he learned early on that saying yes to a cup of tea, was a code that his week had been a good one. Accepting the cup from where it levitated over in front of him, he took a sip and let it warm him. "My week has been good. I haven't had any nightmares for almost a month now."

"That's definitely progress," she smiled gently. "How have things been with Harry aging?"

"He's been fine. We cope with the change as much as we can, and he settles down reasonably quickly within the first day or two of the month."

"And how are your homework assignments going?"

"My professors seem to like where my grades are at the moment, and are waiting for me to give the go ahead to start practicing with my wand again."

"I see," she made a note on the notepad. "Have you been practicing with your wand? I understand you've had it for two months now?"

Draco nodded, "I have."

"And the practicing?" she pushed.

"I've done a few spells here and there," he replied, his jaw tensing. He took a sip of tea, willing it to calm him.

"Are your guardians helping you to study?"

"They've … offered."

"And you've not taken advantage?"

Draco shrugged stiffly. "They already do so much for me. The least they deserve after a full week working with snotty teenagers, is to not deal with another one when they get home."

"Admirable as it is that you're giving them some breathing space, but I don't think they would have offered if they didn't mean for you to take some advantage of it," Dr. Lisa countered, her lip twitching up at the corner as her quill scribbled across the notepad.

Draco set the cup of tea down on the coffee table between them. He was beginning to get that prickly feeling at the base of his skull that he wanted to walk away from the session. He drew in a deep breath, trying not to draw her shrewd gaze to him as he scrubbed his palms down over his thighs.

"I just don't really want bother them right now. They have Harry and Teddy and work. I can take care of myself."

"Very much like you did during the final battle?"

Damn, she went there.

Again.

It was like a cut to the jugular.

Closing his eyes, he ground his back teeth together and levelled his gaze at her. "I'm not going to talk about that."

"Draco, you'll need to open up about this at some point. The more you push against it, the more you will suffer from it."

"Then I will deal with it when it becomes a problem."

"Draco, look at me."

He dragged his eyes up to her face yet again. She was pretty in a minimalistic, pristine sort of way. The glint in her eye was what unnerved him. She set the notepad down, the quill bouncing between her fingers as though she were just waiting for his mouth to open again.

"You cannot continue to repress these memories. What your parents did to you in your time of need is abhorrent." She set the quill down at last. He was close to snapping the thing in half. He felt an ugly flush creeping through him. His fingers were inching into fists in his lap. "They just left you there, in the middle of a battlefield and made no effort to show that they cared about their only child."

"I've had enough of this," he ground out, standing to his feet and sweeping his hair out of his eyes. "I am sick and tired of listening to you belittle my family. Consider this our last session." Turning away from her, he marched across the office and wrenched the door open.

"Draco, your family didn't love you, you need to accept this to improve your chances of a better future." She hadn't raised her voice, but her words were cutting enough to penetrate through the angry red haze that had flooded his brain.

Pressing his lips together, he swallowed his anger and slowly closed the door to the waiting room. It clicked into place, echoing in the heavy silence. "What did you just say about my parents?" he bit out.

"They are emotionally distant, and they warped your mind into believing that Voldemort was the way your family would come out on top."

Letting out a cold, agitated laugh, Draco shook his head and turned back to face Dr. Lisa. "You have literally no idea what you're talking about."

"Draco -"

"Oh, I think you've said enough. Especially considering you've been talking absolute skrewt-shite since I've started coming here." Sweeping the few stray hairs from his eyes yet again, he glowered down at his therapist. "During the battle of Hogwarts my family and I were second on Voldemort's target list. As soon as Potter was dead, we were going to be next. That bastard had destroyed my father's wand and my mother had given her wand to me after Potter had stolen mine at the manor. They were defenceless against that lunatic. Do you know what my mother did in the forest? She LIED! She lied to his face -one of the most skilled Occlumens in the WORLD -to make sure that I was alive.

"When I saw Potter was alive, I ran right past that bastard and gave Potter my wand. In that moment, the only thing that mattered was that he was alive, he was going to win!" he let out a shrill laugh. "In the scramble of Potter getting away, I hurried deep into the castle. I was a bigger target now, I needed to stay hidden until everything had died down. They were running around trying to find me, with no wands, targets to both sides, just so they could find me!"

He could feel tears burning in his eyes. So, what if one or two had escaped? Who gave a shit if he was seeing red and magic was thrumming through the room, vibrating the frames on the walls?

"They had no way to defend themselves from anyone in that battlefield, but they did it anyway to make sure I was safe and alive! That was all that mattered to them! So, don't you dare -DON'T. YOU. DARE. -say that my parents didn't love me!"

The glass in the frames cracked and shattered across the room.

Dr. Lisa's glasses chipped.

She flinched away from him as the coffee table splintering in half brought him back down to Earth. He shook the anger off like a grubby cloak, and raked a hand through his hair, his breathing heavy and ragged. He glanced around the room, his limbs trembling. Fuck, Auror Buxley was outside.

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Turning away from Dr. Lisa as she backed away from him, he was out of the door in an instant, froze as soon as Buxley's eyes landed on him.

"You done, then?" Buxley asked, setting aside a book he was reading.

Draco nodded stiffly, averting his gaze.

"Alright, let's get you home then. You okay to side-along, you look pale?"

"I'm always pale," Draco replied hollowly.

"If you vomit on me, you can pay for the cleaning bill," Buxley smirked, cocking his arm for Draco to take ahold. He did as he was told, the sickening tug on his navel ending his nightmare with Dr. Lisa.

.

~0~

.

Harry tried to pay attention to what Scooby-Doo was saying, but it was difficult to enjoy it when Draco hadn't come out of his room at all since, he had seen his Doctor. He had looked very white and shaky as he signed a piece of scroll the Auror had given him. He'd barely spared Harry a glance before he'd hurried up to his room.

He had eaten his dinner and Daddy had even been really nice and given him chocolate ice cream. It was a little too cold for ice cream, but Daddy had insisted that it was Moony's favourite.

The ice cream was gone now, and he could hear Moony and Daddy in the conservatory. When he'd gone to the toilet, he had seen Daddy had lit tons of candles all over the shelves and windowsills. There were thick fuzzy blankets on the chairs and several boxes of chocolates. He knew that at the end of the week, Moony would change into a werewolf. It still scared Harry a little about living with a werewolf, but Moony was always so lovely to him, and he took good care of baby Teddy.

There was no way that Moony was dangerous.

Besides, when Daddy taught him how to become an animal as well, then they could all stay up all night and play around together. He wondered what sort of animal he would be. He liked the idea of being a bear or a lion, but he also thought he would like to be a dog, like Daddy.

He couldn't help but frown thoughtfully; what would Draco be if he could be an animal?

Harry, personally, thought that Draco was far too pretty to be anything small or sneaky like a fox, even if he was good at finding Harry. Maybe he would be a type of bird? Like an owl or an eagle?

"I should go and ask him," Harry said to himself. "Maybe we can watch a movie to cheer him up."

Grabbing his stuffed dragon -Poppy -Harry hurried up the stairs and crept along the landing until he was at Draco's door. Pressing his ear to the door he heard nothing from the other side; Draco didn't seem to like music much. He preferred to do a lot of reading. It seemed a little sad. Whenever Draco caught Harry staring at him, he'd give a smile, but it was never a happy smile.

Chewing on his lip, Harry knocked on the door.

Silence.

He knocked again. "Draco, are you sleeping?"

He was just about to knock again when there was a sigh from the other side of the door. Floorboards creaked and then the door inched inwards. Draco's pale face frowned down at him. Had Harry woken him up?

"Are you okay, Harry?" Draco asked, his voice a sleep gruffer than usual.

"Yes …" he fiddled with Poppy's wings. "Did I wake you up?"

"Um no …" Draco scrubbed his hands down over his face. "Did you want some company?"

Harry shrugged. "I don't want to bother you if you're busy."

Shaking his head, Draco stepped out of his room and stretched his back. "I'm not busy, kid. I was just having a nap." He gently nudged Harry towards the stairs, and they walked down together towards the lounge. "Where's your dad?"

"He's doing something for Moony for Valentines day," Harry said, plonking himself down on the sofa.

"Ah I see," Draco settled down next to him. Scooby-Doo was still playing. "Have you eaten?"

"Yeah, Daddy made us all dinner while you were napping. He said there's more in the fridge."

Draco nodded, propping his head up on the arm of the sofa. They watched in silence and Harry definitely preferred sitting close to Draco compared to sitting by himself. Hugging Poppy to his chest, he leaned a little so that he was leaning against Draco's shoulder. It made him feel warm and comfortable knowing that Draco wasn't pushing him away, despite clearly not being in the mood to deal with other people.

"Draco?"

"Mm?"

"Aren't you going to eat some food?"

"I'm not really hungry."

Harry frowned, plucking gently as Poppy's squishy horns. He could feel Draco's magic thrumming dully around the room. It seemed to dampen him own emotions. He shyly glanced up at Draco before furrowing his brow in thought. It must be that time of the month where everyone got sad. Shuffling off the sofa, Harry padded out of the lounge. Draco continued to stare vacantly at Scooby-Doo. He wasn't even watching it. That was a shame, because this was a funny episode.

Poppy clutched under his arm, he edged towards the conservatory. The door was ajar and there was a small box of chocolates on the small table near the door. As he got closer, Sirius and Remus' voices drifted out into the quiet of the hallway.

"-Still cannot believe you've done this for me," Remus chuckled as Sirius poured some more whiskey into a tumbler. "And on Valentines day? You hate these holidays?"

"Yes, it's sickening how over-priced chocolate becomes on World Wide Love Day," Sirius rolled his eyes.

"So why go through the trouble?"

Sirius gave Remus a patient look. Honestly, it was a miracle he didn't pull a muscle _not_ rolling his eyes. "I know how much you love chocolate," he answered softly, stretching his arm along the back of the loveseat they were sat on. Remus hummed, leaning his head sideways to rest it on Sirius' arm. Sirius mirrored his movements. "I also know how much you're going to need all of this in the next few days. I just wanted to be prepared."

"I'll send you my dentist bill," came the dry reply.

Sirius chuckled, lazily clinking their glasses together.

Harry felt his cheeks blush as he watched his Dad's hand sliding through Remus' hair. Sneaking the box of chocolates out he hurried away before the two grown-ups did anything gross, like kiss!

Hurrying off to the kitchen, Harry set a tray with two tall glasses of strawberry milk and the small box of chocolates before carefully walking up the steps to the hallway, the tray balance precariously between his hands. He'd had to leave Poppy on the tabletop but needs must!

Draco needed cheering up and Harry was determined to do so!

Draco still hadn't moved from where he'd slumped onto the sofa twenty minutes ago. When the door creaked, Draco shifted his head and cocked an eyebrow when he saw Harry shakily bringing the tray over to the coffee table.

"Oh, kid, what have you gone and done now?" Draco shot the kid an almost-smile. His plan was working!

Feeling flushed, Harry ran his hand through his hair, messing it up, and shrugged a shoulder. Why did he suddenly feel awkward now? "I just thought you needed cheering up. Daddy always gives Remus chocolates when he's sad, so I thought maybe chocolates would cheer you up again."

At Draco's barely changed expression, Harry faltered.

"Did … did I do something wrong?" he worried his bottom lip.

"No, no, no, no," Draco sat up a little straighter and reached out. Harry let Draco take his hand and pull him over a little so that he was standing in front of the older boy. He felt his cheeks blushing as those bright grey eyes stared into his. Draco reached out and brushed Harry's fringe from his eyes. "You're very sweet, Harry."

"Is that good?"

"That's excellent," Draco gave a weak smile. "Thank you for cheering me up."

Harry couldn't stop his own smile. "So, it worked?"

Chuckling, Draco nodded. "Yes, it worked."

Harry threw his arms around Draco's neck and hugged him. "I'm glad!" he mumbled, muffled into Draco's shoulder.

Draco took a deep breath of Harry's sharp, sugary sweet scene and gave him a big squeeze. It was like they were burrowing as close to one another as possible, squashing out all the bad energy. Finally stepping away, Harry handed Draco his strawberry milkshake. They sat on the sofa side-by-side, drinking strawberry milk and taking bites out of the chocolates, trying to determine which were the best ones -a few coconut flavoured ones were tossed to one side -as they watched a few more episodes of Scooby-Doo.

Draco even laughed when Shaggy had to run from the headless man!

It was perfect until …

"Alright kid, time for you to head to bed. Your dad will kill me if he knows I let you stay up so late."

"I don't want to go to bed," Harry pouted. "Please just one more?"

"No," Draco smiled. "Come on, let's say 'goodnight' to your Dad and Remus, okay?"

Harry pulled an agitated face but didn't kick up much of a fuss as Draco pulled him up to his feet, turned off the TV and ushered him out into the entryway. Turning the lights off as they went, Draco and Harry walked along to the conservatory. Draco stopped in the doorway; Remus and Sirius were slow-dancing, the candlelight catching in every dark curl, every whisker, and every scar. Yet, the serene smile on Sirius' face as he leaned his head on Remus' shoulder -Harry couldn't remember seeing his Dad that happy when he hadn't been the direct cause.

"Draco?" he whispered, tugging on the blonde's sleeve. "Why are they dancing like that?"

"That's how couples dance," Draco murmured.

"Oh," Harry glanced back up at the two men, slowly swaying together; Remus had one of Sirius' hands clasped over his heart. "Draco? Did your parents ever dance like that?"

The question came out of nowhere. Draco licked his lips and tried to think back to the happier moments of his youth. Had his parents ever danced in such an uninhibited way? Had they swayed together by candlelight? Did Lucius ever kiss the top of his wife's head as they moved to and fro?

"I … I don't know …"

Why did it hurt to say such things? Why was it like a knife to the heart to think that Dr. Lisa had been right; that there was no real love between his parents, or his family as a whole? It made him feel ill.

"Can you dance, Draco?"

"I uh … Yes, of course I can," he cleared his throat and shook the bad thoughts aside. "Mother and Father always made sure I had the best etiquette at all our dinner parties. It isn't proper of a Malfoy not to dance in public gatherings."

"Oh …"

"So … Yes, I can dance."

Harry nodded for a moment before running a hand through his hair again. "Can you … s-show me how to dance?"

"I -what?"

"I never learned. I don't think I ever do … Do I?"

"Not very well, as I recall."

"Then you have to show me," Harry grinned. Turning away from the crack in the door, Harry took both of Draco's hands in his own. "Show me, show me!"

Draco rolled his eyes. "Fine. Can you reach your hands onto my shoulders?"

"I … um …" Harry tiptoed up and just about grazed Draco's shoulders with his hands. "Hmph! No, I'm too short."

"That's okay. Come up here," Draco lifted Harry just enough to wriggle his socked feet under Harry's smaller ones. "There, now you can dance on my feet."

Harry giggled and felt his cheeks grow warm. "Did you dance this way with your dad?"

"I did once or twice," Draco admitted, trying to suppress a smile. Oh, if only the world knew! "Now, hold onto my shoulders."

Harry did as he was told. Draco moved his feet a little awkwardly as first as he tried to adjust to carrying Harry's weight on them, but soon they were swaying slowly to the music that was gently oozing out of the gramophone in the conservatory. It felt nice to have his face leaning against the blonde's cosy jumper; he could even feel Draco's heart thudding quietly somewhere underneath.

He was really happy he could cheer Draco up.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" Sirius' voice drew the boys out of their little moment.

Draco froze, his face paling as Sirius lounged in the doorway looking adoringly at them both whilst Remus leaned over the brunette, ducking his head slightly so as not to knock against the doorframe.

"Draco was showing me how he used to dance with his Dad," Harry beamed brightly.

"Oh, is that so?" Sirius sent a wicked grin his cousin's way before extending his hand. "May I cut in?"

"What does that mean?" Harry frowned.

"It means your Daddy wants to dance with you," Draco said, slipping the small hands into Sirius'.

"Oh, okay."

Sirius gave Draco's shoulder a squeeze before Harry carefully shifted over to step up onto Sirius' feet. The sudden loss of weight less Draco feeling cast adrift and the sudden ache he felt made him feel cold all over. He stepped back until his back bumped into the doorframe. Remus reached up behind him and gave him a one-armed hug as they watched Sirius shuffling about to Celestina Warbeck's number one hits.

"Did they ever do this? Before … you know …" Draco trailed off, his voice barely a whisper.

Remus' ears picked up on his quiet tone. He nodded. "One or twice, when Harry was learning to crawl and be a little more independent. Of course, it didn't help that he would also dance like this with James, hoping for a monkey-see monkey-do sort of scenario."

Draco watched the light shining over his cousin; this man had gone through Hell and back, literally and figuratively, and still was able to smile? How could a man, thought so far beyond redemption, be teaching his godson to dance on his feet in his old family home? How could he have a newly rekindled love watching on as though it was the most natural thing in the world?

This was the real Sirius Black, the kind, loving, wildly eccentric man who had so much love to give and was denied almost everything in return. Yet he continued on, spurned by his own rebellious nature -and he was happy.

That was where Dr. Lisa was wrong about Draco; she thought he was cold, stoic, and emotionally detached from everything because of his family and how he was raised. Only Harry Potter had gotten him so frazzled that he'd _just_ missed out on scoring perfectly on his exams.

Draco knew how weak he was. He wasn't a killer, even Dumbledore and Snape had known that. He had taken the Dark Mark to protect his Mother, to give his Father some hope that maybe -maybe -he could be the one to help rebuild their reputation, or at the very least, to keep them alive.

Draco wouldn't have gone through the pain and agony if there was no love between them. That scabbing black mark on his arm was proof enough of that.

Hot tears began to prick in his eyes. He brushed them to one side. Remus drew in a long, deep breath. "You're sad, I can smell it," he mumbled, love enough so as not to disturb Sirius or Harry. "What's on your mind?"

"My parents. Mainly my father. How he's rotting away in that hell-hole." He sighed, "I'd say he deserves it but …"

Remus squeezed his shoulder. "I know. It _is_ hard. It's a lot to come to terms with."

Draco nodded, "I think I'm going to head to bed."

"Do you want some company?"

"No -thank you. I just need to sleep." He forced a small smile, before slipping away through the shadowed hallway.

.

When he got to his room he changed into loose pyjamas and crawled into his bed but wasn't able to go to sleep straight away. It wasn't until after midnight -when everyone else had gone to sleep -that he reached into his desk drawer and removed his wand. It thrummed between his fingers, but still felt a little alien to hold it. Stroking his thumb along the wooden handle, Draco pointed it at his desk and breathed, "_Accio_ pen and paper."

The objects stuttered a little, but eventually hobbled through the air before dropping onto his lap. He sat there for ages, staring at the blank page before he started to write. Once written, he stuffed the letter into an envelope and set it on his bedside cupboard.

The word 'Father' was printed on the front.

When Draco drifted off to sleep, it was to the phantom feeling of small feet dancing on top of his own, and the sugary smell of chocolate and cinnamon teasing at his nose.

* * *

**A/N: Did I rot your teeth yet?**

**Please leave some lovely reviews!**

**B x**


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